Ginger Fishbones
The UNTOLD STORY

Here's Where I Started . . .

Oh yes, Agents Mulder and Scully had it right! The "TRUTH" is most definitely out there! TwigMama discovered the "TRUTH" while digging through TwigDaddy's trashcans. (Now there's a story worth telling, but I'll save it for later.)

You want to know the "TRUTH" about that man of mystery Ginger Fishbones . . . well come back next week. It will ALL be here for you to read with your own eyes!!

Curious? Alright, here's a hint . . . think boyband. I can't say anything else just yet. Come back in a day or so after Christmas. You too will know the "TRUTH" as discovered by TwigMama herself!

OK, so here's the skinny, the deal, and yes, the everloving 411 on Ginger Fishbones!! I let a couple of mah girlz talk me into a trip out to California for my birthday last June. By the way, for future reference, "mah girlz" refers to Lara and Jennifer (to hell with Halle Berry, Jenn is the most beautiful black woman on the planet. Don't believe me? Ask Trent!!). Lara's from New Mexico, but spends way too much time in Los Angeles. While there, she makes it her business to find out any bit of embarassing news and/or dirt on any celebrity within a 20-mile radius of her standing position! So wouldn't you just know . . . this time it paid off!

After leaving me and baby Twiggums high and dry, TwigDaddy had sequestered himself in his new Cali digs. Mah girlz said I should go to TwigDaddy's house so I could confront him with pictures of the wee Twig (aka Baby Twiggums) and demand child support payments . . . hmmmmph! Mah girlz had to do some serious convincing because after all, TwigDaddy is MY BITCH and the passion might have overcome me. Once again I could have gotten the "twig" and no Benjamins! We arrived at this quaint little cottage-styled house. I was surprised at seeing how small it is. I had assumed that since he wasn't spending his money on the wee Twig, he was on the child support down low in some palatial estate . . . WRONG! We get out of our rental car, approach the front door. That's when we found out that TwigDaddy has a rather large guard dog on the premises. Having encountered a similar situation while stalking, ummm I mean, visiting Keanu, Lara was smart enough to bring a pound of freshly ground beef with her. She pulled it out of a plastic bag and hurled it over the fence. Unfortunately, neither Lara nor the TwigPooch took note of the oncoming traffic. Altogether now . . . SPLAT! OK, now free of the fear of becoming three life-sized cans of Alpo, we once again approach the door. I rang the bell. NO ANSWER! Damnit! I rang again and again . . . NO friggin ANSWER!!

So now I plunk myself down on the steps outside the door. I turn to Lara who's still a little shaky about having accidentally killed the TwigPooch. Then I notice Jenn is nowhere in sight. I call out to her and hear her respond in the distance. Lara and I get up and walk toward the sound of Jenn's voice. We were pretty anxious to get out of sight anyway since there was a crowd gathering around the scene of the TwigPooch's demise and one old bag got out of a Pontiac and pointed at us and started yelling "Pooch killers! Pooch killers!" Damnit!! OK, so we round the corner of the house to discover Jenn looking very NON-glam while rummaging thru TwigDaddy's trashcans. She looks up with this smile on her face that made me think of a kid who'd just made the world's greatest mud pie! "You may not need to get child support from TwigDaddy afterall." Jenn had found old coffee stained pages of TwigDaddy's journal. In that journal, the truth about Ginger Fishbones was discovered!

The picture on the left is Ginger Fishbones as he appeared on his graduation day from the military academy at West Point! It was there that he excelled at playing drums in the West Point marching band and perfected some extremely intricate dance moves. He was known as "the man who handled his snare with flare."

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