iMPACT

March 27, 2008 – Recap by Sassy

My day job has been consisting of a ton of computer work as of late and because of that, I will be cutting back on play-by-play action on all of the weekly reviews. As soon as my workload slacks off a little, I’ll be back to play-by-play reviews.

Last week on iMPACT

Big Poppa Punk Scott Steiner & Maple Leaf Muscle Petey Williams with Rhaka Kahn defeated Kaz & Showtime Eric Young after Black Reign & Rellik appeared to distract Eric.

Tomko defeated The War Machine Rhino after AJ Styles interfered.

In a Lockdown X-Scape Qualifying Match, The Guru Sonjay Dutt defeated Homicide with Hernandez & Salinas.

Curry Man & The Guru Sonjay Dutt have won spots in the X-Scape Match.

Booker T defeated The Prince of Phenomenal AJ Styles after Robert Roode was ejected from the arena and Payton Banks showed up and got the strap from Sharmell who was at ringside.

O.D.B. & Gail Kim defeated Angelina Love & Velvet Sky in a tag team match. After the match Roxxi Laveaux appeared and chase Love & Sky from the arena.

Kurt Angle held an MMA sparring session.

In the main event, at tag team match, The Instant Classic Christian Cage & The War Machine Rhino defeated Brother Ray & Brother Devon of Team 3D by DQ after Tomko & AJ interfered in the match.

The save was made by most of the TNA locker room but in the final moments of the show, a video of Sting was shown indicating Sting would soon be making his return to the TNA ring.

TONIGHT’S iMPACT IS LIVE

TNA WRESTLING

CROSS THE LINE

STING RETURNS…

iMPACT is being broadcast from Universal Studios, Orlando, FL

On Spike TV.

Ringside announcers: Mike Tenay & Don West

Ring announcer: David Penzer

Backstage interviews: Jeremy Borash & Crystal Loutham

Ringside valet: SoCal Val

The show opens with Booker T and Robert Roode fighting through the audience in their street clothes. They fight their way to the outside of the ring. I’m not sure who is winning. Tenay and West tell the viewing audience that this started before the show went on the air. Payton Banks arrives to help her man as Traci Brooks runs to the ring to help Booker T. The girls are in street clothes as well. Security hits the ring along with Jim Cornette and Matt Morgan. Traci seems to have lost her shoes in the fray.

Tenay and West give the audience a rundown of the show scheduled for tonight:

X-Scape Qualifying Match

Johnny Devine against Alex Shelley of the Motor City Machineguns

Tomko & AJ Styles will spar against Kurt Angle

Tenay tells the audience to go to TNAwrestling.com right now and vote for which Awesome Kong will defend her TNA Women’s title against

When will Sting arrive?

Cornette says there will be two matches tonight.

One of them will be Robert Roode against Booker T. The fans will pick the stipulations.

Tenay tells the audience to go to TNAWrestling.com and vote for one of the following matches for Roode versus Booker T

First Blood

Last Man Standing

I Quit

JB is backstage with Tomko and AJ Styles about the exhibition match against Kurt Angle tonight. AJ is talking about Karen moving out and leaving Kurt. AJ talks to Tomko about Team 3D and how they aren’t staying in shape and that Sting might be in the iMPACT Zone tonight. Angle shows up and wants to talk to Tomko and AJ about his match against Samoa Joe and how he needs them to help him get prepared by being in the ring against him tonight. Angle tells JB he had better start working out because next week it might be JB against Angle.

X-Scape Qualifying Match

Johnny Devine from Calgary, Canada

Accompanied to the ring by Brother Ray & Brother Devon of Team 3D

Vs.

Alex Shelley of the Motor City Machineguns from Detroit, MI

Referee: Andrew Thomas

I’ll say one thing about this live iMPACT. They seem to be having a terrible time with regulating the sound.

During the match the lights go out and Brother Ray and Devon head up the entrance ramp and out of the arena. Sting does not appear. Shelley has the audience going throughout this match and after a suicide dive through the ropes that sends Devine into the guardrail, they get even louder. That was a heck of a shot Devine took.

In the MIDDLE of the match, they camera goes backstage to Crystal with all of the women wrestlers in the locker room who appear to be having a disagreement of some sort.

AND THEN IT’S A COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF A MATCH THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN INTERRUPTED!

Shelley was in charge before the break, Devine is in control after the break.

Winner

Johnny Devine

With a little help from the Paparazzi tripod.

