January 17, 2008 – Recap by Sassy

Previously on iMPACT, Awesome Kong has become TNA Women’s Champion, Ms. Brooks has been replaced in Robert Roode, Inc. by Ms. Peyton Banks, Sharmell’s injury caused by Roode at Final Resolution, Shark Boy’s match last week against Tomko, Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe’s feud that has been ongoing since the December pay per view, Team 3D and Johnny Devine’s challenge to the Motor City Machineguns and Black Machismo Jay Lethal at Against All Odds in February, AJ Styles switch to the side of the Angle Alliance, helping Angle take Christian out during the championship match at Final Resolution.

The match tonight between AJ Styles, Samoa Joe and Christian Cage for the title shot at Against All Odds. If Joe or Christian wins the match, they get a shot at the championship belt. If AJ wins he can either take the championship shot or he can give Angle a couple of months off before he has to defend the title.

“A Fish Out Of Water”

JB is in the parking lot greeting Kurt Angle, Angle’s Mrs., and Prince AJ Styles. JB is upset because he didn’t know there were supposed to wear tuxedos but Angle reminds JB that he is an announcer and not a part of the Angle Alliance. Showtime Eric Young breaks in to ask Angle if he has told everyone that Santa Claus and Shrek are one and the same and that they now will get more presents. Angle tells Eric Santa Clause came with them and they shove him into the limo and lock the doors. Angle says it’s a special night because when AJ wins the triple threat match tonight, Angle will not have to defend his title until Lockdown in April.

Welcome to the iMPACT Zone!

iMPACT is being broadcast from Universal Studio, Orlando, FL, on Spike TV.

Ringside announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West

Ring announcer: David Penzer

Backstage interviews: Crystal Loutham and Jeremy Borash

Ring valet: SoCal Val

Mike Tenay tells the audience that tonight on iMPACT, they will see the triple threat match. West reminds the audience that tonight Father James Mitchell will finally reveal the secret that Abyss also known as Chris Parks has been hiding.

Black Machismo Jay Lethal, Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley of the Motor City Machineguns enter the arena to answer the challenge issued last week on iMPACT by Team 3D and Johnny Devine. Shelley says that last week they heard Team 3D issue a challenge to the Motor City Machismoguns. Team 3D has said that if they beat Team 3D during a hardcore street fight, the X Division will have to disband. Shelley reminds Lethal that he beat Angle and won the X Division title. Shelley says that if the three of them win the street fight match, they are going to start a weight division. The weight limit will be 275 lbs. There will be weekly weigh ins to make sure fat slobs do not…and they are interrupted by Brother Ray who has entered the arena with Brother Devon and Johnny Devine.

Ray says that he weighs 275. Ray says Devon is a little over 300 but that is only because he is training for the Mr. Olympia. Ray says that his Brother Devon’s traps are bigger than Awesome Kong’s (bleep). Ray says that Devon could be a male model on the cover of Jet magazine because he is so good looking. Ray, Devon and Devine enter the ring to get the answer of Shelley. Ray wants to shake on the deal but the fans don’t think it’s a good idea. The three X Division members get together to talk about it. They do shake hands but Sabin, Shelley and Lethal go after them when they try to leave the ring. We have an early street fight with Matt Morgan showing up at ringside trying to break it up.

Crystal is backstage with Abyss and she reminds Abyss that Father James Mitchell will reveal the secret that Abyss has refused to tell. Abyss says the secret emerges tonight over his own dead body. The revelation will mark the end of Father James Mitchell and Judas Mesias.

Promo for TNA: Global iMPACT, after tonight’s iMPACT on Spike TV.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break. promo for Against All Odds, TNA’s pay per view, which will be held at the Bi-Lo Center in Greenville, SC on February 10, 2008.

Replay of the handshake between Team 3D, Devine, Motor City Machineguns and Lethal before the commercial break.

Tenay reminds the audience that tonight there will be the triple threat match for Number One Contender for TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match and that Mitchell will tell the secret Abyss has been hiding.

West tells the audience about the injuries that Shark Boy has received. It began when he was attacked by Team 3D, then Judas Mesias, Black Reign and Rellik, Christopher Daniels, and last week Tomko. The match with Tomko last week was requested by Shark Boy. He was taken out last week on a stretcher after that match. Shark Boy is at home with Shark Boy along with a nurse and a doctor to care for him. JB says he has been in a coma since the match with Tomko.

