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You Know You're a Band Geek When...

1. You hear music on the radio and you start marking time.

2. You're walking behind someone and you're in step with them.

3. You try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.

4. All your friends are in band.

5. You don't mind changing clothes on the bus (see below).

6. You know how to change on the bus without revealing anything.

7. People ask you about your social life and you say "Oh you mean my flute?"

8. You've had a "trombone-ectomy" (shudder).

9. You practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.

10. Being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.

11. "Armed guard" means a girl with a pole, not a guy with a gun.

12. You remember sharps and flats more easily than you remember the name of the president.

13. You've named your instrument.

14. You see your section more than you see your family.

15. Everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band.

16. You have dreams about selling band candy.

17. You accidentally call your band director "Dad".

18. Reeds taste good.

19. You subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.

20. You roll step through the cafeteria so you don't spill your food.

21. You're alone and you suffocate because no one's telling you to breathe.

22. The band room is your second home. It is your home if you've got it bad.

23. You think a national monument should be built honoring John Philip Sousa. Hell, they should just chip off one of those president heads and put it there.

24. You've actually been to band camp and consider it the highlight of your summer.

25. You recite the alphabet A through G then start back at A again.

26. Someone could empty their spit valve on your shoe and you wouldn't care.

27. Spit rags/swabbers don't gross you out (see above).

28. You carry cork grease in your pocket.

29. You know what a shako is and insist on calling them that, threatening to kick anyone who dares to call them 'hats'.

30. 9/2 time scares the b'jeezus out of you, while dying a slow painful death in a pit of snakes doesn't.

31. Your philosophy is: "If you don't have your mouthpiece then what the heck is that noise coming out of your mouth?"

32. You and your pals have memorized the entire repertoire for the year and can play your respective parts together...on kazoos.

33. You hear a song on the radio and think: "Hey, this'd make a good pep band song."

34. You don't describe people by going "She's got brown hair, dark eyes, kind of tall..", but go "She's an alto sax."

35. Your conductor is your hero.

36. You have a designated section in your closet dubbed "for concert attire".

37. You have a harness/neck strap tan line.

38. Pep band is the highlight of your week.

39. You go around humming the last song you practiced, even if it's Bb major scale.

40. A random person could punch you in the face and you wouldn't respond, but you'll fight to the death over who in your section gets to play the solo.

41. Someone yells out "Hey Tuba boy!" and you respond.

42. Your biggest crush was/is your drum major.

43. You go to parades that you are not in and make sure lines are straight, horn angles are parallel, and everyone is in step.

44. You listen to the classical station and can name off songs that you remember playing in band.

45. You always start off on the left foot.

46. You find it complicated to get in step with your reflection.

47. You've seen "Mr.Holland's Opus" 26 times.

48. Everybody in band fights like they're family.

49. When walking down the hall you are in step with your friends. If someone is not, they fall behind or do a little foot shuffle to get in step.

50. You have dents in your furniture from hitting it with drumsticks or spit stains from emptying your valve.

51. You know how to play 10 popular-stand tunes, but know the words to none of them.

52. You point out key changes and dynamics when you listen to the radio.

53. You can strip out of your uniform in less than a minute WITHOUT getting it on the floor in order to use the bathroom.

54. You can carry four different food products at a time and eat them while standing with your instrument on moving bleachers in the rain and not drop any crumbs on your pep band jersey.

55. Having people help dress and undress you isn't even remotely sexually stimulating.

56. You know how to walk on mud without slipping.

57. You miss class to march in a parade.

58. You point out instruments from the music in cartoons.

59. You're still humming band music from three years ago.

60. You start screaming "LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!" to the people that walk in front of you on your way to class.

61. You've never had to pay to get into a football/basketball game.

62. Your feet are together, your stomach is in, your shoulders are back, your head is up, and your eyes are "with pride." 24/7.

63. You've been wittness to a fallen xylophone, bells, chimes, or marimba.

64. Your English teacher is discussing banned bookes and you think - "band books?"

65. You sit at what is known by all as the "Band Table" in the cafeteria.

66. You pile as many band people as you can in one car to go and see "Final Fantasy".

67. You tell people in the movie theater they're humming the "Final Fantasy" tune out of key.

68. You either hate orchestra or are incredibly envious of it.

69. You never go anywhere without a deck of cards (see below).

70. Your deck of cards have been used to such a degree that they've been ripped and taped, have dog eared corners, are an odd pinkish tinge, can no longer fit into their box, and people ask if they'll contract chlamidya from them. Amazingly though, you still have all 52.

71. Instead of doing the "L = left" thing with your hands, you take one step forward to figure out which is right and which is left.

72. You'll clean up the uniform room for a free soda.

73. You're feeling sick at school, but you don't go home until after band.

74. Your friends (uh... friend) who aren't in band hang out in the band room before class starts.

75. You've never ever sat in your class section at a pep rally because you're playing.

76. You still and always will find "Sax-a-ma-PHONE!" entertaining.

77. You find yourself drawing characters in uniforms with instruments.

78. You're in band, but you don 't play an instrument (see below).

79. You like band so much but you don't know how to play an instrument, so you join and become a runner for the band.

80. Normal people bet on horse racing, you bet on the DCI Championship.

81. People you haven't seen since elementary school go up to you and say "Hey, you're that one clarinet girl!"

82. In the hallway at school, someone drops a pencil and you holler "STICK!!!"

83. Someone starts clapping and you get nervous.

84. If your dog called you to attention you wouldn't faint out of surprise until the at-ease.

85. Friends tell you to "pee clear."

86. If you actually get to watch a parade in the off-season, you get the urge to say things like "Second rank, left file, watch the intervals!"

87. You name the city and the show, your friends know exactly when you're talking about.

88. Immediate respect for any drum major.

89. "Beef" has nothing to do with cows.

90. (If you tour) You have a refined ability to walk down an aisle on the edges of bus seats.

91. (See above) You fight over who gets to sleep on the floor.

92. You go into spasms if you aren't in the same room as your instrument for more than two hours.

93. Someone asks you who your favorite band is and you say"High school or college? 4A or 5A school? DCI or what?"

94. Wal-Mart is having a sale on lawn ornaments and you think "Wow, they're selling pit members now?"

95. You dent a tuba and blame it on flag line.

96. When you do squatt and go's to get to a class you are late for.

97. You go to other football games to watch the other band.

98. You play the fight songs for FUN!

99. You listen to band demo CDs in your car.

100. Your CDs consist of mainly orchestral/band music.

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