2001: The good, bad and indifferent
By Eric
Alterman, a columnist for The Nation and a regular contributor to
MSNBC.com.
Dec. 28 2001
— Now that everyone has finished
exchanging gifts and
enjoying (enduring?) their big holiday meals, you
might as well
admit you’ve run out of things to talk about.
There’s another five
days left in the holiday, which might mean as many
as 10 or 15 meals
when many people will be straining for topics of
interest to sustain
them between the soup and dessert.
As a public service therefore, I once again present
my annual List
of Lists column, that should contain enough material
to start literally
dozens of , ahem, interesting conversations — if not
near-arguments —
among your now better informed families.
Don’t bother thanking me. It was the least I could
do. Happy
arguing….
———-
Best Books published in 2001 that I happened to
read:
Fiction: Jonathan Franzen, The Corrections
Current Events: Eric Schlosser, Fast Food Nation
History: Louis Menand, The Metaphysical Club
Biography: David Hadju, Positively Fourth Street
Best 2001 TV Series I Happened to Watch:
Curb Your Enthusiasm — HBO
The Sopranos—HBO
The Chris Isaac Show — Showtime
The West Wing — NBC
Six Feet Under—HBO
Project Greenlight—HBO
The Mind of the Married Man—HBO
No Comparison to Anything Else in the History of the Television Medium:
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Live-HBO
Best 2001 Movies I Happened to See:
Together
Dinner Rush
Ghost World
America’s Sweethearts
The Heist
Moulin Rouge
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Va Savoir
Waking Life
2001 Movie to Make Sex Look Least Attractive:
Intimacy
Best Albums of 2001:
America — A Tribute to Heroes
Lucinda Williams: Essence
The Strokes: Is this It?
Maggie and Suzzy Roche: Zero Church
Bob Dylan: Love and Theft
Leonard Cohen: Ten New Songs
Diana Krall: The Look of Love
Timeless: A Tribute to Hank Williams
Reissues:
The Complete Billie Holiday on Columbia, 1933-1944.
Can You Dig It? The ’70s Soul Experience
Miles Davis, The Complete “In a Silent Way” Sessions
The Ramones reissues
The Creedence reissues
Best live musical performances in honor of the heroes of 9/11:
Bruce Springsteen, “My City in Ruins”;
Neil Young, “Imagine”;
David Bowie, “America”;
Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, “Salt of the Earth.”
Wouldda Been Included if It Hadn’t Gone on Quite So
Long: Willie Nelson et al, “America the Beautiful.”
Punditocracy Moments to Live Forever:
- Geraldo stands on “Hallowed Ground” where US
troops were killed by friendly fire… 200 miles away; blames “Fog of War” when
called on it by genuine journalist;
- Chris Matthews pronounces George Bush’s presidency
“legitimate” after president bonds with firemen at Ground Zero;
- Ted Turner asks CNN employees with ash on
foreheads for Ash Wednesday, “What are you, a bunch of Jesus freaks? You ought
to be working for Fox.”;
Runners-Up:
- Chris Matthews credits George Bush with “courage”
and “grace under pressure” for throwing out a baseball during World Series;
- National Review Online’s Ann Coulter announcing,
“We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to
Christianity.”
Best New Look: Al Gore
with facial hair (implying he’ll stay away in 2004)
Best Sports Moment: Tie:
Games 4, 5 and 7 of the World Series.
Runners Up: Cal
Ripken retires and Barry Bonds keeps on slugging.
Best Geography Lesson for US Students:
Bombing of Afghanistan.
Best Disappearing Act: Dick
Cheney Since Sept. 11.
Runner-Up: George
W. on 9/11.
Cutest Kids Story: The
Arrest of the Bush Twins.
Flag Manufacturers
Bible Salesmen
Gary Condit
Anti-Arab Racists
Israel
People in New York City About to Buy or Rent
Downtown.
Michael Bloomberg
Most Poignant Line Spoken on Television:
“Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”
Most Athletic Newborn: Andre
Agassi and Steffi Graf’s son, Jaden.
Biggest About-Face: Ann
Heche, Now an ex-lesbian, married, pregnant, and no longer possessed by demons.
Best Performance by a Politician in a War Against
Terrorism: Tony Blair
Best Performance by a City:
You Have to Ask? Get Ouddahere. I mean it. Ouddahere Before I Let You Have It!
Classiest Exit: The
Passengers of Flight 93
Runners Up: George
Harrison, Kay Graham
Best Cartoon: New
Yorker Stan cover
Most peculiar NAFTA-ridden pop song:
God Bless America sung by
Canadian Celine Dion.
Stupidest Statements in the Aftermath of 9/11:
Tie, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson.
Cleanest Getaway (So Far):
Enron Execs give themselves millions while workers’ pensions are fleeced.
Best Friend of Enron: George
W. Bush/Dick Cheney (tie).
Oddest Poll Question: CNN
asking Afghans what they think of J. Lo.
Best Garage Sale: Prince
Jefri Bolkiah of Brunei
Most Shameless Political Exploitation of 9/11:
The Push for Missile Defense.
Runners-Up: Alaskan
Oil Development and Fast-Track Trade Authority.
Most Promising Political Development in Europe:
IRA Disarmament.
Least Promising Political Development Anywhere:
Israelis and Palestinians collapse into a brutal, senseless war.
Most Amazing Uses of New Technology:
Unmanned Spy drones in Afghanistan, Cloning, IT.
Ralph Nader
Al Gore
Chandra Levy
Mariah Carey
The “New Economy”
My 401K
Enron
Best evidence that a 90 percent presidential
approval rating does
not really change a man:
Worst Moment for American Democracy:
John Ashcroft equates dissent with treason.
Runner-up: Ari
Fleischer tells Americans to watch what they say.
Worst Fiction: Allege
Plot Against Air Force One on 9/11
Worst 2001 Movie to Get Inexplicably Good Reviews: Mulholland Drive.
Worst New Look: The
Crawl.
Worst Driver: Lizzie
Grubman.
Runner-Up, Worst Journalistic Judgment:
Coverage of Lizzie Grubman driving incident.
Winner, Worst Journalistic Judgment:
Media ignores the fact that Al Gore won a majority of legally cast votes in
Florida and declares the recount, “Utterly Irrelevant.”
Worst Performance in a Video:
Osama bin Laden.
Runner Up: Osama
bin Laden.
Other Runners Up: All
those Sheiks.
Worst Literary Moment: The
demise of Lingua Franca.
Worst new name: P.
Diddy.
Worst Old Name: Puff
Daddy.
Worst NY Moment, that is oddly thought of as Best NY Moment:
Firefighter Mike Moran: “Osama bin Laden can kiss my
royal Irish ass.”
Worst commercial exploitation of 9/11 heroism:
Phony PDNY & FDNY caps.
Worst Wimp-Out: Bill
Maher says he didn’t mean it.
Runner-up: Time
lacks nerve to pick Osama bin Laden as Person of
the Year.
