A Little Story - 12/3/2001 Welcome to the story about a boy and girl. It's kind of dramatized and loosely based on a true story. Here's the cast: Darren: A nervous 15-year old who liked wrestling, video games, cartoons, and weighed about 120 pounds. Cassidy: A cheerful, frivolous girl who was somewhat shy and had a high grade point average. It all started in the beginning of 2000. Boy hairstyles that went horizontal in the front were all the rage, and the world was still giggling at itself over having thought the Y2K problem was an actual threat. Meanwhile, in the world of professional wrestling, The Outsiders teamed up with Jeff Jarret and Bret Hart to form the nWo for a third time. It was January 18th, 2000. Young Darren was beginning the 2nd semester of 10th grade at school. He had managed to weasel his way through the first semester, but things were looking up this time. For one thing, he had liked this one girl for 5 months and was planning to talk to her eventually. She was a hot blonde chick named.....eh, he hadn't learned what her name was, but that wasn't important. What was important was that she was hot and Darren wanted to make her his first girlfriend. In addition, he liked all his classes so far, but was dreading one of them: French. The subject of French did not bother him as much as the teacher, Mrs. Bogglesworth. Now this was a teacher with whom Darren had some problems. She was the type of teacher who was difficult, strict, and basically just made it hard for kids to do well in school. In the first semester, Darren had taken harsh criticisms from her such as "minimal effort" and "limited class participation". The ultimate pain was when Mrs. Bogglesworth caught him cheating on a test. Ouch. Fortunately, Darren made it through 1st semester French with a solid D and knew he would be lucky to pass in the 2nd. As much as he knew he would hate it, Darren walked in that French room with his chin up, and his head held high. He then made his way over to a desk in the back corner of the room, in the furthest possible place from the teacher's desk. Surprisingly enough, two girls sat in desks nearby him and talked to him all of a sudden. One of them he knew was friendly and somewhat outgoing. She was nice enough to talk to Darren using the whole "hi, how are you" thing. Maybe she was pretending to be interested, maybe not. But the next person to talk to him was the first girl's friend. Darren had never met her before, but she seemed nice. Unlike most people who talked to him, she seemed genuinely interested. She seemed like she would make a nice friend, but Darren didn't really think about her in a girlfriend sense. In the back of his mind was that girl he had liked for 5 months who was hotter than the generic looking, kind of pretty girl he was talking to now. Still though, Darren wanted to make a good impression on this person because there was a chance she could be a school friend in the making. Her name was Cassidy.
And that's where it all began.....
The first thing she asked Darren was if he would be in an honors class this year, because the math teacher had said something about that in a class they had together in the previous semester. It was, of course, a mistake in the scheduling. Here's where the idea for the good impression came in. Darren felt the need to say something interesting or funny, so he quickly searched through his mind. In the movies, when a character is trying to say something while trying to make a good impression, it usually ends up being something ridiculous like "one time I sneezed and a corn came out of my nose" or "I saw a dead cat last week". This was not the case in Darren's situation, not at all. He wittingly replied, "No, I don't think a D in regular math is likely to get me into any honors classes". Yeah, it wasn't that funny, but Cassidy liked it anyway and continued talking to him and they were school friends for the next 3 days. Why did it only last 3 days? Mrs. Bogglesworth turned out to excersize her bitchiness to the extreme by forcing the entire class to change seats with an assigned cheating chart. Darren liked talking to Cassidy and hoped they would be assigned in desks nearby one another. Ouch again. They both had to sit in the front row, but it was in opposite corners of the room. Darren was upset because he had been separated from someone who made him feel comfortable and was possibly a good friend in the making. But oh well, there was still the unnamed hot chick whom Darren always seemed to have in the back of his mind. A Little Story 2.0 - 12/3/2001 Despite not sitting next to him anymore, Cassidy still said hi to Darren a few times during the following weeks. Unfortunately, Darren seemed to be losing the comfort level he had with her. It was probably because they didn't talk on a regular basis anymore, but he actually began to feel nervous. One day, a thought occurred to Darren. He wasn't interested in Cassidy right now because he liked someone else, but why? The girl he liked was hot, but she also had a boyfriend for as long as Darren could remember, and she didn't even seem very nice. Five months is kind of a long time to like someone, but maybe it would be best to just let it go. He thought about this during a sleep-inducing lecture from the French teacher one day. He thought about the girl he liked, and he thought about Cassidy, who was across the room. She looked so peaceful and pretty sitting over there, obviously she was a likable person. A battle took place in his mind, and what it came down to was nice and sort of pretty vs. hot and not very nice. Nice won. For the first time, Darren decided to be non-shallow and like someone based on personality. And it was at that point he realized he was falling for Cassidy. It was a Friday, so he spent some time thinking about her during the weekend. In his mind he dumped the crush he liked before for Cassidy. What was not to like about her? She was caring, nice, shy, unpopular, talked to him spontaneously, and laughed at his jokes even though they weren't very funny. Fortunately, Cassidy talked to Darren several times after that. Although each time he was pretty damn nervous, now that he was officially in like. On March 8th of that year, a nice thing happened. There were only a few minutes left in French class, and Darren was quietly sitting there doing nothing. All of a sudden, Cassidy and her friend came over and Cassidy sat in the desk next to him. They began a conversation with him but he wasn't quite sure what to say. He was nervous and shaky, so he couldn't really think of anything. It would have been nice to have more confidence and a topic for conversation, but still he felt good that someone he liked talked to him. Oh yeah, one thing that definitely made Darren insecure about himself was the fact that he was underweight. This was a real problem, and it was stuck in his mind that no one would like him unless he gained at least 20 or 30 pounds. He decided that he would start making conversations with Cassidy in the fall when 11th grade began. By then he'd probably gain lots of weight and would be more confident. In the meantime, a few more things happened. On Friday, March 31st, Darren left the school and was waiting for someone to pick him up in a car. About 100 feet away, he saw Cassidy come out of the building and going to someone else's car. He thought that she probably didn't notice he was there, but just before she left, she waved at him and he waved too. It was eerily beautiful. This gave Darren a pleasant thought for the weekend, but when he returned to school on Monday a not so good thing happened. Report cards were handed out, and he got a 1.57. It wasn't the grades so much that bothered him, the problem was that students who got below 1.67 had to go to study skills every day from 2:30 - 3:30. This would be awful, and the next 5 days were extremely stressful. Darren wanted to do anything in his power to see if he could have his grades changed to get above the 1.67 mark. He talked to each teacher, but it turns out no one was willing to help. There was one teacher whom he thought cared about him and he came up with the idea of taking points off his 4th quarter grade to put on 3rd quarter's, which were the grades on the report card. The teacher was not willing to go through with this plan, and all's she did was tell him that study skills would probably be good for him. Oh yeah, and she laughed too. Darren felt betrayed. Fortunately, it turned out that some people he didn't think cared about him actually did. He went to the counselor, who talked to a teacher about him going to do extra science work after school. This would raise his grade just barely enough to get to a 1.71. The plan worked, and by the skin of his teeth Darren had managed to escape from the clutches of study skills. With that out of the way, it was time to start focusing on Cassidy again. April 12th rolled around, and that would be the day French students would be doing dialogues in front of the class. Afterwards, they would be watching a movie. Darren was partnered with a smart kid who wrote the entire dialogue on his own. The presentation went just fine, but afterwards Darren noticed someone was sitting in his chair. He found an empty chair in another part of the room, one that just happened to be a little bit closer to Cassidy. The room was dark and the movie began. Darren was sitting next to Cassidy's friend, and Cassidy was also next to her friend but on the other side. Something happened next that was surprising: they suddenly switched seats, so that Cassidy was now next to Darren. You bet he was scared! Cassidy was putting on chapstick, and that was usually something that would have gotten his attention. However, he didn't want to make it obvious he liked her, so he kept his eyes on the tv. But out of the corner of his eye, Darren saw the two girls talking and writing something. After several minutes, Cassidy gave him a sheet of paper and a pen. It was a note! Apparently he was supposed to write back, that's why she gave him the pen. The note started out with "Hey buddy" and basically said that he did a good job on his dialogue and some other stuff. He rackled through his brain, trying to think of something, anything to wrote, but couldn't. His heart was beating pretty fast though. After a few minutes, he gave back the paper and pen with nothing written on it. It was sad he couldn't think of anything to write, but that incident was the best thing that happened all month. A Little Story 3.0 - 12/3/2001 Time went by, and no real interactions with Cassidy took place for the rest of the school year. Although there were several times when Darren would look up at Cassidy and she immediately turned away, so apparently she was looking at him. Final exams came along, and Darren failed French (but didn't have to go to summer school). It was now the beginning of summer. During the summer, Darren thought about her kind of a lot. He gained some weight too and hoped Cassidy would like him better because of it. Not as much as he hoped, but some. Time went by, and then came the first day of 11th grade in Autumn 2000. Luckily, Darren and Cassidy had the same homeroom. The next class was 1st hour, and things went uphill from there. Darren found a desk to sit in in the back corner of the room. He happened to be near a popular girl, who all of a sudden said "hey Cassidy!" and waved for her to come sit next to her. A white cloud appeared, and there she was. She walked by Darren, and sat in the desk that happened to be next to him. He was hoping Cassidy would say hi to him, but she didn't, although Darren could have said something to her. Yep, that woulda be a good idea. In retrospect, he probably could have said just about anything: "Hi"......"How are you?"......"Did you have a good summer?"......"Will you marry me?" Unfortunately, he said nothing at all that day. And then something happened the next day that made him feel bad. 1st hour began, as usual. Cassidy was sitting in a different desk than last time, but still it was one close to Darren. It was okay though, because he figured he'd talk to her eventually. The disturbing part was this: a boy came in and sat in a desk several feet away, and guess what happened? Cassidy waved at him. Not Darren, HIM. Ugh. By that point, and by the fact that Cassidy didn't talk to him anymore, Darren decided it might be a good idea to just give up. He wouldn't give up completely, but it might be a good idea to forget about her for the most part. Although he didn't like her as much as he used to, Darren still would look at the empty desk in homeroom each day, waiting for Cassidy to come. And of course, she usually did. For most of the year, no interactions with her took place. However, a good thing happened during the 11th grade retreat. It was during free time and there were lots of activities to do. Darren and his friend were playing foosball and his friend walked away, leaving him alone at the foosball table. It just so happened that Cassidy walked by, and with a sudden surge of courage, Darren asked if she wanted to play. They played foosball for about a minute until the retreat director said it was time to have lunch, and then they left. It wasn't much of a noteworthy event, but it was an event nonetheless. It was in June of 2001 that Darren started thinking about her again. No one had reached out to him the way Cassidy did, and it was possible that no one would ever again. That's when I......eh, I mean Darren made a decision. Cassidy deserved a chance: a BIG chance, despite how she seemingly abandoned him during the 11th grade year. It was 12th grade, the final year of high school, and by the end of the year he was definitely gonna tell her. Not much happened during the 12th grade year, up until the retreat on November 14th. Darren was once again not feeling very confident at all and didn't want to talk to Cassidy yet. But by coincidence, they happened to be going on the retreat on the same day and were in the same group. It's not a huge coincidence, but the odds of that happening are 18 to 1. The retreat was a challenging, yet fun-filled day, and Darren made some effort to talk to Cassidy. She might have noticed, because some things happened that day that made him think. She told him good job on one of the retreat challenges, she picked him in one of the games, and she talked at him more than anyone else during the challenges. Not only that, but Darren caught her looking at him about 10 times throughout the day. Each of these things on its own is meaningless, but the combination of the four are reasonable cause to believe that maybe Cassidy does care. Who knows. So concludes this little story, which maybe wasn't so little after all. Maybe it will have more chapters, maybe not. Only time will tell, my friend.
