*Forever*

The tires skidded dangerously as Drew swerved the steering wheel in panic, trying to dodge the huge truck looming up ahead. He watched in horror as the truck threatened to crush him, and his hands flew up in front of his face in a feeble attempt to protect himself.

“Nooooo!” he screamed.

“Drew! Drew, wake up!” He felt someone gently shaking him. He finally opened his eyes in a cold sweat, breathing heavily as the memories came rushing back, threatening to overwhelm him once again. His brother Nick was hovering over him with a worried look on his face.

“Drew, you okay?”

Drew shook his head slightly, and tried to calm himself down. “It was just a dream…it was just a dream,” he murmured to himself.

Nick scrutinized him anxiously. “You have that nightmare every night. I’m worried about you. Maybe you should see a psychiatrist, you know, to sort your feelings out or whatever.”

“No, I don’t need some New-Age shrink analyzing me. I’m fine by myself,” Drew said.

Nick sighed exasperatedly. “You’ve got to pull yourself together sometime, Drew. You can’t keep moping forever.”

“I know that,” Drew replied, feeling irritated. “But I don’t feel like it right now, ok? I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. I just want to be alone.”

“But – “

“I said, stay out of my business.”

“Fine, have it your way,” Nick said, making his way to the door. He paused just before he stepped out. “Remember, Andrea’s gone. Forever. Nothing’s ever going to bring her back,” he said, looking at Drew directly in the eye.

Drew felt a burst of anger as he fixed Nick with a steely glare. “I don’t care. I just want you to get out,” he replied coldly.

Nick left, and almost immediately Drew’s hostile facade crumbled as tears formed in his eyes. As much as he wanted to deny it, Nick was right. Andrea was gone. And it was all his fault.

***FLASHBACK***

“Um, Drew, I know you’re eager to show off your car and all, but there’s this radical new idea called a speeding limit,” Andrea joked as Drew’s brand-new shiny silver BMW zipped around traffic on the busy streets of NYC.

Drew laughed easily, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Haven’t heard of it. Besides, Nick will kill me if we show up an hour late like we did last time.”

“I swear you are a madman when it comes to driving.”

Drew grinned. “But that’s what you love about me, right?”

“Hmm…I’m not too sure about that one…”

Drew feigned hurt and turned his hazel puppy-dog eyes to her. “Andreeeeaaa…” he whined.

Andrea laughed. “Okay, okay. I love you even though your manic driving scares me to death.”

Drew stopped at a red light and planted a quick kiss on her lips, all the while grinning to himself. He couldn’t wait till Andrea found out where they were really going. They weren’t on their way to meet Nick like he’d said they were – instead, Drew had planned a romantic candlelit dinner for two to celebrate their upcoming two-year anniversary – and more. Drew smiled affectionately at Andrea, who had switched on the radio and was now singing softly along with it.

“Drew? Why are you smiling at me so weirdly?” she asked, noticing his expression.

“Oh, nothing,” Drew said, still smiling brightly. He discreetly patted his pocket to make sure the red velvet box was still inside it. In his mind’s eyes, he pictured himself presenting the box to Andrea, and the pleasantly surprised look she would get when she opened the box to find a beautiful sapphire engagement ring nestled inside it. Drew could hardly wait – it would be a night to remember.

“Drew! Watch out!” Andrea suddenly cried out, interrupting his thoughts.

Drew immediately snapped back to reality, and saw a massive truck rushing towards them, its headlights harshly blinding them.

“NOOO!” he screamed in terror.

********

Drew angrily wiped away a tear, willing himself to forget the accident. It still haunted him in his dreams every night, and he was constantly bombarded with memories of Andrea everywhere he went. He couldn’t stand the pain. He had so many things to tell her, so many things he had wanted to do. Although they had been together for so long, Drew had never fully expressed how much he really loved her. He had wanted to show the depths of his love for her by proposing, only…the accident had cruelly tore them apart before he’d had the chance.

Drew stared at the bottle of sleeping pills in his hand. Should he do it? He couldn’t live with the black void in his heart where Andrea used to be when she was still alive. He couldn’t live with the guilt – the knowledge that he had killed his soul mate with his own reckless driving. Drew slowly opened the bottle and gingerly took out a small, white tablet.

He said a silent goodbye to Nick, Jeff, Justin, his family, and all the rest of his friends who had had been there for him his whole life. He could only hope that they would forgive him for what he was doing to himself right now. He popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed, reaching for another.

Somehow, he felt relieved that the hurt inside him with soon subside. He swallowed a second pill and was about to swallow a third when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“Drew.”

