Monday
Night Raw
February 4, 2008 – Recap by Sassy
If you saw Friday Night Smackdown you saw the match
between Rey Mysterio and CM Punk against Chavo Guerrero and Edge. It was a
decent match between these four wrestlers.
I’d like to see the same kind of action on Monday Night Raw this week.
Monday
Night Raw is broadcast from the University of Texas, Austin, TX
on
the USA network.
Ringside announcers: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
Ring announcer: Lillian Garcia
Backstage interviews: Todd Grisham
Lawler informs the audience that tonight John Cena will face
The World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry in an Arm Wrestling Contest. JR informs
the audience that Vince McMahon will force his son, Hornswoggle, to join
McMahon’s Kiss My Ass Club.
Randy Orton, WWE Champion, is in the center of the ring. I
believe we may have a contract-signing coming up. The audience gives Orton the usual hisses and boos welcome,
along with a few “you suck” chants. Orton has the mic, unfortunately, and he
says that he has an official WWE contract in his hands. He says that last week
John Cena accepted Orton’s challenge to face him at No Way Out instead of at
Wrestlemania. Orton says that Cena’s word means nothing to him and that is why
Orton wants it in writing so that Cena can’t back out in two weeks and there
is no way Cena can claim he isn’t fully recovered. Orton says that his lawyers
(the flakes in suits also in the ring) drew up the contract. Orton says that
Cena needs to come to the ring, have a seat and sign this contract.
John Cena makes his way to the arena and then down the
entrance ramp and to the ring. The audience is much more enthusiastic when Cena
enters. Did I mention last week how good Cena is looking these days?
Sorry female Cena fans. He
DID get married when he was out of WWE on medical leave.
Now we have Orton and Cena at the table in the center of the
ring. We have an audience on their feet as Cena sends a slap Orton’s way. The
audience proceeds to chant “Cena”. I’m
in total agreement with the Monday Night Raw audience tonight. Cena signs the
contract and slides it into Orton’s lap. Orton says he will see Cena in two
weeks but tonight Cena has an arm wrestling match with Henry tonight and even if
he gets injured during that match, Cena will still face Orton tonight.
Mark Henry charges down the ramp and Orton, the coward that
he is, delivers an RKO to a distracted John Cena while the referees prevent
Henry from entering the ring. May I just say Orton is the biggest coward I have
ever seen in WWE? Does he ever
wrestle – or does he just run?
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break, promo for The Legend of Stone
Cold Steve Austin available this month.
Mark Henry is backstage with Orton. And just when I was
starting to like Mark Henry! Todd asks them why they set Cena up and Orton says
that they did not set Cena up. Orton says that William Regal set up the match
between Henry and Cena. Orton says that as far as Henry coming out to ringside,
Orton didn’t need Henry’s help. Whatever,
Orton. Henry takes the mic and says that he is going to enjoy ripping Cena’s
arm right out of the socket.
Tag Team Match
Kelly Kelly from Jacksonville, FL
&
Mickie James from Richmond, VA
Vs.
Victoria from Los Angeles, CA
&
The Glamazon Beth Phoenix
Audience favorites: Kelly Kelly and Mickie James
My favorites: Mickie James, Victoria and Beth Phoenix
I think Mickie James and Kelly Kelly are in serious trouble
here. That’s the best partner
they could get for Mickie? Does Kelly understand she is the only woman in the
ring dressed for the local strip club? I
am hoping that soon Mickie will be able to take out Beth, but it doesn’t look
like she is going to be able to do it tonight. Victoria delivers a DDT to
Victoria and gets the cover and the three count. Beth is not happy about the
loss but she doesn’t go into the ring to help Victoria either.
Winners:
Mickie James & Kelly Kelly
General Manager William Regal is backstage with Hornswoggle.
He is telling Hornswoggle that he needs to do what his father tells him and the
he should be proud to be a member of “this club”. Regal is a member.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break.
HBK Shawn Michaels enters the ring. JR says that there will
be no DX reunion tonight because Triple H will not be in the arena due to a
family emergency. HBK takes the mic – CAN WE GET SOME WRESTLING HERE???
