Yoshiki sat uncomfortably in the seat the nurse had indicated wondering how long he would have to wait. He'd waited nearly nine years for this moment and every extra minute was a further twist to his stomach. His doctor had advised him against the trip but he'd gone swearing he would be the one they saw first.

Cupping his forehead in one hand he thought upon the events that had lead up to this day. In a military coup shortly after the stock market crashed the Prime Minister was replaced by Emperor Hiroshi, a former General turned monarch. On the platform of restoring the nation to its former glory he frightened the stunned public into submission. The first to threaten his rule came from the students but he was ready for them. Any resistance was met with force and everyone put under arrest went to Hiroshi's prison-like boot camps. Knowing these to be his stiffest opponents, beside the outside world, he struck at the things they valued most, their freedom. His use of manpower was so effective he was able to restrict nearly everything. The mission the Emperor took to heart, however, was an attack on media of all kinds. Nothing could quell his fury until anything he viewed to be unhealthy had been properly dealt with and he seemed to believe the music industry to be the worst of them all.

Foreign media called it the Night the Music Died and nothing could have been more true. Indies bands were rounded up and sent to his boot camps. Major labels found their buildings destroyed and their executives arrested. Bands were tracked down and put in jail. Plastic Tree was still trying to dig their vocalist out of the psychiatric community. Some were lucky; Gackt Job had been filming in America at the time and Lucifer had been on vacation.

Dir En Grey had not been so lucky. Hiroshi needed someone to make an example of, someone to show just how ugly punishment could get. The bands' manager had been unable to get them out of the country in time.

The little pet crate at his ankle shook and growled as a nurse walked by. "Shh…" he muttered, slipping a couple of fingers through the spaces along the crate's side.

The government had been working on ways to deal with overpopulation within its prisons before Hiroshi took over and some of their solutions had been brutal indeed. Hiroshi had chosen his particular favorite to make an example out of Dir En Grey. It had been publicly televised and Yoshiki shuddered at the memory. Pata had sent him a copy of what he'd been able to tape. Kaoru's eyes were what haunted the pianist the most, the others had closed their eyes but not Kaoru. Ever the leader his expression promised to watch over his family, his band mates, as the color drained from his face. The slang term for the punishment exacted upon the band was Flash Drying. They'd mastered the technique of keeping the brain and vital systems alive while most of the body's fluids were removed. You didn't need to guard barely living beef jerky and they couldn't complain when you kept them together in close quarters. Yoshiki felt sick and slid his hands over his eyes to block out the light.

"Sir?" Yoshiki looked up at the cute looking nurse that had sneaked up on him. "Sir, if you'd please come with me." Nodding Yoshiki picked up his pet carrier and walked beside the small nurse down the dull gray hallway. "Both refluidation and the following surgeries were successful for all five." The nurse explained and Yoshiki felt a cord of dread loosen around his heart. "Here's a list of the operations that took place." She took a piece of paper from the clipboard under her arm and handed it to him. "In apology for their treatment the government paid for everything." Yoshiki nodded and scanned the list noting that beside the lung transplants the government had also agreed to fix Kyo's hearing and granted laser eye surgery. Glancing at Shinya's short list he frowned and stored that bit of information away for later.

"The doctor is aware you wanted to be there while they woke up but for safety reasons you'll have to remain in the booth with him."

"Safety reasons?" Yoshiki asked quietly.

"The length of time they spent in stasis could have caused deep psychological trauma and we are unsure what the effects will be. Until the doctor is sure they won't do harm to themselves or others you aren't allowed into their rooms."

"What is the booth?" Yoshiki glanced sideways at her.

"A control room connected to theirs by video surveillance." Slowing to a stop she opened a door and gestured him inside.

The booth was just as she said as Yoshiki stepped inside. An arch shaped desk was holding up two computers as well as a series of control panels. Above the computer screens a series of televisions displayed five black voids and several angles of a seemingly central room. The room looked octagonal in shape with a square table bearing a bowl of unidentifiable white cubes and a jug Yoshiki assumed was water. On either side of the table were two fluffy-looking white couches.

"Yoshiki-san." An elderly man stood up and gave a quick bow. "We were just about to begin. Please have a seat."

Giving an appropriate bow Yoshiki sat down beside the doctor. "So how does something like this begin?" he asked calmly, only now discerning the bed-like shapes in the black screens.

