Broken Dreams
Just walk away and slam the door, there nothing else your good for. Constantly causing pain on the out side, trying to drown out the sound of the screaming pain filling me on the inside. So many nights I sit by my window, wishing for rainy days to come, what can I make out of with a worthless lie of a life, Im not wanted, I just get abandend. So many tears waster, crying over this worthless life, they say is mine to make of. Blinding walls and peircing words, cutting threw me like an arrow, constantly missing its target, and coming back for more. More screams, more cries, yet no one hears, its all on the inside. How do I get up, from falling so far, so far from what they call reality. With tear stained eyes, I try to see threw the lies, but its all that surrounds me. You and the lies of what is real and what isn't there. Even in my room where I sit, I no longer feel safe, I try to hold my breath, and close my eyes, I no longer want to look into the mirror and have to see what I see. Afraid of everything that is around me, Look what you've done to me. And now you say you dont want me. What was the point in bringing me into this life, to only make it hell for me, cant you see whats happening, what im going threw? I tried before to see if what flows in my vaines is any different from you, but I bleed just as you do. I know where my heart is, but where is yours? Obviously there is no trace of you even having one. You keep it in a box under your bed, where the monsters are that haunt my dreams and tare me to peices. I walk on broken class, of my fragile class heart that you've shatared all over the floor...too small to put bach together, and to painfull to live without. I try so hard to get out of this dark place im trapped in, trying to pull my way threw, all the f**kin' crap you say and do, does this pain give plesure to you? You've filled my head with evil and monsters, driving me insain. Im crawling on the floor, moving to your every comand, what more do you want?! I do nothing anymore, I cant even think, I dont even think I can move to blink, I lay still on my floor, thinking of thats gone on, and still is, running like movies constantly playing thew my mind. Im broken, and out spoken, I have no more to say, I've never said anything before to make it this way. I try to run from you, but Im held back, by the chains of your words wrapped around my hands and feet. How many times are you going to tell me, you dont want me? Are you trying to push me to suicide? your supposed to be there for me, yet you do nothing. I see the edge, its getting nearer, everyday, closer and closer, kreeping up behind me, just waiting for me to turn around and jump. Jump into the arms of death, and lay in rest...for the best? I can almost hear it knocking at my back door. Its calling for me, I can hear it, awake, asleep, it echos in the halls, and its even in the walls. I dont understand what you think your doing, but are you so f**kin' blind, as to see right threw me. As if you dont see. Do you chose to ignor it, or do you enjoy it? I can see my final day, as this one comes to an end. I cant sleep, Im afraid I wont wake up. I can feel your ice cold hands around my neck, taking my last breath. Is it to late to be saved? You keep me blinded from the truth, like your hinding something. With every step I take, I can feel you breath running down my back. No matter how near or far you are. Your voice is a monster lurcing in the dark, waiting for me to be alone, to take what's left of me. I am the one you hear crying at nite, facing everything alone, even the ones who said were friends, arn't even there anymore. As I finally see, they were never there for me, it was all waisted years, waisted time. Possibly the only time I had. For now I can feel time quickly passing by, leaving me behind, living all the past. Im starting to run out of words to describe whats going on, and how I feel. And then there will be nothing left of me. Nothing to say, nothing to live for, nothing worth feeling for. I cant even feel the cuts and burns no more. It scares me to know that. Im screaming for someone to help me, save me from this all, take me away. I can hear the rain drops at my window, with every drop, it tells a story, of the past, echoing in my mind, from time to time. Actually all the time, I just hide it. With a smile and a brush off the sholder, and always holding everything inside, I try to live the best I can, watching friends around me, moving on, falling, and helping them back up. Keeping them on their feet, wishing with all I have in me, that they will never have to go threw what I do. But you, dark and lonely nitghs, its only me, and only you...
M. McBride
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hungry
a-ok