Mi Vida Loca
Goddamn...
This has been one hell of a week, thats all I can say.
My favorite uncle, also godparent, went to the hospital...and he's has diabetes I was told, but I'm not exactly sure what is going on...He blacked out in his living room and he is so lucky that he didn't hit his head on the entertainment center or anything. So that definitly sucked. And then Greg's mom died and my dad wouldn't let me go to the funeral and ooooomg I wanted to see Trevor sooooo bad!!! Dad said he looked good :D Sweetness! LoL so yea, I would kill to see him. Long skater hair yuuuuummmy!! *lustful thoughts* LoL jk jk

On a sadder note, David got expelled...finally. I mean, I can't say any of us were surprised. Twas for sexual harassment. And the girls told the principal that I was one of the girls who he did it to...which I was but really, I don't wanna talk to him about it. I don't want to talk to anyone about it!!! Like they kept asking, 'what did he do to you??' and Im like..shut up you freaks! Why do you care!?!
And then when I tried to tell my mom, she kept asking for details and then kept bringing it up. I'm just like...shut up already!! I told you to get it off my chest, not to tell you everything so you could go gossip!! Its so gross she's all like, 'did he just touch or did he squeeze you?' and I'm like, 'what the hell does it matter?!?! the point is he did it and thats it!!!' And even though he has caused me so much pain these past 3 years, I feel like a part of me was expelled with him because I have grown so close to him and we do know alot about each other and feel so close. And its bad to get close with someone like him, but the point is we've been thru a lot togetha, and I just can't get over the fact that he's gone, and no one except me cares...none of my friends care, their glad. And thats not to say that I'm not glad. I jumped for joy in the bathroom when I heard. I was like, "YIPPEEE!" But now when its actually hit me, im like...'woah'. He's not gonna make his confirmation with us, he's not graduating with us, he's not going to high school next year....I wonder what he's doing right now...I wonder if he cried about it...I'm sure he did...I wonder if he thinks about me...or anyone in my class. I wonder if he thinks I'm one of the girls who told on him. I wonder if he hates me because he thinks that.
Another thing, I'm sure Fr. knows about it, and I wonder if he knows that I'm one of the girls involved. Its gonna be so awkward if he knows...when I talk to him again. I bet Fr. T knows too and that also makes me wonder if he knows that I was involved. Which would be weird, because I sat in silence for three years and I bet they wonder why I didn't say anything. But, would you?? Honestly, everyone's like, yea yea I would tell if someone was sexually harassing me! But when your actually in the situation, its just not that easy. You think...would everyone hate me if I told?? Or maybe would anyone believe me...and like I said, how in the hell do you explain someone grabbing you and then continuously asking you about it and attempting it again.
I wonder if my mom is mad that I didn't tell her that David was doing this. And I wonder if David thinks I'm strong enough to say anything about it...I'm sure he knows I didn't because he always made fun of me cuz I'm so shy and stuff. He would purposly make me blush and stuff. I remember when I was taking pix for 8th grade in my cute pink outfit, he watched as I took my picture while everyone else sat and laughed cuz the old lady was like groping me, he sat and watched me take my pic...its so weird. I wish someone could help me, but I don't know. If I can't tell my own mother how awkward this is, how would I tell a counsler?? I so wish that I could talk to our counsler...but I dont want to have my rents sign the slip b/c they be like, "are you suicidal?!?!" and I'll get the 3rd degree. I PLEAD THE 5th!!!
LoL as I look back on my last few blogs, I realize I got so screwed in my eight grade year. I can't wait till spring break, cuz God knows I need a break badly.
Not to say that my class is anything new to expulsion. Lena got expelled at the beginning of the year for bringing beer to school and passing it off as lemonade. She's gone too. That was ooo a touchy subject for the longest time...damn, its still is!! No one speaks of her anymore. I bet the same will happen to David...only 30 days left of school tho, so no one really has time to go, "woah woah...David really is gone." I do tho...I guess the bottom line is that yes, David is gone, and he's not coming back.
~Kel
"Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time
To waste, Asking why

I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride"
~Trapt, Echo
...and...for other reasons I have not listed hear, I must quote Usher...
"When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might ruin you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know its best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn"
~Usher, Burn

Please, someone out there, help me.

No, you enter a title here
Wow, I just don't know where to start!!! So much has gone on since the last time I blogged...sheesh.