"We start by gently bringing up the lights and opening the doors."

*

Open eyes, the same as closed. Pure darkness, pure nothing where always something had been before. Even through closed eyelids there had always been something. Like a frightened child in a cold place he moved and franticly curled up in the corner, soft mattress beneath, hard wall behind, shivering self beneath cotton. How long had it been since he'd felt such a thing? Cautiously, suspiciously he slid two fingers down the smooth surface.

Real or dreaming? In dreaming Grandfather had always walked by. But in the darkness how can I see him? In real there is always noise. The hum of machines, the beeps of heart monitors. Only the sound of his own heart, his own breath. Where were the others? Are they…no! They wouldn’t leave me. Kaoru said they wouldn't leave me. He yelled it when…when…Don't think about it, don't remember such things.

Kaoru said. Kaoru promised. Never alone, never have to deal alone. Kaoru's face, Kaoru's expressions when his favorite songs would come on the radio. Kaoru's jokes when their pictures were in magazines.

Pictures. What pictures could he see in this ink? Where was he? Where were the others? One other. Where was he? Where was the scent of sweat, make-up, cigarettes and fake blood? And where was the laughter, where was their strength? Where was their music?

Real or dreaming? A hum of motion. Where once was darkness now flooded dim gray light. A gap in the black that hurt his eyes. Slowly, slowly, focus returned, a room. Plain, square. A cot, plain, rectangular. Clothes, plain, white. Hands, plain, shaking. No Grandfather, no music. Could it be real? The floor is heated, no one stands in the doorway. The floor is hard, he stands in the doorway.

A colorless room with colorless furniture. White walls, black doorways. A table, couches, a jug of clear water, a bowl of white cubes. Bread? Tofu? Maybe they're giant sugar cubes.

Suddenly color, abruptly movement, without warning Kaoru. White clothes, pale skin, brown eyes, black hair. Where was the brown? Where was the red-honey he once wore? Real or dreaming?

Reaching, moving. Don't leave me. Don't dissolve or shatter. He is moving now, meeting me half way. He is reaching, his eyes still promise, as they always have. Fingers touch, lightning. I wait for him to crumble but instead he moves to catch my hand, to intertwine fingers, to lift one corner of his mouth.

Too good to be true, after all that has happened. He is here. Vision out of focus, warm arms around me, my own choked sobs.

More color, paler then Kaoru. He is still shaking, half hidden by the door frame, brown eyes full of fearful longing. There is our strength. There is our beat. Reaching, he is moving, Kaoru is turning. Fingers touch, lightning but Kaoru stops him from retreating. I from the front, Kaoru from behind, we assure reality, he has no objection but his shaking continues just as my tears do.

Three of five, still two missing. The laughter, the voice. Two black rectangles still empty. Shinya looks up. He will search with me.

Correct on the first try, too small to be our laughter. Still sleeping? Of course still sleeping though his eyes are clamped shut, his knuckles white. He smells clean. I slide up beside him, my whimpers seeking comfort. He shifts only slightly so I may rest on his shoulder, fingers in my short hair. Our voice seems voiceless but I only care for the warmth, for the touch.

*

I was awake when they came, awake when the feeling returned, tingly, like a limb asleep. I was awake when they put us, one by one, on stretchers and only when they put a plastic mask over my face did I sleep again. I did not want to sleep, I was sick and scared of the darkness.

How Toshiya's eyes had pleaded 'be real, be real'. I would not disappoint. I had promised though a smack had tried to silence me. Now he was safe, crying in Kyo's arms.

Shinya, unphasable Shinya, had shaken in our arms like a leaf, suddenly frail just as he looked but had never really been. Now he attempted to control his shiver, to be strong for Die who was worst of them all of them. Clutching Shinya's thin frame and whispering 'I'm sorry' over and over. I know how sorry he is. I know why he is inconsolable in the face of reality, in the warmth of embrace. I was awake then too. I kept my eyes open to watch over them, I promised.

Now I continue to watch over them, scanning this desolate place with its absence of color. Where were they and what should they expect? Looking up into the corner of the room his eyes narrowed. And who was watching on the other side of that security camera?

*

He's fallen asleep beside me, one arm around my middle, dried salty rivers down his cheeks. He respected my vow of silence, not asking, not pressuring. I saw Kaoru outside the room, checking in. I'd seen Shinya out there too. No one acted completely stricken so Die must be out there somewhere. All alive, all together, all my fault.

