First off, Happy Easter. Even though so far this Easter hasn't been that happy...and its not even Easter yet!!!
I guess the first thing is that I'm unbelievably tired, and I'm going right to bed after this. Aaah the joys of Spring Break!! w00t w00t!!
Today, me and Kris went shopping, which I guess I should know not to do when we're both tired and around this time of the month if you catch my drift...anyway, we got to this one store and she's like, 'ok u get out and see if they have what you need.' and I'm like, "fine, can I have your purse so if they have it I can just buy it while I'm in there?" And she's like, 'sure' and so I got it out and I guess she changed her mind and she like snatched it out of my hand and shes like, 'well u just have to check the price...blah blah blah..." and I'm like 'can I just have it so I only have to make one trip?' and she's like no...So I got out and of course, I was angry...you have to admit you would be too. And I let my anger get the best of me and even though I really did not mean to, I slammed the door. And she like rolled her eyes. And I went in (and the hottest guy in the whole world helped me!!!) and they didn't have it, but when I came back out, she had parked in the very last spot in the whole parking lot and made me walk. And omg I was sooo furious!!! And I'm like, "well that was very Christian-like of you to park in the last spot." and she like...blew up on me and was like, DONT TALK TO ME ABOUT BEING CHRISTIAN LIKE YOUR A HORRIBLE CHRISTIAN!!!! PLUS YOUR SO RUDE TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU NO WONDER EVERYONE HATES YOU! I DONT BLAME THEM AND PLUS YOU COULDN'T GO HALF OF A DAY WITHOUT SAYING SOMETHING SMARTASS TO SOMEONE ELSE I WOULD BET 10 DOLLARS ON IT!
And I'm like....f*ck you.
How in the hell does a sister, someone who is supposed to love you and be your best friend, yell at someone else like that...and put someone else down like that. And so I just stopped talking to her. I'm still mad and everything...and she like brought it up when we were at dinner with my parents tonight and I'm like...leave me alone. God!
Another bad thing is that a friend of our family committed suicide today. I feel horrible. My dad saw him do it...and I feel so awful for him. I knew this man...not very well, but I have seen him just the other day working in his yard when I went running. And I feel so awful cuz I don't think I smiled or waved at him or anything. I wonder if my rudeness added to his desire to kill himself...I hope not...I feel so terrible and I'm so sad :(
His wife...omg she must be so sad. I actually knew her to. I bet she will never be the wonderful woman that she was before...its a tragedy. It really is. And no matter how much I threaten myself with it, I would never ever kill myself. The reasons are threefold:
1.) No matter how much my family pisses me off most of the time, I could never do that to them. I hate seeing people suffer...I always wish I can take their pain away and therefore, I refuse to do something to someone that causes them distress
2.) I want to be someone someday. I want a family and I want a husband that loves me. I want to become a mother. And I have so many dreams of what I could be and I just tell myself that one day I'll make it through and it will be worth it.
3.) I don't have any guts. I could probably have everything planned out, but it would mean sh*t unless someone actually went through with it. And thats where I stop because I don't have any courage like that :) Which I guess is an all around good thing in the long run. So yea
On a happier note, we're on Spring Break, so hopefully I'll be a little less stressed. I dunno if I said this yet, but me, Manda, Legra, and Steph L. are all going to the Incubus/Vines concert...7th row!!!!!! WAhoo!! I cannot wait, it is gonna be so awsome!! It on July 14, which means I have about 3 months to memorize everything I can about Incubus and the Vines. YIPES!
I got 1st place in the Science Fair and my first 100% on an Algebra test! YIPPEEE!!! I completed my Lizzie Borden notecards which is awsome...now I need to do my book report and we'll be set for the end of the year.
Single and lovin it baby!
Seriously, is there a better lifestyle than being single? I love it, honestly I do. If your dating someone, how do you have any fun? I mean, like take today for example. There was this hott busboy and the resurant we went to and he was flirting with his eyes and everything. and if I was dating someone, I could not do that. That would suck. :-P I'm never gettin married...flirtin with all the old guys in the nursing home when im 99. lmao riot!!
Have a good night and a fantastic Easter!!
" So many people like me put so much trust in all your lies
So concerned with what you think to just say what we feel inside
So many people like me walk on eggshells all day long
All I know is that all I want is to feel like I?m not stepped on
There are so many things you say that make me feel you crossed the line
What goes up will surely fall and I?m counting down the time
Cause I?ve had so many standoffs with you it?s about as much as I can stand
So I?m waiting until the upper hand is mine"
~Linkin Park - Hit the floor
*~*~*~KeLLi~*~*~*