Once upon a time, in a land far, far away along I-95, there was a store know only as SOUTH OF THE BORDER. (dun dun da dun!!) Bob and his entourage, Melvin, Velvetta, John Shelby, and Pistachio often stopped here. In fact, they stopped everytime they went by!! One day, Bob and Melvin really really had to pee. So, like all good people do when they must pee, they went to the bathroom!! Now, both Bob and Melvin were men. Bob was a wee bit tipsy so he tried to go into the ladies' room. Well, Melvin steered him in the right direction just in time to avoid a potentially embarrassing moment. And they procedded to the men's room.
Everything was going great until Bob heard a voice say, as they walked down the hall, "Hey! What's your hurry?" Bob froze in tracks and turned around to see where the voice was coming from. He didn't see anyone in the hall. Since he was very superstious, Bob's knees began to quake. He said "Is anyone there?" The voice replyed "Come here, I want to tell you a joke!" Bob saw the source of the voice. It was a large mechnical monkey, hidden in the corner by the waterfountain. Bob approached and said "Okay. So, what's the joke dude?" The monkey said nothing.
Bob asked the monkey again. "What's the joke dude?" The monkey still didn't reply. Bob was beginning to get very angry. His face was turning red and his arms and legs were breaking out in hives!! Melvin got very worried because Bob gets very crazy when he gets like that. Quickly he grabbed Bob's arm and said "Bob come on! It's no big deal. It's just a fake monkey."
The monkey looked over at Melvin and said "Hey! Who you callin fake you caveman?" Bob got scared and threw up his hands and ran away screaming like a girl. Melvin was left to face the infuriated monkey all alone!!
Melvin yelled for Velvetta to help him. Velvetta came running in with beer flying out of his arms shouting "What's the matter? Did Bob fall down again?" "NO!" said Melvin, "He left me here with this angry monkey!! Now what?"
Well, Velvetta had never fought an angry monkey either so they yelled for Pistachio's help. They figured if anybody could fix the situation, it'd be him. Pistachio came running in at break neck speed. But, unfortunatly he tripped over a cord in the hallway.
Suddenly the monkey sat down and was still. Pistachio had saved the day!! YAY!! Well, Melvin, Velvetta, and Pistachio came to the conclusion that it would be best for everyone involved if the monkey were to, ah, "dissappear" So, they picked up the monkey, loaded it into the back of the van and went home. The monkey now lives with Pistachio's mother. But, uh, don't tell Bob okay??
Hey! Got a Bob story request? Or just got a problem? Then E-mail me!!
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