The 6:00 News
By Liz
I saw the movie Anchorman...I’ll leave it at that ^_~
***
Yugi: Good Evening...Today is Thursday...I’m Yugi...
Bakura: I’M CURED! HORRAY!
Yugi: ...and this is your 6:00 News. Top story for tonight...
Bakura: I DON’T HAVE TOXO-WHATEVER ANYMORE! YAY!!
Yugi: That’s nice Bakura, but that WASN’T THE TOP STORY!
Bakura: Who cares! It was the most important story!
Yugi: -_-;; Top story for tonight, CEO of Kaiba Corp. Seto Kaiba has recently been charged with murder in the second degree....WHAT!?
Bakura: Kaiba killed someone!? It’s about time!
Yugi: No it’s not! This is horrible!
Bakura: What are you talking about? That guy was ready to snap the moment I kidnapped his brother and tried to sell him off eBay...
Yugi: BAKURA!
Bakura: Whaaaaaat? I was seeing how much money he’d go for!
Yugi: ...well, it says here that the victim was a 16-year-old male with brown hair and does the weather at our news station...O_O
Bakura: HA! HE KILLED TRIGONOMETRY!!!!
Yugi: O_O_O_O_O_O
Malik: He killed Tristan!? NO! NOT TRISTAN!
Bakura: I was wondering why he hadn’t thrown a stapler at me yet...
Yugi: *starts crying*
Bakura: Hey, it’s okay! We’ll find someone else to do the weather!
Yugi: *runs away*
Bakura: What? I WAS TRYING TO HELP FOR ONCE!!!
Malik: You didn’t help anything. In fact, you couldn’t help anything even if you tried your hardest.
Bakura: ...yeah, I know. Ha! Well then, we’ll still have to find another person to do the weather!
Ryou: *on screen* Shut up, Bakura. Today is a sad day for all. Tristan Taylor has been brutally murdered at the hands of Seto Kaiba. *sees Seto coming out of the courthouse* Here he is now, sentenced to life in prison, what a sad day.
Seto: I didn’t kill anyone. TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
Police: I’m sorry, Mr. Kaiba, but they said you were guilty...
Bakura: *laughing*
Malik: That’s not funny Bakura.
Bakura: *laughs harder*
Malik: ...okay, maybe it’s a little funny...
Bakura: *falls off chair*
Malik: ...ha...ha...STOP THIS NOW! IT’S NOT FUNNY!
Bakura: *stops*
Tristan: *walks in* Hey guys.
Malik: Hey Tristan...TRISTAN!?
Tristan: *waves*
Malik: WTF! Aren’t you DEAD!?
Tristan: Nope!
Bakura: Awww...they didn’t kill Trap Door!
Tristan: *throws stapler* MY NAME IS TRISTAN!
Bakura: *gets hit with stapler* OW!
Malik: Yugi’s going to FLIP when he sees you’re alive...wait...how are you alive!?
Tristan: Long story which I will tell later.
Malik: Okay...
Bakura: THERE’S A STAPLE IN MY HEAD!!!
Tristan: So, is it time for the weather yet?
Malik: I do believe so...
Bakura: I CAN’T GET IT OUT!! AUUUGHHH!!!
Tristan: Ahem. For the weather today...it will be partly cloudy with winds ranging from 2 mph to 32,986,489,072,634 mph. It is advised that you stay indoors at all times...if your house blows away...PLEASE stay with it.
Malik: Erm...
Tristan: And for Seto Kaiba, stay in that jail cell of yours ^_~
Malik: YOU FRAMED HIM
Tristan: I might have, I might not have.
Malik: I hope no one important is watching the news right now...
Tristan: ...
Bakura: AHA! I got the staple out of my head!
Tristan: ...*throws book at Bakura*
Bakura: AUUGHH! X_x
Malik: ...ooookay. Time for the extended traffic report! Today, we will go over all the traffic signs and their meanings! *walks over to a different part of the studio. Now, due to many people responding to the survey we had, we now have what the traffic signals SHOULD say.
Red Light: STOP NOW MOTHER FUCKER!
Green Light: GO! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME
Yellow Light: DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SPEEDING UP TO GO THROUGH ME, BITCH!
Malik: And now, here’s what the traffic looks like today. There seems to be an accident on East This Street...a police car has been T-boned by a motorcycle...and the convicted murdered in the police car has escaped.
Tristan: KAIBA!
Malik: Oh dear.
Tristan: THIS IS NOT OVER YET
Malik: ...
Yugi: *runs in* TRISTAN!?
Tristan: Yup...
Yugi: I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!!!
Tristan: I’m not.
Yugi: Then what about Kaiba?
Tristan: I KILL HIM
Yugi: NO!
Tristan: Why not?
Yugi: Because! Killing is BAD
Tristan: He should have thought of that when he killed me!
Yugi: ...
Tristan: *leaves studio*
Yami: *runs in* I HAVE BREAKING NEWS
Yugi: ???
Yami: TRISTAN IS DEAD!! *cries*
Yugi: Uhmm...we heard this news already...and Tristan isn’t dead.
Yami: *stops* He’s not?
Yugi: No.
Yami: ...okay then... uhhhhh....well...
Yugi: Well...?
Yami: Nevermind *walks away*
Yugi: Okay then. Well, I guess we’re going to have Ryou go down to where Kaiba escaped.
Ryou: *on screen* That’s right Yugi! I am here right next to the accident where murderer Seto Kaiba has escaped.
Yugi: Uhhh...he obviously isn’t a murderer anymore...