*

I hurt, I hurt and I can't stop shaking, can't stop apologizing. I'm so sorry everyone. My stomach twists but I can't clear my mind. All I can hear is 'Ando Diesuke, don't you dare! Come back!' I let them down. I let all of them down. Even Shinya who holds me tight and murmurs comfortingly, but it doesn't help. The memories won't go away. The voice won't go away and I can't seem to remember anything before then. Why can't I remember your smile? Why can't I remember? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I gave up.

*

Is the light dimming? Please don't let the light go away. Die is asleep, already consumed by the darkness. His grip is slack. If the light goes away I can run for the central room, maybe the light will stay on there. Of course, they wouldn't turn off all the lights, not when I've been lost in the darkness for so long. They are dimming, I'm sure of it now. The darkness is returning and I'll be alone again. I can't wake up Die, can I? No matter how badly I need him. Let him sleep if he finds comfort there, but not me, I won't let the darkness win.

Shinya slipped away for the central room where Kaoru sat on one couch staring at a glass of water.

The light is dimming here too. Why? Why is it winning? Why must I sit again in the darkness? In the cold, in the noise, in the emptiness? Kaoru said something but I didn't understand. Why is the light going away? I can hear my own panting, my own panic, as I search for some way to stop the light from leaving. Kaoru was suddenly there, around me, whispering. Kaoru will save the light. Please Kaoru, save the light.

Kaoru took me to the couch and sat me down, the light still fading. Quickly he pulled the things off the glass table, the bowl, the jug, the glasses. Light! Embedded in the table, small and gentle, almost green. Kaoru is around me again, warm, not alone. The darkness is everywhere but I have that light and that is all that matters.

*

Kyo, silent. Child-like Toshiya curled up beside him. Die in pain, Shinya attempting to convince him to eat something, anything. Kaoru, ever wary, always awake. Somewhere the whir of a door and Kaoru stood, eyes flicking from door to door. A burst of speed, sound and fur as a puppy appeared like a thing possessed. Recognizing the shape of the dog Shinya kneeled and it went for him. "Puppy." The drummer purred and snuggled the ecstatic creature.

"Yoshiki." Toshiya spotted him first, jumping up to throw his arms around their ex-producer. Even Kyo and Die acted favorably, getting up to greet the man. Last to greet him Kaoru. Leader met leader but Kaoru stepped down to recognize elder dominance. Yoshiki always held dominance and Kaoru allowed himself to relax slightly.

The couches were taken up again and Yoshiki sat next to Kaoru, the four across from them, Chihuahua included, buried quite happily in Shinya's arms. Silence, where to begin?

"This is a special wing of a hospital designed to help the people Hiroshi punished using Flash Drying." Yoshiki began. "They weren't sure what your initial reactions would be to rehydration and believed familiar people who had been through the same thing would be your warmest reception back into the land of the living. That's why there were no doctors, no one there as you awoke. In apology the new government agreed to pay for any regenerative surgery you needed. Four sets of new lungs, Kyo's hearing, no more contact lenses." Yoshiki then looked over at Shinya who's eyes widened with understanding then abruptly with pleading, please don't tell them.

"How long?" Kaoru spoke up. "How long have we been gone?"

Yoshiki let out a breath and met Kaoru's gaze. "Almost nine years." So long? So short? It's hard to tell the passage of time in limbo. Everyone seemed to contemplate the figure, turning it over in their minds.

"I'm supposed to ask what you need, material wise, and try to set up meetings between each of you and the doctors. They want to help you join society again successfully. When you're ready I'll be taking you with me back to America."

Another silence. Need? Doctors? America? Too much… Abruptly Yoshiki seemed to remember something and searched the pockets of his coat. Pulling out a small flashlight he tossed it to Shinya with an encouraging smile. Releasing the Chihuahua for a moment Shinya caught it and smiled his thanks to the fellow drummer.

"Yoshiki." Toshiya spoke up. "May I have some music sheets and a pencil?"

"Of course." Yoshiki nodded.

"I've had a song in my head for a while and I want Kyo to write some lyrics." The rest of Dir En Grey seemed stunned at the idea. To write music again? Toshiya seemed unruffled by their lack of enthusiasm.

