18th May 1999

The crowd was still going strong, screaming for them even when it was announced five minutes ago that the meet and greet fan session had ended. Mike counted four heads and as expected, Nick would be missing in the midst of the crowd as always. If it were three years ago, Mike would have been worried sick by now, but these days, Nick Carter had grown into a very fit young man who knows how to handle himself. What he couldn’t believe though, was why such a smart and adored by millions young man couldn’t have seen right through Mandy Willaford.

She had been pestering anyone and everyone to take Nick out of the signing session after seeing countless of them grabbing at his shirt and planting kisses on his cheeks when he least expected it. Nick however, knew that such things will happen and he knew that it was just something that comes with the kind of career he had, he wasn’t complaining. Was Mandy genuinely worried or just plain jealous? Mike had picked the latter without a doubt.

He saw his blonde head streaming and cutting through the sea of crowd and after what seemed like an eternity, found him next to him. He looked up for the first time, revealing the cheeky grin he had on his face.

"Lost me again Nick?" Mike asked as he took over shielding him and rushing him out of the room.

"No. You lost me." Nick shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Smart mouth." Mike scoffed as they ran pass hungry lens and blinding flashes of lights. The screaming and yelling finally sounding distant, they made their way to the dressing room. Upon entering the room, the other four guys had already collapsed on the waiting sofas, having their lunch or just hanging out.

"You people suck!" Nick groaned as he purposely kick a book that Howie was about to read.

"Hey, what crawled up your ass?" Howie hissed as he pulled himself up to reach the book.

"What crawled up MY ass? You left ME back there! And you’re the ones preaching me about Brotherhood." Nick scoffed as he eyed AJ placing his cheeseburger on the table while he reached out for a cup of drink.

"Hey, preaching ain’t me, that’d be Brian." AJ said without looking at him. Nick grabbed the cheeseburger and took a bite. It taste delicious as always.

"What the-"

"And I ain’t no saint." Nick cut in before AJ could curse him for taking his burger.

"Aw come on Nicky, get use to it already. You’re our only ticket out to safe journey home without being molested." Brian giggled.

"I get the ‘use’ part loud and clear all right. I feel used." Nick hissed as he gulped down the cup of drink AJ had poured. "Thanks man."

"No problem bro. Here, this is my girlfriend’s number, you might wanna take her too., since you know, everything that belongs to me you already took." AJ said sarcastically. Nick took the small note and shoved it down the pocket of his jeans.

"Will do. I love you bro." Nick replied casually. AJ rolled his eyes and walked off to get himself another burger.

Nick went straight to Brian, who was eating his fries on the carpeted floor and sat down next to him.

"Can I use your cellar again?" Nick asked sheepishly.

"You’re paying for the trunk calls right?" Brian asked.

"Only those made to Australia, and so far I only had one, which was like, second long." Nick pointed out.

"Fine, I was just kidding by the way. You don’t have to pay me back." Brian grinned as he took another fries.

"Me too." Nick smiled as he dialled the numbers.

"Whatever, just let me talk to her after you’re done." Brian said.

"Yeah, us too." AJ added while Howie and Kevin both nodded in agreement.

"Get your own damn cellar to call her!" Brian scoffed.

Nick waited for someone to answer the call. He had tried calling earlier that morning before the meet and greet and he had to ask for Brian’s cell phone since Mandy was still bitter about his relationship with her. However, Nick only managed to get past ‘Hello Nicole’ before the line was cut off. They were driving under endless stretch of underground road then. By the time they got out of there, they had already reached their destination. And Mandy was waiting with Leigh from the other van, preventing him from trying again.

"Hello?" Nick froze. It was her voice. He knew it.

"Nick, is that you? Hello?" Nick brushed the daze aside and cleared his throat. He couldn’t believe his luck. This would be THE day. He was finally going to talk to her.

"Hello," Nick whispered into the mouthpiece, wondering why he was whispering. "Nicole?" He waited but got no respond.

"What the hell... " He pulled the cell phone away from his ear.

"What’s wrong this time?" Brian sighed.

"Your battery’s out dumb ass!" Nick cried.

"Oops!"

"Yeah, oops!" Nick mocked. "I can’t believe this is happening to me!"

"Aww come on man, you could use Howie’s. I’m sure he won’t mind now, right D?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, use it, as long as you will stop whining." Howie joked.

"Guys, the coast is clear, if you wanna make a run for it, this is the best of times." Kevin announced suddenly.

"Great, now I can’t call her. I have to take off first, Mandy’s waiting." Nick said as he made his way to the door with the cheeseburger and drink.

"Remember we have another meet and greet tomorrow!" Kevin reminded him.

"10am sharp Frack, not a second later." Brian added.

"And get ready to being used again." Howie giggled.

"And if it’s remotely possible, leave the boss behind." AJ said casually, obviously referring to Mandy.

"AJ!!" Brian, Kevin and Howie shouted in unison.

"What?" AJ asked, failing miserably to look innocent.

