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Back to the wunderful HAPPY LAND!!!
HELLO!!! This is Krankee’s Cosmo whirly mystical swirling round and round and losing control and bumping into sharp things sticking out of walls that u didn’t think were ever there and being taken off to hospital in a Greek ambulance page!!! Actually, I joke. HAHA yes. This is the ONE, the ONLY horoscope page by Krankee Papodopolos. THANKU THANKU!!! Ahh its good to be back. So shall we get on with the horo-thingies?? Ill change them as much as I can, but the stars only say so much and they run up a huge bill cos of the long distance calls. But the stars are happy balls of burning gas, and all will be optimistic in this page!!
Sagittarius: Life- WHAT THE SALAMANDERS HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR??? Look, the stars are like, more than a thousand light years away and even THEY can c it. Do they not have mirrors in Cave Girl land?
Love: maybe you broke like…ten mirrors before and so now you’ve got…70 years bad luck?? Omigosh I am SO intelligent!!
Aries: Life- maybe its time to face up to the face pack. You were allergic to it and there aint no doubt about It girl!! Maybe you haven’t seen the big red splodges, but…everyone else has.
Love- And I mean INCLUDING your brothers best frend!!
Leo: Life- I’d like to think of the stars and bright and shining. And the stars like to think of YOU as one of them. HOW CUTE IS THAT? I could just cry!
Love- there are just too many guys to choose from. But hey! Did I say that was a problem??
Scorpio: Life- I hate to break it to you but…your hair is on fire. No, im serious. Literally on fire. I tried to roast my marshmallows on it when you were asleep but I guess I poured too much flamable stuff on it…
Capricorn: Life- May your days be merry and BRIIIIIGHT!!! And may all your answers for homework be riiiiiiiiiiight yeah uhuh.
Love- well all I can say is, all you need is the love of your friends…and family I guess…but wait for now until you meet that special man. Sigh that’s so beautiful!! I bet I didn’t think it up myself.
Taurus: Life- you’re two strides short of a rotten apple. I don’t know what that means but…hey! What can I say? I’m a horoscopist thingimagigy not a dictionary.
Love- ur love life is...well its...love is... HEY LOOK!!! THERE’S A BUNNY!!! *Runs away*
Gemini: Life- you’re life is pretty much perfect…except for your test scores…oh and you’re strange love for frog shaped sharpeners…oh and you’re extreme lack of social life…and…hey…did I say your life was perfect?
Love- the stars were a bit hard on you weren’t they. I’m sorry!! But to break it to you lightly…the way you laugh scares the boys off. Clue. Don’t go BWAAAAFHAAAAFHAAAAF! Go hahahaha daintily my dear, like the last edition giggling Barbie my mummy bought me.
Cancer: life- do not read in dread!! Things are looking up! As in…from your position lying on the bed in utter dejectedness…
Love- just because the only one to keep you company is your £60 pink Purry Wurry doesn’t mean you’re a loser. I mean, Purry Wurry is just about THE coolest cuddly toy bear you could have. OMIGOSH have you seen the episodes on TV where the blue Purry Wurry saves the day because little Sandy-Lou has been taken away by Grobble the evil Turkey?
Virgo: Life- Hi Virgo!! Look OUT cos im about to SHOUT with…hey wait…out, nout, mout, lout, snout…
Love- cout, gout, kout, rout, MOUNTain…
Libra: Life- its good to say that you DON’T have scales so…you know…your stars say WAHEY!!
Love- the non scales thing is an upper…and so is…EVERYTHING!! Triple umpalompa wahey!
Aquarius: Life- good marks, check! Cool personality, check!! Great smile, CHECK!!! Hey, don’t stop me; I’m on a roll!!
Love- all you need to do is THROW a snowball over the garden wall and go next door and ask to retrieve it!! Or throw a ball…or a frog…OMIGOSH!! If you throw the frog it might get stuck to the cobweb of guilt by Grobble the evil Turkey like in episode 12!!that episode was NEARLY rated PG!! Um…stick to a ball or sumfin…I’m going to have nightmares now :S
Pisces: Life- hey maybe this will take the glum out of you’re eye. Iiiiiiiiiiiiii’m a big red fish swimming in the big red sea im a big red fish swimming in a big red sea
love- EVERYBODY im a big red fi…sh…swimming in…the…everybody??? ok ok!! so...was that guy hitting on you? no he was hitting you...like...physically. with a baseball bat. YES thats why it hurt do much!!!
hope you liked them…ill update as soon as I can be bothered chumarinoes and cumarunies!! Lalalala skip skip!! oh and tell us what you think at firstname.lastname@example.org