"Yoshiki." Kaoru spoke this time. "May I speak to you alone?" At Yoshiki's nod Kaoru lead him to the room he'd awaked in. They both had a seat on the cot and Kaoru gathered his thoughts. "Die won't eat. Kyo won't speak. Shinya's afraid of the dark and Toshiya's acting like a frightened child afraid to be abandoned."

"And what about you?"

Kaoru sighed, obviously hoping he could have kept the conversation from straying towards himself. "I can't sleep. I promised them I'd take care of them and I'm afraid that if I sleep…something will happen to them."

Yoshiki nodded and remained silent for a moment. "You'll have to trust the doctors Kaoru. They want to help."

"I know." Kaoru frowned. "But nine years…" He took a deep breath. "Will you do my a favor? Find the man that saved Die." Yoshiki's brow furrowed in confusion. "They didn't tell you?" Yoshiki shook his head. "When you're in there it's hard to tell when you're awake and when you're dreaming." Kaoru closed his eyes and shuddered. "Sometimes it's mixed together but I know I was awake then. You can hear the beeping of the heart monitors. When I was awake one heart monitor went critical. Suddenly there were people around, trying to start the heart again but it didn't seem to be working. As quickly as they had come they were gone, all but one. One of them remained behind and kept trying." Kaoru took a ragged breath. "He knew Die's name and was yelling at him to come back. Yelling at him not to die. There was nothing I could do." Yoshiki's hand gripped Kaoru's shoulder. "If you could find the man that brought Die back, I'd like to thank him."

"Of course Kaoru." Yoshiki said gently. I'll do everything I can."

Kaoru nodded his thanks and opened his eyes. "One more thing." He turned to look Yoshiki in the eye. "What happened to Miyabi?"

Yoshiki's heart twisted. He knew the question would come but hoped to delay it for as long as possible. Kaoru obviously read the pain in his eyes because his shoulders slumped and he looked away. "Due was still in Indies, they were rounded up and sent to the boot camps. I was able to contact a member of a band in the same camp as them when they were all released. Sakito convinced his band to cooperate and they made their way up the ranks remarkably fast. With rank came privilege and they were allowed to contact their manager in America. One day Hiroshi decided to hold a ceremony to reward them for conforming so well. Hiroshi was so proud, he had found a success story and wanted to show it off." Yoshiki took a deep breath, unsure how to tell the tale properly. "They found their bodies the morning of the ceremony. They'd apparently taken some poison and simply fallen asleep." Yoshiki watched Kaoru for some reaction but none came. "Their families refused to allow autopsies to be preformed and rumor has it their bodies went to America. When I take you home with me we'll try and find out what happened to them."

Kaoru nodded and took another ragged breath. "Tell the doctors we're ready anytime."

"Kaoru?"

"Please. Just leave me alone for a little while."

Yoshiki frowned and nodded, leaving Kaoru's room silently. Stepping once again into the central room Shinya looked up from the couch.

"Yoshiki." He asked. "What happened to Puppy?"

Again Yoshiki's heart twisted. Every comfort he attempted to bring them seemed to get dashed to pieces. "Old age and a broken heart." He replied quietly. "The one you're holding is a great grandchild of Puppy's. Luna named her Misty."

Shinya smiled sadly. "I never had a chance to meet Luna."

"You can, if you like. She'll want to meet you."

"I'd like that."

"Did you think of anything else you needed?"

"Can we write to our parents?" Toshiya asked in a quiet, hopeful voice. Even Kyo seemed to perk at that idea.

Yoshiki flashed a genuine smile. "Of course. I should be able to do even better but I think the doctors will want to meet with all of you first."

"Are they nice?" Toshiya asked innocently.

"Yes, Toshiya. They're very nice." Yoshiki smiled gently and Toshiya smiled back, tightening his hug around Kyo.

*

"Why didn't you tell me Die's heart had stopped?" Yoshiki frowned across the desk at the doctor.

"He was revived, it seem irrelevant." The doctor replied. "They weren't in our care, sir. We had no control over their treatment until now. If it was how Kaoru described it was beyond our control. I will make every attempt to find the technician but please don't direct your anger at me or my staff."

"I just wish you'd told me." Shaking away any ill thoughts Yoshiki changed the subject. "They're ready for your doctors at any time. They're requesting paper and pencils as well as a way to contact their families.

The doctor nodded. "I'm glad we allowed them to waken in the situation we did. They're responding much better than any of our patients who awoke in isolation. After their initial sessions I'll have a set of telecoms installed. If you could get a hold of the numbers for their families and friends."