He froze. He knew that voice. It was the voice of his angel – his angel. His Andrea.

“Andrea?” he whispered, hoping he wasn’t hallucinating. He turned around, but to his disappointment, no one was there. The voice had only been in his imagination.

“Drew.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the voice to go away. He didn’t need any more reminders of his guilt. “Please, just leave me alone!” he whispered through clenched teeth to the empty room, as the tears began to fall freely down his face.

“Drew, it’s me. Look at me.”

A hand gently touched his, and Drew dared to open his eyes. He felt completely unprepared for the sight in front of him.

“Andrea?” he said in shock. His hazel eyes raked over her, and sure enough, it was Andrea, right down to the endearing smile that he loved. But…how was that possible? His Andrea was gone.

“Oh my God…tell me I’m imagining things. You’re not real,” he whimpered softly, covering his face with his hands.

“Drew, it’s really me. I’m here.”

Drew stared at her. “Oh Lord…Andrea, it’s really you. This is impossible, but I don’t care!” he cried, throwing his arms around her, relishing the warmth of her body against his. “I missed you so much!” he said, covering her face with kisses and hugging her as if he'd never let go.

“I missed you too,” Andrea replied, returning his embrace. She brushed a tear away from his cheek and gazed at him concernedly.

“What have you done to yourself?” she whispered, seeing his puffy eyes and distraught face.

Drew shook his head. “That’s not important. I’m just so glad to have you back.”

However, Andrea’s eyes fell on the opened bottle of sleeping pills on his night table. “Drew, what’s this?”

He looked down at his hands, ashamed. “I…I was feeling guilty about the accident, so I…I…” He couldn’t bring himself to finish the words.

“Oh hun, the accident wasn’t your fault,” Andrea said worriedly, looking directly at him. “Do you understand me? It wasn’t your fault.”

“But if only I hadn’t been driving so fast…” Drew trailed off, blinded by tears.

“You didn’t know a drunk truck driver would go into the wrong lane and ram right into our car. Drew, you have nothing to feel guilty about. I don’t blame you for anything.” Andrea took both his hands in hers. “Promise me you’ll throw out these pills later. And that you’ll start blaming yourself. Will you do that for me?”

Drew nodded. “I promise,” he said softly. Andrea took off the gold heart-shaped locket that she often wore around her neck. “I want you to have this,” she told him.

Drew clasped the delicate necklace in his hand, then slipped his arms around Andrea’s waist. “I love you,” he said, feeling the emotions welling up inside him. “I love you and I always will.”

They kissed deeply, and Drew felt like he was floating on air – he’d never been as happy as he was at that moment. It felt like paradise, having Andrea in his arms again, and feeling her lips against his.

When the kiss ended, they were lying side by side on the bed. “Promise me you’ll never leave me,”

Drew whispered, pulling her close.

“I’ll always be close to you no matter where I am. I'll always be listening…remember that, Drew…and I’ll love you forever.”

Some time later, a noise woke Drew up. A blissful smile curved his lips.

“Andrea,” he murmured, sitting up sleepily. He didn’t hear a reply so he turned around to look for her…but she wasn’t there.

His hazel eyes filled with tears as the realization hit him. “She was never here…it was just another dream…I’m along again, just like I always was,” he said softly to the emptiness of the room. His heart wrenched painfully when he realized that it had just been another trick that his mind had played on him. It was just his imagination, a cruel attempt to remind him of his guilt. He sobbed, feeling the happiness draining away and the loneliness and grief washing over him again.

A flash of gold caught the corner of his eye, and Drew looked up. He gasped, feeling his heart skipping a beat as he picked up the tiny, golden object lying on top of his pillow. It was Andrea’s heart-shaped locket.

Drew held it in his hand as he gazed at it in awe.

“She was here…Andrea was really here!” he gasped, astonished. He didn’t know how that had been possible, but it was true. He looked around the room to search for any other signs of Andrea, but instead, his gaze fell upon the sleeping pills sitting on his night table.

Drew remembered his promise to her, and without hesitation, promptly threw the bottle away. Drew now knew that he could go on with his life, even though Andrea wasn’t by his side anymore. A lot of the events that had occurred that night were unexplainable, but he didn’t care. He would move on with his life without Andrea, but he would never forget her. He recalled her last words. “I’ll always be close to you no matter where I am. I’ll always be listening…I love you.” He now understood the true meaning of those words.

Drew smiled through his tears, making a resolve not to give up on himself…because no matter where he was, Andrea would always be nearby, watching over him.