Zac stared at the computer screen. He wasn’t sure what he was going to write; all he knew was that he had to tell somebody. He ran through his address book and clicked on one. He let his fingers take over, his mind barely registering what he was typing.

Dear Jen-

My brother is sick. He passed out in our hotel room, and we had to take him to the hospital. You know what they said? They said that Jordan had problems with eating. What they meant was that he doesn’t. How could I not see that? It was right there…he lied to everyone. He lied to our father, lied to our mother…he even gave me his sandwich one time. I didn’t even think twice about why he wasn’t going to eat it. What kind of brother am I if I don’t even see when my brothers are in trouble? –Zach

Zac clicked on the ‘send’ button, logged out of his email, and shut down the computer. He was in the library right across from the hospital.

“Hey.”

Zac looked up at Isaac’s soft voice. “Hey.”

“How are you doing?”

“I don’t know.”

They sat there for a few minutes, not speaking.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Isaac said. He lightly grasped Zac’s arm.

Zac gasped in pain before he could stop himself, and pulled his arm away.

“Zac? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Come on, let’s go.” He walked past Isaac and out into the bright daylight. He stopped, knowing that Isaac was right behind him.

The two hurried across the street and to the hospital. They rode up to Taylor’s room. “Ike? Can I talk to him alone for a minute?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Zac walked into the empty room.

Taylor lay on the bed, his eyes closed. He looked terrible. There was a tray full of food in front of him.

“Tay, you know you have to eat that.”

Taylor opened his eyes. “I’m not hungry.”

“Why don’t you eat?” Zac took a seat beside his brother.

“Why do you cut yourself?”

“I don’t.”

“And I eat all the time.”

One week later

Zac picked up the ringing phone. “Hello?”

“Zac? We need to talk. I’ll be there in ten.” There was a click.

Zac’s heart sunk. He didn’t need the caller to identify herself; he knew it was Diane.

“Zac? Who was that?”

“Huh?” He turned to see Taylor standing in the doorway. “Oh. That was Diane.”

“What did she have to say?”

“We have to talk.”

“Damn it.” Taylor rubbed his eyes. “I wish I could stay and help, but I gotta get to therapy.” He rolled his eyes. “Oh, joy.”

Zac nodded and watched Taylor leave.

Taylor had been released from the hospital and allowed to come home shortly after he was put in the hospital. He wasn’t quite anorexic, but if he kept on the path he was going down, there’s what it would lead too. Taylor had to eat in front of his parent’s three times a day. It didn’t matter if he only ate a small amount; all he had to do was eat. He attended one-on-one therapy once a week, and was supposed to go to group therapy every two weeks.

Zac was startled when there was a knock on the door. “I got it,” he called. He knew it was Diane before he even opened the door. “Come on, let’s go to the park.”

He and Diana walked in silence to the park. They sat down on a park bench, not meeting eyes.

Zac was the first to speak. “So-?”

“I was.”

“You…were?”

Diana looked down. “I aborted it, Zac.”

“You killed it? You killed my baby?”

“I couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry.”

Zac hardly noticed when Diane left. No, he wasn’t ready to be a father. No, he didn’t want to be a father, but that was his baby. She had killed it without even asking him. It was a part of him.

Mechanically, Zac stood and walked back home. He went straight to the bathroom and shut the door firmly behind him.

Zac lay on his bed. He didn’t want to get up; all he wanted to do was lie there as the world passed him by.

“Tell us what she said, Zac.”

Isaac and Taylor sat at the foot of his bed. Zac wondered briefly when they had showed up, but didn’t wonder about it too long. “We went to the park.”

“Please, tell us. We can help you.”

“She killed it.”

“She…” The words died on Taylor’s lips.

The silence in the room was heavy. Isaac and Taylor were just as shocked as Zac was.

Zac knew they wanted to help him, but no one could help him. “…So we gave you a sleeping pill…” His mother’s words came drifting back to him. A sleeping pill; that would help him. “Could you guys leave please? I just wanna be alone right now.”

Reluctantly, Isaac and Taylor got off the bed and left the room. Zac listened until their footsteps could no longer be heard before getting up. He wandered into the bathroom, remembering what had taken place there earlier.

He opened up the medicine cabinet and immediately found what he was looking for. He grasped the bottle and popped the lid off. He dumped two of the white tablets into his hand and clicked the lid back into place. He put the bottle back and swallowed the pills without any water. He made his way back to his bedroom and lay down, waiting for sweet sleep to overtake him.