iMPACT

December 13, 2007

Recap by Sassy

Comments by Sassy in italics.

Pssst! I heard a rumor...

Judas Mesias will be in the iMPACT Zone tonight!

Breaking News

According to the latest reports, Senshi and Ron Killings have asked for and been granted their release from Total Nonstop Action wrestling. It is our understanding there may be others ready to follow these two talents out the door.

According to a TNA Mobile Text Alert Karen Angle had an accident when she was exiting the ring at last night’s TNA taping. No, that ‘s not tonight, this particular show will be shown a couple of weeks from now. It is our understanding that she suffered a broken ankle.

Previously on iMPACT (they must be doing these openings for soap opera fans who missed the show last week)…Kurt Angle and The Instant Classic Christian Cage are in a battle regarding Angle stealing AJ Styles and Tomko from the Christian Coalition in order to build an Angle Alliance. If you watched last week’s show, you know that Robert Roode, bringing along Ms. Brooks, has joined the Angle Alliance and Christian is now on his own.

I guess this episode is titled “Christian’s Revenge”. No, wrestling fans, I did not make that up.  It was on a black screen in bright red/orange lettering before the opening of the show.

WELCOME TO THE iMPACT ZONE!

iMPACT is being broadcast from Orlando, FL on Spike TV.

Ringside announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West

Ring Announcer: David Penzer

Backstage interviews: Jeremy Borash and Crystal Loutham

Ring valet: So Cal Val

Tenay tells us the TNA Knockouts will be in action.  Black Machismo Jay Lethal will face Johnny Devine in a lumberjack strap match and Father James Mitchell will have a showdown with The Monster Abyss.

West tells us the cases for Feast or Fired will be opened tonight – it’s only been a couple of weeks since the Turning Point pay per view where the cases were actually won – and we should know who gets a title shot at the X-Division title, who gets a title shot at the Tag Team titles, and who gets a shot at the World Heavyweight title. But wait! TNA has found a way to drag this out even MORE!  Tonight the four winners of the case (minus Senshi who lost his briefcase to The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels in a match last week) will be in matches to decide whether they want to keep his case, trade his case, or pocket $50,000.00. By now, most of the fans that paid to see Turning Point don’t care. West tells us that no matter what, somebody is getting fired.

The Instant Classic Christian Cage enters the arena and makes his way to the ring all by himself mic in hand. Christian is here to tell us that everyone is saying that Christian Cage got exactly what he deserved last week on iMPACT, that he deserved to get sucker punched by Angle and that he deserved to get beat down by Roode. Christian says that he agrees that he deserved it. Christian wants everyone to know that he is a brick and that every time he gets beat down, he will always get up and continue to be a **** (got bleeped out).  Christian says that is what made him a star and that is what makes him Christian and what makes the fans “just you”. The fans retaliate with a rousing chorus of “you suck”. Christian tells the fans that he is the champ. Tonight there will be a tag team match and it will be Roode and Angle against Christian and a partner of his choice. Christian tells Angle that TNA is not big enough for the two of them. Angle enters the arena, followed by the Mrs. and Robert Roode. Angle asks Christian if he ever shuts up (the audience provides a loud boo here). Suddenly Christian isn’t hated so much by the fans. Angle tells Christian he dares him to go backstage and find a tag team partner because no one at TNA likes Christian. Angle says that TNA isn’t big enough for the two of them. Angle says that this is the era of the Angle Alliance, Angle is a general and Christian is nothing but a private (who writes this garbage?). Angle says that Christian will take orders from Angle. Christian asks Angle if he heard him right and that Angle was going to give orders. Christian says Angle can’t even keep his wife in check – tell it like it is Christian! Roode has to have his turn at the mic and he’s getting a worse script than Angle had! Roode tells Christian to go backstage and find a partner if he can.

JB is backstage with AJ Styles and Tomko. JB asks AJ if he saw this turning out this way. AJ says he thought they could all get along together. AJ asks Tomko where they went wrong. Tomko tells AJ he went wrong when he became Dion Sanders and was playing for both teams. Tomko said they had a good captain, Christian, until AJ decided that he wanted to trade sides. AJ asks Tomko what he wants to do and Tomko says they need to get rid of the two sides.

Tenay tells us Booker T will be in action tonight and then reviews the history of Feast or Fired.

Four men won briefcases at the Feast or Fired match at Turning Point:

Senshi

Petey Williams

BG James

Scott Steiner

*Actually Kip James got the case but he was surrounded inside the ring by other wrestlers. BG was playing injured out on the floor and Kip threw the briefcase to BG.