I’m always glad when Alex Shelley gets a chance to show his wrestling ability in the ring but Devine did a great job in this match. I see a lot of talent in Devine and think the TNA fans have seen only a small portion of what he can do in the ring. Let’s hope this is a starting point for him to shine a little in the X Division.

X-Scape Qualifying Winners to Date

Black Machismo Jay Lethal

Curry man

The Guru Sonjay Dutt

Johnny Devine

There are two more spots to fill before Lockdown.

Another chapter of the courtship of Lethal and SoCal Val.

They are in the gym and Val is going to help Lethal work out.

Petey Williams appears and calls Lethal a lightweight.

Sonjay Dutt appears and tells Val that he will help Lethal

but Sonjay and Val wander off

Leaving Lethal with a weight bar on his chest.

West reminds the audience that they can vote on who Awesome Kong will face in a title match

Angelina Love, Christy Hemme, Gail Kim, O.D.B., Roxxi Laveaux or Velvet Sky

Tenay reminds the audience to vote for the kind of match between Robert Roode and Booker T.

Crystal is backstage with Booker T and Sharmell and Booker T is yelling about Roode and that Cornette finally paid attention to what Booker wanted. Booker says that Roode will not make it to Lockdown. Booker T says he wants Robert Roode’s blood and wants a first blood match.

Commercial break.

JB is backstage with Brother Ray and Brother Devon of Team 3D and Johnny Devine. JB gets shoved out of the way by Ray. Ray congratulates Devine on his win. Ray then addresses Sting and tells him that their paths have never crossed and if Sting stays away from them, they will stay away from him. As Ray begins to insult Sting, the lights go off and on several times and Ray shuts up.

Dereck Graham-Couch – WWE Wrestler is in the audience.

For wrestling fans that don’t know, Dereck Graham-Couch is Robbie McCallister of the Highlanders. NOTE: After TNA showed Dereck on camera and were nice enough to point out that he is a WWE wrestler, wrestling news sites have been reporting that the WWE sent Dereck home for going to a TNA event. According to those sites, WWE talent was banned from attending any TNA or Ring of Honor event while they were in Florida.

Let me just say this – that’s a lot of crap and the McMahons know it. That would be like a pro baseball player going to another team’s game to watch. Dereck was at the event to see his friend, Johnny Devine in his match against Alex Shelley. Shame on TNA for broadcasting his presence and shame on WWE for sending him home.

Mixed Tag Team Match

Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner

Maple Leaf Muscle Petey Williams

Rhaka Khan

Vs.

Homicide

Hernandez

Salinas

The Latin American Exchange

Referee: Earl Hebner

Homicide almost ran over the ref trying to get to the ropes to come off and nail Scott. I’m anxious to see if Rhaka can wrestler or if she’s just a tall chick with a lot of eye makeup. I do like those shoulder block slingshots Hernandez does. He tends to defy gravity. Great suicide dive by Hernandez over the ropes to take out Scott.

Winners

Homicide

Hernandez

Salinas

Petey’s in trouble again. Two weeks ago, Scott tried to drown him; last week he electrocuted him, this week…uh oh.

Not that I am unhappy that LAX won the match. I am a big LAX fan, however, the dissention between Scott and Petey is very confusing. Initiations are one thing, but I’m not sure this type of initiation should be shown on television during the family hour. Other than that, this match was a good one to watch and Hernandez with his ability to defy gravity even at his size always makes for good wrestling.

TNA Rough Cut

Feast or Fired Match

BG James and Kip James talk about the Feast or Fired Match and how that was the start of the breakup of Voodoo Kin Mafia.

To be continued…

Commercial break.

Joe Zumaya, Detroit Tigers player is in the audience.

The next segment is Mike Tenay and Karen Angle. I skipped it.

Commercial break.

The audience sees a promo for Samoa Joe training for his match against Kurt Angle at Lockdown for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.

Joe is live via satellite from Big Bear, CA. Tenay asks how Joe’s training camp is going and Joe says it’s been hard but he will be ready for war at Lockdown. Tenay says that Joe has faced Angle in four matches and Angle won three out of four. Joe says he doesn’t have any excuses but he is going to win the TNA title.

Frank somebody from MMA joins Tenay and West at the announcer’s table.

Sparring Session

Tomko

The Prince of Phenomenal AJ Styles

TNA Tag Team Champions

Vs.