[x] First off, the janitor is still freaking us out and we seriously are scared out of our minds. No lie. I ran into the door the other day b/c we were on our way to church and he was cleaning the windows and he was flat out starring at Kolleen, Manda, and I. We're all really scared. But it was hilarious because the next day, we shut him in the closet!! LMAO! Omg it was so foonay. The only thing is, I'm sure he knows we're so freaked out about him. Because whenever we see him we're usually in the bathroom and someone will come in and go, "OMG ITS THE JANITOOOOOR!" So yea, but for the record, we're still officially freaked out.

[x] Algebra is actually going pretty well. I just finished my test today, so we shall see how it went. I had a good feeling about it, so keep your fingers crossed, and I'll keep you posted!!!

[x] Science Fair was TODAY! It actually went pretty well!!! I got all 5's on my judging sheet, while a lot of other people got mostly 5's but some 4's. The funny thing is though, that Mrs. B made a HUGE deal about Allegra's science fair project and she still got 2 4's. That sort of makes me laugh, considering she didn't seem at all excited about mine. I guess everything could go all flippy-floppy on me tho, and I still might not place. But I'm soooo hoping that I do, because how awsome would that really be?!?

[x] Last night, I went to Cullen, which is actually going very well, and we are making a lot alot of progress, which is awsome. So yea. He also...is...weird, if you catch my drift.

[x] I sort of have a problem. Last night, I went shopping for track shoes with muh mom. We went to this one store, and the guy was totally hitting on me in front of my mom. And I mean, this all used to be so awsome when I could make a whole group of guys turn and stare as I walked by. I mean, I do feel special and its not like I don't like it, but its weird like when I'm with my family and stuff. And when we go out with Fr. Omg its awkward as hell. And today, I went to Oberwise with my friends and I was wearing these black pants which were mostly hip-huggers. Amanda, Kolleen and I were flirting with this one guy, but it was all innocent and stuff. Not like we really wanna date him or anything, just goofing around. (lol he looked like Stuart from Mad TV and we wanted him to do the voice...lmao he wouldn't do it tho! We'll work on him...) But as we were walking out, the one other guy whom we were talking to was all like, checking me out and Erika goes, "OMG KELLI THAT GUY JUST TOTALLY CHECKED OUT YOUR BUTT!!!" And I'm like...woah woah could you say it any louder?? Plus, all my friends probably think I'm some sort of slut, but its not like I can help it. Its sort of getting old tho. Like boys at school don't do it and thats where I want it, not from some stranger who I'll never see again in my whole life. I freaking don't get it.

[x] I am so happy that science fair is over. The only sad thing is that I graduate in about 39 days. I'm so sad :(( I love my class more than anything in the world. I mean, we've been this core group since kindergarten, I kid you not. And now we're going to graduate and never see each other again. High school is going to be a whole new world, and I don't want to go there. I will never hear David's perverted comments in my ear, or have Alex act like an idiot, thinking the bee was on him (lmao, u had to be there) And going into the bathroom after lunch...jumping out of the stalls at my friends... doing nothingness so we don't have to go outside. These are the things I'm going to miss so much and I'll never have them back. I mean, maybe I'll make better friends in high school, but I'll never have this 'core-group' which I've had for so long...the security of knowing everthing about one another will be gone. And then what will happen? If I can't give a presentation in front of my best friends, how am I going to do it in front of complete strangers who will be judging me the whole way through? Will I make it to the top of popularity? Am I smart enough for all those honors classes I've been reccomended to take? Will I look fat in my new uniforms? Will everyone like me? Will I get a boyfriend who's more interested in my mind than my looks? Will I get a boyfriend period? Will I end up being an outkast? And if I do, what will happen to all my friends? Will they still like me? But most importantly, what is going to happen to all of my friends, my core-group, and the people who have been there for me through thick and thin, until May 29, the day of graduation? Will I ever know?

"As we go on, we remember, all the times we've had together, and as our lives change, come whatever, we will still be friends forever."

Ventage
*~* First, I would like to clarify that I only blog when I'm in a bad mood, so I'm really not a b*tch, because I know if your reading this, thats what your thinking.

*~* Secondly, I went to the orthodonist yesterday, and he said I would need braces on the front 6 top row of my teeth. Can you imagine how dorky I am going to look? Seriously! I think I like the space! TRADEMARK!!!