Last week on iMPACT, Petey Williams and Scott Steiner didn’t seem to have any issues with their wins. BG James was not sure that he wanted to keep Kip as a partner and Roxxi Laveaux told him the case was cursed. Christopher Daniels claimed the briefcase was his because he was the leader which initiated a match between Senshi and Daniels with the winner getting the case. Daniels won the match and Senshi lost the briefcase.

Crystal is backstage with Petey and asks him about the upcoming match he has tonight with the other three winners of the briefcases. Petey is busy working on building his muscles. Crystal wants to know what he will do if he wins. Petey says that TNA will have to do a lot better than fifty grand because he can win more than that in a bodybuilding contest. Petey says he is one hundred and ten percent sure his case has a World Heavyweight Championship match shot. Crystal wants to know how he can be so sure and Petey says that Canadians have a sense for things like this. Petey says as sure as his body fat is 1.9%, he has the case with the world title shot.

Four Way Feast, Fired or Fifty Thousand Dollar Match

The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels from the City of Angels

Vs.

BG James representing the Voodoo Kin Mafia

accompanied to the ring by Kip James and Roxxi Laveaux

And before anyone else can be introduced, we are back at the announcer’s table with Hermie Sadler who is once again sitting at the announcer’s table (he was there last week, too).

Vs.

Maple Leaf Muscle Petey Williams from Ontario, Canada

Vs.

Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner from Detroit, MI

Referee: Andrew Thomas

Winner: Scott Steiner

X Division Title Championship shot.

COMMERCIAL BREAK BEFORE THE MATCH STARTS!

I can’t believe they are doing a different match with the same briefcases that they started off with at Turning Point. I have read numerous complaints from fans that felt they were cheated when the cases weren’t opened immediately after being won after the Turning Point match. I’m afraid I have to agree. All the hype for a match and we still don’t know how it ends.

Back from commercial break, the bell rings and it’s Daniels taking on Scott and Petey taking on BG. BG goes out of the ring and Kip throws him back in and then we hear a (bleep) but I don’t know if it was BG or Kip that was swearing. Petey and Scott are now facing off in the ring and Petey is showing Scott his muscles. Scott shows Petey his muscles.  As they are discussing their perfect bodies, BG enters the ring but Petey and Scott hit him with a double clothesline and then Daniels is in the ring, but Scott sends him crashing to the mat before dropping an elbow on Daniels. Scott goes for the pin but then decides to stop and do a few push ups. Petey comes along behind Scott and drops an elbow on Daniels before doing a few push ups of his own. Scott looks a little irritated or a little confused, I’m not sure which. Daniels is getting back to his feet so Scott decides to work on him as Petey goes after BG on the opposite side of the ring. Scott sends Daniels out on the floor but BG gets across the ring and sends Scott out to the floor after Daniels. Daniels sends Scott into the ring post outside as Petey delivers a jaw breaker and then a high kick to BG sending him back down to the mat. Petey stops to show the audience and the camera his muscles before heading back to BG. Petey tries to send BG across the ring but BG gets the switch and sends Petey across the ring to be met by Daniels with a waiting clothesline. Daniels proceeds to stomp on Petey who is down on the mat.  BG joins Daniels and then they send Petey across the ring and into the ropes. Petey comes off the ropes and is met with a high kick courtesy of Daniels. BG and Daniels appear to have come to some sort of understanding and now BG picks up Petey and he sends him into the ropes to deliver a fist to the head as Petey comes off the ropes. Scott is back up on the ring apron but BG nails him with a right to the skull and Scott goes down to the floor. Daniels picks up Petey and sends him face first into the top turnbuckle then sends him across the ring into the opposite ring post and then delivers a dropkick while BG: follows up with a forearm. Scott is again back up on the apron ring and again BG swings a right but this time Scott is ready for it and he block’s BG’s hand, then grabs BG’s head and drops off the ring apron hanging BG up on the top rope. On the opposite side of the ring Petey comes over the top rope and delivers a jawbreaker to Daniels while Scott follows up with a clothesline. Scott sends a recently uprighted BG back to the mat before taking Daniels up and over in a suplex. Scott does the same to BG before going back and taking Daniels down again. Scott sets Daniels up for the Steiner recliner but is stopped when BG nails him in the back. Petey is back to his feet but he is met by a boxing BG in the center of the ring. BG winds up for a big right hand but Petey ducks out of the way and comes off the ropes but BG nails him with a foot to the midsection and sets him up for a pump handle but Daniels nails BG in the back. Daniels sends BG to the mat with the angel’s wings then turns to be caught by Pete who delivers the Canadian destroyer. Petey goes for the cover but only gets a two count before Scott picks Petey up by the hair. Scott takes Petey to the mat with a belly-to-belly suplex, goes for the cover and gets the three count.