Tomko from Jacksonville, FL

One half of the TNA Tag Team Champions


Showtime Eric Young, Residing at an Undisclosed Location

Referee: Slick Johnson

Eric is still in the limo with The Guru Sonjay Dutt standing outside and telling him to open the door and get out of the limo. Eric enters the arena with his Drinking Championship Belt. Cowboy James Storm actually won the Drinking Championship Series at Final Resolution.

Tomko is getting a big push from the audience but Eric doesn’t appear to be intimidated by the large wrestler. Eric breaks free of the first hold by Tomko and Eric is very proud of himself as is the audience. It doesn’t last long for Tomko to get another hold on Eric and Eric manages to pick Tomko up off the floor and deliver the fall away slam. Clothesline by Tomko, cover and the match is over.

Winner: Tomko

Short match, but not a bad opening match for iMPACT. I think Tomko surprised everyone by sticking up for Showtime Eric Young. Nice touch, Tomko.

After the match is over, Cowboy James Storm enters the ring, followed by Miss Jackie Moore. Storm takes Eric down to the mat while Tomko is standing on the ropes for the audience. Storm goes after the DSC belt and gets in a downed Eric’s face. Storm offers Tomko a beer and Tomko takes the beer from Storm, takes a drink, delivers a boot to Storm’s midsection and throws him over the top rope and to the floor. Tomko picks up the belt and the beer and hands them both to Eric Young.

Crystal is backstage with The Instant Classic Christian Cage. He says that Tomko said he wasn’t going to pick a side and that was fine which is unlike what AJ Styles did by stabbing Christian in the back. Christian says he will walk out of the triple threat match the number one contender.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, Crystal was asked to take Dustin Rhodes to the workshop of his alternate personality Black Reign. Dustin doesn’t seem to be too eager to enter the room and as soon as they enter, Dustin is screaming and falls on the floor and the camera goes back to the ring.

O.D.B. from Minneapolis, MN

Accompanied to the ring by her little silver flask


Angelina Love from Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Referee: Earl Hebner

O.D.B. is one of my favorites in the women’s wrestling division. She appears to be just as popular with the live audience. Tenay and West remind the audience that her initials stand for One Dirty Bitch. Love spent a lot of time getting her hair done but it doesn’t take O.D.B. long to make it look like Love just got out of bed. Love does a decent job in the ring but O.D. B. is one tough wrestler. Running power slam, cover and a three count.

Winner: O.D. B.

O.D.B. has the mic and she is talking to Awesome Kong. She says that Kong has beaten every woman in TNA but Kong has not beaten O.D.B. O.D.B. wants to meet Kong at Against All Odds for the TNA Women’s Title.

Crystal is backstage at the locker room door of Kevin Nash. She starts to open the door and Nash is talking to someone and he asks Crystal to give him a minute. He is talking to Samoa Joe about his triple threat match tonight for the title shot.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, promo for TNA Genesis 2007 on DVD, available now.

Tenay tells the audience they are getting another update on Shark Boy. And while Shark Boy is in bed, guess who is next to his bedside? Wildcat Chris Harris. Wildcat says that he has resorted to getting TNA airtime by hanging out with a bunch of sharks. JB says that is a dire situation and Wildcat wants to know how Shark Boy got all of this TV time and asks if Shark Boy’s last name is Angle now. Enter Hernandez and Homicide along with Salinas to visit the injured Shark Boy.

Senshi from Brooklyn, NY


Kaz from Anaheim, CA

Referee: Rudy Charles

Accompanied to the ring by Marlene the Mouse (which was previously known as Black Reign’s Artic fox, Misty, which isn’t an Artic fox, she’s a domestic rat, and she STILL shouldn’t be at ringside!)

As much as I like Kaz in the ring, Senshi is just as talented as Kaz. Kaz has his hands full in this match up as Senshi shows the audience why they call him The Warrior. It is a little irritating because instead of calling this match, Tenay and West are busy hawking the triple threat match. WHY ARE YOU IGNORING THE ACTION IN THE RING? Both of these wrestlers use their feet in the greatest ways and Kaz shows Senshi the wave of the future, goes for the cover and gets the three count.

