iMPACT

iMPACT

August 30, 2007

Comments by Sassy in italics

From Last Week:

Replay of Showtime Eric Young being spray painted by Ron The Truth Killings and Jones.  Replay of Samoa Joe being ambushed by Christian Cage, AJ Styles and Tomko. Replay of The Steiner Brothers being ambushed by Team 3D during the match with Kurt Angle.

We are at the inside entrance to the building and see Crystal Lawthan with The Truth and Jones. Crystal wants to know why they picked on Eric last week after The Truth said he was going to help Jones clean up his image.  The Truth says it is because Eric wanted something for free. Jones says he freely gave Eric Young a free autograph. Jones tells Crystal he could get Ė and I quote Ė five hundred grand for an autograph.  And someone else is going to get a free autograph tonight.

I donít know who is paying for Jonesí autograph, but they should have their head examined by a competent, not Kevin Nash, psychiatrist.  

Announcers:  Mike Tenay and Don West

We go to Jeremy Borash in the back with Kurt and Karen Angle and Kevin Nash. Kurt tells JB no one in the four way match is worthy to be his partner and that they all hate him. Nash tells Kurt they donít hate him.  Kurt is a gold medallist. Nash says he doesnít think these guys realize how much Kurt gives to charity on a weekly basis. Kurt laughs, which makes the other two, laugh. Karen tells Kurt that he took care of everything last week so she is going to take care of everything this week. JB spends the entire time looking very puzzled.

Join the club, JB. I didnít get it either.  It is nice to know Kurt doesnít give anything to charity.  Perhaps Kurt should be teaming up with Jones.

Brother Ray & Brother Devon, Team 3D, from New York City, NY

Vs.

Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley, The Motor City Machineguns

Tenay tells the audience that Rick Steiner of the Steiner Brothers will be out indefinitely because of being put through a table last week by Team 3D.

Before Sabin and Shelley can get in the ring, Scott Steiner of the Steiner Brothers comes down the entrance ramp.  Scott pushes past Sabin and Shelley and motions for them to go to the back.  Brother Ray points to his chin telling Scott to plant one right there.  Ray and Devon work the crowd. Scott slides into the ring but is double teamed by Ray and Devon. They throw Scott into the ropes and he comes off the ropes and delivers a double clothesline sending Ray and Devon to the mat. The crowd cheers Scott on as he sends Ray to the mat again with a suplex.  He then sends Devon to the mat with a belly-to-belly suplex.  Devon rolls out of the ring onto the floor. Scott goes out of the ring and then goes under the ring to grab a table. Scott slides the table into the ring. He delivers a belly-to-belly suplex to Ray and goes to set the table up.  Devon comes in on the opposite side of the ring and catches Scott with a forearm to the back sending him to the mat. Devon delivers a series of boots to Scott much to the dismay of the audience. Devon uses his boot and leverage of the ropes to choke Scott. Devon sends Scott into the ropes.  As he comes off, Devon and Ray catch him in a 3D. Ray goes out of the ring and grabs a mic to come back in and trash talk Scott who is still down. There are now three referees in the ring, but Ray runs them back out of the ring with a steel chair. Ray holds the chair on Scottís throat while Devon takes another chair and slams it on top of the chair on Scottís neck. The referees assist Scott out of the ring as Ray continues to barrage Scott with insults. Scott is down on the floor surrounded by referees.  Scott and the referees are joined by others, including security and paramedics, from the backstage area. Ray has grabbed the hammer from the timekeeper and heads toward Scott.  Everyone around Scott gets out of Rayís way.  Ray threatens everyone with the hammer and pounds it on the metal guardrail for emphasis.  Devon takes down two of the security guards before both men turn back to Scott who is unprotected on the floor. Ray and Devon roll Scott back into the ring where the table is set up. Ray is on the top rope. Again the referees try to get into the ring to intervene but Ray runs them off. The referees are back in the ring and on the apron but that doesnít slow Ray and Devon down. They set Scott up and send him through the table the same way Rick went through the table last week.

Iím sorry we missed Sabin and Shelley.  Scott is a fantastic substitute but it wasnít a match, it was a beat down. I have a hard time deciding who would win if it was Scott Steiner versus Brother Ray or if it was Scott Steiner versus Brother Devon.  All three of them have size on their side.  I think I would have to vote for Scott in a Scott versus Ray.  Scott versus Devon could easily be a tie. 

Back from commercial break and Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin are in the ring where Shelley is telling the crowd that everyone needs a hero and they need a match so they can bump up the ratings. The crowd is all for it and we hear VKMís music.

Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley, The Motor City Machineguns

Vs.