Not a bad match for an opening match even if it does consist of the Feast or Fired match that TNA has managed to drag out until everyone wants it to just be over with. Petey is looking good, muscles and all, and it was nice to see the Canadian destroyer in a match again.

Scott declines the $50,000.00 check made out in his name (they wrote that check out quick, didn’t they?).  BG James tries to convince Scott to take his briefcase. Scott decides to trade his briefcase for the one Petey Williams has brought to ringside (Petey did say in an earlier interview that he was certain he had the World Heavyweight title shot in his briefcase.).  Scott is not happy with Petey and thinks Petey deliberately lied about what was in his briefcase.

COMMERCIAL BREAK BEFORE WE FIND OUT WHAT IS IN SCOTT’S BRIEFCASE.

Back from commercial break, JB is in the ring with the four opponents in the previous match:

Petey Williams, who now has Scott Steiner’s case, has a TNA World Heavyweight title shot.

Crystal is backstage with Kaz and he is discussing his match tonight with Rellik. Kaz tells us that he has learned from his hero, Chuck Norris, and Kaz will remain humble. Christian shows up wanting Kaz to be his partner tonight. Christian calls Kaz’s win against him a fluke but winning the ladder match against Christian was one of the biggest wins of Kaz’s career and now Christian believes that Kaz owes him something. Kaz pulls a fast one and gets Christian to close his eyes and then Kaz makes a break for it.

NOTE: Kaz seems to be getting more comfortable in front of the mic these days.

Rellik from the Depths of Hell

Vs.

Kaz from Anaheim, CA

Referee: Shane Sewell

Winner: Kaz

TNA now has four “monsters”: The Monster Abyss, Judas Mesias, Black Reign and now Rellik. While I have nothing against creatures, are we getting a little carried away in the horror department? Rellik could work the ring as a regular guy and just wrestle as I’m sure any of the four monsters could.

Rellik goes after Kaz before the bell rings and beats him down into a corner and then proceeds to choke him until the referee gets in the middle and breaks it up. As Rellik grabs Kas by the ankles to pull him into the center of the ring, Kaz lands on his feet and fights back with a series of forearms before attempting to send Rellik across the ring. Rellik delivers a boot to the abdomen but Kaz comes back with kicks to the sides and a spin kick that sends Rellik to the mat. Kaz goes for the cover but only gets a one count before Rellik powers out, sending Kaz nearly crashing into the ref. Rellik charges at Kaz, Kas pulls down the top rope and sends Rellik over the top rope and to the floor outside the ring. Kaz slingshots over the top rope and takes Rellilk down to the floor with a cross body block.

COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH!

THAT’S ONE!

Back from commercial break, both men are back in the ring. Rellik picks up Kaz and body slams him to the mat, then goes up on the top turnbuckle to deliver a leg drop but Kaz rolls out of the way and Rellik hits the mat. Kaz comes off the ropes and delivers a short drop kick. Rellik is back to his feet, Kaz tries to send him across the ring but Rellik gets the switch. Kaz lands near the ring post and goes up in the air as Rellik comes after him. Kaz flips Rellik over in a roll up and gets a two count before Rellik powers out. Rellik tries for a boot to the face but Kaz ducs and delivers a leg sweep to bring Rellik down to the canvas. Kaz springboards off the middle rope to deliver a leg drop, goes for the pin and again gets a two count before Rellik powers out. Kaz tries to send Rellik across the ring, Rellik gets the switch and sends Kaz into the opposite ropes. Kaz comes off the ropes with a high kick aimed at Rellik’s head, but Rellik ducks underneath Kaz, comes off the ropes and delivers a high boot to Kaz’s chest. Rellik goes for the cover and gets a two count before Kaz powers out, and Rellik almost gets the ref. Rellik picks Kaz up and goes for a neck breaker, but Kaz flips over, lands behind Rellik, and face plants Rellik on the mat. Kaz goes for the cover and gets the three count.

Kaz has certainly been making an impact – no pun intended with the fans of TNA. Now that he has been in matches that allow him to showcase his talent, we can only hope to see more of him. I believe Rellick can do much more in the ring than he is being allowed to do, but he does  make an interesting “monster”.