Winner: Kaz

As the bell rings and Kaz gets to his feet, he is attacked by Black Reign who has entered the ring. Black Reign delivers a blow to Kaz with the weapon he is carrying and then goes to get Misty. He kneels down beside Kaz with the carrier, opens it, and then discovers that Misty is not inside. He nails Kaz in the head with the cage and again beats on Kaz. Security enters the ring to pull Black Reign off of Kaz.

JB is in the back with Father James Mitchell and Judas Mesias. JB reminds Mitchell that he promised to reveal Abyss’s secret. Mitchell says that tonight he will reveal the secret that has been kept for over 20 years. Mitchell tells Chris that tonight is the night.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, promo for TNA: Global iMPACT, coming up tonight on Spike TV after iMPACT.

JB is backstage with AJ styles and AJ says he is going to ask Tomko what he should do when he wins the triple threat match tonight. AJ wants to know if he should take a shot at the title when he wins the match or if he should give Angle two months off. Tomko says that AJ won the TNA Tag Team Title without Angle and he can win the TNA Heavyweight Title without Angle. Tomko says it is time for AJ to do what AJ wants to do and that AJ should make a choice. JB asks AJ what he is going to do now and AJ says he doesn’t know and walks off.

Lance Hoyt from Dallas, TX

Accompanied to the ring by Jimmy Rave


The Monster Abyss, 6’8”, 350 lbs.

Referee: Slick Johnson

Lance must have made someone angry to catch this match up. Abyss is busy looking around the arena for Mitchell. Lance charges but Abyss doesn’t give him a chance and delivers a clothesline that sends Lance out of the ring. Rave enters the ring and Abyss picks him up and tosses him over the top rope.

Mitchell appears at the top of the entrance ramp and tells Abyss that he needs to tell everyone the secret. Abyss shakes his head no but Mitchell says the world will find out anyway and he takes a cameraman with him backstage. Lance tries to catch Abyss off guard but it doesn’t work and when Rave gets up on the ring apron to interfere, Abyss sends him down to the floor again. Lance does pick Abyss up and slam him to the mat and then climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Abyss rolls out of the way, Lance hits the mat. Abyss picks Lance up and delivers the black hole slam, going for the cover and getting the win.

Winner: The Monster Abyss

Mitchell appears on the monitor before Abyss can exit the ring. He tells Abyss it is time for the secret to come out once and for all. He tells Abyss not even to waste his time because he will never find him and even if he could, the secret would be out before he got there. Mitchell reminds Abyss that he sat by and let his mother shoot his unarmed defenseless father. Mitchell says that no matter how much Abyss hides and runs and changes his name to his mother’s maiden name of Parks, Abyss cannot erase the fact that he betrayed his own father. Abyss’s last name is not Parks, it is Mitchell, and Father James Mitchell is his father.


Abyss is on his knees in the middle of the ring and we go to

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, replay of Father James Mitchell telling the world that Abyss is Father James Mitchell’s son. Tenay tells the audience they are trying to get a camera crew in place to get a reaction from Abyss.

Crystal is backstage following Abyss around but she can’t get an answer from him.

Robert Roode from Wall Street in Manhattan, NY

Accompanied to the ring by Peyton Banks

Replay of last week’s attack of Ms. Brooks by Banks.


The Guru Sonjay Dutt from Bombay, India

Referee: Earl Hebner

Sonjay goes for a kiss from SoCal Val but she evades the kiss. He gives her a little “pat” instead.

Sonjay needs to stop hugging his opponents before he really gets hurt. Sonjay can do a great job in the ring and I’m not sure why TNA insists on keeping him in matches that are not his style. Tenay tells the audience that Sharmell is out of the hospital and at home in Houston, TX. Sonjay does get to deliver a nice dive on Roode outside of the ring. As Roode gets back in the ring, however, Banks decides to grab Sonjay by the leg as he gets up on the ring apron. Roode delivers a blow that sends Sonjay back down to the floor. Roode goes out of the ring and rolls Sonjay back in but Ms. Brooks is coming down the entrance ramp and heading for the ring. The ref gets out of the ring to order Ms. Brooks back out of the arena.  And we go to

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, promo for

TNA Schedule:

January 25, Hobart Arena, Troy, OH

January 26, Eastwood Expo Center, Youngstown, OH

In the ring, Roode goes for a cover but can’t get the three count. Ms. Brooks is staring down Banks on the opposite side of the ring as Sonjay sends a boot to Roode’s head. Sonjay is doing a great job in the ring, a dive off the rope and a two count before Roode powers out. Roode hits the payoff and gets the three count.