Kurt Angle

TNA World Heavyweight Champion

Referee: Rudy Charles

I have this terrible urge to see Tomko kick Angle’s butt as Tomko goes up against Angle first.

Time runs out, no winner.

AJ does a great job of staying away from Angle.

Time runs out, AJ manages to get out without being caught by Angle.

Tomko is back in the ring and the audience is a little pro Tomko. Tomko is trapped in an ankle lock but time runs out.

AJ’s back in the ring with Angle. The crowd is pro AJ, too.

Time runs out and no winner. A little shoving match begins between AJ and Angle. Tomko, who is bleeding, has to get in the ring to break it up.

Enter The Instant Classic Christian Cage, Big Sexy Kevin Nash and The War Machine Rhino. Christian says that this must be a joke. Joe is out on the west coast training the way he should be while Angle is in the ring trying to make AJ and Tomko do what Angle wants them to do an embarrassing himself in the process. Christian says they are there to offer their services in a real sparring session. Angle bails out of the ring and Christian, Nash and Rhino attack Tomko and AJ. Brother Ray and Devon show up to help out AJ and Tomko. Devon got caught on a cable on the way into the ring. He managed to get free before he brought whatever was attached to the cable into the ring with him. There is a table set up in the middle of the ring and suddenly the lights go out again. The lights come back on and Sting is in the ring with his baseball bat. He clears the ring of Team 3D, AJ and Tomko and goes to work beating on the table with the bat.

Sting says he has a message from Team Christian to Team Tomko – let’s not wait till Lockdown, let’s do it tonight. Tomko accepts the challenge.

I could do without the sparring sessions that we wrestling fans have been suffering through but it appeared to me that Tomko, with his size and build, would make a much better MMA wrestler than Kurt Angle.

Commercial break.

JB is backstage with Robert Roode and JB asks Roode that the match us is next and it will be Roode versus Booker T in a First Blood Match. Roode says that Booker’s plan isn’t going to work because at Lockdown, Roode will get Sharmell in the six sides of steel. Roode says that he wants Booker’s blood as bad as Booker wants his and at Lockdown, Roode wants Sharmell’s blood.

James Farrior of the Pittsburgh Steelers is in the audience.

First Blood Match

Robert Roode from Wall Street in Manhattan, NY

Vs.

Booker T from Houston, TX

Referee: Andrew Thomas

Booker doesn’t waste any time going after Roode when he hits the ring. It’s all Booker taking down Roode in the opening seconds of the match. Tenay says that tonight’s Main Event will be Team Tomko versus Christian Cage, an eight-man tag team match. In the ring, Booker is still manhandling Roode and then sends him over the top rope and down to the floor and we have

COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH!

THAT’S TWO!

Back to the match, Roode seems to be in charge of the match and Booker is down on the floor. No one is bleeding yet but Roode is doing everything he can to get Booker’s forehead to open up, including bringing a chair into the ring. Booker goes face first into the chair but Booker doesn’t bleed. Roode picks up the chair again and sets it up in the corner between the ropes. It backfires when Booker sends Roode back first into the chair. Both men back to their feet exchanging blows and Roode tries for the chair again but Booker gets the chair, sends it to Roode and Roode ducks Booker’s kick, then Roode nails Booker in the head with the chair. The referee says Booker isn’t bleeding, Roode goes after Booker with the chair, Booker moves out of the way, the chair hits the top rope and slams back into Roode’s face. Booker sends Roode back over the top rope and down to the floor. The ref is on the floor checking on Roode as Booker goes out after him. Roode isn’t bleeding and now the two men are battling it out on the floor. Booker catapults Roode into the ring post and the ref is down checking on Roode again. The ref says that Roode is bleeding and he is, but Booker doesn’t stop pounding on Roode until the ref makes him break it up.

Winner

Booker T

Robert Roode, the man we love to hate, is great not only when he’s wrestling but can certainly hold his own in a brawl. I am very impressed with the way Booker T has been handling himself during matches since he arrived in the TNA ring.

Crystal is backstage with Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed. Crystal says that the fans will be choosing who is facing Kong. Saeed says she will say what Kong has to say. Kong says it does not matter who the fans vote for or who the fans choose. Whoever the fans vote for, it will be a vote for defeat and construction. Kong will continue her path of destruction and will destroy all those in her way. Kong will show everyone tonight why she is champion.

Commercial break.

JB is backstage with Gail Kim and O.D.B. JB says that only 500 votes have separated the two of them. Tonight’s match against Kong will be O.D.B. and that match is next.

