since writing this, about 7 years has passed, and I guess it's a good time for an update.
About a year after all of this came out, I spoke with Sergant Andy Anderson of the Phoenix Police. I told him of the incident of the little girl in the backyard. With the details of getting down dates and such, and permission from the now owners of the home, Andy and other officers, went in, dug in the backyard, and found the little girl. Her name is/was Kathryn. She was 7 years old. The dress I had described, was the one they found with her. As best as they could see it. Her parents were now able to put their daughter to rest, and close a chapter in her life. I spoke to them only once, and have not spoken with them since.
All of what is left of my family has passed on. Except for my neice. She has yet to face her demons, and continues to run. I basically have written her off. There is nothing one can do until they find the path they need to complete themselves.
I have divorced a marriage that was destructive to myself and to him. After 21 years, I am finding myself. ME. Not someone who was trained to respond a certain way, but ME. Who is she? Me? Do we ever know?
I have had two failed relationships since then. But not of my doing. It was part of the growth I was still needing at the time. Please the "man" Don't think anything of yourself. Take care of him only. Your needs don't count. Well, guess what. They do..*smile*. I have now been with just me for about a year now. Finding I don't "need" anyone. Sure, I would "like" someone, but it's different now. I don't NEED them in my life, to be who I am.
I have many friends, but I still find I like the time alone. I hope one day, to find that someone special, that want's to be loved..and will give love in return. But those are rare.
I continue to survive. Perhaps a bit harder than most, but I do it. There are mountains to climb that seem unbearable. I'm still learning how to handle them. I do fail. As do many. Life goes on, and we hope we have left smiles and memories with those we cross in our paths. At least, I hope I do..*smile*...