"Of course."

"Using the information you received from Kaoru it will be easier to help them. With any luck you'll be able to take them home sooner than I originally predicted."

Yoshiki flashed a relieved smile and nodded. "That would be wonderful."

*

Die dragged himself out of sleep, he could hear something he wasn't used too. Almost immediately he regretted consciousness as the deep pain began to throb. Too late to retreat into blackness he opened his eyes. The light from Shinya's flashlight shone upwards from the far corner of his room, wavering slightly. Slowly he identified in fact two sounds as he watched his lover. Shinya was seated against the wall with his knees drawn up and his face hidden. Misty sat just in front of the drummer's toes like a miniscule Lassie. Shinya was quietly weeping and Misty was worriedly whining. Die frowned, he knew about Shinya's fear of darkness but his flashlight seemed to be working.

"Shinya? What's wrong?" he whispered, not wanting to draw Kaoru to their room. Their leader was undoubtedly still awake.

The weeping calmed slightly and Shinya looked up, the flashlight casting menacing shadows on his face. "You hate me." He replied brokenly, almost bitterly.

Die blinked in shock. "No I don’t."

"You do! You hate me. You don't want to be here with me."

Wincing Die sat up. "How can you say that?"

"So you still love me but you want to leave me alone?" Shinya almost demanded.

"I don’t understand." Die carefully approached.

"How can you love me and want to die at the same time?" Shinya did demand this time. Die could only blink in shock. "You apologize and apologize for giving up but you're just doing it again!"

"You knew?" Die whispered. "You were aware?"

Tears filled the drummers eyes as he mimicked the voice that had called Die back. "Come back Ando Diesuke. Don’t you dare." Uselessly Shinya tried to wipe some of the tears away. "You're leaving me again. Why did you come back only to leave?"

"Shinya…" he tried to grasp the reasons he'd made for his leaving. The excuses he'd formed in his head but now they seemed pitiful, useless. "I gave up, why would you want me to stay?" he asked at last.

"Ando Diesuke you are not the only one who gave up. I gave up long before you did."

Die's brow furrowed. "What?"

"I had cancer. I hid it from everyone because I knew I wouldn't be allowed to drum anymore. I knew I was dying and I wouldn't do anything. I gave up and didn't even tell you." Shinya closed his eyes and curled around himself tighter.

Nothing had prepared Die for that. He could face leaving Shinya since his lover deserved better but if Shinya left him first? It had never crossed his mind and it struck him deeply. This feeling, abandonment, he was causing this pain to his Shinya. Gathering the smaller man into his arms he fiercely held him close. "You can't leave me." He whispered.

"But you're leaving me!" Shinya renewed his argument.

"Never. I'll never think of it again if you promise not to go before me."

"I think it's gone Die. Yoshiki looked at me when he was talking about surgeries. I won't leave you."

"I won't let you leave me." Die kissed his forehead and smoothed his black hair down.

Shinya looked up into his brown eyes and smiled through a new wave of tears. Carefully setting down his flashlight so it shined on them he snuggled up to his lover and was able to close his eyes.

Kaoru pushed away from the wall where he stood next to Die's doorway. Moving to the lighted table he lied down on a couch and hooked his hands behind his head to stare at the ceiling. "Did you give up Miyabi?" he whispered.

*

Yoshiki watched over the band while the telecom units were installed. Five simple desks were brought in and set up between the doorways to their rooms. The telecoms resembled lap top computers and plugged into wall sockets that had been hidden behind white tiles that blended into the walls. Toshiya whispered that he wanted to find more such plug-ins until Kyo gave him an exasperated withering look.

The telecoms were booting up and all but one of the workman made their way out. Yoshiki waved the man forwards and Dir En Grey regarded them both in bafflement.

"Yukato, meet Dir En Grey." Yoshiki announced and the man nervously bowed. "Kaoru, I believe this is the man you wanted to thank."

Kaoru's eyes went wide with understandings before a smile broke through. Stepping immidiately forwards he took the man's hand to shake it. "Thank you, so much. I don't know what we would have done with out him."

Shinya seemed to catch on and quickly replaced Kaoru at shaking his hand. "We'll never be able to repay you."

Yukato smiled shyly. "It's enough just to meet you."

