Chapter 1

Hoffman was one day in a class known as media arts, this class he loved very much because it was a slacker class, and oh how hoffman LOVED to slack.  So, one day as he sat doing his project he noticed school had ended, "Hmm, I better leave or else I may miss my soaps, I can't miss The Young and the Restless...or the awsome General Hostpital!!!"

Hoffman lazily wondered out of the school and halfway home he suddenly felt the ground rumble...seconds later he noticed all the telephone poles, all the houses, every piece of technology disapear!  Now what would he do?

Seconds later the terrain returned to a terrifyingly natural type, only forest, meadows, and swamps.
"Crap no TV now I'll actually have to WORK for my living, oh well at least there is no more school."

And thus began the sega of HOFFMAN'S SLACKER ADVENTURES!!!!

Continuing on he began to explore the general area, discovering all sorts of flura and fauna, he wondered down into the area where centeral Abbotsford area used to be.  He bagan to discover others who also been left in this quasy pshyco world, so Hoffman shrugged off the recent event and decided to travel south to see warmer climates and happy mexicans, who also would enjoy  slacking on wonderous Siestas.  Ahhh, how he would enjoy the great years of SLACKING, what he DID best, perhaps he find others to give him what he needed.  Unfortuanetly this recent thought had drained all his energy so he was not looking where he was heading and fell off a hill, rolling a sliping until he was covered in dirt and rubbish.

"Crap!" Said Hoffman as he tryed to clean himself.  Later he decided to stay in the lower mainland for awile, so he set out for the city of Vancouver.  He knew where the highway used to be and set out for it, walking at a stedy pace through the underbrush.  So hours later he had reached the spot where Aldergrove once lay.  And he found a giant FROG!! The frog was very wise, the frog told Hoffman, "You must go and kill the one who has brought this upon mankind.  Go Slacker of Abbotford and kill him, he waits for you in...Buenos Aires, Argentina!!!!"

"Now go slacker!"  And the giant frog dissapeared. Poof!

In amazement Hoffman decided to continue to Vancouver to maybe find some friends, to help him on his journey to what used to be Argintina.  So the following morning with no one in sight, Hoffman set out.  Walking and walking with very little human contact, and living off of berries. Hoffman finally reached the Fraser River, three days later.

Now Hoffman had a new dilema, how would he cross this massive obstruction now that the Port Mann Bridge was no longer?  Hoffman thought and thought until he heard a noise.  The sound of people arriving on the scene, approxamately seven people, carring a canoe, came crashing through the underbrush.  So in three trips they ferried across the vast river.  So then Hoffman continued on along the Fraser toward the sea, after much wondering he reached Burrard Inlet, the seaports, sky scrapers, and huge frieghters were all gone.  Hoffman could make out a massive clearing on the far side of the Fraser. Many people were building cabins and hundreds of small smoke trails were emerging above the tree line.  So, with his gang of temperary friends Hoffman set out for the new town.

As soon as he reached the once great city his new found friends split away and dissapeared into the town.  Hoffman set out to find some new companions.  Shortly later Hoffman heard an anoying sound in his ear.

"Hoffman, hey HOFFMAN!" Said an exited Amrit Mann.  "How are you doing?"

Hoffman cringed in disapointment, "Damnit Amrit, how the heck did you get here??"

"My family decided to set out for this place, I guess we thought with more people here we could get help, and build a new home." Amrit continued on jibbering and jabbering about his PLANS for the future and the new nation of "Amritia".

Hoffman began to ignore Amrit's whining speach, as Amrit moved up and down continuously and flailed his arms excitedly.  Finally Hoffman screamed in annoyance and punched Amrit...then Amrit finally grew silent.

So after much arguing and fretting Amrit agreed to join Hoffman on his Slacker Quest.  Later after gathing some new supplies and clothes they set out for the south, on their great journey to Argentina.

Chapter 2

Many days later after much traveling Hoffman and Amrit finally came into view of Mt. Baker. As they traveled closer and closer they one day heard a tremendous roar from the mountain and looked to see it erupting violently!  They had to make camp for several days until the eruption passed, but even as they traveled toward the no longer existant American boarder they saw the the mountain periodically spew forth a fiery brew of molten lava.