As the ref raises Kaz’s hand in the air, Black Reign appears in the ring and delivers a shot that sends Kaz down to the mat. Black Reign pick up his darkness falls weapon and nails Kaz in the top of the head. Black Reign has come to the ring with Misty, the Artic Fox (it’s a domestic rat, folks!) and Rellik and Black Reign put Misty in a bag and then they put the bag over Kaz’s head and tie it.

IT’S A LIVE BEING TNA IDIOTS!

SHE SHOULDN’T BE AT RINGSIDE

LET ALONE STUFFED IN A BAG OVER SOMEONE’S HEAD!

We now have three refs, along with security,  in the ring trying to get the bag off of Kaz’s head. At least Misty got to spend some time with an attractive wrestler!

JB is in the back with Angelina Love and Velvet Sky who are in a match tonight against Ms. Brooks and Jackie Moore. Angelina and Velvet want us to know what experienced they are in the ring.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, Crystal is backstage with Ms. Brooks, Miss Jackie, Robert Roode, and Cowboy James Storm. Miss Jackie is drinking and appears to be slightly inebriated. Storm says that’s the Miss Jackie he likes to see – well, that and them boobies. Most people would take that as an insult but the way Storm says it is so funny it’s difficult to do anything but laugh. Ms. Brooks is not impressed with her tag team partner Ms. Brooks asks Miss Jackie to try to sober up real quick for the match tonight, Miss Jackie responds by doing what Storm calls “the boobie bump” and then Miss Jackie pours beer down Ms. Brooks’ top. When Ms. Brooks gets angry, Roode tells her she can’t talk to her veteran partner like that and she can’t talk down to people like that. Roode tells Ms. Brooks for once in her pathetic life to do something right tonight.

Women’s Tag Team Match

Velvet Sky from The Big Apple

&

Angelina Love from Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Vs.

Ms. Brooks from Wall Street in Manhattan, New York

&

The Pride of Tennessee Miss Jackie Moore

Referee: Earl Hebner

Winner: Velvet Sky & Angelina Love

I don’t mind the writers using drinking as a way to get a comedy sketch going – as in Storms’ drinking contest with Eric Young but I do mind that Miss Jackie is such a talent in the ring and she has been lowered to be a drunk in this match. Waste of time, waste of talent.

Ms. Brooks enters the ring taking everyone down in her sights and Jackie follows suit. I wish I was that coordinated when I was loaded! Jackie kicks Love out of the ring and Ms. Brooks goes after Sky. Ms. Brooks sends Sky into the ropes and Jackie sends her to the floor with a face plant and doesn’t even spill her beer! Such athleticism, such coordination, such – sorry, I got carried away…Ms. Brooks delivers a boot to Sky’s head then proceeds to stomp on her. Jackie joins in and Ms. Brooks takes away Jackie’s beer. Jackie is now in the ring with Sky and she delivers several boots to the midsection before taking a couple of hands full of hair and sending her across the riing onto the mat. Love is trying to coax Sky into making a tag but Jackie delivers a right to Love’s jaw. Again Jackie uses Sky’s hair to send her down to the mat. Jackie delivers forearm shots to the side of Sky’s head then picks her up and drops her with a back breaker. Jackie yells for Ms. Brooks to put her boot up on the top turnbuckle which she does so that Jackie can slam Sky’s hair into the boot. Jackie tags in Ms. Brooks who goes after Sky with a few stomps Ms. Brooks picks Sky up and with a drop toe hold sends her face first into the bottom rope. Ms. Brooks goes back across the ring and charges, landing with both knees on Sky’s back. Sky gets back to her feet and Ms. Brooks delivers a running clothesline dropping Sky to the canvas again. Ms. Brooks goes for the cover and gets a two count before Sky gets a shoulder off the mat. Sky delivers a jawbreaker to Ms. Brooks and dives for a tag to Love. Love comes off the top turnbuckle and lands with a cross body block, taking Ms. Brooks down to the mat, then pulls Ms. Brooks hair to slam her hard back down to the mat. Ms. Brooks is back to her feet and again Love takes her down by pulling the hair. Ms. Brooks is back to her feet, Love delivers a boot to the abdomen. Love goes back into the ropes and comes off with a knee to the head. Jackie enters the ring and goes after Love with a clothesline. Love ducks under the arm, and comes back with a backhand slap to Jackie’s face, then a chop to the chest. Love takes Jackie down with a jawbreaker then steps away as Ms. Brooks comes after her. Love delivers a kick to Ms.Brooks chest and goes for the cover but only gets a two count before Ms. Brooks kicks out. Love picks up Ms. Brooks who delivers a boot to the midsection, then a fist to the back. Ms. Brooks has Love up on her shoulders and is talking to Jackie but there seems to be a problem and Love breaks free and shoves Ms. Brooks into Jackie, knocking her off the ring apron. Love rolls up Ms. Brooks and gets the three count.