– and HBK tells the audience that last year at the Royal Rumble he almost
eliminated The Undertaker but he made it to the main event at Wrestlemania
anyway. He didn’t beat John Cena for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania. HBK
says that he hates second place and he doesn’t want to be second place. HBK is
putting everyone in the Elimination Chamber on notice. HBK says that at No Way
Out and then Y2J Chris Jericho who will also be in the Elimination Chamber Match
at No Way Out interrupts him. Jericho is going to tell the audience that he does
respect HBK. Jericho says that Jericho will win the Elimination Chamber Match at
No Way Out because Jericho has been in three Elimination Chamber Matches and he
knows what it takes to make it to Wrestlemania. No offense, guys, but WHAT
ABOUT WRESTLING NOW??? And Jeff Hardy makes his way to the arena.
He will also be in the Elimination Chamber Match at No Way Out. I’m
sure Jeff is here to tell us that he will win the Elimination Chamber Match and
go to Wrestlemania. Jeff says it is great that HBK and Jericho want to get back
to Wrestlemania, but Jeff has never been in a main event at Wrestlemania and
Jeff will sacrifice his body to get to levels where he has never been before.
Yep, Jeff says he is going to win the match and then John Bradshaw Layfield who
manages to make it to the ring minus his limo interrupts him.
He walked! HBK, Jericho and
Jeff got kudos from the audience. JBL,
who is from Texas by the way, is greeted with loud boos. JBL stands on the ring
apron. He does not enter the ring
but he does tell everyone that he will be the one who win the Elimination
Chamber Match and that Umaga, even though he doesn’t speak English, he does
speak money and he will ensure that JBL comes out the winner at No Way Out.
Umaga decides it is time to come to the ring. We can only hope he is there to
shut JBL the hell up! JBL applauds Umaga’s arrival and Umaga does enter the
ring with the other three wrestlers. JBL sneaks in behind Umaga and hides behind
him. Umaga turns to JBL and JBL looks a little confused. Snitsky enters the
arena and heads toward the ring. He
does not look happy as he glares at the other wrestlers in the ring. Snitsky
says they have all had their chances and Snitsky deserves to be in the
Elimination Match. If he doesn’t get one of their spots, he will just have to
take it. HBK says Snitsky doesn’t deserve anything. HB goes after
Snitsky and we have a brawl in the middle of the ring. Jericho goes after JBL
and Jeff goes after Umaga.
William Regal enters the arena and says it will be Snitsky,
JBL and Umaga against Jericho, Hardy and HBK. It’s about time SOMEONE decides
we should have an actual match.
Promo for No Way Out, John Cena versus Randy Orton for the
WWE Championship. No Way Out is in two weeks, live, on pay per view. See your
local cable company for further details or go to www.wwe.com.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break.
Mr. Kennedy from Green Bay, WI, weighing 243 lbs.
Vs.
Super Crazy weighing 200 lbs.
Super Crazy was already in the ring when we got back from
commercial break, but Lillian introduced him after Kennedy entered the ring.
Audience favorite: I’m
not sure
My favorite: I like them both
Super Crazy hasn’t been in the ring much on Raw and I’m
not sure why. He is a very good wrestler and is a risk taker. Kennedy is working
on Super Crazy’s left leg. I’m disappointed we aren’t having a real match
here. Kennedy applies an inverted figure four and Super Crazy is forced to tap
out.
Winner
Mr.
Kennedy
That match was terrible. I was not impressed and the fact
that Kennedy is getting his mic from the ceiling after the match does not make
it any better. Super Crazy had the fan approval in this match and the fans
aren’t interested in what Kennedy has to say. We see a recap of the match
between M.V.P. and Ric Flair on last Friday Night’s Smackdown when MVP lost
due to DQ. Kennedy is making fun of Flair and that certainly isn’t winning him
over with the Monday Night Raw fans. Kennedy tells Flair that Kennedy will give
him an opportunity to come out next week on Raw and forfeit their match at No
Way Out. Kennedy says that if Flair decides to continue with their match at No
Way Out, not only will Kennedy end Flair’s career, Flair will limp for the
rest of his life.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break, Mike Adamle is out in the
audience to talk about No Way Out and the Elimination Chamber Match which
features Y2J Chris Jericho, John Bradshaw Layfield, HBK Shaw Michaels, Jeff
Hardy, The Game Triple H, and Umaga. The winner of this match will face the WWE
Champion in a title match at Wrestlemania. We see a rundown of the elimination
chamber.
Tag Team Match
Santino Marella
&
Carlito
At a combined weight of 447 lbs.
Accompanied to the ring by Maria
Vs.
Brian Kendrick
&
Paul London
At a combined weight of 382 lbs.
