One day, Bob was sitting in his living room (well it was really Melvin's living room, but Bob lived there, so...) not doing much and basically pondering the groovyness of Cheese whiz and bacon bits on saltine crackers with ranch dip. This was Bob's favorite snack. But unfortunatly, Melvin was all out of Cheese Whiz. (I mean, what does a monkly man need with Cheese Whiz anyway?) So Bob could not have his snack. Which was SO disgusting that even the great white shark drummer who ate the Waratah would eat it. Anyway, I digress. Bob was doing nothing, like we said a few sentences ago and got pretty bored. (after all, if he wasn't bored, how could there be a Bob story? Bob stories require mucho boredom on the part of both the authors and the character of Bob. Anyway, moving on...) So Bob decided to contemplate his left toenail. Well, that got boring pretty quickly. Because after all, you can only stare at your left toenail for so long (unless there is a glow-in-the-dark sticker on it and the lights are out) and if you've seen one left tonail, you've seen them all.....
Since he had run out of toenails, Bob decided to contemplate his belly button instead. He poked at it and tried to shoot grapes out of it into a near-by trashcan, but it just wasn't working, because he wasn't a chick. And only female person can shoot grapes out of their navel/belly button. Bob however soon became an expert at long-distance-pea-firing. And got Melvin in the head more than once.
Now Bob hadn't thourghly cleaned his navel in a very long time. So he had quite a lint problem. Now Bob's lint soon got veeeerrrry tired of being used and abused for shooting people with "Lindy's Small Early June Peas" (which are REALLY good, by the way) and decided to revolt.
Bob was sleeping peacefully one night, on Melvin's couch, when his lint attacked him. It rose up out of his belly button like the dragon guy did in Fantasia. It whacked Bob about the neck and ears and quickly won the fight. Bob surrendered. He signed "The Peace of Ausburg." No. Wait. "The Peace of Paris of.." NO. WRONG!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay. Bob and his belly lint signed the "Treaty of Tulane" under the terms that the pea-firing would stop and Bob would pay the belly lint $2.00 in punitive damages.
In Bob We Trust,
~Lids!~
So, what? Why didn't you like it? Well...then...YOU'RE WEIRD!!!!!!!!! And therefore, I don't care..(guess I'll go eat worms??? WHA???) Anyway, go back to the hole you crawled out of. Thanks for tuning in. That is all. Go away. NOW!!!!!!!!!!