Ryou: ???
Yugi: Tristan is alive...
Ryou: I see...
Uoyr: *next to Ryou* I am here next to the accident where murderer Seto Kaiba has escaped!
Ryou: O_O
Uoyr: That’s right. And it’s also known that Seto Kaiba in fact did NOT kill Tristan Taylor. It is also known that the crew of “The 6:00 News” has, in fact, helped in the framing of Seto Kaiba and are being investigated.
Ryou: O_O
Screen: *goes blank*
Bakura: *holding remote* Ehehehe...^_^;;
Yugi: BAKURA WHY DID YOU TURN THAT OFF
Bakura: It was boring. *breaks remote* Besides, I have a better story.
Yugi: ...and that would be?
Bakura: Ahem...FOX News reporter Arukab has been released from the hospital a few minutes ago...
Yugi: Oh, that’s good...
Bakura: ...AND WENT RIGHT BACK IN DUE TO AN ASSASSIN TRYING TO KILL HIM MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Yugi: BAKURA THAT’S TERRIBLE!
Bakura: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Yugi: ...
Malik: That’s amusing.
Screen: *mysteriously turns on*
Malik: ??
Kilam: *on screen* The traffic for today is moderate, with accidents ranging from heavy to light.
Malik: ...*throws book at screen* SHUT UP
Screen: *breaks*
Yugi: O_O
Malik: ...
Yugi: WE HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT
Malik: ...oops?
Yugi: That’s coming out of your paycheck
Malik: We volunteered.
Yugi: ...
Malik: ...
Yugi: ...
Malik: ...
Yugi: ...THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!!
Duke: *runs in* OMG
Yugi: WHAT NOW!?
Duke: O_O Uhhmm...here. *hands him paper*
Number of people watching “The 6:00 News”: 4
Number of people watching FOX News: 9,832,652,895,897,263,598,247,433,452,965
Yugi: O_O
Malik: FOUR PEOPLE!?
Yugi: *looks around room* *points* Malik, Bakura, Duke, me....
Cameraman: *sleeping*
Yugi: THEN WHY ARE WE EVEN DOING THIS!?
Duke: *shrug*
Yugi: I think I might quit.
Yami: *runs back in*
Number of people watching “The 6:00 News”: 5
Number of people watching FOX News: 9,832,652,895,897,263,598,247,433,452,964
Yami: ?? Whatever! YUGI! I HAVE A STORY!
Yugi: *sigh* Is it about Arukab and the attempted assassination?
Yami: No!
Yugi: ...
Yami: ...
Yugi: ...
Yami: ...yes
Yugi: We already heard it Yami.
Yami: Darnit!
Seto: *kicks open door*
Number of people watching “The 6:00 News”: 6
Number of people watching FOX News: 9,832,652,895,897,263,598,247,433,452,963
Seto: ...
Yugi: Kaiba! What are you doing here?
Seto: I came to return this *drops Tristan on ground*
Number of people watching “The 6:00 News”: 7
Number of people watching FOX News: 9,832,652,895,897,263,598,247,433,452,962
Tristan: *holding machete* What?
Seto: ...and to tell you all to LEAVE ME ALONE *walks away* *slams door*
Number of people watching “The 6:00 News”: 6
Number of people watching FOX News: 9,832,652,895,897,263,598,247,433,452,963
Tristan: ...REVENGE!!!
Yugi: NO!
Tristan: ...
Yugi: Just leave him alone!
Tristan: Fine...for now...
Yugi: *sigh*
Bakura: Wow, I haven’t said anything in a while...
Yugi: Yes you have been quiet....*hands him story*
Bakura: What!? NOOO!! *takes story* Fine....
Yugi: ^_^
Bakura: *reads* Water problem in
Yugi: Wow.
Bakura: ...*reads more* We have a reporter there now.
Ryou: *appears on different screen* I am here in
Number of people watching “The 6:00 News”: 7
Number of people watching FOX News: 9,832,652,895,897,263,598,247,433,452,962
Liz: I know! MAN! They turned off all the water in our school! No one was aloud to shower after P.E...luckily I don’t take P.E so I was fine...but it was kinda hot outside yesterday, something like 70 degrees...in January too...wow...whatever. Anyways, they put these water cooler things and I swear one said “Corona” our rival school, and they were placed buy all the water fountains. It was weird. People were like “OMFG! I DRANK SOME OF THE WATER!! *panic*” Hahahahahahaha.
Number of people watching “The 6:00 News”: 8
Number of people watching FOX News: 9,832,652,895,897,263,598,247,433,452,961
Ryou: o_O
Liz: ^^
Ryou: Uhmm...back to you in the studio.
Yugi: ...
Number of people watching “The 6:00 News”: 6
Number of people watching FOX News: 9,832,652,895,897,263,598,247,433,452,963
Yugi: DUKE! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MAKE THESE NUMBERS CHANGE!?
Duke: I don’t know...they just started it.
Yugi: Well whatever. Cause I’m ending the news. Tune in next time for “The 6:00 News”...I’m Yugi.
Bakura: I’M YUGI DAMMIT!
Yugi: ...signing off...
Number of people watching “The 6:00 News”: 0
Number of people watching FOX News: 9,832,652,895,897,263,598,247,433,452,969
****
Liz: Mwahahaha! Yes, the water thing IS true. As I am writing this, we are on that warning hehe.
Bakura: HAHAHAHA
Liz: ...anyways...comment if you want! Chingchong221@cox.net