BJ & Kip James, accompanied by Roxxi Laveaux, Voodoo Kin Mafia

Before the bell rings, all four men are battling it out in the ring. Kip tosses Sabin out onto the floor and Shelley is tossed into the ring post by BG. BG goes across the ring to harass Sabin and Kip takes the opportunity to choke Shelley. BG sends Shelley into the ropes; Shelley ducks the clothesline and grabs BG as Sabin comes off the top rope to nail BG in the back sending him face first into the mat. Sabin takes a springboard drop kick across Shelleyís back to send Kip to the floor. BG swings at Shelley, Shelley ducks and takes BG down in a drop toehold.  Sabin comes off the ropes and drops an elbow into BGís back as Kip argues with the referee. Sabin slides over BG and holds him as Shelley comes off with a baseball slide to BGís skull. Sabin and Shelley work the crowd for a few more cheers and rounds of applause. Shelley slides under Kip on the ring apron, grabs his legs and pulls him off to the floor but Kip is ready and lands on his feet.  Kip turns and sends Shelley into the poster wall by the guardrail. Sabin is working on BG in the ring and turns in time to see Kip enter the ring. Sabin ducks a swing from Kip and comes off the ropes to get caught by Kip and sent to the floor with a power bomb. BG covers Sabin, goes for the pin and gets the win. Kip gets a mic in order to demand a tag team worthy of VKM.

Ask and you shall receive as the music of the Latin American Exchange starts up and Hernandez and Homicide come down the entrance ramp. Tenay says it must be open challenge night on iMPACT.  As VKM stands in the ring with LAX at the ring apron, XXX Ė Christopher Daniels, Senshi and Elix Skipper Ė come down the opposite ramp. The camera goes to the other entrance ramp and Eric Young and Shark Boy are making their way to the ring as well.

Homicide & Hernandez, LAX

Vs.

Christopher Daniels, Senshi & Elix Skipper, XXX

Vs.

Eric Young & Shark Boy

Vs.

BG & Kip James, VKM

Homicide and Hernandez are the first ones in the ring; XXX members are in the ring next as Eric and Shark Boy run down the ramp to join in. There is action all over the ring and it is moving so fast it is difficult to describeÖ

Tenay then says ďback to JB with Karen AngleĒ and the camera shows us just that. JB says it isnít a good idea for Karen to go see Samoa Joe but Karen says she didnít hit him with a chair so it shouldnít be a problem. She opens the door and it is a problem.  Joe is not happy with her in his locker room.  Joe yanks the piece of paper out of her hand, which must be the restraining order Karen claims to have, and asks her if she thinks the piece of paper scares him.  Joe says it should have come with a SWAT team. Karen tells Joe that no one is winning the war and if they joined forces, since they are the most powerful people in the company, they could accomplish something.  Joe says that makes sense and tells her to close the door so they can talk about it. Joe says that when you take the emotion out of it, he and Kurt could be unstoppable and they could rule the world. Joe says he wants to be Kurtís partner in the worst way. Joe says he wants Karen to be there when he dismembers Kurt, when he takes him apart piece by piece, gold medal and all. Joe says when he lays Kurtís broken body at her feet; she will know that she caused this. He tells her to go out there and tell her sugar daddy that Joe will see him soon.

This was absolutely the stupidest move TNA has made.  Why would you cut away from a match in progress -- and keep reading folks -- we never get back to that match. As much as I enjoy seeing Joe in front of the mic, in the ring, or chasing AJ Styles through the building, it was not fair to take away from the action in the ring for this little skit. Karen Angle has not taken any acting lessons and Joeís hat did not come with instructions Ė he had it on the wrong way. If you readers think you had it rough watching this stuff being played out during iMPACT, you should be me having to type it and then proofread it for errors. 

Back from commercial break we see a TNA Bound For Glory promo.

And we still donít know who won the big match that was going on before we were so rudely interrupted with the Karen blah, blah, blah. I am sure the TV audience did not appreciate missing all those greats in the ring.

We are backstage with JB who is with Christian Cage, AJ Styles and Tomko. And in wanders Karen Angle. Christian asks her if she doesnít see that they are busy and wants to know if there is something that she wants. Christian asks her if she is in the right place and tells her that the strip club is down the street. AJ stops Christian and tells him that she is a lady. Christian again asks Karen whatís on her mind and she says what is always on her mind Ė business. Karen tells Christian that she will help him win tonight, he will become Kurtís partner and he and Kurt will successfully defend the TNA Tag Team titles at No Surrender. Christian wants to know what it in it for him.  Karen tells him he can have a match against the champ, Kurt Angle. Christian asks her if itís that easy and she says it is.  Christian tells her that he isnít buying it because the only person around here who is a bigger liar than Karen is Christian. Christian tells AJ that they are going to take care of Joe and they are going to take care of Sting and it will come down to the two of them and the best man is going to win. AJ stays behind and asks Karen if the deal is for any of them and she says that it is.  AJ says that he is not gullible or stupid and he starts to walk away.  Then he turns around and comes back to ask her again.  Karen tells AJ to win and then gives him a kiss. AJ tells JB that Karen wants him so bad but not to tell Kurt.