*~* We saw "Jesus Christ Superstar" today. I personally did not like it, especially after seeing "The Passion of the Christ." The superstar one portrayed Jesus as a mean person, and that really really bothered me. They showed him yelling a lot, and I personally don't believe he did that. I'm sure at one point he yelled, but he was pure of heart, and I'm almost positive that he was much nicer than what they showed.

*~* Yesterday in church, the whole class was talking (but not to the point where it was REALLY REALLY REALLY disruptive) and Mrs. B. saw us and started yelling at the whole class and then went and told on us! Apperantly she blew it out of proportion because then Mrs. Beyrel came over to church and just gave us this look. And I was soooo scared omg. We had to sit in silence for History and Science. It made me really upset. We also had to write a 500 word essay on respect. And all thats happened in these past 2 days is a lot of yelling. At least we have tomorrow off :)

*~* Steve FINALLY noticed me at practice!!!!!! I was so happy! I mean, he actually took me aside and helped me on blocking and such. I was like...woah woah. Did you eat my coach?!!

*~* Grades for the 3rd quarter closed today! Yikes. I'm so scared for my report card. I mean, I really haven't had the time to pay an extra amount of attention to my grades. Damn, I hope they turn out good.

*~* Peektures this Friday, and I'm scared out of my mind. I don't know what to wear!!! AAAH! So many things could go wrong, I just don't know where to start!!!

"Forgive me father, why should you bother? Try honesty, try honesty."
~Try Honesty - Billy Talent

Thank God this week is over!!!
I almost had the worst week of my entire life. Everything went wrong, and when I say everything...I'm not kidding at all.

I had to serve 7 AM mass this week, and with volleyball and everything goin on, I was sooooo tired. So I was a b*tch all week, and I'm sorry for it, but I can't really help it :(

Here't the big thing: My friends and I like to talk to the janitor because he seems kind of lonley. So on Tuesday, we saw his car so we went a'lookin for him. We found him in the cafeteria, so we just went to say hi. He started babbling about something and I had no clue what he was saying because of how heavy his accent is. I just nodded in agreement because all I understood was something about pictures, the teacher, principal, and how his shift started at 3:00 p.m. now. And then he started talking about how this was all a big secret between us 3 and him. I thought it was pretty cool at the time. I mean, I had a secret with the janitor!! How many people could say that? And then he started telling us that we were beautiful and stuff...we were women of beauty because of our kindness and such. He finally let us go, but not before making us promise not to say anything. As we went up the stairs he followed us saying we were beautiful creatures. I was a lil freaked out, until my friend clued me in on what he was talking about. He wanted a picture of us for his records or something, and our teacher wouldn't give him one because she thinks he has problems.... I know, it may not seem like its that big of a thing, but a feeling of security is really gone when I see his car now. Who knows, he could be planning a rape on any person in that school and I would feel terrible because I knew...! What am I supposed to do, I can't hold this in forever!! Its really insane...!

I have so much going on I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep up with everything. I was talking to someone today about high school, and they were talking about how the school I chose screwed them over so many times. i'm so scared. I'm stressing over whether I made the right decision or not :( What if I'm supposed to be at Rosary? I really hope I chose correctly, b/c latley, all I've heard is bad things about Central. Hmm...Now I'm all stressed.

Not like stress is anything new to me. Someone mentioned something to me today. They called it a "day off." I think its some kind of Greek dish or something...hmm ponder ponder
"Deep inside your soul there's a hole you don't wanna see..every single day what you say makes no sense to me....can't get my head around you...!"
~The Offspring, Can't Get My Head Around You

My Peektures
I just put one pic of me in here but I figured if anyone actually knows this exists, they might like to see it.

Peekture
Enjoy

Why I am pissed today:
Its Sunday, and I had a volleball tournament at EA. Do you really want to know how it went? Or should I save you the pain? It ferking sucked. My God. If it went any worse I think I would have broke down and cried. Ok, so the first match, I missed all of my serves which really pissed me off. So I'm pissed as it is and my ENTIRE family is there. No joke. Brian, Lynn, Lexi, Jane, and my dad were all there. So I was so mad that everyone saw me playing at my worst. So Bastardo Steve goes, "Serve underhand this game." So I'm like fine. So I did and it went better. But I felt bad because I was serving underhand lalalala...! So I'm still pissed, but then we won that game. Then the next game, I served overhand because I thought I could do it and Steve didn't say that I shouldn't/couldn't. And I made one in and he didn't say anything...I missed the next one. Lauren was the libero so I had to rotate out and as I'm coming out Steve goes, "DID I TELL YOU TO SERVE OVERHAND?!?" And I was just like, "I forgot, sorry." WTF!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO READ YOUR MIND?!!?!?! AND IS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO SCREAM AT ME IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE GYM!?! YOU FERKING LOSER! GOD I HATE STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS VOLLEYBALL SEASON IS OVER AND I NEXT YEAR I AM