Not a bad match, but not enough of Miss Jackie in the ring. Has anyone noticed that Angelina Love gets knocked out of the ring or off of the ring apron at least once each time she is in a match? Love was allowed to show a little more of her wrestling abilities in the ring than she has before, however, and she and Ms. Brooks make very good opponents in a match.

After the match, Ms. Brooks and Jackie get into a shoving match in the middle of the ring. Roode enters the ring and yells at Jackie for putting her hands on Ms. Brooks and Jackie leaves the ring. Roode turns to Ms. Brooks and berates her for losing the match. Roode’s Number One Fan is in the back again behind the audience with her glasses on. Enter Sharmell who begins to put Roode in his place. Sharmell has on another nice outfit by the way. Roode tells Sharmell that a lady doesn’t go work a street corner in Houston, Texas to find her future husband. Roode threatens her but then bails out fast when Booker T charges to the ring.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, Crystal is backstage with Christian who wants her to go in with him to go see Kevin Nash. Christian talks to Nash about being his partner in his match tonight against Angle and Roode but Nash isn’t interested. Nash says he would rather sit around, do nothing and get paid. Nash makes some gestures and Crystal laughs. Christian tells her to shut up, that she is laughing at an eleven year old with gray hair.

Father James Mitchell enters the arena and the ring. Tonight Mitchell is calling out Abyss in order to have Abyss, also called Chris by Mitchell, tell entire world the truth. Abyss enters the ring. Mitchell tries to talk Abyss into telling the truth to the audience and tells Abyss that he has to tell everyone because they won’t believe Mitchell, they will think he is lying because of Sting. Abyss gets a big round of applause from the audience when he enters the ring. Mitchell says that he made Abyss, made him a champion, and they could have been a family – something Abyss has never had. Abyss refuses to tell the truth and Mitchell shakes his head no and Mitchell says that he will get the job done himself. Mitchell puts down the mic and begins take off his jacket. Abyss decks Mitchell with a right hand and then has him by the throat.

NOTE: Mitchell has made reference numerous times to Chris aka Abyss standing by while his no good mother shot his father three times in the back. Is it possible that “Father” James Mitchell really is Abyss’s father and he was planning on taking off his jacket and shirt and showing the world the three scars on his back – just something to think about.

The arena goes dark and when the lights come back on Judas Mesias (yes! Finally he’s baaaack!) is in the ring, spewing blood (I know, I could live without that too) and he has a strand of barbed wire in his hand which he places around Abyss’s throat. Abyss lets go of Mitchell and Mitchell falls to the mat. Mesias has Abyss down on the mat and he kicks Abyss repeatedly in the head before taking the barbed wire and slicing open Abyss with the wire. Mitchell hands Mesias a steel chair and Mesias uses it to deliver numerous shots to Abyss’s head. Abyss is bleeding all over the ring again and Mesias hold Abyss’s arms behind his back so that Mitchell can tie his arms. Again Mesias hits Abyss in the head with the chair several times before dropping him with the straight to hell on top of the chair in the middle of the ring. Okay, so it was a little over the top, but it is Abyss, James Mitchell and Judas Mesias in the same ring…

We assume this attack will be building toward a major battle between The Monster Abyss and Judas Mesias.  I look for that match to be scheduled for the next pay per view if Judas Mesias is one hundred percent and if all of Abyss’s stitches heal.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, a promo for Against All Odds that will be broadcast from the Bi-Lo Center in Greenville, South Carolina, February 10, 2008. Scheduled to appear: Kurt Angle, Booker T, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles and Christian Cage.

JB is backstage with Booker T and Sharmell and Christian appears in order to try to get Booker T to be his partner in his match tonight. Booker T is angry that Roode insulted Sharmell. Christian tries to apologize the way he treated Booker and Sharmell when they arrived at TNA but Booker T is not interested in being Christian’s partner.

Wildcat Chris Harris from Fort Wright, KY

Before Wildcat’s opponent is introduced, Tenay is telling West how Wildcat has done nothing lately but whine and complain. I don’t which I hate more: Miss Jackie Moore as a drunk or Wildcat Chris Harris as a whiner. Obviously his baby face routine didn’t go over but why the TNA writers have him as a complainer is a little beyond me. Harrris comes to the announcers table this time to complain that out of all of the people Christian has asked to be his tag team partner, he didn’t get around to asking Wildcat. Wildcat wants to know what he has to do to get some respect around TNA, change his name to Angle?  We were all wondering the same thing Wildcat.