©©THE END©©
or is it? dun dun dunnnnn...... trying to find the answers - 12/6/2001 After reading this profound title, I bet you thought this entry would be something insightful. I have one thing to say about that: Poo!!! Hoo-hah! I also have to say neener neeners because all's I'm gonna talk about is what happened to me during the past two days. Yesterday All my troubles seemed so far away....hehe just kidding. But yay it was a pretty good day yesterday. One thing I am happy about is that I'm doing okay in grades. The only class I'm doing crappily in is my drafting but oh well. In the morning I did another good deed. I made a question/answer sheet for my religion test as I always do, since our teacher tells us beforehand what the answers and questions are. Since I already had that class and took the test, I let my friend Mark have the answer sheet so he can do that too. Eh, actually we've been doing that for the past 4 tests, but oh well! It was still a nice thing to do. It was a Wednesday. I sat there in first hour, thinking of what amazing adventures awaited me for the rest of the day. All of a sudden I hear Mark say "oh shit, I forgot to do something". I didn't think anything of it, since that dork is always doing something dumb. He forgot to do some homework, but then a bolt of lightning hit me in the brain: I also have that class, and I didn't do the homework either. Oh shit is right!! I asked if I could borrow his worksheet since he had half of the answers already. I copied his, but unfortunately that left the other half I still hadn't done. He asked a few people who also had that class, but no one had the worksheet with them and I didn't know who to ask. I spent about half the day trying to find the answers to the worksheet questions. Oh yeah! Cassidy's friend is in that class, so I decided to ask her. Unfortunately, she didn't have it either. D'OH!! When I finally got to the class where the worksheet was due I asked the person sitting next to me. He said "I can't give away answers, that would be cheating, it's not good to cheat" but before he could completely finish his sentence I'm like "fuck you!" But then we worked out an agreement that if he gave me the answers, I'd give him a dollar. So I wrote the answers down and he said "where's my dollar" and I said I'm not gonna give you a dollar. Then, he might've just been joking but he seemed all mad and stuff. I told him that when you do something, you're supposed to have the person pay you first and then you do the thing they want. He still was asking me for a dollar so I told him that you can't put a price on a good deed, which was helping me =). So I got the answers, and turned in my paper. Oh by the way, I got a 100% on it. Yip de do! Not only that, but I happened to be correcting Mark's paper, since the teacher always has us correct each others papers. He had only one answer wrong, but I changed it so he'd get a 100% too. But anyway, at the end of the class everyone left except for me, Cassidy, and her friend. Near the end of the class I looked up and then she immediatley turned away. Heh, that reminds me of the good 'ol days back in 10th grade. I looked at her before I left, and then turned and looked again before I walked out the door. I don't know if she noticed. Soon it was the end of the day and I was in the library, playing solitaire on the computer. And who should come in the library but her. I don't have a last class period but apparently she does, and she was doing something on the computers. The rest of the day was pretty tiring. I had to go to the doctor and then later I went to my driving class. Busy days are the worst! The happy part is that when I finish the class I can take a road test, so I might be driving as soon as 12/11. I hope that happens, if it does I'm gonna be as happy as a pig in poop! Today Today was okay. I tried to sleep during 4 of my classes, but unfortunately I'm not good at sleeping at desks so it didn't work. Oh well. I started the day by going into my first class, and the only person in the room was Cassidy. Cool! So I decided to be brave and talk to her. I walked by, and the funny part was we both said hi at the exact same time. Pretty neat huh? No! Just as I looked at her I realized it wasn't her, it was someone else. Someone who has the same body shape, hair, pants, and running shirt. Whoa. That was pretty embarrassing, but at least I didn't her name or anything cuz that woulda been really embarrassing. I seriously thought that was her. Gee willikers, I need to do something about this poor vision of mine. Cassidy's friend talked to me again, but now I'm getting the indication she doesn't care about me. The only reason she talks to me is because she's bored. She's one of those social people who has a fear of silence and always needs to be talking. So I should probably stop trying to be friends with her. Poor Mark. At the beginning of the day he got in trouble with the teacher, probably for skipping class a bunch of times this year. After the teacher had a word with him, I asked what happened but I guess he didn't want to talk about it. How sad. Oh jeez, I was playing solitaire in the library again after school. And Cassidy came again! This time she and 4 other people were doing work with the computers. Now, I have to do something or I'll regret that I never spoke to her. I was thinking of waving or something, but I don't think I could do that gracefully and besides other people were there so I didn't do anything. I didn't do any good deeds today, but I did three yesterday so I guess I'm off the hook. Yesterday we got A & W for dinner, and I didn't want my fries but my sister did want them so I gave them to her. Add that to me giving Mark my answer sheet and then on the worksheet marking the paper 100% even though one of the answers was wrong. Yay three deeds in one day. That's all there is to say, but one more thing I wanted to bring up was that everyone should read the diary entry before this one. You must read it, lest I will kill you! No not for real, but please read it because it took about 3 hours to write. So if people read it then I know writing it was worthwhile. In fact, you don't even have to read it, just leave a note and pretend you read it. Sound fair enough? Yeah! I thought so. there she was - 12/7/2001 This morning was pretty good, despite the fact that I woke up a little late. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair, even though I don't usually do that. I did 30 pushups in a row and wore my favorite shirt, it was exciting because today was an 11:00 dismissal. I was up and rarin to go for a short day of school. For the first time ever, I participated in my religion class by raising my hand. I was even surprised I did it, I was just in a brave mood at the time. The funny part was that the teacher's jaw practically hit the floor, since I haven't participated all year. It's probably a good thing I did it, cuz before I bet he thought I didn't care about my grade (I got a D+ in first quarter) but now he knows I do. Then the class after that, I came in and I was the only one in the room. I was waiting for Mark to come in so we could have yet another one of our entertaining conversations. Unfortunately, Mark didn't come in. Instead came Cassidy and her friend! Even though Cassidy doesn't have that class she came anyway to do homework with her friend. I was thinking of saying something but I didn't. I didn't wanna say hi because I didn't want to embarrass her in front of her friend. And then Mark came in and started talking about a tv show or something and I was completely ignoring him. Cassidy was there for a few more minutes, and when she walked out the door I'm like "aw, piss". Then I started talking to Mark. Mark is my best school friend, I'm thinking I should tell him I like Cassidy. I don't know if I want to tell him or not. I'm not friends with him outside school so he's not exactly trustworthy, but the worst that could happen is he tells somebody. And that's what I want to happen eventually, I don't want to go the whole year and have her not find out. Not only that, but I could find out if she has a boyfriend already or not. Oh no....I hope she doesn't. But I'm gonna tell her anyways on December 21st, and it might even be good to have some buildup to that. Like if there was a rumor or something that I liked her, which got her thinking in advance. Hmm...not might not be a bad plan. So you see kids, you can use rumors to your advantage. They're not all bad. For the rest of the day I was kind of mad, at myself of course. I kind of wish I would have done something with that opportunity. I was kind of mad at myself about the past too. At the next class, I sat down and I'm like "oh, shit". Mark asked what was wrong and I said nothing. And then in another class I wasn't doing any work, I was just sitting there scratching the plastic part of the desk with my pencil. I was so focused that I didn't notice the teacher was right behind me and asked what I was working on. I said I was doing the work and she said "no you're not, you're screwing around with that" and pointed to the desk. What a mean bitch. Mark is probably the person I'm most comfortable with. He's my best school friend and is one of the only people who talks to me like I'm normal. I hope that when I get my drivers' license, maybe we can be out of school friends cuz then I'll be able to drive to peoples' houses. But I really want to tell him I like Cassidy. Who knows, maybe he'll tell me if he likes someone, and we can talk about girls sometimes. Most people don't know this, but one of the main goals of all middle school and high school boys is to prove to the world that you're 100% straight. You can't give anyone the slightest doubt about your sexual preferences. Mark probably knows anyway, but if we talk about girls then that'll be proof. I don't see what bad could come telling him so I probably should. Nothing else happened today. I've been meaning to e-mail my grandparents, they are nice people and I'd like to communicate with them more often. Unfortunately I can't think of much to say other than "Hello....how are you". What are you supposed to say to old people? It's hard. On the bright side, I just realized a happy thought. I might have two friends in the making! Both Cassidy and Mark. That would be so cool if I became friends with them. Cuz I'd have two friends and I didn't think I was gonna have any. Yay! Hrm, guess what? I can't think of anything else to write about! I probably won't have anything to write about until Monday, so I guess I'll see you all's then. Buh bye! Love,
Me Three-parter #3 - 12/8/2001 It's time for another three part entry! Usually when I make these they're just talking about silly things, but this time I'm gonna be serious. I hope you enjoy it anyway, have fun reading!
