EMAIL US: GRAPELIKEAPURPLE@YAHOO.COM
| Grape Like A Purple plays free shows for anyone around
the Tacoma, WA area. If you want us to play, or if you want to hear our
demo, our email address is at the top of the page. But we suck a lot, so I
dont know why you'd want us to do that. We currently have a 14 track demo
that we can send to anyone who wants it that badly. We're re-recording all
the songs on it, and making music videos so we can release a cheap CD.
We dont really play any certain music. It's rock, sometimes punky, sometimes early-90s-alternativey, sometimes powerviolency, sometimes upbeat, sometimes depressing or spiteful or sarcastic or whatever we want to be. Who cares about categories? What matters to us is expression and fun. Some have compared us to a sucky version of Dead Milkmen. Download some songs. Keep in mind these are only demos. The real better
songs will be out on a CD with videos that i'm sure we wont have to charge
more than 3 or 4 bucks a piece for. So, unless you're a monk, go wild. Oh
yeah, dont steal anything - people WiLL laugh at you.
† Green Poopies (2:04) - 1.89 Mb
† STACKER MUSiC ViDEO (640x480) - 5.52 Mb
Green Poopies
i woke up in the morning and i really had to go MOM! MOM! i'm havin green poopies! she said "go back to bed boy you are sick and need some rest"
Cory's Song
STOP IT! SMASH IT! WE DONT WANT IT!
Mud
Pushing people in the mud Push the people in the mud
Dawn of the Dead
it's the dawn of the dead in the sporting goods section of the supermall
Stacker
i go out late at night and i'm stackin' all the shopping carts, and i'm stackin' all the shopping carts, a lady comes out
Happy Birthday
you're so fine, it blows my mind ooooooh, ooweeooweeoo, ooweeooweeoo, ooweeoowee ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh, ooweeooweeoo, ooweeooweeoo, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
you're so smart, it breaks my heart ooooooh, ooweeooweeoo, ooweeooweeoo, ooweeoowee ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh, ooweeooweeoo, ooweeooweeoo, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Army Of Darkness
welcome back to the land of the living Army of Darkness! welcome back to the land of the living
Macreme
as we walk, hand in hand, we go down to the river and the birdies and the fishies as we walk, you smile in my general direction
Anarchy in the Library
it's the time of liberation hey ms. librarian with your sign that says "quiet" it's the time of liberation the Dewey Decimal system - is gonna get messed up!
Q-Basic Gorillas
we program, we program, we program for free Q-BASiC! Q-BASiC! Q-BASiC GORiLLAS!
The Cheesy Pick-Up Line Song
baby, you're as fine as a cucumber
F***ing Go!
everytime you tell us "GO!" we go
everytime you tell us "STOP!" we go |
The Story of Grape Like A Purple
it all started during the Revolutionary War, the one where we fought
Britain so we wouldnt be forced to use the Metric System anymore. a sea
pirate named Brotha Funky Rutabega took advantage of this squabble. he
would sit on the edge of the battles, let the ships fire cannons and sink
each other down, and when the firing ceased, he would sail into the
battlefield and scavange every last treasure. Ice Cube didnt like this, in
his own words, Brotha Funky Rutabega was a "scurvy sea-dog, be-otch!" so
he decided to "cap his ass". when he saw the massive arsenal Captain
Rutabega had built up from scavanging the war ships, he decided just to
act in movies about it instead.
meanwhile (centuries later), in america, Jeff Fury and his band of
anarcho-communist rebel bisexual armadillos were infiltrating the school
systems disguised as substitute teachers and janitorial servicemen. their
plan to switch american cheese to chedder (chedder cheese is metric) in
all the school lunches across wyoming was almost complete. the American
standard was going to take a serious blow in wyoming, and soon all would
see the logic in the ways of the metric system.
the scene cuts to an alley in Portland...something moves in a
dumpster...a head appears above the openning. an overfed street kid
wallows around and falls out of the dumpster, full after yet another
satisfying meal prepared and thrown out at the Dollar Chinese restaurant.
covered in bits of chow mein noodles and broccoli, he undoes his pants
button to make room for his oversized belly. this is Boner Smiles. all
squatter kids have great names.
once a jewish ninja monk, Boner trained ceaselessly and aspired to one
day become the Grand Champin-o Saka-tari of Judeo-Japantown, CO. the local
monastary had poor translation resources, so instead of "Saka-tari"
translating into "Great Wonder", Boner's master somehow came out with "Fat
Slab of Pork". thus his training became skewed, his goals glazed over like
so many filled donuts. he kept eating and eating until one day, they had
no choice but to kick him out of the monastary. to this day, he can never
forgive their unhospitality, and vows never to rest until every jewish
ninja monk is at least 30 pounds overweight, or at least commits himself
to a richard simmons workout plan. because of the lack of jewish ninja
monks in downtown urban Portland, OR., he wages war on neighboring
squirrels in a massive delusion that the squirrels have somehow swallowed
up all the monks in the city.
meanwhile, alex and ryan, co-owners of a small human-organ-selling
business and white slave trading community, had to form a business front
to hide their illeagal operations (they tore tags off of mattresses that
said "it is a federal offense to remove this tag"). so they began a
charity in the name of all squirrel-kind, called The Save The Squirrels
Foundation. not only did this prove as a cover for less socially-appealing
activities, it raked in money like none other! why would someone donate
money to save some ugly endangered species when they could help a cute
little squirrel in need of a home and a few peanuts??
