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In 1995 I started to be one of those people who see the world from a different perspective and then I considered myself as another victim. Today I look at it like something which I can learn from and show the world that somehow we all are survivors.

Before sharing my story I would like you to learn somethings about Depression and Panic Disorder... that monster behind the doors, that horrible thing nobody wants to happen to them. However, I think this disease is more like a life style for once you have it the first time, it's for lifetime. That's why I say that you can learn from it.

Important Information

What is Depression
Types of Depression
What can cause a Depression?

Now that you have visited the links (I hope you did!) I must say that my depressive episodes are always accompanied by Anxiety and Panic Disorder, so I guess you are wondering what are these, right? I don't pretend to be a doctor, but since my depressive disease was diagnosed I have tried to read medical information and familiarize with this situation so below you will find a link which lead you to some information I have compiled, thanks to documentation provided by my psychiatrist.

Anxiety - What is it?

I think I bored you enough but I thought I had to make a theorical introduction before start to talk about me. You see, as a Biology Student I am very attached to facts and I like to be clear when I want to expose something. I bet you are about to leave (LOL!) so here's my story and how I have become a Survivor.

Go and read Beato's Story

If you are interested in sharing experiences like this where you can show you are a Survivor, don't hesitate and contact me. I know we all need help someday and the more we share, the more we will learn.

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What is Depression?

We can say that depression is a personal experience which consists in a mixture of feelings such as sorrow, regret, anguish, desolation, pain, despair, apathy... accompanied by a horrible sensation of inability which interferes with the personal development and the perception of reality, and a very marked tendency to pesimism.

When you are depressed you tend to feel so unhappy that you can get to think your life is worthless. In some cases you can even think of taking your life away and therefore run away from those things which aren't satisfying you.

The kind of sensations you experiment when you go from sadness to depression are impossible to compare with any kind of illness. Many people would rather to live some other kind of situation instead of falling into the dark labirynth of depression again and again.

Most Depressive episodes begin being normal feelings of sadness as a consecuence of multiple causes. These can be Inner, that means, organic, hereditary or metabolic. Or they can be Outer as a natural response to adverse situations such as an economic crisis, the death of a loved one, etc.

It isn't easy to determine in what moment the normal sadness ends and the depression begins. It has been observed that many people show something called like "Mini-Depressions", like when the pre-menstrual period in women.

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Types of Depression

There are several types of depression, which can be classified from the lowest to the highest, depending on the causes, intensity and duration. However, the ones who can diagnose depressions are doctors after making a serious study of your behaviour.

LIGHT DEPRESSION: It can be Episodic or Historic. Generally it is presented as a considerable stress level accompanied by sadness and anxiety. Episodic Depression is a reaction go adverse situations. The person feels tired, not able to sleep, irritable and unable to express their feelings. In Historic Depression causes have to be looked for into the person's past events.

TOXIC DEPRESSION: It has its orign in intoxications by medication, physical disorders and drugs.

CRONIC DEPRESSION: It persists during years. The person is unhappy most of the time. Although they are able to have a normal life, they will feel limited and will have problems trying to mantain relationships.

SEVERE DEPRESSION: Mood is extremily low during a lont time period and it can be repeated several times during the year. This kind of depression is considered as a disease, but it won't stop the person to have a normal life.

MANIAC-DEPRESSIVE DISEASE: It affects the normal functions and it is divided into two phases: Maniac, when the person is very happy and enthusiastic during the whole day and Depressive, characterised by a very marked moment of sadness with fantasies and suicidal thoughts. This kind of depression requires medical treatment.

PSICOSIS: The person loses notion of reality, starts to have delirious ideas and hallucinations. It requires a very careful medical treatment.

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What can cause Depression

Studies have demonstrated, almost certainly, that there is a pre-disposition genetically transmitted. Therefore, the risk of suffering of depression is higher in those families with cases of depressive members and it is believed that this genetical pre-disposition can be related with the neurotransmisor Acetilcolin. Depression is considered as a "Women Thing" for it is presented in 2 or 3 women for each man, but it is known that women ask for help while men don't.

There are two types of causes for depression: Endogenous, which come from organic causes and Reactive which come from external factors like the loss of a loved one, a break up in a love relationship, etc. Here is a list of the most common situations which can lead you to a depression.

1) Long stress periods
2) Inability to communicate with others
3) Inactivity or isolation
4) Frustrations for non-achieved goals
5) Toxic habits
6) Family pressure
7) Inability or shame to ask for help
8) Very big goals
9) Leaving medication or medical treatments abruptly

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Anxiety and Panic Disorder

Anxiety is an universal emotion that we normally experiment when we face danger. It has an enourmous adaptative value for it alerts and obliges us to act by our conservation instinct. However, the Anxiety Disorder refers to several expression of abnormal-patological anxiety, for they constitute an incorrect response to a certain situation.

Anxiety is an emotional state where the person feels aprehension and sorrow. Like depression it can have normal or patological characteristics depending on the duration, intensity, alteration of behaviour and normal functioning as a human being.

Normal anxiety comes as a natural reaction to the threats of daily life. Normally, fear and anxiety have similar manifestations, but anxiety has 2 components: Physiological (physical) sensations and Fear.

Physically, anxiety can be detected by symphtoms such as diahrrea, hipertension, nausea, urinating, muscular rigidity, dry mouth, pupil dilatation, tremor, faints, palpitations, sweating, fear to death. Psycologically the person will experiment a terrible sensation of sorrow, alterations on the perception of time-space and people and a big decreasing in attention, concentration and memory.

Panic Disorder is characterized by the spontaneous aparition of anguish in short time periods (less than an hour) with a peak within the first 10 minutes. To be diagnosed the patient has to experiment at least four (or more), at least from 4 to 6 weeks, of the sympthoms given above. Generally, people go to Emergency Rooms and their Panic Disorder is not diagnosed properly. This kind of thing requiers medical treatment which is effective in the 70%-80% of the cases.

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