This page contains litterally not every morsel of information about my family and friends. After the line you will find incomplete bios on some very important and not so very important people of my life.
His role in the family is the fascist dictator - namely, the father. He enjoys making sarcastic jokes about everything and arguing with Liberals, for he is Conservative to the brim.
Mmmmm.... food... My mother should have a glowing halo around her head hanging a sign, "Uberchef." Other than that, she enjoys trying to make me work, a task, which is fortunately for me, virtually impossible.
The not so smart dog of the family. As a puppy, she had a tendency to run into walls. Even though she has been stung (or bit..) in the face twice, she still sticks her head where it doesn't belong. Regardless of her lack of processing power, she is still a beloved member of the family. Woof.
Shadow... He is swift, he is silent, he is dark, black as the night. He stalks the stupid dog, Shiela, his arch nemesis, creeping from shadow, to shadow, his namesake. Darting from behind the laz-e-boy to under the coffee table, his muscles tensed. He flexes his powerful haunches, lets out a low "meeooww," and launches. He catches the dog on her way to the adjacent bedroom, leaps, attacks, and breaks off, making a run for the bed. Oh, the glories of the hunt!
Who is this guy? He's not really part of the family, but, hey, he lives at the house, so, why not? Big, tall, blonde, blue eyes. Aryan in every way except he's not a white supremacist Neo-Nazi. On a second note, it is he who can be found speaking animatedly to himself. We call him "Jester." I wonder why... Maybe because if he lived in Medieval times he would be a Court Jester. Has the ability to subconsciously walk into walls even though he knows they're there.
Airsoft/paintball guy. Nutcase. This is the guy you would expect to crack and hold up a Mcdonald's with an AK-47 and some grenades he got from somewhere that he will not disclose.
Hmmmm.... he is best describes by his sayings...
"Have no words monkeys, your savior is here!"
"Future Frenchie Crap!!"
"My Girble named Jesus told me of the massive horde of squirrels which foretells the coming of the Appocalypse."
If he could be anything else, it would be a Klingon. Qa'pla!
His cat is named Speak Monkey Speak Hefley. Creepy huh?
He once made a website based entirely on Pizza toppings and the "doom" song. Which is kinda like the Mario song. Which in turn is like the doom song. Its a vicious cycle...
Hmmm... What can I say without getting my head handed to me on a silver platter? Well, she's my lovely girlfriend, who enjoys tickling me just because she thinks I look cute when I squirm... I think she likes me ;-) ...Well duh. Best friend of person mentioned below, these two are the most prominent women in my life. Once you get to know them, thats a scary thought.
Well, my predicament here is the same as above... If I say the wrong thing, I will suffer the consequences of death... She is dating Mike. And she is five feet tall. Mike is six foot three. Tis quite amusing, if you ever happen to see them. But I haved stepped over my line, and my life is forfeit as soon as she sees this, so I am going to stop now while i'm ahead.
Computer guru ubergamer Extraordinaire. Also enjoys arguing with Liberals, for he is as hardcore conservative as you can get. Other lesser beings he loves to argue with includes Mac users, console gamers, and, uhh, lesser beings. Which includes everybody.
Well, that about all the imortant and not so important peoples in my life. If I missed anybody, I am deeply sorry. I give you permission to sack me.
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