I was hoping that Christian would draw Karen a map to the strip club.  She canít act, maybe she can read. No such luck.  I have watched AJ Styles many times and he does play the best chump character around. Tomko can make more use of his facial muscles in these encounters without ever opening his mouth.  The two of them kept the jaw exercises going on entertaining.

Tenay and West give us a rundown of the matches we can expect at No Surrender.

We then go to visit Cowboy James Storm doing his Cowboy Pub Crawl in an attempt to find Rhino.  Tenay tells us that he understands the people in the bars are being hostile. Storm tells us last week he went to bars that were way too good for Rhino.  He is now going to the lowest dumps. Storm enters the first bar and threatens everyone before the bar patrons advance on Storm, pool cues in hand, and run him out to the street. One guy tells Storm he is not going to start anything, there is no fighting allowed in the bar.  Storm asks if Rhino has been there and the guy says he has Ė yesterday. Storm tells the guy if Rhino comes back to call him and the guy repeats that Storm is not welcome at the bar.  The screen then shows this message:

HAVE YOU SEEN

RHINO?

IF SO CALL

1-888-HAVE-A-BEER

I wonder if anyone tried to call the number.  As comical as Storm has become in these little around the town skits, I am concerned it is a build up for yet another Rhino getting beat in the ring. 

Back at the iMPACT Zone:

Four Way Match to Determine Angleís Tag Team Championship Partner

The Instant Classic Christian Cage, from Tampa, FL by way of Ontario, Canada

Vs.

The Phenomenal AJ Styles, from Gainsville, GA

Vs.

The Samoan Submission Machine Samoa Joe from American Samoa

Vs.

The Icon Sting from Venice Beach, CA

Before Sting enters the arena, the camera flashes to Karen Angle with JB talking to Sting. She tells Sting that he and Kurt could do anything together, that they could change the world for the children.  Sting tells her that if she is so concerned about the children to go change her dress.  JB still looks confused.

Don't feel bad, JB. I donít know what they are paying her for either.

Before the match can begin, Kurt Angle in suit and sunglasses, dragging Karen along with him, enters the arena.  And we go to commercial break.

Back from commercial break, Sting and Joe are in the ring, Christian and AJ enter and itís Sting against AJ and Joe against Christian as the bell rings. Joe doesnít waste any time beating Christian to the mat with some heavy fists and then keeping him there with some heavy boots. Sting has AJ in the opposite corner and sends him down with a big boot to the abdomen. Joe finally lets up on Christian due to referee interference while AJ has turned the tables on Sting and has him up against the ropes. AJ delivers a series of blows to Sting then goes after Joe who still has Christian down on the mat. As AJ works on Joe, Christian is back to his feet and itís a double team. Christian handles Joe as AJ goes back to work on Sting. AJ has Sting back down but Joe has turned the tables and is working on Christian.  AJ comes back across the ring to aid Christian in bringing down Joe. AJ and Christian toss Joe through the ropes to the floor then go after Sting. Sting comes up fighting, sending elbows into Christian and fists into AJ before Christian catches him with a forearm to the back of the head sending Sting down to one knee. Christian holds Sting so that AJ can come off the ropes and nail Sting with a fist to the midsection. AJ hold Sting so that Christian can hit him with a fist to the abdomen. AJ punches Sting then AJ and Christian come off the ropes but Sting catches them with a double clothesline sending them both to the mat. Sting sends AJ through the ropes and onto the floor then goes after Christian sending him into the ropes.  Christian comes off the ropes and gets Sting with a boot.  As Christian comes off the ropes again, Sting catches him with a flying drop kick. Sting tries to set Christian up for the scorpion but Christian is close enough to get his hands on the ropes. The camera pans Kurt who seems concerned enough to take his sunglasses off to watch the action. Christian is back against the corner post but as Sting heads toward him, he is met with a Christian sized boot. A punch and a chop are sent by Christian before he attempts to send Sting to the opposite ropes.  Sting gets the switch, sending Christian into the ropes and as Christian comes off, Sting delivers a boot then a bulldog. As Sting gets close to the ropes, AJ grabs his leg and pulls him out to the floor.  Joe is back in the ring waiting for Christian to get up. AJ sends Sting into the steel steps as Joe takes Christian down in the naked rear choke. AJ sees what is happening and is back in the ring to break the hold.  AJ and Christian now team up to double team Joe but Joe manages to box and kick his way out of the corner. Joe sends Christian into the ring post and delivers a hard forearm, then sends AJ to the opposite corner where he slams into him with an elbow before delivering a high kick to AJís head. AJ and Christian are both down on the mat.  Joe turns his attention to Christian, choking him with a boot. AJ is back to his feet and as he tries to get to Joe, Joe delivers a hard kick to the midsection then sends AJ head first into Christianís crotch area. As AJ gets up, Joe delivers a back body drop then goes for the cover. Joe gets a two count before AJ gets a shoulder off the mat. Joe sets AJ up on the top turnbuckle but Christian breaks it up.  Joe takes Christian down with a fist, AJ is back on the mat springs off the top rope and takes Joe down with an inverted DDT. Sting comes off the top rope landing on Christian and AJ.  Sting sends Christian over the top rope to the floor , then sends AJ through the middle ropes to the floor. Joe and Sting face off in the center of the ring and...

