Europa. Ever since Galileo drifted past it's icy countenance, astronomers and geologists alike have wondered if the waters below the ice contain the building blocks of life. Located just 670,900 Km from Jupiter, Europa is a good candidate for "tital friction" wherein the spinning of Jupiter would in effect heat the moon's surface enough to not have the whole thing freeze up. What exotic life exsists under all that ice? Nobody knows for sure....nobody on EARTH that is!! Who would know the answers to these questions, you might ask?!? Why Johnny Moondog, of course!

Johnny Moondog was last seen on December 23rd after his controversial show about area 51 and the secrets that lie within it's borders. It has long been suspected by conspiracy theorists that the U.S. Government took him captive and had him put to death, or imprisoned him. It is suspected that he is being held at area 51, or other military installments. Others think that he has relocated himself to the North Pole, where he lives with an arctic bunny (a cow would be no good in that weather). Frankly, there are more theories about the subject than I (or any sane person) care to get into. Besides, I know where Johnny is, as I have been there to see him.

As bizarre as it may sound, Johnny is being held to aid the study of Europa by the famous "Greys" (which are much talked about by UFO buffs) in a research vessel on the bottom of the Rampartian ocean near the equater of Europa! The Greys, long known to visit Earth, Mars, and our own Moon have set up shop on Europa in an effort to decide wether or not to have a permanent base there, now that Mars has been, and will be explored more thoroughly by the Earth inhabitants.

There has long been a base under the Cydonia Region of Mars. Ancient greys colonized the area on Mars over 4000 years ago but when a stray comet smashed into the planet, (or some think a nuclear war took place) some 2000 years ago, robbing the atmosphere of oxygen, the greys had to move under ground. The base has long been protected from prying eyes, however, talk of a manned flight to the area caused the Greys to abandon the base altogether and move to Europa, where no human will venture for many many years to come. NASA photos of the regon produced the startling images now famous, such as the face and several pyramids.

Johnny got the opportunity to (with the aid of a space suit) walk the area, and take many photos. He asked me to develop them, and prove to NASA once and for all that Robert Hoagland was not a fruit case, but governmant officials got to the film first, destroying the photos. The one on this web page is a NASA stock photo.

Johnny and I got the chance to visit when I was "abducted" (I went rather willingly) last July. I was put into a deep sleep, and when I awoke we were orbiting Europa. The ship that I was in landed on a runway, and was lowered as if by a great hydraulic lift into the sea. We then headed toward the air lock, where Johnny was waiting.

We talked at great length about his stay, and how he was being treated. He drew up this cutaway of Europa (right) to explain how the moon is constructed, and tried to explain how it is probably heated through tital friction. He spoke of the abundant and exotic ocean animals, of huge cold water geysers, and massive underwater volcanos. He told of his feelings of being almost 780,000,000 miles from home, and how he misses his cow, "Cosmo". While he is thankful for the opportunity to study this distant satellite, he knows that he will probably never see the green green grass of home, or hear a robin's song, and is saddened.

His feelings of sorrow cannot, however dampen his urge to learn more about this wonderland of science. After this site is up, some may call him a traitor for helping the Greys research the intersting moon. Johnny does not care. He said that the scientific community turned their collective backs on him YEARS ago, and must have felt relief when he disappeared. Besides, his knowledge would be "useless" to them since they (collective scientific community) foolishly do not believe in the existance of inteligent beings from outer space. Johnny knows that the thought of them taking him to Europa, and his being held there to study it would seem rediculous to the conservative group at NASA

Many things would sound far fetched at best to these "bone heads" (Johnny's words) at NASA. Take the photo to the left for example. When NASA scientests saw this photo (taken by Galileo) they compared the lines to ice rafts found on the North Pole during the spring thaw. When I told Johnny this, he nearly choked on his jelly dohnut. "My GOD" he said, "don't they know a landing strip when they see one?" He said that what the photos shows, is a mock up of the landing strips near "Dreamland" in area 51. The Greys did not figure that the Earthlings or "Zepoltorbs" as they call us would recognize it as such. "Heck," one said in a private conversation "your scientists think that the face on Mars is a natural feature". "Nezzlepods..." he added shaking his head and snickering. Johnny went on later to clear up (in my mind at least) some of the other "open issues" regarding Europa, such as the reason why the surface is so smooth, thickness of the ice, and other such things.

I asked Johnny what he thought of the possibility of NASA sending a JPL (Jet Propulsion Laboratories) project called "Icepick" to explore the oceans under the ice on Europa. He said that while he thinks this will NEVER happen (and made a derogatory statement about NASA's desire NOT to learn of life on other planets/moons) he knows that it would fail if sent. Many people thought that the recent failure of the Mars Explorer over the controversial Cydonia Regon was due to NASA's desire NOT to learn more about the area. This could not be farther from the truth, Johnny said. In fact the Greys did not want their ancient and sacred place to be defiled, so they caused the craft to fail. Such would be the fate of any invasive exploration of Europa.

Almost as soon as my adventure to Europa had begun, it was time to go back. Johnny wished his former listeners well, even Dr. Robert Orpheous. He sent me on my was with a painting that he had created while allowed on the surface one week. It is called Jupiter Overlooking Me, and is a powerfull image of the frailty of life, and the fleetingness of art. It talks to me of the incredible loneliness of deep space, and while one may be surrounded by well meaning exra terrestrials, one still long for human contact. As I boarded the Grey's Intergalactic Crusier, I could not help but think of the friend that I was about to leave behind. I asked him if he would reconsider coming home to his friends and fans, but he refused. "I have lots of work here yet." he said. "Besides, I have all of my good friends right here" he concluded, stroking his 1967 copy of "The Book of Popular Science Volume 3". As I drifted off to sleep with visions of Europa fresh in my mind, and the alien's anal probe going in, I thought of Johnny. How he is the bravest and most giving person I, or the world will ever know. Johnny, if you can read this, God speed my friend. God speed.

I get millions of e-mails per day asking me what Johnny is up to, and when I plan on seeing him again. I cannot answer all the mail, but I have placed a feedback area which contains some of the more interesting mail that I have recieved. Feel free to e-mail me, please do so. I cannot imagine why anyone would want to leave this site, but if you do, there are some helpful links for you to choose from.

Johnny wanted to send a secret message to his listeners. He said that on October 23, 2002, the Greys are going to mount a massive attack on the mid-west portion of the United States, and Greenland. He suggests that you head for Montana, or Salt Lake City. Change all of your cash out for gold for when the currency collapses, buy a crank-up radio/flashlight and a good digital camera (just in case). He also wanted to tell Doctor Robert Orphious to take a flying leap.