A Talent to Good Use
First of all I want to say I am really sorry to everyone who reads my entries and finds that I seem to talk about a girl I like in every single one. I'm sure it's not very interesting and there are probably much better things to talk about. But then again, it's not like someone's putting a gun to your head and making you read this damn thing. It's your choice, you read it out of free will. In fact, I always spend about 20 minutes slaving over a hot computer just to give you something to read. So if anything, you owe me an apology! Hoo-hah! Without further apu, I take my sorry back! Anyway, I have a talent I discovered this year and thought of putting it to good use. I always like drawing stuff, especially in school. Not to sound arrogant or anything, but people sometimes happen to glance at my drawings when they walk by and are like, "wow, that's awesome". So they must be good. I don't draw people, things, or even any specific kind of pattern. I just draw random patterns and shapes. They're very small and detailed though. It takes about an hour to make a drawing that takes up two square inches of space, and I use a mechanical pencil to make sure lots of detail goes into a small area. In fact, yesterday my friend Mark saw one of my drawings and he was like "did you draw that?" and he said it was really good. If you've been keeping up with my diaries, you'd know I'm gonna tell this one girl I like her on December 21st. Our school has these Christmas messages you can buy, and I'm gonna send one to her and write something nice on it. But then I thought of a good idea, what if I put a drawing on it too? It would be like a bonus to the message I'm going to send. I could spend maybe 2 hours or so making the drawing and when she notices how detailed it is, she might be like "wow, this person must have spent a long time making this just for me." Hehe, wouldn't that be good? I think I'm gonna do that, that way she'll know I care. After watching Problem Child 3, I found out that nothing melts a woman's heart like a good deed. Screw two hours. I could even spend 3 or 4 hours on the drawing to make it even better. If she really is special, I can't put a price tag on her. Or in this case, a time tag. Eh, I don't know if such a thing exists but oh well. But what difference does 3 hours make if this turns out to be someone I marry eventually. This could be a person I come home from work every day and say "honey, I'm home", and go to PTA meetings with and fill out health insurance forms with. So maybe I will spend 3 or 4 hours on the drawing. Besides, it's not like I actually have a life or have anything better to do. =)
Alcohol = Bad
One of my teachers said something during his lecture yesterday that made me think. He started out by saying "there's something most of you do when you get to be about 14 or 15", and I'm thinking "great, he's gonna say something about puberty." But then he said "At that age, most of you start drinking". My first thought was that he was way off, I was like "no we don't!" but then I thought about it for a second and then it occurred to me.....yes we do. My driving teacher was telling us alcohol stories a few days ago. Even if you aren't driving, it's still dangerous. This one kid was drinking vodka before school, and when he came in he was drunk. He fell asleep in his first class while he was drunk, and guess what? He never woke up, because he had so much alcohol that his body couldn't process it all. That means he died. The point is, alcohol = bad. Maybe it's fun to be drunk but it never leads to anything good. It causes addictions, accidents, and death. I didn't mean to offend anyone who read this, because drinking alcohol doesn't make you an evil person. It's just a bad thing in itself.
I Love Open Diary!
I really do. Maybe I'm not concerned with the spiritual growth of a website, but I just love going here. I like writing my diary, reading other peoples', and reading the notes you wonderful readers leave for me. I think this is the best site ever! Just recently, I found out how to put other diaries in my diary favorites. I didn't know you could do that! But now that I do I think it's soooo cool. I go to this site a bunch of times every day, I'm hopeless addicted to it. I guess you could say that I OD on OD. *~*~*~LoL~*~*. Everyone should click the sponsor links to help support Open Diary. If you really care about this site then you should do it. It helps keep OD going. So concludes the third three-parter I've written since joining the OD community. I hope everyone liked it! =) Love,
Me here's a cookie...haha....ya dropped your cookies - 12/10/2001 About the title, I'm not really sure where that came from. But it's a line from the show "Hey Arnold!" and I think it's hilarious. Whooo-wheeee!!!! What a day! Actually not really. My day was okay. I got back this one drafting paper and I got a 67% on it, and surprisingly I was pretty satisfied with that. When I do turn them I usually get 50% or so, so it's good I passed this time. BOO-YA!!! Today this hot, hot chick was walking around during my first class, and was carrying this box. It was for money for a charity, and she was getting mad because no one was giving any money. Being the nice chap that I am, I always donate to charities when the opportunity arouses. Er, I mean when the opportunity arises. I happened to have a dollar with me at the time, so I put it in the box and she was really happy. She patted me on the back and said "here's a good guy!" Oh yeah, I'm such a pimp. Did I mention she was really hot? Hehe. Have you ever seen Mystery Science Theater 3000, that show on Comedy Central? Mark and I were just like the robots on MST3000 today. We were watching a video during class about presidents or something, and we were making witty comments the whole time. There was a campaign for Al Gore, and I said "don't be a whore, vote for Gore!". And then it got to this one part where they were talking about Lyndon B. Johnson. After they mentioned his name I audibly muttered the word "johnson", and someone looked at me. It was kind of funny, you see cuz johnson has a double meaning. It's a last name, but it could also mean penis. You know a penis, the body part that a man has. Like a willy! Or a jimmy! Or pedro! Ah, there are so many names for penis. I just love watching videos in school and making gay little comments on them, it's fun. This week we'll be watching East of Eden at school so that's gonna be even more interesting.
shuh-SHA!!
Guess what? I had the written portion of my driving test today. I didn't even know we were gonna have a test, and when he passed it out I didn't know most of the answers. I was scared, I mean really scared. I thought I was gonna fail and have to take the whole class again. But I read them more and calmed down, and was able to answer all of them. Instead of the teacher correcting our tests, we corrected them ourselves. The first answer, boom I got it wrong. I decided to cheat and erased it to make it the correct answer. It turned out that after that I only got one answer wrong, and it's possible to get 3 wrong and still pass. There's only 15 questions. So to be a good little boy I erased the right answer for that first question and marked it wrong. Still I only got two wrong and passed!!! I got my certificate of completion. Unfortunately I need to take a road test and I'm probably gonna fail that. I'm already nervous! I think I'll be taking it on Friday. The bad part is I have to do it with a big van that has 7 seats. Whoa, that last sentence sounded pretty perverse. But seriously it's hard parking with a big car and I haven't been able to do it yet. I guess I will have to practice some before then but I don't know. Ugh! Oh well even if I fail I can still take it again but it costs $40 each time you do it. Wow I am really rambling right now, I guess cuz I'm nervous. But I'm gonna go, goodbye and thanks for reading everybody! I love you all!!!! ~DorkAlert some thoughts on homosexuality - 12/11/2001 I'm heterosexual, I'll tell you right off the bat. You'll especially know this if you've read my recent entries. But I was getting some ideas lately. Something my friend and I were arguing about recently is whether or not it's okay to be gay. It turned out that I was actually arguing with his brother who had taken over his screen name at the time, but that's not the point. When I first think about people being gay, it seems kind of gross. God made Adam and Eve, He didn't make Adam and Steve. It seems kind of unnatural, possibly even comparable to incest. Is it okay to be gay? I really don't know. Morally.....maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Socially, I'd have to say no. You're likely to get beat up or made fun of if someone finds out that you're gay. But then again, I guess you could get beat up about a lot of things. Of course, I would never put down or make fun of someone who is gay. I like peace-loving hippie philosophies that strive for a world filled with peace and love. I'd like to be able to accept my fellow human beings even if I don't agree with their beliefs or behaviors. and the world could live as one....... Something else this person brought up is that homosexuality is against the Bible. I am a Christian and try to live by the Bible, but the parts of it of which I believe in are the important ones. I believe in the Bible's guidance and life lessons. I believe in its spiritual meaning. But something we must understand is that it is not completely historically accurate. Therefore, I do not necessarily believe in all of its historical facts. It's not a history book, and does not include facts such as the existence of dinosaurs and the possibility of evolution. It says that the universe was created in 7 days. It explains that the earth started with a human male and female, who had two children. One of their sons was Cane, and he seemed to be the youngest descendant living on earth. But then all of a sudden, the Bible mentions Cane's wife. Where did she come from? It never explains how she got there, but she did. Although the people who wrote it may have had divine inspiration, they were not perfect writers and the people who translated the Bible into various languages did not provide perfect translations. In addition, the writers of the Bible may have added some of their own things. This goes to show that the Bible is not historically accurate and doesn't include a lot of stuff. Another thing is that the Bible may not have been socially accurate. One time I was reading it, and it explains how slavery was socially acceptable at the time. Nowadays it would be considered pretty inhumane, for one person to own another. I don't support homosexuality, but I'm not against it. However, I'm not indifferent to it either. Scientifically, it's unnatural. A brother and sister, or cousins of the opposite sex shouldn't have relations together. It's also unnatural for two people of the same gender to have sex, because they can't reproduce from it. These kind of behaviors just seem strange to me. Sometimes I think it's disgusting and disturbing. However, I can't say I've ever met a gay person so maybe I'm being too judgmental. These are some thoughts I've had, but maybe as long as your heart is pure and you do what is morally right, sexual preferences don't matter a whole lot. I'm not sure exactly where I stand on this subject, but leave notes and tell me whatcha think. Bye for now. Love,