We go to commercial break.

Back from commercial break, Sting is delivering a series of blows to Joe, Joe ducks and delivers a high kick to Stingís skull. We see replays of what happened during the commercial break:  Sting picks Christian up high in the air and drops him to the floor outside the ring while Joe sends AJ out of the ring over the top rope, catching him on the rope on the way down to the floor. Back to real time, Joe catapults Sting into AJ who is on the ring apron trying to get back into the match. Sting is still on his feet and charges at Joe, who slams Sting to the mat and goes for the pin. Joe gets a two count before Sting powers out. Joe picks Sting up, delivers a fist and sends Sting into the ring post. As Joe charges Sting with an elbow, Sting gets out of the way and Joe connects with the turnbuckle. Sting goes to the opposite ring post and charges Joe, but Joe sidesteps and Stings body goes into the corner post. Joe is outside on the apron going to the top rope but Sting climbs the ropes on the inside of the ring. Sting manages to get the edge and tosses Joe over his head onto the mat. AJ makes the most of both men on the mat and attempts to pin Sting. AJ gets a two count. Christian attempts to cover Joe but AJ breaks it up.  Christian and AJ have a verbal disagreement, Christian heads toward Sting, but AJ rolls Christian up and tries for the pin.  Christian kicks out and as AJ comes at him again, he sweeps AJís legs, sending him to the mat.  Christian goes for the pin and gets a two count. AJ flips over Christian and gets his shoulders down, but Christian bridges out, flips AJ over and tries to set AJ up for the backslide.  Christian gets a two count.  Christian immediately goes after AJ, delivering a hard chop then chokes him. When the referee does the count, Christian delivers shoulder blocks to AJís abdomen, slamming him into the corner post. Christian sends AJ into the opposite corner post but when he charges, AJ gets a boot up and stops Christian. AJ goes to the top rope, Christian gets out of the way, AJ lands on his feet, AJ delivers a kick to Christianís abdomen and tries to set Christian up for a pin but Sting breaks it up.  AJ ducks Stingís forearm and does a peleg to deliver a boot to Stingís head. Joe is up and he and AJ meet mid ring with clotheslines.  Christian is the only one on his feet and he is on the apron going around the ring. Christian goes up to the top rope and dives in the direction of Joe and AJ but they get out of the way and Christian is face first on the mat. All four men are now down in the ring. The camera pans to Kurt to show his amazement at what is happening in the ring (we know itís because Kurt wishes he could work the ring like these four men) and the referee is counting. Sting is first to his feet, AJ is up second with the help of the ropes. Christian is up and heading for Sting.  Sting flips Christian up and over his head and the top rope sending Christian face first to the floor. AJ nails Sting in the back sending him through the ropes. Joe is up to one knee on the opposite side of the ring as we see Sting tumble off the ring apron and to the floor near Christian. Joe is up and comes after AJ, sending him over the top rope.  AJ manages to stay on his feet on the ring apron but Joe sends him to the floor with a forearm. Joe goes back to the ropes and flies across the top rope taking down the three men on the floor. All four men are down on the floor andÖ

  We go to a commercial break. 