One day, Alex was watching the exotic squirrel channel on television
when they ran a segment about a fat boy attacking squirrels in Portland.
naturally, the Save The Squirrels Foundation came to the rescue.
battering him with maelstrom of Nerf(R) Footballs and those styrofoam
noodle things, the squirrel activist supporters of The Save the Squirrel
Foundation didnt stop pelting poor delusioned Boner until he was knocked
out cold, had lost 4 and a half teeth, and had a Nerf(R) ping-pong ball
lodged somewhere very unpleasant. when he awoke, he was cured of his
hatred for squirrels and monks, but still remained terribly obese (obese
1. very fat; stout; corpulent). Alex and Ryan, seeing Boner as a changed
man, took him in and let him stay at the Castle of the Squirrels with them
in Tacoma, WA. and though Boner seemed a changed man, there was still a
darkness inside of him...
the school lunches were prepared and ready to serve to the innocent
children. the janitors were ready, pretending to mop the floor with their
quarterstaffs disguised as mops, just in case anything went awry. then
came along Little John James.
Little John James was an ordinary 14 year old American boy. he was
raised with a sense of pride for democracy and a love for freedom that
only this country can give us. his parents were teaching him values and
morals fitting to the mass of public opinion. he hated anyone who wasnt
white, straight, sexist, and emotionally repressed. John James noticed the
cheese. it wasnt American. John James' parents taught him better. all eyes
were upon him when he was deciding whether or not to refuse the cheese.
the janitors tensed up, ready to take action. the room was dead silent.
what happened next was a massive uproar, an adolescent civil war. food
flew everywhere. the lunchroom was divided, classmate against classmate.
kids were choking each other with pepperoni sticks, beaning each other
with half-pints-of-milk gernades. not a green bean was eaten, and not a
student was safe from the frenzied chaos of mass distruction that
swollowed the next 10 minutes of their scholastic history.
then a funny thing happened. the spirit of Captain Brotha Funky
Rutabega physically manisfested itself and appeared in the lunchroom, by
the coke machines. wrathfire and bloodscreams eminated from the
frightening spirit, as kids screamed and hid behind the now upturned lunch
tables.
"I AM THE SPIRIT OF CAPTAIN RUTABEGA!" the spirit proclaimed. "here
this now: yer endless squabblin' over the metric and american measurement
systems have cost enough lives, and invaluable resources. we need to learn
to get along, and compromise. from now on, we are to use a new measurement
system! combinin' the confusin' random measurements of american standard
with the sharp tanginess of chedder. this is the dawn of an age of new
understanding, and we shall call this system AMETRICAN! HAR HAR HAR!"
and just as fast as he appeared, he was gone.
and then he appeared again, pointed right at Jeff Fury, and shouted "GO
YE NORTH AND SEEK YE THE PERSONS WHO CLAIM TO BE CANINE." without
questioning, Fury hopped the next train to Tacoma.
it was about this time that Boner's life started turning bad. he got
into listening to "gangster rap" and decided to start a "hip hop" band to
be "cool". he found some "homies" and went out on the "smooth tip" to
"tha" "double glock" "cuz" he was "hollerin" "187 on a undercova cop."
Alex and Ryan, infatuated with the "gangsta life" decided to "represent"
along with Boner, who was "straight up" "cold illin'" at the "time",
"dogg". knowahmsayn?
they began a rap group called "Tha Hard Doggs" because they all wanted
to seem tough, but also wanted to give a sense of family. the band became
very successful, but was turned down by Chuck D when he was interested in
producing an album because they were "too politically minded" for his
tastes. appearantly the world "was not ready" for this kind of attitude
and aggressiveness the music displayed. they were banned from playing in
14 states. the producer of their first demo is still in a messy lawsuit
with happypuppy.com over issues we wont discuss here concerning the band
name.
The band's continued rejection and disapproval from 4-H leaders and
Martha Stewert herself only worsened their already habitual narcotic
problem. they soon spun into a hazy cloud of confusion and apathy. then
Fury showed up with the answer. What the hell do armadillos have to do with the American Revolution?
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