me the goodness of gum - 12/12/2001 I've decided to become a gum chewer. Yeppers, that's a funny way to start out a diary but I think it's a good idea. The other day I went to the liquor store because we ran out of paper cups, and I noticed a whole bunch of gum right at the checkout counter. I decided "why not?" and bought some. I don't know what it is about gum, but when you're chewing it seems to make you a better person. It makes you more confident and more badass. When I have gum in my mouth, I feel like if I wanted to I could just go up to someone and punch them, like in the cowboy movies. I've never been able to blow bubbles, but I'll practice and maybe someday I'll be able to do it. So try chewing gum, it's super cool. Yay! Alright, now that I've finished writing a completely goofy and random paragraph, I'm gonna talk about today. Yesterday I found out that the Christmas messages our school does are going on sale. So today I made sure to bring money with me, and at the very start of the morning I knew my mission was to buy one. Oh yeah, time to talk about Cassidy again! Did you seriously think I was gonna go for three whole entries without talking about her? Ha! (Mrs. Krabapple laugh). Anyway, I had to take a test in my first class. I finished it as quickly as possible, because I knew in my 2nd class, there's people from student council there who stand around and talk before class starts. The good thing about this is that it's student council people who are selling the messages. Unfortunately, when I got there they weren't there! I asked Mark about it and he forgot he was supposed to buy Christmas messages too. Whoopsa daisy! I asked someone else during the day, but unfortunately I still wasn't able to buy any. But then I was in the library during lunch, and there was this girl who I thought was in student council. I asked her and she had messages with her! So I bought some and I guess you could say the mission was accomplished. Yay! Ah jeez, this diary really blows. I'm just having a hard time expressing my thoughts today. Honestly it's not usually this boring. So anyway, I went to the library after school and spent about 48 minutes working on the drawing. In case you didn't read the entry from a few days ago, I'm making a drawing on the message. I think she might like it. Unfortunately, as I was drawing it in the library, Cassidy's friend walked in and said hi and waved at me. I quickly stashed the message in my pocket, but after she sat at one of the tables I took it out and started drawing again. All in all I spent over 90 minutes on it, and it's almost halfway done. I think it looks nice so far. Hmm....what else. Oh yeah! I saw an episode on the Simpsons I've never seen before. Which was weird because I'm a Simpsons freak and I thought I'd seen EVERY episode. And guess who guest starred on it? All of the Red Hot Chili Peppers! Oh my gosh, that was so cool! My favorite band on my favorite tv show. Totally awesome dude! Eh, time to go now. This diary = blows. I better get to work on the drawing anyway. I hope the drawing turns out to be as beautiful as she is. HAHAHA no I'm just jokin with ya. ;) Love,
Me the deed has been done - 12/14/2001 Yowza, I had to wake up at 5 o'clock this morning. Actually though it wasn't that bad, I was less tired than usual since I went to bed at 12:00 which is early for me. *~*~LOL!!!~*~* The reason I went in early was cuz I had a problem with my schedule and had to talk to the mean 'ol director of student services. It's weird, sometimes she's a super bitch but then 5 seconds later she'll be nice. She goes from being Mrs. Sunshine to Mrs. Raging Tornado. Anyway, the speech class is a graduation requirement and I haven't had it yet. This is my last year in high school so I need to have it put on my schedule. At first she was mad and said I might need to get rid of my senior privileges. She can't do that, senior privileges are what I live for! That is the reason I get to leave at 12:54 every damn day. Fortunately, how it turned out was that I didn't have to lose my senior privileges. Instead she just dropped this one class that I didn't want to have in the first place. YAY!! It's times like this I feel that God is definitely looking out for me. =) I did some not good, but great deeds today. For starters, last night I finished making a drawing on a Christmas message I was going to send to Cassidy. She's the girl I like, and the drawing took 3 or 4 hours to make. This morning I wrote a message on it, right before I left for school. My hands were shaking but I wrote it anyway. When I got to school, I put it in the box right away so it's going to be sent to her. In a way I sort of regret doing that, but the box is locked (hehe, like a "lock box") so it's too late to take it back. She's going to get the message and that's the end of that tale. If she appreciates it then it was a good deed. I made it through 6 pieces of gum today, one for every class. I'm so glad that teachers don't care anymore when you have gum, even though it's a Catholic school and they're expected to be strict. The best part of the day was during my science class. I'm going to introduce a new character here, let's just call him Joey. I used to talk to him kind of a lot, mostly in 9th grade, but not much anymore. Joey is a dorky kid just like Mark and me. Mark is my best school friend, and shame on you if you didn't already know this because it means you didn't read my previous entries. I kind of feel bad for Joey, because he does fairly well in school but when the teacher calls on him he never knows the answers. So today the teacher asked him a question and he was just sitting there. Some time had gone by, so I decided to do something. I covered my mouth with my hand and muttered the answer, and that's the answer he told the teacher. It was sort of a guess, but surprisingly it was right! Joey was happy about that and afterwards he looked at me and I thumbs up'ed him. Actually, I might have said the answer too loud, because about 6 people looked at me, including Cassidy. Oh jeez, I just happened to look up at her at the time that happened, and when she looked I turned away because I didn't want her to think I was a pervert who likes to stare at her. However, the important part is that the teacher didn't hear me and I helped someone out. It was a great friggin moment. Cornflabbit, I really suck in my drafting class. I've just given up on how to do the projects, and 2 days ago I decided my plan would be to just copy the drawings of the kid who sits next to me because he lets me borrow them. Unfortunately, he doesn't let me borrow them until they've been graded, and the teacher is being slow about returning assignments. So now I'm pretty much sitting in the mud. I don't care though, that's the only class I'm doing badly in, and I just play games on my calculator the whole time. All in all, it was quite a fine day. Who knows, maybe someday I will get to be friends with Joey and Mark, since the two of them are friends already. And maybe someday I'll be friends with the lovable Cassidy. Goodbye, and..... Toodle fucking oo. what the hell is A.D.D.? - 12/15/2001 From the summer of 1990 to the summer of 2000, there was a family who lived next door to us. They were annoying sometimes but they were nice, and to be honest I miss them now. They've been living in another city for 1.5 years, and last night I went with my family to visit them for the first time since they moved. I thought it was fun, they have one son who is 15 and one who is 8. When I first got there I brought a bunch of Nintendo 64 games with me (they have N64 too) and my sister and I went to play them with their younger son. I didn't feel like talking to them, or even standing around for a few minutes doing nothing, I just went straight to the Nintendo 64. Then we turned on the Nintendo 64 and played Mario Kart 64. It was kind of fun since I haven't played that game in over a year, and we were doing battle mode. But then after about 10 minutes I started getting really bored. We played some other games but then I got bored with those too. Afterwards, we went to have some food. After I finished my food, I was going to sit there while the grownups talked just to be polite and in case anyone wanted to talk to me. I stayed there for maybe 5 minutes before I went back to the tv to play Nintendo 64 with my sister (who is 10) and the kid that's 8 years old. Again I got bored and said we should watch tv instead. The boy said that the cable doesn't work on the tv and we'd have to watch tv in another room. I was gonna ask why it didn't work, but I didn't feel like listening to an explanation, so I just went to the tv in the living room. It just so happened that Doug was on and I decided to watch it. It seemed a little tiresome, but I watched it anyway because there was probably nothing else on. And then their father came in and gave me the remote and said "you don't have to watch Nickelodeon", thinking that I didn't turn to that channel deliberately. What, just because I'm 17 means I'm not supposed to like Nickelodeon? What is up with that? Anyway, they said I should come with them so they could show us the rooms in their house. Their house is so huge, one of the bedrooms not only has two closets, but each closet is about as big as a bedroom in our house. And one of the bathrooms is about the size of a high school locker room. Oh, but the cool part is that the wooden floor is all slippery, so you can run, and when you stop running you keep going. It's like ice, so that was pretty fun. Their poor 15-year old, he's already grown up. The whole time I was playing video games, watching cartoons, and sliding around on the floor, he was conversing with the adults. How boring. And here I am doing all that other stuff when I'm two years older. It was a good time though, while we were playing video games I was teaching the 8-year old some new words. He already knew what "balls" meant, so I taught him how to say ROOP POOP DOOTY. It took a while, at first he kept saying "shoop doop poopy" and then started saying "roop poop pudding" but eventually got it right. Then we started talking about poop and farts for a while. Unfortunately, it turns out that that boy is familar with profanities. I accidently dropped my controller at one point and was like "fuck!" and he goes "you said the F-word!" Oops. Overall it was fun, I just wish I didn't get bored so easily. This is changing the subject a little bit, but here's another thing: A lot of times when I read peoples' diaries, the ones I don't read on a regular basis, I'll just get through one paragraph or less and then leave a note. I don't have enough attention span to get through the whole thing, so there's probably something wrong with me. I probably have attention deficit disorder, and this is a problem with me going to college next year. I can't read the 4-page articles my religion teacher gives us over the weekends, so how am I supposed to read entire books? I can't focus for anything for more than 5 or 10 minutes. Hmm...I need a cure. Maybe someday I'll be able to go to a psychiatrist and he'll prescribe ritalyn or something. Oh well, I just felt like writing about my A.D.D. Love, DorkAlert So you just throw in a lemon - 12/16/2001 Diet Coke is disgusting. I don't know what the point of it is or why my family buys it so often. It's name implies that it's for people on a diet, but it's not like regular soda makes you fat anyway. They only have 140 calories and 0 grams of fat! It'd take probably like 50 cans of regular coke for you to even gain one pound, and even then you'd probably get kidney failure from excessive urination. I wrote an entry back in August about how much I loathe diet soda, the "Pepsi" one. You should read it, it's definately one of my better entries. Here's a linkie dinkie. I am convinced that the only difference between diet soda and regular is that in diet, it tastes like dark brown liquid poo. Why would companies make something so disgusting? I can't stand it! Anyway, it seems the good fellows at Coca Cola have come up with a product that's even more disgusting than Diet Coke. What could possibly be more disgusting, you're probably asking by now? Is it sewage? Raccoon breast milk? Cum in a can? Nope, it's even worse. Coca-Cola now makes Lemon flavored Diet Coke. And let me tell you, it's awful! I don't know why they would make something like this. Of course, I have been living under a rock for quite some time so perhaps this beverage has been in existence for several years without my knowledge. Oy, Coke II came out in 1985 and I did not know about it until 1994. Anyway, don't buy Diet Lemon Coke because it really blows balls. This is changing the subject, but I really like Malcom in the Middle, the tv show on Fox. I think it's one of the best shows on tv. It's intelligent and witty, but at the same time is rather goofy and frivolous. Frivolous, what a great word. Hehe. The plots are never anything deep, but the writers are very clever and always come up with good stuff. It's such a classic show. It's been on since January 2000 and is showing no signs of stopping, which is good. The part I like best about it is that there's no fake laughing in the background. It respects the viewers' intelligence, because it makes sure that if something is funny, you'd know it. You don't hear an audience laughing as though they're dangerously high every time someone makes a joke about politics or something. The only part I don't like about M.I.T.M. is Lois, she's a super bitch. However, a lot of shows change the characters' personalities. Take for instance, Matt on 7th Heaven. He used to be serious and got into his little sisters' problems all the time, and was like a little version of his pappy. Now he's just there for comic relief, kind of like Eric on Boy Meets World. So maybe they'll change Lois's character too. Maybe they'll make her more goofy and less bitchy. I think they should have her be a confused parent who tries to do the right thing and is a good disciplinarian, but screws up a lot. They should make her like the father on Grounded For Life. Yes, that would be much better because right now she just sucks. But maybe her character is changing as we speak, there was that one episode where she got drunk and tried to break into that one lady's car. Oh well I'm gonna go now, I just felt like writing about this stuff. Love ya!
