GOD IS IN CONTROL OF OUR FAMILY!

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Every time I hear the song which says, “You give and take away, My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name”. I think about how the Lord allowed my son to take away his own life from all of us, from me. I could be mad at God, or I can choose to bless His name. He gave me my son on June 16, at 6:00 pm, He loaned Cory to me for 26 years and then He took him back on January 30, 2002. During the past few years, Cory struggled with many things that hurt him very deeply, and my prayer for him was always "Lord, just bring Cory back to You." That prayer was answered and revealed to me many times over in the last year of Cory’s life. On November 26, 2001, Cory had told his sister Kelley, “I am on my own journey to God”. A few weeks before Cory took his life, he believed he saw a group of angels protect him from allowing him to go to a place where he should not have gone, he was down on his face with Jessica, in prayer to the Lord. Then, a few weeks before making his final decision, Dad and I were praying over Cory and his face turned from stone to a look of complete peace when he called out to Jesus. He told me just two days before he left, “Mom, I really love God”. God gave me so many things to hold on to, to strengthen me after his death. I feel the Lord was preparing me even before I knew that Cory had died. On the morning of Jan. 30, the Lord revealed a verse to me during my morning devotion's. The verse was: John 13:7 "Jesus replied, You don't realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand. " At that time, it wasn't clear to me why God had led me to that verse. Then later that day I was told that Cory had taken his own life. I then realized that God was totally in control of the whole situation. The pain of loosing a child has to be one of the most heart breaking moments anyone can live through. I will miss my son everyday that I breathe; I love him so very much. The pain of his death can be as new some days as if it were 3 years ago. The Lord has blessed me with a son, and two daughters, and wonderful husband and many family and friends. The Lord has blessed me with the memories that I have of Cory laughing, of his hugs, his farting, and each time he told me that he loved me. The song continues – When the darkness closes in , When the sun’s shining down on me, On the road marked with suffering, Though there’s pain in the offering, I’ll turn back to praise, Still I will say, Blessed be Your name, You give and take away, My heart will choose to say Lord, Blessed be Your name. I miss you Cory every minute of every day, but you are in my future, and I know that God is watching over you now. Love, Mom

I want to share with other parents the hope that a broken relationship with a child can be healed with God’s help. Throughout the early years of my son Cory’s life, our relationship was not a close one. There was much pain in those years for both of us. As the years went by, and I myself accepted Christ as my Savior, He showed me how to love my son unconditionally, through the reading of His word. Many verses that I read helped me to help love my son and to show him how he could have a relationship with God too. As the last few years of Cory’s life unfolded, God healed our relationship. We had many times that we traveled together and were able to talk and share things. The time we took the road trip to Texas when we worked for Newell for six weeks and he was the boss, the time we picked out a Christmas tree and hauled it all the way back to Chicago because it was cheaper, the day the birds pooped all over the car windshield and Cory could not stop laughing for 10 minutes. Golfing and fishing were things that we only got to do one or two times, and I was looking forward to doing more of those things before the time was cut short. I also spent some of the most difficult times with Cory, when he was struggling with alcohol and past and present issues in his life. The time that I drove to Chicago in the middle of the night to remove him from his apartment when there was a problem with his roommate. All of these things either good or bad, were all opportunities for me to show Cory how much I loved him. It was in those times that I was able to protect him, and comfort him and was able to pray with him. God gave us that time to heal the both of us. I cannot count the times when I was leaving Cory and I hugged him and told him I loved him, and he would always say I love you too. I have no regrets, God knows what He is doing, Cory knew without a doubt how much I loved him, and that is all any father can ever hope for. ~ Cory's Dad