"And for that, I’m bringing her tomorrow." Nick smiled as he left. He heard the guys cursing AJ for ‘spoiling’ it, but just smiled, knowing that they were just joking around. The relationship between the five of them with Mandy had been stressful, but when they were in a room together, the guys had been cool enough to be civil. Mandy tried her best too, although he would hear no ends about it when they got back home or were alone in the hotel room somewhere.

"Going off already?" Mike asked as he came out of the room.

"Yeah, I’m taking Mandy’s car. You don’t have to drive me today." Nick replied as he hurried along.

"Lucky me." Mike mocked.

"What? You get to back off this troublesome kid and you didn’t even say thanks." Nick joked.

"Firstly, you’re no trouble. If there is ever anything I’m worried of, it’s you driving." Mike replied matter of factly.

"I took offence to that." Nick pouted but never lost his long, urgent strides.

"Just drive safely okay, I don’t want management screaming my head off tomorrow if you lost your way." Mike said.

"God, Mike! It’s Florida, me, born and raised here!" Nick sighed.

"New York."

"What?" Nick stopped. "We’re in New York?"

"You were born in New York." Mike replied short.

"Of course I was born in New York, why are you choosing right now to point it out to me?" Nick asked, puzzled.

Mike threw his hands up in the other and shook his head. "I give up! You go now, remember to come back for-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know! You lot are damn whiny today!" Nick cut in as he took another look at the open parking lot before making a bee line to the waiting Mercedes Benz.

Mandy was, as expected, waiting for him in the car. He climbed in to the driver’s seat and let the door hung open.

"Sorry I’m late, as always. Did you miss me?" Nick smiled.

"Just drive." Mandy replied coldly.

"Aw, come on baby, you’re used to having me late all the time. I’m here now, let’s not-"

"I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ALL RIGHT? CAN WE JUST GO!"

Nick stared at her as she threw her face to the opposite side, refusing to face him. He closed his eyes, willed his temper and his heartbeat to calm down. Letting go a sigh, he opened his eyes and turned towards the steering wheel, staring forward.

"All I want to do is love you Mandy, why is that so hard?" Nick said, more like a statement than a question. Mandy didn’t budge from her seat and Nick turned the ignition on and maneuvered the car out of the parking space and into the traffic.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Every time I see your face, my heart smiles
Every time it feels so good, it hurts sometimes
Created in this world to love, to hold, to feel, to breathe
To live you, Dangerously in love... *

Nick was lost in his train of thoughts for over thirty minutes and Mandy had remained silent throughout the drive, not once, glancing over at her boyfriend. Part of him was actually appreciative for the rare silence, it made him calmed, but the other half was battling with emotions. The day had started out perfect for them. In fact, Mandy had been so thrilled over the group’s new schedules to promote Millennium. He had even finally made time to call Nicole up although so far, twice it had been close misses. He planned to call her up again tomorrow morning, when Brian had recharged his cell phone. That thought made Nick smirked as he drove in to the tunnel.

It would take at least another thirty minutes ride in the tunnel before they reach Tampa. The tunnel, although well lit up and busy with traffic, was much calming than the busy road outside.

"Stop the car."

"What?" Nick asked, as he stole a glance over at Mandy.

"I said, STOP. THE. CAR." Mandy hissed.

"We’re in the tunnel for God’s sake Mandy. It’s a no stop lane, I can’t just stop." Nick reasoned. "What’s wrong with you? Can we talk this over calmly at home?"

"It can’t wait. I guess we have to do this right now." Mandy replied.

"I’m driving baby, I can’t give you my attention." Nick said as his eyes still paid attention to the road.

"That’s okay, I’m used to it." Mandy replied sarcastically.

"What’s that suppose to mean?" Nick asked annoyed, his eyes now staring at her.

"Just what it’s suppose to mean! You love your fans more than I do! They get your attention more than I got! And as if that’s not enough, you made me wait for you for fifteen minutes like a complete idiot!" Mandy shouted.

Nick’s clutch on the steering wheel tightened. "Didn’t anything I said back there at the carpark meant anything to you?"

"Those are just words Nick! You said those words to your fans too!"

"I gave myself to you Mandy, I don’t do that to my fans." Nick sighed.

"YOU JUST WANT A FUCK! YOU’RE VULNERABLE THAT NIGHT AND YOU NEED ME TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. YOU ALWAYS NEED ME TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER! YOU’RE SO WEAK NICK!"

Nick wondered where that came from. Was he really that weak?

"YES, I AM WEAK! COZ ALL I THINK ABOUT WHEN I’M OUT THERE IS YOU! NOW TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TO MAKE YOU SEE THAT? DO YOU WANT ME TO QUIT THE GROUP? COS I WILL DO IT RIGHT NOW JUST FOR YOU! FOR YOU!" Nick yelled, his temper flared.

A thunderous roar tore the tension in the car. Nick turned his attention to the road, so did Mandy. They couldn’t see much, it all happened in a split second. The truck in front of them had stopped all of a sudden, loud bang and car screeching and crashing against each other echoed from the front to the back, where they were. The tires squealed as he floored the pedal, but he knew to avoid the rear of the truck was inevitable.

