Dumb like a side of cheesecake on rye bread
Lower than a horse hoof on top of a book stack
Looking through tunnels of thesaurus manuals
Mistaking all your friends for dinosaurs

[CHORUS]
I need you too listen carefully
I need more soap fixtures on my apple shavings
While your at it -
Shampoo up my apple sauce G
He said to
Shampoo up my apple sauce G
He wants you to
Shampoo up my apple sauce G
He told you that!

Fire retardant mouse pads inching forward
Closely followed by fire ants protected at the hips
2 am rolls around and you still haven’t reached your goal
Peel off a couple bushels and strap them on tight

[CHORUS]

Resting on top of a garbage can reading the night away
Sucker punched by a duck wedge - slipping on your tubes
Stand up straight and sing to your heart's table of contents
And shampoo it up

WORDS, MUSIC, AND TITLE: EARTHWORM IN COWBOY HAT

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