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Is Stuart McCall:
What is 2 - 1?
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter: Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moooo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" The wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied,
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.
She and her husband were ecstatic!
Clinton visits Saddam Hussein to talk about the weapon- inspections in Iraq. As he sits down he sees three buttons in the arm-rest of the chair of Saddam. When Saddam sits down, Clinton immediately asks "Why are there three buttons in your arm-rest?"
"You'll see" replies Saddam.
They start the talks, but after 10 minutes Saddam presses the 1st button, and 'WHACK' a boxing glove hits Clinton in the face. Clinton grabs his nose, while Saddam is laughs himself silly. Clinton remains calm because he doesn't want this to affect the talks.
After another 10 minutes, Saddam presses the 2nd button and another boxing glove hits Clinton in the stomach. While Clinton is gasping for air, Saddam falls out of his chair laughing. Clinton gets annoyed by now, but still remains outwardly calm.
They resume the talk, but after 5 minutes Saddam presses the final button, and from under the table another boxing glove hits Clinton right in the crotch. Clinton is really fed up by now and stands up to leave. "We'll continue this talk next week in the White House" says the President.
Saddam, choking from laughing, is too proud to say no, so the appointment stands.
A week later Clinton receives Saddam in the Oval Office, and as Saddam sits down, he sees three buttons in the arm-rest of Clinton's chair.
As the meeting goes on, Saddam sees Clinton press the first button, and so he ducks really fast, but nothing happens. This doesn't stop Clinton from giggling.
Clinton continues where he left off, then presses another button. Saddam reacts quickly, jumping to his feet. Absolutely nothing happens, but this time Clinton falls out of his chair laughing. Saddam doesn't get it - what the hell is going on here?
But he hasn't been harmed yet, so he sits down again to talk further. After a few minutes Clinton presses the final button. This time, Saddam stays sitting, but Clinton isn't: He's is rolling on the floor, doubled up in laughter. Saddam is really annoyed by now, so he stands up from his chair and shouts: "I've had enough of this, I'm going back to Baghdad!"
(Through tears of laughter from the floor) - "Baghdad? .....what Baghdad?"