Audience favorites: I’m not sure
My favorites: I like them all
Paul London has been out with an injured foot but he appears
to be off the disabled list and back in action. JR mentions that London lives in
Austin, TX. Marella does a great job of running from London outside the ring but
Carlito manages to get the cover and the three count inside the ring.
Winners
Carlito
&
Santino
Marella
I have to say it. This
match wasn’t worth watching.
McMahon is backstage and he busy getting his backside
polished. Sorry, that’s what it looks like. This is as bad as the last match.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break, promo for ECW, Tuesday night on
Sci-Fi.
McMahon enters the ring. Give me a break, wrestling fans. I
only watch this stuff to write about it. I
have am definitely an anti-WWE fan these days. McMahon has the mic and he says
that he has set an example of how employees should be treated. Hornswoggle
should be talking to Orton’s attorneys over this. McMahon tells the audience
that as parents they are pathetic and they don’t care about their children.
If I had a small child right now, McMahon, they
wouldn’t be watching this stuff. I can guaran-damn-tee you that! McMahon says that every
parent should make their kids kiss their ass. It says that’s tough love.
I call it sick. McMahon introduces his bastard son, Hornswoggle.
Hornswoggle enters the ring to the cheers of the fans.
Hornswoggle should be kicking McMahon’s ass, not kissing it.
And I am a parent. McMahon gets down on one knee to talk to Hornswoggle
and that it will hurt McMahon more than it hurts Hornswoggle. The audience
disagrees with McMahon. Hornswoggle is having a problem doing what he is told
and the audience is telling him not to do it. And it’s Finlay to the rescue.
Finlay comes down the ramp and to the ring making McMahon
pull up his pants in a hurry. Finlay is not happy with McMahon and McMahon gives
Finlay a hard time about loyalty and friendship. McMahon tells Finlay that after
Hornswoggle, Finlay can kiss his ass. Finlay holds Hornswoggle back and McMahon
says if Finlay knows what it good for him, he will let Hornswoggle go. Finlay
doesn’t listen and he backs Hornswoggle up as McMahon bends over. McMahon
threatens Finlay and then Hornswoggle. Instead Hornswoggle takes a bite out of
McMahon’s bared backside and Finlay takes Hornswoggle and leaves the arena
laughing.
McMahon is mad that the crowd is laughing at him and he says
that since they like that next week McMahon will be in action against his
bastard son, Hornswoggle. McMahon says that it is the fault of the audience. If
Finlay gets involved in that match, Finlay will be fired.
Replay of what just happened between Hornswoggle and McMahon
with a little help from Finlay.
JR reminds the audience about the six-man tag team match
coming up tonight.
Tag Team Match
Hardcore Holly
&
Cody Rhodes
At a combined weight of 452 lbs.
WWE World Tag Team Champions
Vs.
Lance Cade
&
Trevor Murdoch
At a combined weight of 532 lbs.
Audience favorites: I’m not sure
My favorites: I like them all
Winners
Cody
Rhodes
&
Hardcore
Holly
After the match, Carlito, Marella and Maria enter the arena.
Carlito says that he and Marella are the next contenders for the tag team
titles.
Lawler reminds the audience that Cena will face Henry in an
arm wrestling match.
Promo for No Way Out, Elimination Chamber Match.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break, promo
for Project Runway with the Divas from WWE.
Plug for No Way Out by JR and
Lawler.
Six Man Tag Team Match
Jeff Hardy from Cameron, NC,
weighing 225 lbs.
WWE Intercontinental Champion
&
HBK Shawn Michaels from San
Antonio, TX
&
Y2J Chris Jericho weighing 226
lbs.
Commercial break before the
opponents are introduced.
Back from commercial break, promo
for ECW on Tuesday night (which is tomorrow if you haven’t checked your
calendar).
Vs.
Snitsky
&
John Bradshaw Layfield
&
Umaga from the Isle of Samoa,
weighing 350 lbs.
Snitsky and JBL were already at
ringside when we got back from commercial break.
Audience favorites: Jeff Hardy,
Shawn Michaels & Chris Jericho
My favorites: Jeff Hardy, Shawn
Michaels, Chris Jericho and Umaga
COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE MATCH!
AGAIN!
Winners
Jeff
Hardy
HBK
Shawn Michaels
&
Y2J
Chris Jericho
I apologize but I missed the arm
wrestling contest between John Cena and The World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry.
WWE SMACKDOWN / FEBRUARY 1
Wrestling Bodyslam . Com