I'm so bored.
My hands are sticky from cleaning up afer my sister. I'm *sort of* waiting for my cake to cool so I can frost it. Blah. Boredness. I'm also waiting for the hot water heater to heat up so I can take a shower. I have to go to breakfast with my drunken aunt and uncle tomorrow and I'm sure they will tell me that my skirt is "too short" and that my top is "too low" and that I'm "too young to wear stuff like that" and that I "look like a slut". Damn, I am so looking forward to that...!
My mom got hammered tonight. Lmao Omg it was hilarious, I've never seen her like that before. Trust me, my mom is awsome and I love her to death but omg she was like on the verge of being drunk. It was funny. She's a good Christian woman, but hey, on the epiphany of all Saturdays, its cool if you get drunk. LMao. Riot.
Today tho, we were out at the mall and I got the lecture. No not "THAT" lecture, you perv, but the one about how its so wrong that I look so much older than I am and how if I wear stuff that makes me look good its ok for my family to call me a slut (ok not in so many words, but thats what they were hinting at) Like we were at this one store and my sis tried on this shirt and it looked like it was pulling in her chest area and I'm like, "I think its just a lil wrinkled." And my mom is like, "kris, pull it down and then let it go" and so she did and it in fact was pulling and I'm like, "oooh, maybe you just need one size bigger." and kris goes, "hey, it works for kel." and my mom actually laughed!!! I was like...omg how flipping rude is that!? Seriously. And then I tried on this one shirt that my MOM picked out, mind you, and I absolutly fell in love with it and it was black, and I do look older when I wear black (I look older than I am when I wear anything, but its not like I can help it) and when I told my mom how much I loved it, she made me try it on and she goes, "absolutly not!" and Im like why, and she goes, "it comes down too low (which it did, (i liked it) so I don't blame her for that, I wouldn't have let my daughter wear it either) and it makes you look older." and then she goes into this whole thing, "why do you want to look older, why can you just dress like a 13 year old?! I want you to look like a little girl!!!"
Seriously...I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for a 'pretty face' or to be more mature at such an age. I didn't want to grow up this fast, it just sort of happened. I'm not sheltered from the outside world like some people are, and so I just was able to grow up a little faster. I can't help it and I'm sorry but I didn't know it was a sin to be somewhat cute. I don't know if my mom is just upset that all of a sudden her little girl is getting attention from boys but whatever her problem is, she just better let it go. Another thing that bothers me is that people judge me when they see me and tell my parents that I am going to be trouble when I grow up, just cuz I'm cute. I'm like..wow mature, judging people by the way they look...niiice. But I'm used to it by now....
Anyway, I still feel bad for my dad, and I hope he's gonna be ok. I think he's depressed...and I'm not helping at all, even though I try so hard.
I need help too..
"The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are, I never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here
Still here"
Vertical Horizon - I'm Still Here
Keep rockin the free world,
*~*~*~KeLLi~*~*~*