Die stepped forwards to take his turn at shaking Yukato's hand while Shinya quickly relayed to Kyo and Toshiya what was going on. "You didn't just save me, you save Dir En Grey."

Kyo and Toshiya expressed their thanks with hand shakes of their own and Yoshiki allowed Yukato to retreat with a promise to keep in touch. Kaoru quietly thanked Yoshiki and the group followed the older man to one of the telecoms.

"It's like a visual phone." Yoshiki explained as he pushed Kyo into the chair. "The phone book is just what it says and you double click on the number to phone them." Yoshiki deftly navigated the list of number and names he'd collected, each familiar character making the men more excited. Double clicking too fast for them to recognize the name the screen went black and a gentle ringing started. After two rings the screen lit again revealing a gentle female face that beamed. Kyo was frozen, nine years older, there she was. The girl he'd taken to SMAP, the girl he'd bought a piano.

"Oniichan!" she grinned. "I missed you so much." Tears gathering in her eyes.

Kyo seemed to be still in shock so Yoshiki took his hands and put them over the keyboard. "You can type to her Kyo." He whispered, removing and pressure for the vocalist to break his vow of silence.

Carefully Kyo's fingers moved over the keyboard, his eyes locked on her face. "Ai shiteru."

Dir En Grey dove for their own telecoms, searching the phone book for familiar names. Toshiya's hand shook as he double clicked on a name. The telecom barely rang once before it was picked up. Just a look at the face in the screen pushed the bassist to tears. "Autosan."

*

"And you're certain they're ready?" Yoshiki sat again in the control room with its screens and computers.

"It will be a shock to re-enter society but I trust you to keep their best interests at heart. If any problems emerge you have that list of doctors I gave you. I am aware that Kyo still feels the need for silence but I believe physical contact with his family will aid him. It still remains for Kaoru to get a natural night of sleep but again I feel a normal household environment will sooth him." The doctor explained. "Their new doctors will keep me informed. I wish you the best of luck." Standing the doctor shook Yoshiki's hand and gestured for him to follow him out into the hall.

*

Ah! Clothes! Real clothes! I'll never wear white again! Well, maybe a little bit of white but you'll never catch me in angel robes ever again. I'm gonna walk outside in my sunglasses and breath real air full of noxious car fumes with my new lungs…and I'm gonna cry. I just know it. I'm such a baby. But I don't care! I've been a freeze-dried vegetable for nine fucking years and I'm gonna damn well prove I’m free!

My dad's going to be at the airport. Yoshiki's having a party for everyone. I'd start crying now if Kyo wasn't tossing bread cubes at me. "Kyo! Piss off!"

*

Toshiya and Kyo are teasing each other again. Die's smiling and Shinya's rolling his eyes. This is my family, wherever they are I am home. I still worry and I have to take two horse pills every night but they haven't disappeared yet and every moment I am with them reinforces their reality.

I’m so curious. Our telecoms are only a taste of the things that must have changed. So what's out there? What's waiting for us?

"Owe! Kyo! Watch where you're throwing those things!"

*

We're leaving shrink palace! Finally! They aren't so bad I suppose but I'm going stir crazy. The doctors wanted me to speak, I knew that every time they came to see me. It was kind of funny to see how frustrated they could get trying to get me to talk. It sort of bugs my sister though…

What's this? Oh, Toshiya's new song. It really is a good song, but…could I…

Uh oh, Toshiya's doing the lip tremble thing. He's been thinking again! Why am I dating a four-year-old you ask? Bite me, he's MY four-year-old! Hmmm…bread cubes…perfect. Bulls eye!

And there goes Kaoru going all thoughtful. Too much thinking going on! I miss mindless television. Ready…aim…fire! Shit, nailed him in the head.

*

Everyone's excited, even Kyo. It's time to leave our bio-dome and I'm full of butterflies. I was ready to never see the sky again and now I can't wait. As long as he's beside me I can do anything. I think we both must have cornered Yoshiki to make sure Shinya was cured. It's hard to believe I was going to hurt him so much. Being Flash Dried must have really messed with me head. But now I have Shinya to look after again.

*

We're going outside today. We're going outside and Yoshiki promises that the sky is blue and the sun is shining. It knew I needed it. That's he cool thing about the sun, it doesn't just die, it just hides for a little while. Just like Die won't leave me. I don't need flashlights with Die and the sun. Although I'm sure I'll be receiving gag gifts of flashlights for the rest of my life. That's just the way my family is…as immature as my family is.

