Hair Pie? Oh, Sank You!

Revenge of the Nerds is totally the best movie ever made. If you haven't seen it yet, you are missing out. This movie reconfirms (for me, at least) that nerds truly do rule, even if they are mocked for their efforts. In this movie, we see the lovable darlings of Lambda Lambda Lambda (herein refered to as the Tri-Lambs) being persecuted by the mean (and frankly, homoerotic) Alpha Betas. From the outset, just the appearance of the nerds enrages the Alphas. They get kicked out of their dorm when the Alpha's frat house catches on fire (after a lame ass kegger involving pyrotechnics) and are forced to move into the gym. The gym, I tell you! Now what kind of university would do that to the best and brightest of the bunch? Adams College, that's who. At Adams, academics are not considered a high priority (which begs the question...why would these guys be attending in the first place?), football is, and the football coach (played excellently by John Goodman) calls the shots.

The nerds are annoyed at their cramped living quarters, but the gym provides an excellent opportunity for the boys to meet, bond, and decide to band together.

And for all the cruelty that is directed at them, the boys never give up. They decide to form their own fraternity, and are finally granted a charter by the Tri-Lambs, an all black frat that apparently could relate to their problems with persecution. They have a rockin' party at the house to celebrate their new fraternity and not only is their serious jamming going on, but Booger breaks out the doobies and they all get high! Now how cool is that? These guys know how to party! Some of them even get laid, courtesy of the Omega Mus (who all look strangely East German in appearance)!

The penultimate moment for me is when Gilbert seduces Betty Childs, the hot blonde sorority girl who is dating the stud of the Alphas. In what could almost be construed as rape (or at least serious deception bordering on the criminal), he dons the same Darth Vader costume her boyfriend was wearing and has sex with her, only revealing it was he after the deed is done. Unlike most girls who would have freaked and called the cops, Betty, still in the throws of afterglow, asks if all nerds are as good as him. What the fuck is that? But that is the beauty of this film. Reality is suspended and exaggerated all for a good laugh.

However, everyone knows that nerd boys make the best kind of boyfriends. The best relationships I have ever had have all been with nerdy guys (well, except for the computer programmer who had trouble talking about anything that wasn't Java or Perl). They are more in touch with themselves, have lots more to talk about, and are cute and endearing in ways that non-nerds just never can be. And the boys of Lambda Lambda Lambda are just that. Go nerds!