Vs.

Booker T from Houston, TX

accompanied to the ring by Sharmell

Referee: Andrew Thomas

Winner: Booker T

Booker was so anxious to get in the ring he didn’t wait for Sharmell to hold the ropes for him. He does get a loud pop from the fans.

The bell rings and the two men lock up. Booker has Wildcat in the corner and he breaks clean. The two men lock up again but Wildcat isn’t so eager to give the ref a clean break and he send a boot to Booker’s midsection. He follows up with a series of shots to the head, alternating with boots to the abdomen. Wildcat delivers a spine buster and goes for the cover but only gets a one count before Booker powers out. Wildcat nails Booker with lefts to the skull but Booker sends a boot up to take Wildcat down to the mat. Booker picks Wildcat up and sends chops to the chest along with right hands to the jaw of Wildcat. Booker picks up Wildcat and sends him to the mat with a side slam and goes for the cover but doesn’t get the three count. Booker has Wildcat in an arm lock and Widlcat backs Booker up into the ring post. Wildcat takes a swing at Booker but Booker blocks it and slugs his way out of the corner. Wildcat sends Booker across to the opposite ring post but Booker goes up and over Wildcat and comes down behind him. Wildcat responds with an elbow to Booker’s face and then delivers a running clothesline before going for the cover. Wildcat gets a two count before Booker kicks out. Wildcat comes off the ropes but Booker catches him and slams him down to the mat with a bookend. Booker delivers a boot to Wildcat’s midsection, then backs up and comes off the ropes to take Wildcat down to the mat with an axe kick. Booker goes for the pin and gets the three count.

Not a bad match but not a very long match. Wildcat Chris Harris can do much better work in the ring than he did here but it did allow Booker T some ring time to strut his stuff for the fans.

Does anyone else notice how Sharmell can be at ringside and cheer and yell

and not screech and NOT irritate the viewers ears?

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, the three remaining winners of Feast or Fired match are in the ring. JB tells us that we are going to see what the second briefcase holds.  It is BG James’ turn and his briefcase holds a shot at the TNA tag team titles. Kip James is outside the ring and very enthused but when JB says that BG and his partner Kip will get a shot at the titles, BG says that his partner is yet to be determined. Kip follows BG out of the ring and the arena arguing with him.

Crystal is backstage is backstage with Dustin Rhodes who says she can’t figure out why he’s Dustin one minute and Black Reign the next. Dustin tells Crystal that he has been fighting Black Reign ever since he was a small child when Black Reign would come into his room in the middle of the night and drink his milk and break his toys…I wonder how many children use that one? Dustin even calls Misty a hideous rat!  While Dustin is talking, Kaz comes from out of nowhere and dives on Dustin and begins pounding on him on the floor. Dustin doesn’t understand why Kaz is upset with him and Tenay tells West that it’s as if Dustin doesn’t remember anything that Black Reign does.

Lumberjack Strap Match

Johnny Devine

Vs.

Black Machismo Jay Lethal

Lumberjacks: Alex Shelley, Primetime Elix Skipper, The Warrior Senshi, The Guru Sonjay Dutt, Chris Sabiin and Shark Boy

Referee: Slick Johnson

Winner: Black Machismo Jay Lethal

Lethal is always good in any match but Devine hasn’t been able to show a lot of what he can do in the ring. I was hoping after the Havok thing was gone we would see Devine in more one on one action. We are continuing the “romance” between Lethal and So Cal Val.

The bell rings and Devine goes after Lethal but Lethal gets out of the way and comes back with right fists before tossing Devine out to the floor. The lumberjacks surrounding the ring are ready for Devine and they go after him with the straps to get revenge for Devine turning his back on the X Division and teaming with Brother Ray and Brother Devon of Team 3D. Devine makes a quick run to roll back into the ring but as he gets back to his feet, Lethal sends him through the opposite ropes and back to the floor. Again Devine is met with swinging straps from the lumberjacks and he runs halfway around the ring in order to roll back in with Lethal. Devine is yelling at the lumberjacks from inside the ring when Shelley takes a swing and Devine has to perform a tap dance to avoid being hit in the leg. Devine turns back to Lethal and again is met by swinging right hands. Devine grabs for and hangs on to the top rope, but Lethal nails him with al elbow to the head and tries to send him across into the opposite ropes. Devine gets the switch and Lethal comes off the ropes, ducks under Devine’ waiting clothesline, both men come off the ropes and Devine takes Lethal down with an elbow to the jaw. Devine follows up with an elbow to the top of Lethal’s skull before picking Lethal up and tossing him out to the floor. The lumberjacks surround Lethal and barely tap Lethal with the straps and Devine has a tantrum in the ring. Devine thinks about going out to the floor after Lethal and after several seconds of hesitation he goes out to the floor and is immediately attacked by the lumberjacks. Devine goes under the ring to get away from the flying straps. Lethal is now back in the ring and Shelley is running around to the opposite side of the ring to try to catch Devine coming back out and we go to

COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH!