Winner: Robert Roode

After the match, Peyton Banks enters the ring to raise Roode’s hand. He taunts Ms. Brooks and she enters the ring and we have a cat fight while Roode distracts the referee. Ms. Brooks slaps Roode and then spears Banks and we have a two on one with Banks and Roode. As the try to continue, Matt enters the ring and puts a stop to the beat down of Ms. Brooks.

JB is with AJ and Angle’s Mrs. JB wants to know what AJ’s decision is if he wins the triple threat chance tonight. It seems as though AJ doesn’t’ have any brain cells or that perhaps his brain cells are below his belt at the present time.

Crystal is backstage with BG James, Kip James and Roxxi Laveaux of the Voodoo Kin Mafia. BG tells Kip that his new partner is on his way to the arena right now. BG tells Kip to trust him on this one.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, promo for TNA Global iMPACT.

JB is with Shark Boy at the 24 hour bed watch and Angelina Love and Velvet Sky enter to visit Shark Boy. The girls proceed to give him mouth to mouth but another shark gets in the way.

VKM is in the ring. Kip is not happy about BG having another partner especially since Kip handed BG a title shot and they have been partners for 10 years. BG tells Kip he has given Kip 10 of the best years of his life and Kip is going to shut up and give BG 10 minutes of his time. BG says ever since he has been small, he has had a hero and his hero is a wrestler too and one of BG’s dreams is to stand in the ring with that hero. And BG introduces his partner for the tag team title match:  Bullet Bob Armstrong. Bob enters the ring and holds out his hand to Kip but Kip shakes his head and hugs Bob instead.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, promo for Against All Odds in February.

Back to the shark tank for Shark Boy’s condition. JB says that things do not look good and Showtime Eric Young appears to tell Shark Boy he has to fight like all good fishes fight:  Nemo, Charlie, Eric’s own fish, the Big Tuna, Sponge Bob, and Jaws. Shark Boy’s eyes open and they ask if Shark Boy has something to say: “Well, hell yeah, the next time you stick that thermometer up my ass there’s going to be hell to pay you son of a bitch” (Shark Boy is speaking to his doctor) and that’s the bottom line cause Shark Boy says so – as Eric says “Holy Mackerel!”

Tenay says next week there will be footage of Brock Lesnar as he trains for his UFC debut plus Angle will address Lesnar’s move to MMA.

Kurt Angle enters the arena and the ring with a mic and the chants of “you suck” from the live audience. Angle is there to brag about getting time off when AJ wins the triple threat match and then to plug Global iMPACT where Angle will be defending his other world title in Japan against a Japanese wrestler.

Crystal is in Jim Cornette’s office with Cornette, Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner and Maple Leaf Muscle Petey Williams. Cornette is telling Scott that the X Division is not about size, it’s a totally different thing. Cornette tells Scott that it is his opportunity to go out and be the best. Scott says that he is the best and he again trades briefcases with Petey. Cornette tells Petey “What did I tell you? I can bring a tear to a glass eye”.

3 Way Elimination Match

The Phenomenal AJ Styles from Gainesville, GA

One half of the TNA Tag Team Champions


Samoan Submission Machine from American Samoa


The Instant Classic Christian Cage from Tampa, FL by way of Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Referee: Rudy Charles

The audience seems to be split with half cheering for Joe and half cheering for Christian. AJ was met by a loud chorus of boos. AJ is definitely not the favorite in this match.

Christian immediately starts on AJ as Joe just stands back and watches before going after AJ as well. Now it’s a double team on AJ, sending him out to the floor before Christian and Joe lock up in the ring. AJ grabs Christian by the leg and drags him out of the ring to beat on him. Joe goes out after AJ but AJ gets back in the ring and dives after Joe. Joe gets a leg up and stops AJ on his way out of the ring. Christian goes up and dives down on AJ, taking him down to the floor. You have to admit Christian doesn’t have a problem flying. Joe this time manages to complete his suicide dive taking down AJ and Christian, and we go to


A promo for TNA: Global iMPACT?  Haven’t we seen a half dozen of those promos already?