NOT

PLAYING FOR PAZAZZ!!! I WILL FIND ANOTHER CLUB WITH A PERSON WHO ACTUALLY CAN COACH AND I WILL SHOVE THE BALL DOWN THAT BASTARDS THROAT!!! FERK!
"But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love"
~The Lost Prophets - Last Train Home

Just got back from Iowa!!!
HELLOOOOOOOO! I still haven't finished that story about Sorin and I'm not sure why. I mean, thats like the reason I live my life :D The one about Curtis was pretty awsome cuz he actually live in my town. But I really wish I could see Sorin again. God do I miss him.

On Thursday, my dad, Kris, and I went to St. Ambrose, Knox, and Monmouth Colleges to go lookin. We weren't impressed with Knox, but our tour guide was pretty cute!!! :) lol he was sort of a dumbass tho. lol. We like St. Ambrose and Monmouth, but Monmouth had cuter guys. We actually saw a guy standing in a towel after he got out of the shower! LMFAO! Twas so hilarious!!! It was so hard to walk past him without laughing! LoL! But we just got back, so yea!

Last Thursday, I was standing in the hallway waiting for Mrs. E to come get a volleyball so I could do my presentation and David was comin down the stairs and I thought I heard him go "OOOW!" So I was like, 'What did you do now?" And he goes, "Wha?" And it went on like that for a lil while and then he slapped my cheek, just kiddin around like we do. And so I slapped him back and then he grabbed me! I am so pissed at him, but how am I supposed to tell him! I called him a bastard but mrs. penkala was right there so I decided not to go any further with that. :) But I'm so upset with him. :((

I think I'm going to finish my story and then head on out of here. See ya lataz!!
Oh, by the way, I just got my results back for my test for HS. I DID SO GOOD!!! Algebra I honors, English I honors, Physical Science I honors, and a foreign language. I'm not sure what I'm gonna take for my electives yet and i'm so scared I have to decide by TUESDAY!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Plus, I'm not even gonna take phys. science, I'm gonna end up taking Biology my first year. I wanna take home ec. and art I aaaaaaaaaaaaaand....History World War I and World War II...I gotta decide by tuesday and there's so much I wanna do, how am I gonna do it all in four years?!?!?! At least things are going well with Cullen...!
"Sadie Hawkins Dance..in my khaki pants! There's nothin better! OH OH OH! The girls ask the guys its always a surprise, there's nothin better, baby do you like my sweater?!"
~Relient K - Sadie Hawkins Dance

Holy Bajeebus I haven't written in here in like...forever!!!
Well...A few interestin goin on's have happened that I should say.

First off, I wrote the story about Sorin, but I hafta finish it off. I'll post it soon.

Secondly, last Sunday my family and I were at the resturant. There was this cute guy there and I sorta looked ova at him and he just smiled and said hello. And it turns out, my mom knew his mom cuz they apparantly used to work together. So then as they were talkin he comes over to me and goes, "Hey, so your Kelli?" And I'm like, "yea...!" And he's like, "I'm Curtis." And he shakes my hand. I was like all estatic!!! And then he's like, "So you come here often?" And I'm like, 'Yea here all the time." And he goes, "Kool Kool. So would it be alright if I got your number...so I could like call you sometime...get to know u better?" And I'm like not thinking at all so I go, "Sure!" And I was just thinkin like, 'he's kidding and he won't take my number." So I turn around and my dad and Kris are sitting there laughin their arses off and I turn around and he got a pen and is all ready to write it down. So I'm just like "heh...umm...would it be alright if I took your number so I could like...call you?" And he goes "Sure." And he wrote it down, winks, and walks away. EXCITING!!!!

