It all happend so fast, yet it seemed like an eternity. Two days ago Brian was having the time of his life. Happily married to Leighanne, expecting a baby, working on the new Backstreet album. In short, he enjoyed life! Then something happened that crashed everything. Nick had dropped the bomb. He had cancer! And now Brian's whole world was turned upside down.
Glancing at the person next to him in the plane seat, Brian made sure that Nick was comfortable. He reached towards the grey blanket and covered his friend up. As he “tucked” Nick in, his hand accidently met Nick's cheek. It was warm. He was pale, yet flushed and frowning, Brian felt the blonde's forehead. Definately a fever. Why hadn´t Nick said anything?
Shaking his head in concern, Brian concluded that Nick kept too many secrets for his own good. What people didn´t know about Nick was that he was very deep, and not that easy to get into life. He was outgoing, yet very quiet about his inner thoughts and emotions.
Brian smiled when he thought back on the time when they first met each other. Nick was an airhead, so full of life and they had instantly found each other. They had become Frick and Frack and there were endless nights when Brian had stayed with the blonde playing Nintendo, talking. They had played pranks together and Brian had always been at his side. Nick was a tough guy to figure out and he was one of the very few people that got close to Nick. Once you´ve gained the young mans trust, he would be your friend for life. It was just that it was a long and dwindling road to get there and very few had the patience to walk there.
“Mpfff..” Nick stirred in his sleep, mumbling something incoherent. “Nooo!” His forehead was in deep wrinkles and it appeared as he was in pain.
With a soft touch, Brian stroked Nick on his cheek, calming him down, while whispering,” Shhh, go to sleep.”
Once again Nick stirred, but he didn´t wake up.
With a deep sigh, Brian leaned back in his leather seat, thinking back on the past two days. They had been turbulent, to say the least, and he hadn´t got any chance to sit down and talk to Nick. The schedule was very pressed and the guys had to work on several songs. That, combined with the fact that Nick avoided him, acting like everything was just peachy, had Brian confused. He´d slept bad the past two nights and when Leighanne had asked him what was wrong he told her a “white” lie. It hurt his heart, keeping such an important secret from her. Still, he knew that if he betrayed his friend with such a matter, Nick would never forgive him and he could never gain the trust again. Too many people had burned Nick throughout his years and these things had set footprints on his soul.
Brian had told Leighanne that he had an indigestion problem and that he thought that he might be coming down with the same disease as Nick. The flu! Leighanne, not looking too convinced had left it there. Dropping the issue.
It wasn´t until Sunday evening when Nick had gone into his room to pack for his trip back home, that Brian had a chance to sit down and talk. To his surprise Nick had asked Brian if he could come back with him to Florida. This could be interpreted like a cry for help, since the young man was very hard headed and rarely asked anyone for help. Especially not these days.
Brian had agreed to go back with Nick and to his wife he said that he was helping Nick sorting out some personal problems. He was just going to be away for a few days and even if Leighanne had agreed upon it his guts told him that she was not very happy over the situation. She claimed that he was keeping something from her and once again he felt terrible lying for her. Comforting himself he thought about that this was for the benefit of Nick and that he needed him more than she did. Either way he did he felt bad. Leighanne was in a moody period of her life, much due to the pregnancy and she was very emotional. Crying, having outbursts. Brian knew that she didn´t want to be left alone and it was with a pang in his heart that he followed Nick back.
When he told the rest of the guys that he was going to accompany Nick there were various reactions. Kevin had taken him aside asking if there were anything wrong. Another lie, this time to his cousin, “ the father” of the group. Brian was a bad liar and he had no clue how long he was going to be able to keep up this charade. He decided to talk to Nick and get him to change his opinion of not telling the guys. After all, this was a too big of a burden to carry all by himself.
Looking at the blonde by his side, Brian felt worried. He didn´t look so good with his pale features and flushed cheeks. Judging by his facial expression he could tell that he was in some kind of pain. Nick cradled his stomach with one hand and he moaned softly in his sleep. This was not a great sign.
