One narcissus among the ordinary beautiful
flowers, one unlike all the others! She pulled,
stooped to pull harder --
when, sprung out of the earth
on his glittering terrible
carriage, he claimed his due.
It is finished. No one heard her.
No one! She had strayed from the herd.
(Remember: go straight to school.
This is important, stop fooling around!
Don't answer to strangers. Stick
with your playmates. Keep your eyes down.)
This is how easily the pit
opens. This is how one foot sinks into the ground.
The Narcissus Flower
I remember my foot in its frivolous slipper,
a frightened bird . . . not the earth unzipped
but the way I could see my own fingers and hear
myself scream as the blossom incinerated.
And though nothing could chasten
the plunge, this man
adamant as a knife easing into
the humblest crevice, I found myself at
the center of a calm so pure, it was hate.
The mystery is, you can eat fear
before fear eats you,
you can live beyond dying --
and become a queen
whom nothing surprises.
I am the daughter who went out with the girls,
never checked back in and nothing marked my "last
known whereabouts," not a single glistening petal.
Horror is partial; it keeps you going. A lost
child is a fact hardening around its absence,
a knot in the breast purring Touch, and I will
come true. I was "returned," I watched her
watch as I babbled It could have been worse. . . .
Who can tell
what penetrates? Pity is the brutal
discipline. Now I understand she can never
die, just as nothing can bring me back --
I am the one who comes and goes;
I am the footfall that hovers.