Back from commercial break, Joe and AJ are in the ring and Joe seems to have the upper hand. The camera pans to Christian who is out on the floor.

And instead of calling the match, Tenay is telling everyone about



Joe is now out of the ring and Christian has a submission hold on Christian but Joe makes it to the ring apron. Christian knocks him off the apron ring but Joe is back in the ring and he goes for the muscle buster. Christian manages to get out of that, but he walks into the rear naked choke. AJ gets knocked down off the top turnbuckle and to the floor as the ref has been hit inadvertently in the ring. Joe manages to get the rear naked choke and AJ gets in the ring with a chair. The two manage to miss getting nailed by the chair but when they get back to their feet, AJ nails Joe in the abdomen with the chair and then waits for Christian to turn around. AJ nails Christian on the head with the steel chair, but Joe hits AJ with a dropkick that sends the chair into AJ’s face. Now Joe has the chair as he waits for AJ to get to his feet. The ref is on his feet and as Joe throws the chair out of the ring, the ref DQ’s Joe and eliminates him from the match. As Joe chases the ref outside of the ring and has him by the shirt, Matt appears and tells Joe he has to leave the arena. Nash appears at ringside and he is trying to calm Joe down and GUESS WHAT?


Back from commercial break, promo for TNA: Global iMPACT! One more commercial break and we’ll be in the MIDDLE OF TNA: Global iMPACT!

Samoa Joe has been eliminated thanks to AJ Styles and his steel chair. It is now down to AJ Styles and The Instant Classic Christian Cage – and PLEASE let Christian win this match! AJ goes for the cover but he can’t get the three count. Christian is still down on the mat and he’s pounding on Christian’s face with his fist. Christian is back to his feet and he’s fighting back but AJ hits him with spine buster. AJ gets a two count but Christian gets a shoulder up at the count of two. Christian is back to his feet and he has AJ down on the mat. And Tenay reminds the audience that right after iMPACT it will be TNA Global iMPACT…as Christian comes off the top turnbuckle with a frog splash. AJ rolls out of the way and Christian meets the mat as West tells us the same thing TENAY ALREADY TOLD US – CALL THE MATCH! Christian hits AJ with an inverted DDT and gets a two count before AJ gets a shoulder up. Christian nails AJ with a power bomb and again gets a two count. Christian’s lip is bleeding and he’s telling AJ to get up. AJ back to his feet and he goes for the unprettier, but AJ reverses the move and nails Christian with a peleg. AJ doesn’t go for the cover. He goes out to the ring apron and climbs up to the top turnbuckle to dive off but Christian is back to his feet and he gets out of the way. AJ lands on the mat. And rolls but Christian catches AJ with a spear and goes for the cover but he still can’t get the three count. AJ tries to sends Christian out to the floor but Christian lands on the ring apron and nails AJ with a shoulder block. Christian goes up to the top but gets caught by AJ who sends Christian down to the mat. AJ climbs to the top and dives off but Christian rolls out of the way and as soon as AJ hits the mat, Christian goes for the cover and gets a two count. Christian goes up to the top turnbuckle again and goes off for a frog splash but AJ gets his knees up and catches Christian in the midsection. AJ first to his feet and he goes for the unprettier, but Christian blocks it and delivers his own unprettier and goes for the cover to get the three cont.

Winner: The Instant Classic Christian Cage

YES! Not to be overly enthusiastic or anything…

And that all folks.  Unless, of course, you are going to watch TNA Global iMPACT which is coming up next!

And I spoke too soon. 

Next week on iMPACT, find out who was the best in 2007 as TNA reveals the year end awards as voted by the fans.

We follow up with

Global iMPACT

This one hour special follows Tomko (and his tag team partner, Giant Bernard – they hold the tag team titles in Japan), the Steiner Brothers, Team 3D, Petey Williams, AJ Styles, Christian, Abyss and Kurt Angle in Tokyo, Japan. The show took place in the Tokyo Dome. The only match shown its entirety was Kurt Angle, IWRG Champion versus Yuji Nagata. Angle won the match and retained his title. It was the best match with Kurt Angle I have seen in quite some time.

The show appeared to be a plug for the DVD that TNA is releasing of the TNA Japan tour. 



TNA Wrestling . Com
Wrestling Bodyslam . Com