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The Best Site Ever
Tuesday, 6 January 2004
Poor Dummy
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says: "I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blond jokes!

"What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?

"It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community. How can I reach my full potential as a person as long as people like you continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large ... all in the name of humor."

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, but the blonde stops him. "You stay out of this. Mister, I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"

Posted by az3/guitars0 at 2:42 PM
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A Blonde's Day Out
A blonde lady walks up to a soda machine and puts 50 cents in and chooses Coke. The Coke comes out and she says, "Hurray!" Then she puts in another 50 cents and chooses Sprite and it comes out. She again says, "Hurray!"

The guy waiting behind her is growing impatient and says, "Hey lady there are people waiting behind you."

The blonde woman looks back and replies, "Not now! I'm winning."



Posted by az3/guitars0 at 2:40 PM
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Engine Trouble
Fifteen minutes into the flight from New York to Phoenix, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry . . .we can fly just fine on two engines."

An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another hour. But don't worry... we still have one engine left."

Sherry, a young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and sighed, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"

Posted by az3/guitars0 at 2:34 PM
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Cell phone gift(another hilarious blonde joke)


Bill bought his beautiful blonde wife, Sherry, a cell phone for their first wedding anniversary.

Sherry loved the gift, and watched intently as Bill explained all the features on the phone.

The next day, as Sherry is having her hair done, her phone rings. It's Bill. "Hi hon," he says. "How do you like your new phone?"

"I just love it. It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand. How did you know I was at the beauty parlor ?"

Posted by az3/guitars0 at 2:32 PM
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How bad is pop?
Before you drink another cola or soda, read the following article, it may Save Your Life!

Scientists have found that healthy people have body fluids that are slightly alkaline, 7.1 to 7.5 pH. Scientists and doctors have also found that over 150 degenerative diseases are linked to acidity, including cancer, diabetes, arthritis, heart disease, gall and kidney stones, and many more. All diseases thrive in an acidic, oxygen poor environment.

Keep in mind that a drop in every point on the pH scale is 10x more acidic than the previous number--i.e. from 7 to 6 is 10x, from 7 to 5 is 100x etc. From 7 to 2 is 100,000x more acidic, colas are in the approximate 2.5 pH range. Almost no soda is higher than 3.0. Diet sodas are the worst as they are highest in acid content. Actually diet sodas can cause you to gain weight because they alter the blood chemistry, making changes in your metabolism, leading to a slower metabolic rate. The best liquid to drink is water.

Almost everything we do including our life styles and our diets push us into the acidic range: Proteins, carbohydrates, and fats are all digested down to acids. Even metabolic functions and exercise create some acids (lactic acid). Body fluids range between 4.5 and 7.5 pH (Your blood must maintain an alkaline range of 7.35 to 7.45 pH). So even our natural functions produce acids, and if we do not get the proper minerals, in the proper forms, our bodies may begin to degenerate. When you drink soda, the deterioration may be much faster.

Will Cola & Sodas Kill?
Over the long term the effects of colas are devastating to the body. Acidity, sugars, and artificial flavors and sweeteners can shorten your life. It takes 32 glasses of alkaline water at an alkaline pH of 9 to neutralize the acid from one 12 oz. cola or soda. When you drink a cola or soda, the body will use up reserves of its own stored alkaline buffers, mainly calcium from the bones and DNA, to raise the body's alkalinity levels, especially to maintain proper blood alkaline pH levels. Acidic blood levels cause death! There are enough acids in one soda to kill you if you didn't possess a mechanism to neutralize them. But your mineral supply can be used up.

The reason that sodas are so bad, is that soda, like water and some other liquids, pass very quickly through the stomach into the small intestine where it is quickly assimilated into the bloodstream through the openings in the villi in the walls of the intestines. Liquids do not stay in the digestive tract. Almost all liquids go into the bloodstream and is filtered through the liver and the kidneys and whatever is not needed by the body is sent to the bladder and urinated out. But these liquids can come in contact with virtually every cell in your body.

When a substance is an acid, it means that there are a large number of positively charged hydrogen ions in the liquid. These positively charged ions are lacking electrons and steal electrons from other atoms in the body which themselves become electrically unstable and seek other electrons from other atoms. These are called free radicals and what you've just started is a chain reaction of electron stealing. The problem with this is that whenever an electron is torn from an atom a little spark is produced, and this known to damage cell membranes. This is called free radical damage and can be seen under a microscope in a live blood cell analysis. The body must stop the process because you would probably die if your body couldn't neutralize the acids. When you use up the supply of available minerals to neutralize the acids, at that point you may get a very serious degenerative disease. Every soda that you drink will contribute to this acidity. Even without soda our bodies naturally produce acids, and minerals are needed in our diets to stop the deterioration process. Unfortunately, most of the food that we eat no longer contains the minerals that we need. This may be the reason for all the degenerative diseases that are so prevalent today. For more information, see the US Senate Document.

HTN's, Alka-Line™ Coral Calcium (1-gram bags) perform a filtering and purifying process, which in turn assist the body in developing and maintaining a proper pH balance. An acidic environment in the body is conducive to illness. A properly balanced alkaline body promotes health, aids in the elimination of toxins and bad bacteria, and helps with the assimilation of vitamins, minerals and supplementation.
Most degenerative diseases we call "Old-Age Diseases" like memory loss, osteoporosis, arthritis, diabetes, hypertension, and many more are actually life style diseases caused by acidosis, the lack of supplements, what we eat, don't eat, or properly

Posted by az3/guitars0 at 2:02 PM
Updated: Tuesday, 6 January 2004 2:38 PM
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They make the computer look bad!
DEFINITION: Computer

A device designed to speed and automate errors.

Posted by az3/guitars0 at 1:53 PM
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Funny Jokes
911

Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven


Posted by az3/guitars0 at 11:28 AM
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I told you that this site will have everything!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by az3/guitars0 at 11:08 AM
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A Penguin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by az3/guitars0 at 10:40 AM
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About my site
This site is going to have everything on it ! Game codes jokes even how to create your own site!!!!!!I hope you enjoy!!!!!!!

Posted by az3/guitars0 at 10:31 AM
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