Soon they began to happen upon the American's but just before this, they ran into a wandering Brad Gill who was lost from his family and crying his eyes out.  Amrit slapped Brad in the head and said, "Hey you freak why don't you calm down ,who cares about your family you're coming with us to Amritia!"

"Uhhh...you mean Buenos Aires?" Asked Hoffman.

Before long Hoffman was in a ficious fight with Amrit, later they calmed down and convinced Brad to come with them on their Slacker Quest.  So soon they passed new American settlements where some people had tryed to restructure their lives, as in Vancouver.

They soon grew very hungery for a decent meal and were forced to stop near what used to be Seattle's suburbs, here they worked in various locations for a bed and meals.

Chapter 3

After working in the crowded area the crazed trio continued southward, through desolate untraveled ways, since all the roads were gone they had to do more bush wacking.

One afternoon Bradley Gill, who had been whining that they stop at a town they had passed 2 kilometers back, spotted a movement in the trees, whispering in his barely audible voice he thought himself screaming at Hoffman.  "Hoffman, over there I see something!"

"What Brad?" Hoffman replied.  Brad tried again, after two minutes of this the message was finally recieved.

"Oh yes, I see it too, I think-"  Suddenly ten wild looking males ran out from the bushes screaming and hollaring as they threw a net over the poor encumbered trio.  Amrit leaped up trying to use the streangth he believed he possesed and one of the males push Amrit down like nothing.

Five minutes later Brad, Amrit, and Matt found them selves in a clearing near a camp-fire surrounded by the ten wild males.  Who were eating berries and discussing the fate of their three captives.  "Ron, I think we should make 'em work for us, you know chop wood and stuff."

Another retorted, "No way man we should just EAT 'EM!" Exploding into laughter as he looked at the net.

Amrit leaped to his feet and screamed vile retorts back at the wild males.  Before long he recieved a smack for his noise and finally shut up.  Brad began to cry, and Hoffman shook his head in disgust.

"Yeah they sound like a bunch of loosers, I guess we should put 'em to work in the morning."  With that the males strode off leaving two to guard the net.  Amrit instantly smiled and began to whisper schemes to Hoffman who shrugged and sat there ignoreing Amrit.  Amrit jibbered and jabbered then began to try and escape.  Once again Amrit recieved physical punishment for his idiocy.

After a long night the three had not gotten any real sleep when they were forced to get up and rallied to pursue work, Amrit ran after a mere fifteen minutes labor, followed by Brad and Hoffman, then the four males guarding them. running in and easterly direction they had to stop for Brad who stubled aimlessly and eventually the began to loose ground, before long the four caught up and a vicious battle took place. Fortuanetly they happened upon a small creek as they faught and all three dove in, swept swiftly away the lost the 4 guards, bleeding into the steam the got out several kilometers downstram and lay on the muddy shore moaning in pain.  Standing Hoffman staggered in the bramble mumbling about finding a town to take refuge in.

Chapter 4

It was morning and Hoffman grimaced in pain across the room at Amrit, "You moron, you almost got us killed!" Amrit responded angrily, "I saved us all, you should be thanking me!"

"Shhhhh..." Said Brad as he began to cry once more.

The sad trio had arrived mangled and injured at a small coastal fishing community, since all the boats had been eliminated the village had resorted to old fashioned sail fishing. They had taken pity on Hoffman's group and agreed to house and feed them in exchange for free labour. Hoffman was depress since he had to work, and Amrit was over joyed. This arrangement lasted for nearly a week before Hoffman decided to continue on to Argintina, Amrit and Brad soon followed since they had no other friends.

As they were leaving the town they met an unlikely peer. Tyler Rideout saw them from a window in the village where he had been staying after he was stranded here on vacation. He had a light beard and ran down to greet the trio. After awhile he agreed to go with them and he helped Hoffman with food.

So the new group of four weary travelers set out once more for the south, what advestures would thre have over the next few days, what events would take place? The rugged terrain loomed overhead as nature quickly reclaimed its territory. The travelers struggled on as the sun climbed the icy blue sky.

Chapter 5