=) what to do.... - 12/19/2001 Starting Monday, I found out I would be having a LOT of work this week. I didn't think I'd be able to do it all. Fortunately, I did a lot of my homework today. Before I didn't even know what was going on, I'd explain what I did for each class but I won't because that's boring. But I will say I'm using some strategy. In my drafting class I have no idea how to make the drawings, so I took random drawings from other people that have already been corrected and I'm copying them. Surprisingly, that takes a long time. And we had to enter a writing contest in my composition class, and all's I'm doing is entering a poem I wrote last year. Anyway, something came up involving Cassidy. Yeppers, time to talk about her again! =) As you already know from reading my 12/14 entry, I sent her a Christmas message this past Friday. This coming Friday, in two days, the messages are going to be distributed in homeroom. Unfortunately, the plan isn't going according to plan. What usually happens is that the class I have with Cassidy is the one right after homeroom. This would have been convenient, because when we got to that class I could have just told her it was from me. I didn't put my name on it before I sent it. But I found out on Friday we aren't going to even have homeroom until the end of the day, after 8th hour. I don't have an 8th hour class, I just go home before then. I'm willing to wait through the 8th hour time period and play computer games in the library or something, and also then I'll be able to find out if anybody sent me a message too. The bad part is that now I don't have an opportunity to tell her it was from me. I don't know if she's gonna know it's from me either since I didn't put my name on it. I really wanted to tell her by December 21st but now it looks like I might not have the chance too. And it's not like I get to see her after 8th hour.
What do I do now?
L
A lot to think about - 12/20/2001 I'm gonna start off the diary with a bunch of random things I've been meaning to talk about. We finished watching Schindler's List today in school, it was sooo good. The whole thing was sad with lots of dying up until it was more than halfway over, and then it got really heart wrenching. I could have cried. You should see it because it's awesome and is very touching. I talked about my drafting class before, how I'm failing it. But fortunately I've been taking the drawings of people who finished already and am copying their drawings. It sounds like the easy thing to do but it's not, I spent over an hour on Tuesday on each drawing. It's hard work. And then I came up with the coolest plan for my Government class. We had to hand in a worksheet the other day, which I hadn't done. So when we turned them in to correct each others' papers, I just held on to mine. I answered the questions as we were correcting the worksheet, and then gave myself a good grade. Go me! I'm so clever. I did three good deeds today. I gave my friend Mark some gum at the beginning of the day because he asked for some, and then I offered some to Joey at the end of the day even though he didn't ask. Then in one class this teacher was asking people if they had any change for some charity, I decided to give some because Cassidy is in that class and I wanted her to see me doing a good thing. But by the time I put some coins in the jar, the bell rang and she had already left the room. Oh well. Grrr...I am starting to not like my religion teacher. On Friday I was trying to sleep during a video, I didn't think the teacher would see me because it was dark. Unfortunately he did! He came and tapped me and said to wake up. Ugh. And then today I wasn't even sleeping, I just had my head down, and I saw the teacher walking across the room so I sat up straight and folded my hands like an attentive little angel. The teacher came by and said "were you sleeping?" and I said no. That's the 2nd time he's done that, it bothers me a lot. I just can't pay attention very well. He turns off the lights so it's all dark and turns on a movie that was made about 50 years ago, so what does he expect? That my eyes and ears are going to perk up like a fresh boner? I think not. I wore my new favorite shirt yesterday, of this scary looking hockey guy. He's holding a puck between his teeth and I think it looks really cool. But my teacher saw it and sarcastically said "that's a nice holiday shirt". Hehe. It was cool though because someone else told me it was a good shirt. I'm glad I wore it though, next time we have out of uniform day I'm gonna wear it again. Tomorrow is a big day...... It is. Tomorrow Cassidy will be getting the candy message I sent on Friday. They're distributed at the end of the day, in homeroom. The bad part is I won't get to see her until January 3rd when we return from Christmas break, because it's not likely I'll see her after homeroom. Before this made me kind of upset, but I decided it might be best to just be patient. If she is special, then she's probably worth the wait. You know, I hope she likes the drawing and message I made for her. She probably will though, even if it turns out that she doesn't like me. Even the bitchiest most biggest bitch in the world wouldn't get the message and be like: Ooo, fiddle dee dee. Someone has sent me a drawing that probably took about four hours to do, but I don't care. I shall simply toss it into the heap of other messages other people have sent me because I get a hundred of them every day. Poppysocks! That doesn't sound like a very realistic situation, and she'll probably appreciate it. I don't know what tomorrow has in store for me. I guess just about anything could happen, or possibly nothing at all. Oh well, I'll let everyone know how it goes! Love,
DorkAlert Here's what happened - 12/21/2001 Today was kind of eventful, good and bad stuff happened, but I'll get straight to the point. Last week I sent Cassidy a candy message and today they were distributed in homeroom, at the end of the day. Unfortunately I didn't get any =(, Mark did though and I was kind jealous. He got one from a girl in fact. I didn't read the whole thing, but it said something about him being a sweet guy or some shit like that. Not to put him down or anything, he's a nice person who's fun to talk to. If I was female or gay I'd probably be attracted to him too. But he got a candy message and I didn't! That's not fair. I'm a sweet guy too, right? RIGHT??
(the room becomes silent except for the sound of crickets chirping)
Anyway, the messages were distributed in homeroom at the end of the day so Cassidy probably got mine. Afterwards I spent over 20 minutes just wandering around the school, partially looking for her and partially because I needed a place to wait after school. I don't know what woulda happened if I found her. The outcome of the day was predictable, pretty much nothing happened. I'm sad and disappointed but I guess all's I can do is wait until we return to school on January 3rd. Unless she or one of her friends calls me, and that is a possibility because our school gives out a rolodex book at the beginning of the year. Anyone could find anyone else's phone number if they wanted to. However, that's not likely to happen and I'll probably have to wait until school starts again to tell her. Bye bye. ©
How do you make friends? - 12/22/2001 It was simple in Kindergarten, and throughout most of elementary school. If you wanted to be friends with someone, all you had to do was ask. The worst that could happen is they'd say no, and then you'd shrug and walk away. It didn't matter, because there was a good chance other kids would want to be your friend instead. Times change. I had several friends throughout my years in public school, and all the friendships were based on one thing: video games. That sounds kind of pathetic, but it didn't bother me. The way I became friends with each of them started with a conversation about video games, and one of us would eventually say "Want to come over and play Super Mario Brothers 2?" And thus a friendship started. Unfortunately, I started going to private school after 7th grade. I don't regret making that choice but once I stopped seeing my friends at school, I stopped seeing them entirely. However, I did have one friend who was loyal but somewhat annoying. He would come over my house throughout the 8th grade year even though I didn't go to his school anymore. We hung out to play video games a lot in the summer of 1998 (the summer after 8th grade), but eventually he switched from being annoying to just mean. He starting hanging out with kids who got into trouble and took drugs a lot and became a different person because of that. I didn't like the fact that I had to end the friendship, but it had to be done. I think when you get to a certain age you're just too old to make friends. I had known that kid since kindergarten so it was okay, but there's no one who goes to my school now I haven't known for more than 3 years. It's not elementary school anymore, and friendship boundaries have been formed. I'm not saying that people at my school aren't nice or worth being friends with, but by now it's probably too late. I saw Cassidy as a potential friend and possibly someone to lead me to new friends, but that's not working out. I think all I can do is this point is have conversations with people at school and count them as friends I never see outside of school. Love,
Me Other stuff - 12/23/2001 Gee willikers, my last entries weren't very happy so this one's gonna be a little more lighthearted. This particular holiday season doesn't seem quite the same. Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I still don't feel Christmassy. I think maybe because there's no snow. That's probably it. This is the first year I've been alive where there hasn't been any snow at all before Christmas, which really blows balls! Usually snow starts around December 7th or so, and if we're lucky sons of bitches, we even get a snow day. Whoop de doo!! Shuh-shah!! Hopefully we'll get some snow soon. Another thing is gift-giving. When I was a little boy I used to get all orgasmic just thinking about Christmas, because it meant lots and lots of presents. When I was 5 it meant Ninja Turtles, when I was 10 it was Power Rangers, and from then on it was all about Nintendo and Nintendo accessories. I don't know what it's about now. I don't play video games very often anymore, I seem to have lost my passion for most material things. Maybe that's a good thing, because I don't care about Christmas entirely because of getting presents anymore. That's kind of a selfish way to look at it. In fact, this year is the first time I've actually bought presents for other people. A month ago I bought scented candles for my mommy and a snow globe for my sister. Daddy is a prick so he gets nothing. Hoo-hah! Maybe this colored green and red font will do the trick. Do I feel Christmassy now? Eh, not really. To be honest I kind of wanted to hear something from Cassidy by now. Something along the lines of maybe that she does or doesn't like me. Because I've had that chick stuck in my head way too often. Whoops, I didn't mean that head....you perv! But anyway, yesterday I was thinking of calling her or something, and being like "You know that message you got at school....it was from me". That probably sounds like I'm desparate, but I don't really care because I'm not. It would be nice to have a girlfriend or whatever, but it's not like I'm gonna go and cry about it and whine about being lonely. People base too much of their happiness on 1.) whether or not they have a significant other and 2.) if so, how much their significant other likes them. I don't want to be one of those people. But after thinking about it I decided it would be best to just be patient and NOT call her. I'm gonna wait until school starts again and then tell her. Yeppers, that sounds like a much better idea. I kind of got blue-balled on Friday because of what happened in my 12/21 entry, but some good stuff happened too. In my science class, I was talking with Mark, Joey, and this other kid the whole time. At first I tried to start a serious discussion about Schindler's List, but that didn't work so we just made jokes instead. I had gum with me, and I was nice again and offered gum to everyone =). We spent a lot of time making fart noises and making comments like "that was a wet one!" and "better wipe that one!". Hehe. I got kind of mad because Mark was telling me about a test he got back, where he got 20% better than me. The reason I was mad was because he used my answer sheet but got more questions right than I did. How does that happen?? The teacher is gay, that's what probably happened! I said "That bitch gave you a 90%....did you sleep with him or something?" and Mark was like "ohhh, that was uncalled for!". We have to do 4 hours of Christian service for school by the end of Christmas break and up until yesterday I hadn't done any. I went to this place that is working on scenery for a Peter Pan play, because my mother wanted me to. Damn, I didn't know how much effort it is to design scenery. There were all these boards and crap we had to measure and use saws to cut them up with. I kind of like cutting stuff for some reason, it's weird. It sucked going there but it took....bum bum da bummmm FOUR HOURS!! That means I don't have to do any more Christian service. Yay! The other cool part was that I had to operate a remote control that opened the gate for cars trying to get into the parking lot. I sat atop this big wall that was like 8 or 9 feet tall, and I didn't know what a good climber I was. I climbed the wall by jumping, and then grabbing the top of it, and then pulling myself up over it. I didn't know I could do that! It was so cool. I have other stuff I haven't accomplished yet, but I have the whole Christmas break to do it. For school we're supposed to read this holocaust book and answer 53 questions about it. Another thing is driving. To get my drivers' license, all's I have to do is one thing: pass the freaking road test. I guess I should schedule an appointment, but I don't know if I'm ready. Today I went to a parking lot with my mommy to practice driving, here's the cool part.....before I couldn't park in reverse, but now I can! I found out that all you have to do is make sure you have enough space between the back of the car and the spot where you want to park, and the rest is simple as pudding pie. Eh, maybe not that simple, but you'll get the hang of it. I'm glad I practiced. I think that's about it. I might update tomorrow, or might not. The world may never know.....dun dun dunnnnn. Love,