 AND YES YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

THAT’S TWO!

Back from commercial break, promo for the Final Resolution pay per view that will air January 6, 2008.

Devine is now back in the ring and he is trying to set Lethal up but Lethal backs into the ropes and manages to toss Devine over the top rope and back to the floor. Sabiin greets Devine with a strap as the other lumberjacks make their way from around the ring to get their smacks in on Devine. Devine is down on the floor and surrounded. Senshi and Skipper roll Devine back into the ring. Lethal grabs Devine as he enters the ring and executes the Lethal combination and then goes up to the top turnbuckle to deliver a flying elbow, goes for the cover and gets the three count.

After the bell rings, the lumberjacks enter the ring to work on Devine a little more with the straps before Team 3D appears on the entrance ramp. The X Division wants Team 3D in the ring and they let Devine go to face Team 3D. Devine shoves fans out of the way to go over the guardrail and out of the arena.

Back to Feast of Fired and we have a replay of what we saw earlier this evening. We are now waiting for JB to tell us what The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels has in his briefcase. Daniels talks to the fans about being with the company since it began and that he has faith that his briefcase contains the X Division title shot. Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner tells us that Jim Cornette doesn’t have the guts to fire him and that Petey Williams lied to Scott about what was in Petey’s briefcase. Scott then says there is no lying in wrestling (oh, c’mon Scott, you can do better than that!). Scott says he will get his case back from Petey Williams. JB says we are going to find out the contents of the two briefcases and then we go to

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, JB is still in the ring with Daniels and Scott. JB says that the wrestler who is fired will be escorted by Security who has surrounded the ring. Both cases are opened at the same time. Scott Steiner receives an X Division title shot and Christopher Daniels is fired. Daniels, obviously, is very upset and we know that Daniels won the briefcase from Senshi who originally won the case at Feast or Fired. Security is now in the ring and Daniels is shedding tears. He rolls out of the ring and heads up the entrance ramp on his way out of the arena. The audience chants “Fallen Angel” as Daniels waves to the crowd and exits the arena.

Crystal is backstage with Samoa Joe and Christian.  Christian is trying to convince Joe to go out and be his partner in the match he has tonight with Angle and Roode. Joe is not interested in being Christian’s partner and I’m not sure just what Joe said since most of his remarks and responses were bleeped out. Joe says that every time someone goes to war they come looking for him and hop that he hates their opponent more than he hates them. Joe says he has other things to worry about, like people that don’t show up and he has people nickel and diming him on his contract. Christian says that if Joe is his partner tonight, Christian will go to TNA management and get Joe whatever he wants. Joe says he would rather be broke than be Christian’s partner. Joe storms off and Crystal asks Christian now what and Christian says he will go out to face his opponents with the only person that really matters and that person is Christian Cage.

Handicap Match

The Instant Classic Christian Cage from Tampa, FL by way of Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Vs.

Robert Roode of Wall Street in Manhattan, NY

Roode is not accompanied to the ring by Ms. Brooks this time…

&

Kurt Angle of Pittsburgh, PA

accompanied by the Mrs.

Referee: Earl Hebner

Winners: Robert Roode & Kurt Angle

We spent most of this two hour time slot on the Feast or Fired match that should have been taken care of at the last pay per view.  Since there isn’t much time left, the only person who will be getting a major workout here will be Christian.