The flight took way too long and Brian, never being much of a flyer although not as bad as Nick, was pretty beat when the stewardess announced that they were soon going to land and that the trays should be put up and seatbelts fasten.
Shaking Nick slightly on his shoulder he tried to get his attention. Groaning Nick opened his eyes, peering at his friend with blurry vision. A bit disoriented he looked around in the plane, “ Where..Where did all the girls go?” he asked confused.
Brian couldn´t help but smile, “ You were dreaming about girls? Oh Frack when is your brain ever resting?”
“Huh?” It was clear that Nick didn´t follow his lines and Brian saw it fit to clarify the situation. “ There are no girls here...unfortunately.” He smiled.” You´re on a plane. Dreaming.”
“ Oh!” Nick ran his hand through his hair and then leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes again. ”What time izzit?”
“Dinnertime, 6:35 pm and we will soon be landing.”
“Mhm.” Nick yawned and stretched his joints as he made another, more serious attempt, to wake up. Now that he was more awake Brian felt it was ok to ask Nick some questions about his health.
“How´re you feelin’?”
He knew that Nick wasn´t too hot in talking about himself and his situation. And certainly not discussing his own health. This came from a long way back, from the early days, when everybody called him a whiner. It was partly true. Nick had been and was in a certain amount still a whiner, but he was also easily exhausted and had no strength in fighting off germs.
“Better.”
The young man wasn´t very talkative and Brian made a lame try to get him into a conversation. “You should since you´ve slept through two meals and two movies. Not that you missed anything. It was some boring war movie.”
“Ok.”
“Talk about fun company.” Brian grinned.
“Sorry.”
Frowning, Brian looked at his friend. He´d expected some smart reply and when Nick didn´t even make a small smile he shook his head slightly. This was not the Nick that he used to know. He had to do something to cheer his friend up.
“You wanna go fishing when we get to your home?” he asked, knowing that Nick never stood up a chance to go out with his boat.
“Can´t, we have to go to the Tampa house.” He went silent for awhile, continuing, “Closer to the hospital.”
That was right. Nick wasn´t signed in Miami hospital, and therefore couldn´t go to Marathon. The place that he liked the best. “ Besides,I don´t know if I feel up to it.” Nick mumbled as he straighted up his seat. “ My stomach feels all wierd.”
“ I meant we can go tomorrow or the day after..” Brian stopped in midsentence, he could have bit his toungue. Tomorrow was time for Nick's visit at the hopsital and then he was scheduled for radiation treatment throughout the rest of the week.
“Can´t do,” Nick sighed, “I get really tired after the radiation..” He paused for a moment before continuing, “and sick.”
Brian didn´t know what to say. He hated seeing Nick so low.
“ Sorry,” Nick murmured, looking down on the floor.
He seemed so pathetic that Brian wanted to give him a real bear hug, instead he patted him on the shoulder. After all they were adults and adults don´t hug each other. Especially not men and NOT the Backstreet Boys! There had been many gay rumors through out the years and they couldn´t be more wrong. They were all straight and liked woman. It was mostly Nick who was the one who liked hugging other people. He was a natural and needed lots of affection. Brian took him in when he was young, being his older brother. Staying by his side in sickness and in health, litteraly.
They had been through good and bad times and their friendship was constantly tested. Brian prayed for Nick many times and these last days he prayed that Nick would be well again. It was terrible seeing someone with so much life, slowly draining away.
“What you´re thinking of?” Nick asked when Brian had been quiet for awhile.
“What?,” he jerked, “Oh nothing.”
“You seemed like you were thinking of something. Something important.”
Brian shrugged, “Nah, I was just thinking of the furture.” He bit his lip again when clouds of sadness flashed over his friends face.
“What future?” Nick murmured as a tear trickled down his cheek.