me Dreaming of a white Christmas - 12/24/2001 Today I knew my family would be having company over. My parents have this friend who lives in New York and we haven't seen her in 2 years. I was kind of nervous, since whenever company comes over that means I have to leave my room. =o/. I hate having to leave my room, I need to spend lots of quality time with myself every day! Actually though it turned out okay. It started out that we had to go to a restaurant, even though I didn't want to go. But once we got there I had fish and chips, it was yummy. I remember the first time I had fish and chips, I was about 5 or so. I went to this restaurant with my grandparents, and I looked at the menu and I was like "cool they have chips here!" Unfortunately, I learned that day that chips meant fries. What the fuck?!?!? Had I known that, I woulda got a hamburger instead. I used to really like potato chips, but now I like fries much better. I don't know why I prefer fries over chips, I just fucking do! Eh, I got a little bit sidetracked there. But back to my parents' friend. Afterwards, they told her I play guitar so they wanted me to play for them. I didn't want to feel singled out, so I said my sister should play violin too. Now this is something that kind of makes me mad. Last month when we went on vacation, my grandma told me to bring along my guitar but didn't tell my sister to bring her violin. Isn't that kind of rude? That's like saying "we love our grandson more than our granddaughter". I thought it was rude anyway. I know an electric guitar has more flair than a violin, and I practice a lot more than my sister does, but still. Anyway, my sister and I both played our instruments. My parents' friend said I was really good and was surprised I've only been playing since March. I even played some of my original songs. Everyone liked my songs, which was cool! There's this rockin' one I made up that I think is an awesome melody. They asked who the band was, I didn't tell them it was my song though, I lied and said it was a Red Hot Chili Peppers one. Hehe. I'm gonna keep working on my original songs, maybe I'll come up with some'm good. My first CD! Guess what? I got to open a Christmas present early today, and it was a CD player! I knew I was getting one, but still it was exciting because I've never had one before. After that, we went to Desirable Discs and my sister and I got CD's. I wanted to get the Californication album, but they didn't have it. My 2nd choice was Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, but that looked yucky so I decided not to buy it. I didn't know what to get after that, but I looked at this Beatles CD called The Beatles 1 so I got that. It's awesome, because when you're wearing the headphones, some of the sound only comes from a certain one. Like for example, John's voice will be on the left speaker and Paul will be on the right, or maybe reversed. Isn't that super cool? I sure think it is! It's my first CD and maybe I'll get another one eventually. Who knows. Another good part about today was this.....THE FIRST FRICKING SNOWFALL OF THE YEAR!!!! YAY!!!! I couldn't believe it. There's actually snow now! That made me happy. I don't know why snow makes me happy, it just fucking does! So there. Hoo-hah, la-de-da. Eek, this diary really blows balls doesn't it? Don't worry, I'm gonna stop it now. Thanks for staying awake =). Love,
Me
Ladies and gentlemen...The Beatles!! - 12/24/2001 If there's anything that you want, if there's anything I can do, just call on me and I'll send it along, with love from me to you, I got everything that you want, like a heart that's oh so true, so call on me and I'll send it along, with love from me to you Guess what? I have a new favorite band! It used to be the RHCP but now it's the Beatles. Yay!! I got a CD today, I know it's my only CD but it's my favorite CD in the world. The title is The Beatles 1. It's awesome, because the songs are peaceful and exciting all at the same time. It puts me into a very peace-loving hippie mood. Listen to it and you'll think you're losing your virginity all over again....or if you're like me, for the first time. It's just that damn good! Seriously it is, you should buy it. I'm so glad I didn't get Californication or the Stink-182 album, because this one is probably a lot better. (hehe I'm just kidding, they don't stink). I don't discuss music very often here, I guess it's because I'm not into it as much as most people my age are. But I just really felt like talking about this CD, apparently I'm weird. Okay now on to another subject. Does anyone watch Family Guy? If not, you should. It's on every Thursday at 8:00pm Eastern on Fox. It's like the funniest show ever!! And then right after Family Guy is The Tick. It's not a cartoon, it's real life actors in superhero suits. It's a goofy show but is kind of funny. I watched it two weeks in a row. On Thursday's episode, it was where The Tick and his buddy Arthur met up with another superhero and his sidekick. At one point, Arthur felt that he and the Tick weren't equal and he was only a sidekick. They got into a fight because the Tick forgets to put the cap back on the toothpaste and Arthur ending up leaving him. But in the end they reunited and became friends again. They decided they were a dynamic duo and were equals. Normally I'm not a sentimental person but I thought that was really cute. It's like the Tick says "Tell me you don't envy our comradeship". Tomorrow is Christmas and I still don't feel the season. Oh well. We're going to church at 8:30, so that means I should be going to sleep soon. And then we'll unwrap presents, even though I probably won't get many. In a way I feel kind of nostalgic about the old days when Santa was real. I'd get so excited that I couldn't sleep on Christmas Eve, and then in the morning there would be a heapin' shitload of presents right there by the tree. Ahh, that was such a beautiful sight. But maybe it's best to care about Christmas for reasons other than material things. Yes, it probably is. After that we'll go to my grandparents' house like we always do. The funny part is that now my grandma takes medication that affects her stomach and makes her fart. She'll just be standing there and all of a sudden there'll be a ptwpthphhtpwth sound. I don't know if she farts a lot anymore but she eats cabbage too which also makes people flatulate. If she happens to let one rip at Christmas tomorrow I'll just say something like "bless you" or "gesuntight". Fart! Yeah, I'm in a silly mood right now, aren't I? I don't know why, I guess I'm just hyper. Hehe. Hrmph, I don't have anything left to say other than I'm really enjoying this CD. Buh bye everyone! I hope you all have a good Christmas. Love,
DorkAlert Christmas with the fam - 12/25/2001 Note: This is probably the last time I'll be using these Christmas colors. Enjoy! Ahh, Christmas morning. I woke up at like 5:00am today and felt like listening to my new CD, so I did that and played Mario Kart on Game Boy Advance for the entire early morning. Then it dawned on me that I had forgotten to wrap my Christmas presents. Oh shit! It was okay though, I just put the presents in paper bags instead. My family liked them =). We're probably out of wrapping paper anyway, because yesterday my sister and I were using the used-up wrapping paper cardboard rolls to fight. She's 10. We were pretending be Luke and Darth Vader, and the cardboard rolls were light sabers. It didn't go so well, because my cardboard roll broke in half while I was hitting her with it and then I said in a Darth Vader voice "my light saber is a piece of shit!" I got some dope loot for Christmas. I finally got a coat, which was exciting because I haven't gotten a new one in a few years. My old one is all small and crappy and I don't want to think about how long it's been since it last got washed. The new one is awesome! I've always wanted a trenchcoat, it's not one but it's big and black so I guess it comes close. I also got a keychain from my sister. You know those keychain animals that when you squeeze them, poop comes out? It's sorta like that, except it's a hippo that when you squeeze him, his eyes bulge out. Then we went to my grandparents' house. First I'll talk about my grandpa. He used to be cruel to his children, but he's nice now and is a pretty good guy. However, he always tells the same boyhood stories over and over, time and time again. There's this one that goes:
"Honest to God, I never owned a toy when I was growing up. Not a little car, not a football, not a kite.....I had to make my football out of a milk can, and I made kites out of broken kite sticks."
I think I hear that story almost every time I visit. When I was young I used to memorize his stories so well that I could finish them for him. It would go like this:
GRANDPA: I'll be honest, Darren, when I was growing up we only had enough water to fill up the bathtub once. Every week, my father would take a bath, then my mother would take a bath, then my oldest brother, then my 2nd oldest brother, then me, and the next person to take a bath would be....
ME: Then the kid next door?
GRANDPA: Yeah....how'd you know?
ME: (under breath) I don't know, maybe cuz I've heard this freaking story more times than I've heard the opening theme song on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
But I don't do that anymore cuz when I got to be about 10 or so, I realized that was rude. Old people are forgetful and it hurts their feelings when you remind them about stuff. Anyhoo, my moron uncle let my sister borrow his video camera, so she was taping everyone while we were unwrapping gifts. She put the camera on me and I didn't like it so I said stop that. Then she put the camera on me again, even though I told her not to, so this time I gave her the finger. My parents didn't see (phew) but my aunt was like "hey, I caught that!" and told my sister I don't like it when the camera is on me. My mother can be a really big bitch sometimes. Within the same 24 hour period, she made fun of my hair, my weight, and my eyes. Isn't that mean? She has to make a comment on things that aren't important and it bothers me because it's really mean. It's official, my family sucks......we're so dysfunctional. That's why my sister is like a clown at a funeral. But the good part about going to my grandparents' house is that we always play computer games. Unfortunately, my sister was using the computer and I really wanted to play Jezzball. So I got my coat as though I was about to get ready to leave and I told her we were leaving. She was so obsessed with the computer game that she didn't even notice. So about 20 minutes later I said that I got hot from waiting for her with my coat on for so long and then she realized it was time to go! So she quickly went to the bedroom to get her coat, and while she was there I snatched the computer chair. Hoo-hah, it wasn't time to go at all! I played games for a while. She was mad that I tricked her, but oh well. Here's what made me really happy: I was playing Jezzball, and I got a high score! I couldn't fucking believe it!!!!! I've never done that before, cuz you see my cousin set a record of like 48,000 points and I didn't think I'd ever be able to beat that score. But I did, I really really did!!! That's about all's that happened at my grandparents. Here are some random things:
  • The other day I went to Subway and I was 18 cents short. I decided to put back the Sun Chips I had planned to purchase, but the lady working there said it was okay and let me keep them anyway, even though I didn't have enough money. Wasn't that nice? =)
  • Oh man, they make these little round sandwich things that aren't really sandwiches at all, but they sure are yummy! Uncrustables is what they are called. They're usually peanut butter and jam, and you put them in the freezer and eat them after they thaw. You should buy them!