Roode enters the ring immediately but Christian is able to take him down and deliver a few boots before Angle enters the ring. Christian bails out of the ring and Angle goes after him. Christian runs around the ring and rolls back in with Angle hot on his heels. Christian is greeted by Roode but he manages to nail Roode with a clothesline and send him back down to the mat. Angle attacks Christian and sends him down to the mat. The ref is trying to get Angle out of the ring but Roode is now back to his feet stomping on a downed Christian. Roode works on Christian with a few fists to keep him down. Roode picks Christian up and slams his head into the top turnbuckle and then delivers a boot to the midsection while Christian is up against a ring post. Roode continues with right hands and a choke with his boot while the ref is warning him to back off and not use fists. Roode picks Christian back up and tries to send him across the ring but Christian gets the switch and sends Roode into the opposite ring post. Roode comes out of the corner and Christian sends him to the mat with a back body drop. Christian takes Roode by the hair and slams his head repeatedly into the mat and then switches to right hands. Christian delivers a chop but Roode switches Christian and delivers a few chops, Christian reverses it and lands a few chops. Roode sends Christian into the ropes and Christian comes off the ropes and slides underneath Roode. As Rood comes off the ropes, Christian delivers a leg lariat that sends Roode crashing to the canvas. Christian goes for the cover, Angle enters the ring, but Roode kicks out before the count of three. As Christian is distracted by Angle, Roode is back to his feet to send an elbow into Christian’s abdomen. Roode slams Christian’s head into the top turnbuckle and then tags in Angle. Angle stomps on Christian who is down on the mat. Angle attempts to pick Christian up but Christian goes over his back and gets Angle in a headlock. Angle pushes Christian back into the ropes and sends him into the ropes on the opposite side of the ring. Christian comes off the ropes and Angle leapfrogs over Christian. Christian comes off the opposite ropes and ducks the clothesline Angle has waiting for him. Christian again comes off the opposite ropes and nails Angle with a shoulder block that sends Angle to the mat. Christian is back to his feet and takes Angle down with a side headlock. Angle motions for Roode to enter the ring and he does as the ref tries to stop him. Christian meets Roode with a boot to the midsection, then manages to use Roode’s body to go up and over Angle’s back to the mat. Christian has Angle by the neck and Roode comes at him with a clothesline but Christian drops to the mat, taking Angle down with an inverted DDT and as Roode turns and comes back at Christian, Christian takes Roode down with a clothesline.

COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH!

YES,WRESTLING FANS

THAT’S THREE!

Back from commercial break, al three men are in the ring. Angle shoves Christian toward Roode who comes off the top rope and takes Christian down to the mat. Roode goes for the cover but Christian gets a shoulder off the mat at the count of two. Roode grabs Christian by the wrist and drags him over to Roode’s side of the ring where he tags in Angle. Angle has Christian down on the mat in a headlock as Tenay tells us we are going to see what happened during the commercial break: Christian gets brought down to the mat in a suplex courtesy of Angle, Roode blatantly chokes Christian then picks him up and drops him on the mat. Back to the match, Christian is making it back up to his feet and he slams elbow’s into Angle’s gut to make him release the headlock. Christian comes off the ropes but runs into Angle’s elbow. Angle hesitates and then decides to go for the cover. He gets a two count before Christian kicks out. Angle picks Christian up and slams him to the mat and then wanders around the ring before going up to the top turnbuckle. Angle goes for a moonsault but Christian rolls out of the way and Angle meets the mat. Both men are up on their knees in the ring exchanging punches, then they are back to their feet and still exchanging blows. Christian throws a hard right and Angle goes down to the mat. Christian shoves Angle into a ring post then delivers a series of chops to the chest. Christian attempts to send Angle across the ring but Angle gets the switch, sends Christian into the opposite ring post but Christian nails Angle with an elbow to the jaw when Angle comes after him. Christian starts out through the ropes then stops and takes Angle to the mat with a neck breaker before going out onto the ring apron. Christian goes to the top turnbuckle but takes a lot of time getting there, comes off with frog splash, Angle rolls out of the way and Christian meets the mat. Angle goes for a roll up and gets a two count. Both men are back to their feet and Christian throws a right at Angle, Angle ducks and takes Christian down in a series of three German suplexes.

And this is when my Tivo cut off the show…

I had to go digging via the Internet to find the end of the match. My Tivo got as tired of commercial breaks during the matches as I did and it cut off before the end of the match…way to go TNA. The time was set correctly, so it was it TNA or the network that screwed it up? My Tivo recorded a full two hours and I still missed the end of the match.

I see a lot of promise with Roode as a most hated heel with an ability to work the ring as a professional. He and Christian could be nice antagonists is the story line continues in this way. Anyone who has read any review I have done of The Instant Classic knows how much I respect Christian in the ring. Angle has been doing as little as possible in the ring. I don’t know if that is his idea or if someone higher up in TNA is keeping him surrounded by other wrestlers who spend more time in the ring. I noticed in this match it appeared that Angle wasn’t certain was he was supposed to do next and it is obvious he is not comfortable climbing up to the top turnbuckle.

 

TNA iMPACT !! / DECEMBER 6
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