"Toshiya you look like you're ready to celebrate Marti Gras!"

*

I'm signing them out. They're safe in my protection. Well, me and my ten huge American bodyguard's protection any ways. Between the eleven of us we should be able to get them to my home just fine. The nurse is beaming as she hands me a box. Peeking at its contents I smile and say goodbye, sure that she probably contributed to it considering how she said goodbye.

There they are, like a victory scene in an anime, their eyes skywards, black hair flowing in the breeze. Click. Memory saved on watch/camera film. They'll yell at me later but it was perfect.

The city hasn't changed much physically. The cars are different, the signs more high tech, the graffiti more rebellious. I'll have to show them the web page of pictures the fans took of graffiti demanding their release. Some were really quite beautiful. Maybe I should get a copy of Gackt's freedom concert. The Dir En Grey tribute would probably embarrass them.

At least I threw off the press by telling them we'd be at the airport tomorrow. I don't think they're ready for flashing cameras and stupid questions quite yet. I know for a fact some of their fans are stalking the airport all week but we should be okay.

They're so much like children, eyes wide with wonder, pointing out changes in scenery, remembering how everything was before. Even Kyo is smiling.

The airport looks clear, no reporters to be seen. "We're a little early, let's stop for some lunch."

*

Yoshiki left his mysterious box with the hostess and the body guards took up positions around the booth. The band quietly decided on their first meal in freedom while Yoshiki watched people of various ages drop their contributions in the box.

"Yoshiki?" Kaoru spoke up. "What is in the box?"

"I'll show you on the plane, promise."

They finished their meal quite happily before Yoshiki led them out of the restaurant. Kyo was the last out with his pair of bodyguards trailing behind. Before the guards could react a businesswoman stepped in Kyo's way, pressed a black object shaped like a domino tile into his hand and went on her way. A touch baffled he pocketed it and moved to follow the others.

Yoshiki's private jet awaited them on the tarmac and the group found their seats and demanded that Yoshiki explain the meaning of the box and its contents. Yoshiki handed each band member what looked like a palm pilot with buttons much like a DVD remote control. Opening the box he began tossing black domino tiles to the members whose names were written on the tile in white. Quickly explaining how to plug in the tiny disks Yoshiki sat back to watch.

Taking the disk the businesswoman had given him Kyo warily plugged it in. Like a tiny slide-show pictures of Dir En Grey from Indies forwards faded in and out of the small screen. Toshiya laughing. Die smiling. Shinya fending off Toshiya in a pile of white feathers. Kaoru running with a huge smile. Himself singing to a crowd of extended hands, his hand over his heart. The last picture faded into black and a white curling font began writing out their name. Dir En Grey. The white letters faded away and a new red font began to write as white roses grew from the letters. Forever. A chibi version of himself in his red Gauze outfit climbed onto the word with great difficulty and stood proudly on top of it flashing a victory sign. Dir En Grey Forever.

"Toshiya?" A sudden silence reined over the airplane as the bassist turned to look at him in shock. "Can I borrow that song you wrote?"

A smile spread across Toshiya's face. "Of course Kyo."

*

It was still sunny in the United States and the group dragged themselves towards the airport yawning and pouting. Kaoru was the last out of the plane and he watched his band mates walk away, their hands intertwined as couples. His foot touched the cement and the door into the airport flung open.

"Kaoru!" the dark haired figure raced past the rest of Dir En Grey and Yoshiki held back the bodyguards, his face registering shock.

Kaoru blinked rapidly as the hallucination ran towards him. The mirage had tears in his eyes as he jumped at Kaoru, embracing him tightly. "Please remember." The ghost whispered. "Please tell me you're all right and you remember."

Kaoru looked down as the spirit looked up. "Miyabi…but you're dead. You gave up."

"No Kaoru. Never." Miyabi had a hold of the older man's shirt. "Did you ever read Romeo and Juliet?" Dumbly Kaoru nodded. "Combine that with advanced nano-technology and you'll understand what we did."

Kaoru's eyes misted over and he pulled his lover close. "You didn't give up." He whispered.

"Never." Miyabi purred.

*

Toshiya poked Yoshiki and gestured for him to look into the back of the SUV. Adjusting his rear view mirror Yoshiki peeked into the back seat. Kaoru sat beside his Miyabi, leaning against him, eyes closed, fast asleep.