  • Note to self: buy more sun chips. My Christmas was pretty decent, despite the fact that I didn't feel Christmassy at all this year. I got some awesome gifts though. That's all I have to say. Buh bye everyone, remember that Jesus loves you and so do I!!! Pax LOL - 12/26/2001 This crazy entry is a result of my CHRISTMAAS HANGOVER
    LOL 'laul' -- (derived from the Greek word "loliphus")
    1.) an exclamatory statement 2.) an attempt to acknowledge one's own joke when surrounding parties fail to observe its humor 3.) the gayest, most irritating, detestable, and overused phrase throughout the history of the Internet My obsession with the Internet began in the middle of 1998, when I realized the amusement value of AOL chat rooms. In real life, walking into a room and shouting "I love potatoes! I love 'em fried, I love 'em mashed, I love potatoes!" will often result in people looking at you as though there is a severed penis crammed up your nose. This will not happen in online conversations. Those who use the Internet are be able to freely spout out ridiculous phrases and at the same time keep their anonymity. This is a wonderful thing, and proves that civilization as a whole improves with increased technology. However, all is not well in the land of monitors and keyboards. Disturbed, sadistic, and silly people have come up with phrases so annoying, so exacerbating, that they bother ME -- someone who enjoys the sound of Velcro being torn off and reattached. Annoying Internet phrases include LMAO, ROTFL, and some instant messagists will combine these two snacktaculous phrases to form ROTFLMAO. How disgusting. But no word spoken throughout GayOL compares to the overusedness of.....
    LOL
    Ugh. What is there to say? I hate lol! Or LoL, or LOL, or however the fuck you want to spell it. It's said far too often, and one thing's for sure: I'll assume all of you type properly with your fingers on the home row, so people who say lol a lot must have the strongest, quickest right ring finger in the world. Since that's the finger you use to type L and O. Dontcha think? I say LOL sometimes, but only in an entirely mocking sense. If someone says something that's funny, but in a corny sort of way, there's a chance I'll say LOL. ME: Not only did I spill the jar of cum all over myself, but there was still peanut butter on my pants from the day before!
    RANDOM AOL USER: Well Darren, that certainly is a sticky situation.
    ME: LOL!!!! See...don't you just love my little examples? Of course you do. If not, you can't bitch about it because you can't even see me, let alone voice your opinion against me. I say what I want and you can't complain. Hoo-hah! I am triumphant! Eh, I guess you could leave an unfriendly note at the bottom of this diary, that would be quite effective. Hmm....maybe I need to think these things out better. (shut your mouth LG, I know that was a joke from my old web page) I think I'll end this entry about now. Hmm...I just can't think of anything interesting to say.....I know that never stopped me from writing before, but I'm sick of my diary today and I'm sick of you. That's all for now, just a little something for you to choke on for a while. So kids, what did we learn today? LOL sucks, that's what! Bye! p.s. - Please bring back the cheese club, aka We*Love*Cheese. Damn how I miss that club. The DorkAlert Awards - 12/27/2001 Let's face it, there are some great diaries out there who deserve some recognition. At the end of the year, I've decided to hand out the... bum bum ba da bummm.......
    DORKALERT AWARDS
    These awards are nothing special, but I'm going to give peoples' diaries awards for different categories. If anyone can think of new categories, or if anyone would like to win an award, leave me a note and I'll put you on the ballet. Who knows, maybe you, yes you, could be a lucky winner. Yay!! Here are some categories I thought of: CHEERFULLEST: Open Diary is a good place to express bad emotions like anger, sorrow, and frustration. But let's face it, it's fun to read happy diary entries too. There's nothing like a cheerful diary entry to warm your heart and brighten your day. The person (among the diaries I read) who I believe writes the happiest, most cheerful entries will receive an award. GRIPPINGEST: A lot of people are good with poetic description when they're talking about events, people, or just moods. It is more interesting to read diaries that have powerful description that sometimes affect the readers' emotions. This award will go to the diary that is most gripping. FUNNIEST: Whether it's the story of an amusing situation, a humorous outlook on life, or just random silly jokes, it's always enjoyable to read funny entries. Humor at Open Diary comes on different levels, but those who are able to be funny give their diary something extra, just a little bonus ya know? Like a raisin covered in chocolate, or a monkey in a cowboy suit. So the person who I think makes the funniest diaries will receive this award. ESSAYEST: There's nothing wrong with making diary entries about the things that go on in your life. In fact, that's the whole point of a diary. However, some diarists do more than just that. Several people occasionally write about a number of different topics, such as life, friends, philosophy, religion, and people in general. The diarist who I think writes the best essays will win this award. NOTIEST: Ahh...I just love getting notes from people. It's what makes the whole OpenDiary experience worthwhile. When I get lots of notes that acknowledge the fact that I take lots of time to write these diaries it makes me happy and gives me an almost sexual satisfaction. The person who leaves the bestest, oftenests notes shall receive this prestigious award. PERSONALITYEST: There are some people who have colorful, exciting, or weird personalities at OD, and let it show on their diaries. Entries are all the more fun to read when the writer unleashes his or her personality through written text, and does more than just give a description of what goes on in their life. This award is gonna go to the diarist who I think has the best personality. Remember that if you leave notes asking to be on the ballet, you're more likely to win an award. Awards will be distributed at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Day. Yay, what a monster social life I have. Who cares though, cuz Open Diary is the only party I need. Yay again!! Check back on the 1st to see if you've won. DorkAlert What to say, what to do - 12/30/2001 This is sad. I've been to Subway so many times this month that the people there recognize me. Yesterday I went and the lady there predicted my order, since I buy the same thing every time. She said "do you want to get anything different this time" and I said no I like what I always get. She kept asking questions, like if I wanted anything different or anything else. I swear like 5 times she must have said "Are you sure? Are you positive?" Arg! I was gonna be rude and say "if I wanted anything else I would have asked for it" but I think that's the same worker who let it slide when I was 18 cents short that one day. So I decided not to be rude but I'm not sure if I wanna go back there, I mean they friggin recognize me and predict what I'm gonna buy. That's how many times I've been there. I actually started doing stuff yesterday, besides going online, watching tv or sleeping. I'm the webmaster of the website for the karate club I used to go to, and yesterday I spent some time making a bunch of changes to the site. Hard work! I also read 15 pages of my book, and today I read 20. I sure am getting things done, yay! But today I'm planning to read 40 more pages of the book before the day is done, and maybe even answer some of the questions. Yup, that sounds like a good idea.
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
    Hey, I haven't talked about Cassidy in a while so I'm going to now. When we last left our hero, Me, I was at school on December 21st and didn't get the opportunity to talk to her. To be honest, I haven't been thinking about her a whole lot during Christmas vacation. I've been busy with a bunch of other crap, like....um....different stuff. Okay so I haven't been that busy....sue me. But today I started thinking about her and what I'm gonna say when I go to school again. I might not need to say anything. She got the freakin message and drawing I sent her, I didn't put my name on it but she might know it was from me. I wrote a reference to something that happened almost 2 years ago, isn't that enough? Eh....maybe I do need to tell her who sent it. But I'm not gonna make a big deal of it. I could just be like "Hey...that was from me" and then walk off into the sunset. Yes, that sounds like a good plan. That's exactly what I'm gonna do, unless I think of anything better. This whole situation is setting myself up for either a rejection or an acceptance. I have no idea what the future holds in store for me. It's kind of a scary thought, that on January 3rd I'm gonna have to face the music either way. I don't know what she's gonna think. =( It makes me wonder about myself too, like if I'm acceptable or not. I'm not exactly boyfriend material, in fact I'm kind of a freak. I'm kind of glad I sent Cassidy the message, I think it was a good thing because that's the first time I've reached out to someone. It's also the first time I've done anything that was, as the chickies say, 'sweet'. Actually up until November 14th of this year I never really made an effort to talk to her, or any other girls for that matter. So I did my part, which is the best I can do. Now all's I can do is wait. And I think it's safe to say that.... Thursday's Forecast = partly cloudy with a chance of beautiful =) Love,
    Me colors - 12/30/2001 I'm not gonna say anything in this entry, I was just wondering if anybody thinks I should change these colors. I think white text against black background could be difficult on the eyes. Sometimes I make the text orange....would that be better? I tried making it grey but that didn't look very good. surgay - 12/31/2001 I'm feeling extremely uncreative right now so I decided to do this survey.