The front of the Mercedes Benz crashed into the truck, the rear of the Benz was literally crushed by an incoming van at the back.

"GET DOWN!" Nick screamed and lunged towards the dazed Mandy, motioning her to hide in between the seat and the dash board as he watched the car on its way to crushing them.

"Stay down, you’ll be okay." Nick said as calmly as he could. Mandy had fear in her eyes. He got up and tried to take off his seatbelt but an incoming car that had lost its control literally rammed into his side of the car. Crushed from the front and rear and banged on the side, Nick lost consciousness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mandy waited until the mayhem ended. The sound of vehicles crashing and colliding into each other had subsided, replaced by the distinct screaming and yelling of people seeking help. She tried to wriggle out from underneath and managed to do just that. Her side of the car was crushed but the impact wasn’t that hard and she could still find space to move. Her eyes went straight for her boyfriend.

Tears that welled up in her eyes she willed them to blur her vision for she’d rather go blind than to see the state her boyfriend was in. His blond flock now tainted with red. His face was utterly pale and his body was crushed from the chest down by the impact, there was nowhere for him to move.

"Nick! Baby, wake up! Please!" Mandy cried. She wanted to touch him, wake him up, but she was afraid to touch him. Afraid that she would do more damage. The car that had rammed on his side had caused the glass window to shatter, some embedded on his hands and shoulder.

She tried to open the door, to find help but realised that the door was crushed in. "Oh God, please, help us! Please, help my boyfriend!" She was losing her mind. Panic had taken over and nobody took notice of them as she cried for help.

"Baby... " Mandy turned, Nick was awake.

"Nick! Baby, are you all right? Please hang in there baby, I will get help for you!" Mandy cried as she cupped his head, kissing him gently on the lip. Her tears falling and mixing with his. "Don’t leave me."

"Mandy... you have to get out... save yourself." Nick said, barely audible.

"NO! I will not leave you! Please baby, don’t leave me okay? I love you! I love you!"

Mandy cried.

Nick felt the tears rushing more than ever. "It takes this far for me to hear you say that."

Mandy cried, no words could top what Nick had just said. She should have trusted him. She should have treated him more fairly. He deserved more than that.

"And I will say it again, I love you." Mandy whispered. "Just... don’t... leave... me... "

"Baby... it hurts... to breathe... "

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He was breathing from the oxygen mask that they had given him while firemen worked around him, trying their best to pry the car apart. He was fully aware of the things that was going around and the pain never once left him.

After what seemed like an eternity, they had managed to pull the front side of the car apart, leaving him and his seat.

"We have to move him now!" A paramedic said to the other.

"But we’re not sure the extend of his injury. We might just paralyse him if we move him." Another paramedic replied.

"He’s loosing too much blood, there is no other way."

"Nick, we’re going to carry you out now, we’ll count to three, and I’m not gonna lie, it’s going to hurt. Are you ready?"

Nick gave a weak nod. He didn’t give a damn about anything else. He wanted out.

"Okay, one... two... three!" The two paramedic pulled him up while two others were waiting with a stretcher on the ground. But only inches off the seat, Nick had let out a bloodcurdling scream.

The paramedics, alarmed, placed him back and pulled the mask down. "What’s wrong Nick?"

"It... hurts... I’m... stuck... " Nick gasped.

"Stuck? We already got his seatbelt off. There’s nothing holding him back." The other paramedic pointed out.

"Please... don’t pull me... something’s holding me back... it hurts... " Nick begged.

"Give me a sec, let me check." The first paramedic crouched over and studied the bent seat. He pulled up Nick’s shirt, only to reveal to dark bruises indicating broken ribs. He pulled it up higher to check the extend of the damage but it the shirt was caught halfway by an object.

"What the hell... "

"What?" The second paramedic asked.

"This is bad... I think a rod had pierced in his body."

Nick registered the information but was too weak to react to it. He was dying. He looked ahead and saw Mandy wrapped in a blanket, being treated by another paramedic, but all she did was crying out for him.

"It didn’t seem to be deep and it missed his spinal chord."

"We have no choice, we have to pull him out."

"It’s too risky."

"Please," Nick gasped. "Just pull me then... "

They waited no longer, with permission from him, they counted again to three and pulled him out. His legs collapsed underneath him and the paramedic took all the precautions necessary to get him laid on the stretcher. His white silk shirt now drenched in blood, the paramedics had a hard time accepting the fact that it was THE Nick Carter who was fighting for his life.

Mandy ran towards him, ignoring orders not to do so. "Baby, I’m so sorry! You have to pull through! I love you! I love you!" With regrets lingering, she watched as they rushed him to the van and sped off with the wailing of the sirens bidding goodbye.

*I know you love me, love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am, baby you were my man
I know it ain’t easy, easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication from you to me*

*and um... those lyrics... Dangerously In Love, Destiny’s Child... LISTEN TO IT PEOPLE, MAKES YOU WANNA CRY*