One Sweet Day

Written By Me!

“J, I gotta go out for a little bit,” Heidi called out to him as she went out the door of the flat that they shared together.

“Where are you…. Going?” J asked too slowly. He knew in his heart where she was going but could not bring himself to believe that she was actually doing this to herself. He sighed, flopping down on the couch behind him where he had been busy cuddling with Heidi only minutes earlier until she felt the craving come around again. She always felt the craving, more constantly now than ever before. It seemed to be taking control over her life, although she never dared to admit it, especially not around her beloved J. That would be showing signs of weakness, something she could never bring herself to do.

“Hey J mate, what’s up with you?” Sean asked coming in the door, he never bothered to knock knowing if he did, J wouldn’t answer anyway. He sighed deeply, tears starting to well up in his eyes but he would never show them, not to Sean at least. Only Heidi had seen him cry, only once though when he had begged and pleaded with her stop torturing herself. But she never listened, she just went out. She always went out.

“She’s out again. I’m afraid this will be one of the last times too,” J replied almost subconsciously, forcing himself to accept the fate that was being put upon him. He was too young to experience this, any age was too young to face this.

“You need to get her help,” Sean replied sullenly, he knew how much she meant to J. That was why he could never leave her. Aside from her cravings she was a decent person inside. She helped out with under-privileged children at the youth shelter, that was where he had first met her. But that was before the cravings. The cravings took everything away. Everything but her sense of humour, and her physical attractiveness towards him. He knew if she could only stop that she would be the same person he first fell in love with rather than the one he loves but will not be able to keep her much longer.

“She won’t go, you know that,” J responded calmly, almost expecting something to magically happen, an idea to pop into his head that would solve both of their problems.

“You ever tell her how much you love her, how much you don’t want to lose her? She needs confidence,” Sean commented, knowing it still wouldn’t work but that was how things were. She wasn’t going to get better. Better was not an option for her, not an easy one at least.

“I tell her. Every minute, every minute of every day. I tell her. I tell her how beautiful it is and she just goes off. She needs to satisfy those cravings,” J heeded. He used to think she was coming a long way from where she had originally started off but things progressively got worse and worse. Now they were bad, almost incurable. But if anyone could pull through it, he knew Heidi could. She only needed to try but that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to continue, continue on her path of destruction.

“J there is a phone call for you. It’s Heidi, well kinda,” Scott announced, holding the cordless in his hand. He didn’t know what was going on. He was clueless, only Sean and himself knew. J’s stomach lurched, fearing the worst of the phone call. Usually they were nothing but this time he felt differently.

“Heidi?” J said unknowingly, hoping the voice at the other end would be her sweet and soothing one.

“Hi J!” she replied happily. She had fulfilled her craving, for now at least. Another one would come along soon and he could almost bet she hadn’t gotten extra.

“Are you coming home?” J asked apprehensively. Hope welled up inside him, continuously growing with each waiting moment of silence between the two of them.

“Not yet I don’t think. Just wanted to let you know that I am okay,” she responded happily, an unusual voice that J had not heard in awhile. It was in a way soothing for him to hear that voice although it was unclear to him as to why.

“Please come home, come home and stay home. You have to stop this!” J blurted out uncontrollably. His emotions had finally taken control of him, he was unable to stop crying as the phone on the other end hung up leaving a constant dial going until Sean finally picked the phone up out of his friends hand and hung up.

“She’s not going to get better,” J mumbled, sliding down to the floor. It was not right for such an out-going person to succumb to this tragic lifestyle. Sean stared at him in silence for a few minutes, finally leaving his friend alone to clear his head. He knew that was what J would want.

“She’s not going to get better,” J mumbled one last time, the crying subsiding a little but still there after the months of holding it in.

“Uh J, there is another phone call for you. This one is more urgent,” Sean said, passing J the phone gently. You could see the fear on Sean’s face, J already knew the outcome.

“Hello?” he answered, knowing Heidi would not be on the other line.

“Is this Mr. Jason Brown?” a deep sorrowful voice on the other end asked. That was the final clue, he knew know it was over.

“Yes this is,” he answered automatically. It was always like that with these phone calls. She had been to this place before but never had this guy talked to him.

“I am sorry to say that it has finally taken over her body. She’s not gonna make it much longer. I suggest you come down and see her if you need to before it is too late,” the voice said before hanging up. The click rang constantly in his head. That would be the last time they would call him, the last time he would hear that click.

He drove to the hospital, speeding, yet driving carefully as to at least get him there safely so he could see her one last time. After that he didn’t care if he got killed in a crash. She would be gone too, then they could be together, forever where the cravings would be no more.

“Where is she?” he asked the nurses at the front desk almost demandingly. The maniacal look on his face one that had never been exposed before.

“Room 555 J,” the doctor on the phone told him, pointing towards the intensive care. He ran there, ran as fast as his legs cared to take him. He could feel the death lurking around every corner, knowing it would reach Heidi in no time at all.

He walked in calmly, in case by some miracle that she could be awake, he didn’t want her to see him so desperately trying to reach him.

She looked pale, deathly pale. Deathly thin as well, something that had been coming for a long time.

“Please, why do you have to leave me?” J asked, grasping her hand like he’ll never let go. “You never gave me the chance to say good-bye, say it face-to-face where you can hear me. Where you can say I love you back,” J said solemnly. He knew she would never hear him say these words but it was worth the last effort. She needed to know how much he cared for and loved her.

“She’s gone,” the doctor said, who had been standing behind him. He had noticed the line go flat. The presence in the room was unearthly, J could feel her soul leave. Feel it rise up to heaven where she belonged, where he hoped they would meet.

“I’m sorry J. Her eating disorder took over. There was nothing to stop the bulimia that had controlled her life,” Sean said hugging his friend. He had come over after J, hearing the news before handing the phone to J.

“It’s not your fault. At least she’s gonna be able to live her life better and healthier up there,” J responded, in a trance-like state. He walked back to his car, making a quick stop to place a phone call, not wanting to face anybody right now. He needed to be on his own, needed to think. The memories were flooding back, bringing tears to his eyes. He desperately tried to control the car until he got up to Paradise point. That was where they had gone on their 1 year anniversary. He parked the car, wanting to end his life just like Heidi had in a way taken hers. He sat in the seat, staring out at the crystal ocean before him, Heidi’s favourite place. The radio’s music played along, ending only for the DJ.

“Now here is a song for all of you that have lost loved ones recently. Heidi, this is for you from J” the DJ announced as the song started playing. J looked up, the tears subsiding, he knew everything would be alright. He turned around in his car, prepared to start life over with Heidi in his heart. He knew he would never love someone as much as he loved her, but he still had his life to live. He had to live it for her, to keep her memory alive.