TNA Women’s Title Match

O.D.B. from Minneapolis, MN

Accompanied to the ring by her little silver flask

Challenger

Vs.

Awesome Kong residing in Tokyo, Japan

Champion

Accompanied to the ring by Raisha Saeed

Referee: Slick Johnson

ODB goes to work on Kong but I don’t think ODB has a chance against Awesome Kong. ODB is doing a good job of standing up to Kong but Kong always manages to get out of anything ODB comes up with. ODB almost got the three count but Kong comes up with her spinning back fist and the awesome bomb. Kong goes for the cover and gets the win.

Winner

Awesome Kong

Who retains the TNA Women’s Championship

As much as I enjoy watching O.D.B. in the ring, she just can’t seem to get over on Awesome Kong. Kong is a big girl and very strong. I’d like to see her face someone closer to her size.

Commercial break.

Crystal is backstage with Team Cage: Christian Cage, Rhino, Kevin Nash and Sting. Christian says that he has aligned himself the best politician in the business, Kevin Nash, Christian mends his friendship with Rhino and this week Christian brings in Sting as the final member of Team Cage.

Main Event

Eight man tag team match

Brother Ray

Brother Devon

Team 3D

Captain

Tomko

The Prince of Phenomenal AJ Styles

TNA Tag Team Champions

Vs.

The War Machine Rhino from Detroit, MI

Captain

The Instant Classic Christian Cage, from Tampa, FL by way of Ontario, Canada

Big Sexy Kevin Nash from Detroit, MI

Sting from Venice Beach, CA

Referee: Earl Hebner

It’s a nice touch to have Sting appear on the first live iMPACT. The fans are all about seeing Sting as he approaches the ring.

Brother Ray seems to have a problem with Sting before the match begins. Christian faces AJ as the bell rings. Christian is looking good and ready to do battle. I thought for a second I spoke too soon but Christian drops AJ and AJ tags in Tomko. Christian delivers a blow and then tags in Nash. Nash gets himself backed into a corner but Tomko is the one who gets caught in a side slam. Nash tags in Rhino and Tomko takes Rhino over to the other side of the ring before tagging in Ray. Devon comes in to help Ray after Ray tags him into the match. Rhino goes for a cover on Devon but Devon kicks out. Rhino gets sent into the wrong corner and he sends AJ and Tomko off the ring apron. That doesn’t stop Tomko and AJ from interfering in the match. Ray joins in before Rhino makes it back into the ring. The audience is calling for Sting but Rhino is down on the canvas and it doesn’t look good as Devon tags in Ray. Ray delivers a frog splash and goes for the pin but Rhino powers out. Ray tags in Tomko and Rhino is still on the wrong side of the ring. Tomko tags in Ray and Rhino is still down on the mat. Ray tags in AJ, Rhino is still down on the mat. AJ delivers a dropkick putting Rhino back down before tagging Ray back into the match. Ray delivers a few blows and tags in Devon before sending Rhino across the ring and into a ring post. Ray sends Devon across to deliver a squash but Rhino steps out of the way, Devon hits the turnbuckle and Rhino takes Ray down with a clothesline. Three men are down on the mat and Rhino is still a long way from his side of the ring. Rhino manages to tag in Sting and Sting takes on all four of Team Cage’s opponents. Sting has the Scorpion on AJ but Ray breaks it up. Now everyone is in the ring and the ref is having a problem getting control of the eight man in the ring. Sting has a cove on Tomko but Ray again breaks it up before delivering a 3D to Sting. Nash takes out Team 3D and then gets caught by Tomko. Tomko has Christian in the corner but Christian manages to deliver a DDT off the ropes. AJ comes off the top turnbuckle and takes out Christian. Sting is back to his feet and he has AJ up in the air and he tosses him out of the ring and onto Tomko who is on the floor. Sting has Devon in the Scorpion death lock and Devon, Nash, Rhino and Christian keep Devon’s teammates away and Devon taps out.

Winners

Team Cage

Sting

The Instant Classic Christian Cage

Big Sexy Kevin Nash

The War Machine Rhino

It was a little bit of a surprise but these four men worked well together in the ring. I was impressed with all of them and their work in the ring.

After the match, James Storm appears in the ring to take Sting out with a bottle to the back of the head. Now we have a beat down by Team Tomko and James Storm. Another surprise…when did Storm decide to align himself with Team Tomko?

TNA iMPACT !! / MARCH 20
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