Back from commercial break, Christian, the only one on his feet, is in the ring with Sting and AJ.  There is no sign of Joe. Christian uses the ropes to put a standing choke on Sting and then we see replays of what happened during the commercial break.  Christian hits Joe with a low blow before dropping him forehead first onto the floor outside.  Back to real time and AJ and Christian are working on Sting. They hit Sting with a double suplex and Christian goes for what we think is the pin but Christian turns it into a chokehold forcing the referee to break it up. As Christian keeps the referee occupied, AJ goes for the choke on Sting. Christian scrapes Stingís forehead with his boot and then Christian and AJ stop to chat. They get Sting to his feet but Sting fights to get free.  Sting sends AJ into a ring post then sends Christian after him. As Sting delivers a stinger splash, Christian moves out of the way leaving AJ to take the full force of the blow from Stingís body. Sting and Christian lock up and Sting takes Christian down with a scorpion death drop and covers Christian with an arm.  The referee gets to the count of two before AJ breaks up the count. AJ is on his feet, Christian is on his knees and Sting is down on the mat. AJ says something to Christian and Christian heads out of the ring and grabs a steel chair. Joe, still outside the ring, is on his feet and he takes the chair away from Christian and swings it at him.  Christian gets out of the way and the chair connects with the ring post. Joe slams a fist into Christian and then sends him into Andover the announcerís table.  Itís now Joe and Christian fighting outside of the ring and Joe slams Christian into a wall before they head out of the arena.  AJ and Sting are still in the ring.  Sting is down and AJ is working to take the padding off of one of the top turnbuckles. With the referee busy trying to stop AJ, Tomko enters the ring as Sting is trying to get to his feet. As Sting stands up, Tomko delivers a boot to the side of Stingís face sending Sting crashing once again to the mat. AJ, smiling, covers Sting, but only gets a two count before Sting gets a shoulder up. AJ canít believe the count and argues with the referee. AJ goes out on the ring apron and springboards off of the top rope, but Sting catches him, sending a shoulder block into AJís abdomen. Sting then sets AJ up for the scorpion.  AJ taps out and Sting wins the match making Sting Kurtís tag team partner. Kurt does not look happy. Kurt enters the ring carrying the two gold belts to give Sting his tag team belt. Karen hands the belts to Sting.  Kurt extends a hand and Kurt and Sting shake hands.

Kurt heads up the ramp to leave the arena as Team Pacman enters the ring to take Sting down.  Correction, as The Truth takes Sting down. Jones spray paints the word Pac on Stings back but Kurt enters the ring running The Truth and Jones out onto the floor.

This has got to be one of the best matches I have seen. It certainly was the greatest action in this hour of iMPACT. I know the audience favored Joe and Sting but AJ and Christian certainly didnít hold anything back.  All four of these men worked the ring like the pros they are and kept us glued to the screen.  AJ may be good at playing the screw up outside the ring but in the ring he can still produce magic and you can see it on his face.  He is intent on what he is doing in the six-sided ring.  Joe has never been able to disappoint the fans in any match he works.  Watching Joe's moves is a pure adrenaline rush. Sting was superb and stayed right in there with the rest of the players.  I personally thought this was the best he has been in quite some time. Christian is something to watch in the ring as well.  In a few more years Christian should be able to claim the moniker ďThe Second Dirtiest Player in the GameĒ hands down.  That is not an insult, Christian.  Joe and his fire dancers have the best entrance going in TNA. Even when Joe isnít dancing with them, it is a fantastic entrance.  Sting has a decent entrance even though he doesnít have any fire dancers around. The problem with this match was that it was the last thing shown, we kept getting interrupted by commercial breaks and non TNA fans tuning in to check out TNA action would have been easily bored and inclined to channel surf. 

The television audience already lost a fast paced high flying match in order to hear Karen Angle run her mouth, Give us a break TNA. Couldnít someone have offered her a ride to the strip club Christian knew about down the street?

I heard Jim Cornette was ill and that was why he would not be on iMPACT this week.  Maybe Cornette is hiding from the pure joke that has become TNA in the last few weeks. It would make me sick too.  At least when Cornettee is running his mouth he is funny. With the exception of the final match, what a waste of TV airtime. Jones is not going to hold the audience. Nobody is buying into the Team Pacman gimmick. The Angles are not going to hold the audience.  The open challenge match that we missed earlier might have held them but we will never know because the TV audience got ripped off and didnít get to see it.  And the best match of the night had unnecessary interruptions.  TNA could have shown commercials during all of the Angles backstage blather and given wrestling fans what they really wanted.  TNA has the ability to boost the ratings, has the talent to do it,  and then they go and pull this kind of  garbage.

 

 

 

TNA iMPACT !! / THURSDAY AUGUST 23 / PLAY-BY-PLAY ANALYSIS AND COMMENTARY BY SASSY
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