The only problem is that I'm really don't think I'm all that attractive. I guess maybe...but not really. I get a LOT a LOT of attention from other people...not guys at school...but older guys. Tis kind of weird...and I don't really like it. B/C I wuz at da mall and my friend was like, 'Hey that guy was just lookin at you!!!' or 'Woah! He was lickin his lips while watchin you!'
Kind of creepy. I also feel slutty. :(
"What would people do if they knew I was a Jesus freak? What would people do if they knew that its true? I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak. There ain't no disguising the truth."
~DC Talk - Jesus Freak

Have a good night Sorin!
Hey hey hey all! I'm baaaaaaaaaack from Wisconsin and I had the best time ever! Wow I have a great story too. And it makes me really sad to tell it. It's about this guy I met while we were there. Well, at first I didn't really notice that he was lookin at me. He was pushin me and muh fam down the slide, nothing spectacular tho. When I realized As we were riding around the lazy river, I realized that he was lookin at me. Every time we went around he would look right into my eyes. He never smiled tho. That kind of made me mad. LoL. Anyway, after the lifeguarding shift changed he was in the lil kids pool so Kris and I went into the hot tub. We were in there for about 10 minutes and we decided to go into the big pool to play some water-basketball. Every now and then he would glance over from the lil kids pool into the big pool. And usually I'd be watching him drooling. Ha. But then the best thing happened! I was so excited. He was going to be watching the pool i was in!!! So I was like bouncin off the walls, right??? I mean, every now and then he would just stop and stare at me. I felt on top of the world. Most of the time I would miss the basket if I shot for it, but once when I made it he looked over at me, smiled, and gave me a thumbs up. I was laughing and I returned both. I was so happy. So then I was trying to be impressive. Every time I would purposly try to push the ball in front of his chair so I could swim on over there. Usually he would blush a little and look away though. I thought that was cute!!! So then the ball bounced out of the pool and I was like, "OMG THIS IS MY CHANCE TO REALLY SHOW OFF!" So I jumped out of the pool and I was going to slooooooowly, but seductivly going to make my way back into the pool. LoL Obviously that didn't work. I missed a stair and went flying into the pool so me and Kris were rolling b/c we were laughing so hard. So after a little more flirting with the eyes of course, it was 10:00 p.m. So I was sort of upset because we had to get out of the pool. I wanted to steal one more glance so I was "having problems putting my socks on." He was talking to one of his friends so I was REALLY HAVING PROBLEMS! :) His friend walks away and he bends over to pick up his stuff and he looks at me and mouths something. It seriously felt like my heart was in my throat. My stomach dropped to the floor. I didn't understand so I mouthed back, "What???" And he said it again. I really did not think he was talking to me so I turned around to check. Kris goes, "Was he talking to you?!?!" And I was like, "I think so!! OMG I HAVE TO FIND OUT WHAT HE SAID!!!!" And Kris goes, "Noooo!" And I was like, "oh please kris! Please!!" And I was begging to the point of tears and she goes, "Fine, but I'm waiting for you by the elevator." And I'm like "Fine whatever." Omg, I really couldn't believe it. I was actually doing something for myself! I was so excited!! So I walked down the hallway thing and I was looking for him. I couldn't see him, so just as I was about to walk away, he came out of the lifeguards locker room. I was about to die! I couldn't think of what to say so I just kind of stood there for a minute. I finally managed to whisper, "What did you say?" And it all happened in slow motion, but then it seemed like it was over before it even started. He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled me soooo close to him and said, "I said to have a good night."
Honest to God, I have no idea what I said after that. All I remember is walking out to the elevator and yelling, "HE SAID TO HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!!!" Only to have a few people starring at me. Which is quite alright with me, because the feeling I get every time I tell that story is so pricless. You have no idea, and you will never know what I feel when I tell you that. *sigh* So this is love?
"And years have gone by, but I'm still as much in love as I was that night. The sun still shines, the moon still glows, can someone tell me where did my love go? The world still turns, I still believe, he's somewhere out there lookin out for me."
~LFO - I have no idea what the song is called. lol

Wow..!
Kris and I actually did not fight at all today!! We had a very pleasant conversation, and for once, she was acting like the older sister!!! Its great! It wont last for long tho :))

I still haven't finished my report and I really should have it in by monday :(((((((((

I need to call Cullen!! AAAAAaaaAAAH! I dont want to :'(

See ya!
Keep rockin the free world,
Kel
"Chi town put it on the flo Chi town put it on the floor!!!"