    SURVEY
    FULL NAME: I don't have a name, dammit I knew my parents forgot something NICKNAME(s): I always call myself Darren on my diary even though that's not my real name BIRTH DATE: 1984, I'm old JOB (IF ANY): I used to work at the book store but they fired me FAVORITE SPORT(s): I don't like sports anymore, I used to really like hockey and baseball and stuff when I was 11 and 12, but that was just a weird pre-pubescent phase I was going through FAVORITE TV SHOW(s): The Simpsons, Family Guy, and 7th Heaven, and a bunch of Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network ones FAVORITE MOVIE: Ready To Rumble! FAVORITE MOVIE STAR: I don't know, who cares IF YOU COULD MARRY A SUPERSTAR WHO WOULD IT BE: your mom FAVORITE COLOR: turquoise FAVORITE FOOD: honey battered chicken tenders....I make them in the microwave and they're pretty fucking yummy IF YOU WERE A FLOWER WHICH ONE WOULD YOU BE?: merigold, they're so bright and pretty DO YOU SPEAK SPANISH: I only speak one language and even that I don't speak very well DO YOU SPEAK FRENCH: sac le bleu! (I can say that) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CARTOON: All of them! The ones I talked about in the My favorite tv shows IF YOU HAD YOUR ARM CUT OFF HOW WOULD YOU FEEL: I'd feel like ouch SHAVE YOUR HEAD FOR $1,000 DOLLARS: Yes! It would be worth it and it would grow back anyways WOULD YOU GO UP AND RANDOMLY KISS SOME ONE FOR 50 BUCKS: I probably would WOULD YOU EVER KILL SOMEONE: if there were no other options WHAT IS THE WORST MOVIE YOU HAVE EVER SEEN: The Lion King WHAT IS THE WORST TV SHOW YOU'VE EVER SEEN: One of those boring ones HOW MANY FINGERS DO YOU HAVE: a lot DO YOU SHAVE: sometimes DO U WEAR UNDERWEAR: usually, unless I'm going commando DO YOU WEAR SOCKS TO YOUR KNEES: No way! That sounds super gay DO YOU PREFER CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA CAKE: cake makes me nautious DO YOU LIKE SCHOOL: sometimes, I like talking to Mark and Cassidy IF YOU GOT A FREE VACATION WHERE WOULD YOU GO: up north where my grandparents live DO YOU LIKE ROLLARCOASTERS: Nooo!!! I hate them. The only one I've ever been on was when I was like 12, you weren't supposed to go on if you were taller than 48 inches but I went anyway. If I went on a big one I'd probably pass out, crap myself, and vomit simultaneously HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT: two, because just one would be lonely, and more than that is too many because it contributes to overpopulation HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL: never, but I coulda got expelled in 9th grade because I plagarized a whole report by copying and pasting something from Encarta (I didn't get caught) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN WATER-SKIING?: no WOULD YOU GET IN A SHARK TANK?: *~*~LoL~*~* is that supposed to be funny? DO YOU WEAR A WATCH?: Yes, all the time. When I'm not wearing it I get all nervous and crap because I never know what time it is WHICH HAND DO WOULD YOU WEAR IT ON?: left DO YOU HAVE A CAR: No, I don't even have a freaking level 2 driver's license, but all's I have to do is pass the road test DO YOU LIKE CATS: Sometimes, they're cute when they're little, you can hold them in just one hand and they make that little meww noise......awwww HAVE YOU EVER CAUGHT A FISH: Yes! It was one of those sun fish thingamaboobers or whatever you call them DO YOU LIKE PIZZA: yes, especially the ones I make in the microwave. Most of my food comes from there HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: only with you DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: I love everyone, but some people especially =) DO YOU SHOWER OR TAKE BATHS: neither HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU WASH YOUR HAIR A DAY: fart DO YOU PREFER PEPSI OR COKE: I like both, just as long as it's not DIET....oh, the horror! The horror of it all!! DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Not halloween type ghosts but maybe spirits and stuff like that RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right....I'm not special DO YOU LIKE KNOWING MORE ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS: Yes because it helps me know people better DO YOU HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR?: I think so, but my humor is extremely juvenille WHAT IS ONE THING YOU CAN'T DO: blow bubbles with gum, burp on command, focus on a single activity for more than 15 seconds ARE YOU AFRAID OF DYING: yes WHAT IS ONE WORD THAT YOU THINK IS OVER-USED?: Ghetto is overused. So is....THE DREADED LOL!!!! ah! DO YOU LIKE WHERE YOU LIVE: I think it's a nice little city WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?: the AOL emoticon with big teeth, people who look at me for no reason, people who yell or talk too much, people who say lol a lot, people who make unfair sterotypes WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS?: Hey...you spelled it like "favourite", you must be British! But anyway it's I Want To Hold Your Hand by the Beatles (I'm not joking) the whole CD is really good pointless questions (survey) - 12/31/2001 1. One Kleenex or two when you blow your nose? one, unless I got like a truckload of snot comin' out 2. Have you ever drank Slimfast? no it's probably gross and tastes worse than that weird grain bread 3. If so, what’s your favorite kind? pina colada n/a4. Did you really need to drink it? yes, I had gained 500 pounds in just one hour, I was becoming obese and that great stuff Slimfast was my last hope! It worked 5. Do you listen to music off your computer? No, the speakers have been broken since October 6. Do you where headphones so you don’t distract other people? I have to, the CD player doesn't work otherwise 7. Have you ever blown a speaker out in a car from having too much base? how the hell am I supposed to know, I don't own a car and if I did how am I supposed to know what a base is? 8. Do you use highlighters frequently? oh yeah all the time! The kids at school call me Darren the highlightin' fool, cuz all I ever do is highlight stuff. I see a word and I'm like "damn, I gotta highlight that!" 9. Do you carry scissors? Of course! I need an emergency pair in case I need to circumsize someone...it could always happen ya know! 10. Do you wish you did? wishing is for vegetarian astrology psychic friend queers 11. How about fingernail clippers? yeah, I gotta keep my nails pretty! 12. Blue or black ink? they both suck, pencil is better cuz if you're a F-up like me you make mistakes a lot and as a result need to erase a lot 13. Do you own a pair of flannel pants? I didn't know they even made flannel pants...I must live under a rock 14. Do you wear slippers around the house? I wear shoes 15. Do you untie your shoes before you take them off? Oh jeez that would waste so much time, what's the point if you're just gonna tie them again 16. Can you keep a pair of white shoes clean for very long? I don't play sports or do anything that would get shoes dirty so why not 17. Do you wash your car a lot? damn you, I don't even have a drivers' license 18. How much does it cost to fill your vehicle up? when I bang the big sweaty guy at the gas station he does it for free 19. Is your buddy list mainly people you don’t talk to? Yeah I do that. It's all people I don't talk to, I just like looking at the screen names cuz they look super cool! People come up with the wittiest names, I mean...."whozdapimp"....I never woulda thought of that! 20. Do you put your dirty clothes in a basket or just let they lay on your floor? Eh, I keep them on the floor and put them in the basket about once a week or so, we call the basket a hamper 21. Are your dresser drawers organized? yeah!! All my socks and panties are arranged by alphabetical order, and if they start with the same letter I organize them by color 22. Will your parents kill you if you bring home a D? D as in dick? They'd sure be pissed, after the cost of the sex change operation 23. Do you belong to Sam’s club? oh yeah I need to get membership just so I can go to the store to buy a bag of nutter butters...yay! 24. Do you like Super Target? Holy crap, they have Super Target? What was wrong with the regular one? 25. What’s your view on the Baker’s Value Card? I have quite a few contrasting views on such a particular subject matter....BITCH NO I don't know what that even means 26. Has someone accidentally given you back the wrong change and you just kept it? No I don't bother to check. But even if that happened, they'd probably tell me to keep it anyway for being so honest. 27. Ever been to a hockey game? Yes! When I was in my confusing pre-pubescent years (around 11 or so) my family had season tickets and I went to almost every game 28. Ever laughed at a retard? Only if they're a regular person and I call them retard, but if they really are I wouldn't make fun of them because that's kind of mean. 29. Ever faked a call on your cell phone? Okay first there's that dickhead question about cars and now phones....I'M POOR, I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO GO TO SUBWAY AND GET A FREAKING BAG OF SUN CHIPS. How am I supposed to buy a phone? 30. Ever swung your left arm back and forth so much when you walked that anyone within 20 feet would get hit? holy crap, my arm is 20 feet!!! That's almost as long as my dick! 31. Ever spit on anyone? Actually if someone's really annoying, I'll gather a bunch of spit in my mouth and pretend I'm sneezing, but it's a fake sneeze only spit comes out, not snottle 32. Ever been spit on? yes and I got mad 33. Ever watched someone be spit on? yes 34. Ever growled at someone? when I'm mad online I go like grrr.... 35. Ever been meowed at? yes, I don't think cats like me 36. Do you grab for your cell phone whenever you hear a ring? you bitch I said I didn't have one of those 37. Does your mom still do your laundry? Yes but I learned how to do it this year, in case she dies or something. YAY! Not yay about her dying, yay I can do my own laundry (if I wanted to) 38. Do you have a camera of your own? Yes! I never use it though but I got one for my burfday when I turned 15 39. Do you spend extremely too much time on your computer? extremely is too small of a word.....I spend so much time online you'd vomit if I told you how many hours....I spent almost all day online today 40. Do you pick your nose when you drive because you think just because you have tinted windows they can’t see you? I do enjoy picking my nose rather frequently, although I DON'T DRIVE YET YOU FREAKING MOLDY BITCH 42. Do you honestly sing in the shower? no it makes me think someone's a really big pervert when they do that, it sounds like they're masturbating or something 43. Do you ever wave at complete strangers? no 44. Have you ever farted in a room and walked out? That would be a great idea in an elevator 46. Have you ever found out that there was no toilet paper in the stall after you sat down? Yeah, and then I had to wipe with my Mastercard, wow the commercials are right, it really is "priceless" 47. Are you the moron that writes on the bathroom walls? no but sometimes they say funny stuff such as "Mrs. (insert the name of a mean teacher here) Blows" Here They Are! - 12/31/2001 Yepples! It's midnight, and this very moment we are now going from 2001 to 2002. I don't really care, since I think New Year's is a dumb holiday, but oh well. The important thing is, it's time to pass out the awards! If you haven't read my previous entry, The DorkAlert Awards, please do so now. Otherwise you won't understand. Without further adu, let's cut right to the cheese!
    and the winners are.....
    FUNNIEST
    Bravesrulein02 ~ In my opinion, OpenDiary writers are too serious and not many even attempt to be funny. However, Darrell has had some great entries, despite not being with the OD community for very long. I triple dog dare you to read "The Love Survey" or "The Adventures of Poo Boy" without laughing. Keep up the good work, buddy! Honorable mention: Loser Girl



    CHEERFULLEST
    Lil Licia ~ A lot of diaries, even mine, seem to be depressing most of the time or at least some of the time. But Alicia's is unique because it is happy and fun and we could all learn something from her optimism. You win the cheerfullest award because of your positive attitude and happy entries. Go you! Honorable mention: BabeAlert, Peachi*13



    GRIPPINGEST
    We*Love*Cheese ~ I have to admit I was pretty moved when the cheese club returned. I don't know, it was just exciting. For months, we cheese fans have been deprived of our precious club, but not anymore! We*Love*Cheese is back, and back with a bang. Cool beans! Honorable mention: As The Sparkles Die, SleepyAngel



    PERSONALITYEST
    blinkfreak02 ~ It's difficult to let your personality show through writings, but this one does. Blinkfreak uses interesting words and phrases that make her diary unique and does more than just talk about the day's events. Is there anything else to say? Nope, I don't think so. Honorable mention: Loser Girl, Petite Fille



    NOTIEST
    *DancingInTheRain* ~ In addition to having the very best title in the history of OpenDiary, Ashley also leaves the best notes and has a Cal Ripken-like streak of note leaving. The notes are usually weird but she has funny phrases like w00t w00t, oy, and fork. Honorable mention: blinkfreak02, Loser Girl



    ESSAYEST
    Loser Girl ~ This award was a shoe-in, because (of the diaries I read) Loser Girl and I are the only people who actually do write essays. Sometimes it's a nice change of pace to read diaries that give thoughts or ideas rather than just talk about the day's events. Good job on your essays! Honorable mention: DorkAlert




    Welp, there you have it. Those are the awards. If you won, congratulations, and if you didn't, don't worry. Every diary is special in its own way, so maybe all of us deserve awards. Yeppers, we all rule! I hope everyone has a good 2002. Love,
    DorkAlert