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*-*-*

Kathryn Janeway tried not to yawn as she hurried down the corridor trying at the same time to maintain her composure as a perfect Starfleet officer, decked out in the red and black of her uniform.

"Computer time?"

"The time is 0741 hours."

Damn, she was late. Impatiently she waited for the lift doors to open This would be the last time Tom Paris would make her late. Just one more game indeed. One game of pool at Sandrine's had turned into two, then three, until she realised with a start that it had gone 0100 hours and she still had all those reports to complete. Damn, damn, damn.

Finally the doors opened and she stepped in not noticing who else was in the lift.

"Commander."

Her head snapped up and she found herself facing the grinning form of the one and only Tom Paris. Well at least she would not be the only one late then.

"Bridge," she commanded, the doors sliding shut.

The grin never left Paris' face, but she elected to ignore it and him.

"Sleep well Commander?"

She tried not to react to him

"Yes thank you Lieutenant, no thanks to you."

"Hey all I did was suggest another game," he protested his blue eyes twinkling. "You didn't have to stay and play."

He was right, but it didn't stop her wanting to lay the blame squarely on his shoulders. "You only suggested another game because I hammered you at the others," she pointed out with a slight hint of a smile.

He opened his mouth, but shut it quickly just as the doors opened and she moved out onto the brightly lit Bridge. Then a grin lit up his face.

"Same time again tonight then Kathryn," he whispered by he ear just as they passed Harry Kim at Ops, before moving away from her to take his seat at the front of the Bridge.

Kathryn bit the sides of her cheeks trying to maintain her pride as she fought to stop a blush from spreading across her face. Damn you Paris she vowed glancing at Harry before taking her seat. Looking around she suddenly noticed a presence missing.

"The Captain is in his Ready Room," Tuvok informed her probably noticing her gaze.

Already? She frowned slightly, surely she was not that late.

"And would like to see you immediately."

Or maybe not.

Forcing back a sigh she rose from her command chair ignoring all the inquisitive gazes and made her way to the door. After a slight hesitation she entered.

Captain Chakotay was sat at his desk, head bowed as he studied his computer console. Hearing her enter, he looked up his dark eyes flicking quickly over the figure of his first officer. Although she was slight in stature and small in height, he had always marvelled at the amount of command she actually possessed. A natural leader. No wonder the Maquis had valued her so much. Maybe that was why Starfleet had been so concerned about her, almost fearing her ability to lead others against them. They realised the threat she could pose.

"Paris keep you busy last night?"

She did blush at this comment and opened her mouth to say something, but he waved her silent. "Don't worry, just don't make it a regular occurrence."

Kathryn was relieved but for a split second she wondered if he was referring about her lateness or Paris and the pool. Maybe both?

Suddenly he moved. "I know it's early but can I get you a drink? Tea? Coffee?"

It was only then that she realised how much she actually need one. Getting up so late she had been in a great rush and had given breakfast a miss. Not that that was unusual, she rarely visited the Messhall for breakfast. For one she never really had the time and two she still could not stomach half of the things Neelix served up for breakfast. She was still recovering from the yellow thing he had served up two days ago for dinner. Just the thought of it turned her stomach.

"Yes please," she replied. "Coffee..."

"Black, no sugar." he interrupted bringing a smile to her lips.

"You know me too well," she laughed.

He smiled but quickly looked away.

Kathryn watched him trying not to frown. What was it that had crossed his face. What was he thinking?

Chakotay quickly collected their drinks, bringing them over to the small coffee table sat nestled next to the long sofa. Sitting he watched as Kathryn joined him, a slight smile on her face as she took her drink from him, their fingers briefly brushed sending a tingle through his body.

Damn he was a grown man this was not supposed to happen. Surely he had grown out of these sorts of crushes. He was too old for these sorts of problems.

Kathryn was sitting in silence slowly sipping her drink. Her long auburn hair was pulled back off her face, resting in a bun on the top of her head. Practical for the job, if it did not leave room for the imagination to wildly picture what it would be like loose, washing over her shoulders like a beautiful waterfall. Many dull shifts had been idled away quickly considering the possibilities. Yep, definitely.

With a start he realised that she was waiting for him to speak. Probably to explain why he had called her into his office.

"There's a planet," he said calmly. "Still fifteen light years away and slightly off our present course, but sensors show that it is an M-Class planet with a hospitable climate and masses of plant life."

Kathryn was trying to absorb this information as she sipped her drink. She knew instantly what he was getting at. It had been a while since the crew had had any real shore leave and Neelix's last report had highlighted the fact that they were once again running low on some vital food supplies. This would be a great opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, if only...

If only they were not going to be attacked by the Kazon or Vidiians in the process. It was no secret that Voyager was high on each of their hit lists.

"How far are we from Vidiian space?" she asked lightly.

"Not far enough."

The Alpha Quadrant would not be far enough in her mind.

"I think we have to risk it," she continued shrivelling in her seat to face him. "We need those supplies."

Chakotay could not help but smile slightly as he watched her. She was so intense about what she was saying.

"I want you to work with Tuvok and Stellar Cartography and get a report done on the ship's safety. I want to make sure that we're not caught unaware."

"Aye sir," she nodded rising to her feet, setting down her now empty cup.

"Think you can handle it Commander?"

She shot him a glare that would have levelled a lesser man and rose a stern eyebrow.

Dimples formed on his cheeks as he held his hands up in surrender. "I was kidding."

She smiled slightly then made to leave. Hearing the Captain's voice she hesitated just by the door.

"Just how many times did you beat Paris at pool last night Kathryn?"

She smiles slightly, glancing over her shoulder before leaving. "Oh, just four."

*-*-*

Paris tried not to grimace as he picked up another bowl of what Neelix had the nerve to call food. Damn maybe he should use his rations a little more carefully.

Glancing around he searched for somewhere to sit. A wry smile lit up his face as he noticed an empty seat, before sauntering over to it.

"Mind if I sit here?"

Kathryn glanced up just in time to see Paris take the seat opposite before she could even say anything. She had not even heard him approach she had been so deep in thought. The problem was what she was thinking of. For some reason the look on the Captain's face had been plaguing her all morning. That strange look that had flashed across when she had mentioned that he knew her too well. What was it? Remorse? Regret maybe? What?

"What's the food taste like?"

Glancing down she then realised that she had not eaten very much, just pushed it aimlessly around her plate for the past two or three minutes.

She did not have to reply anyway, Tom found out soon enough as he took a mouthful.

"Aww," he protested looking as though to spit it out, but somehow managed to swallow. "That's disgusting."

Smiling a touch Kathryn just shrugged offering him the rest of her drink, which he gratefully accepted and downed half of it in two gulps.

"What the hell is it?"

"Leeola root stew I think," she replied for the first time. "Contains all the nutrients the body needs."

"Damn the nutrients, can't we have something decent for once?"

She smiled vaguely, glazing at the stars behind his head.

"Thinking about the Captain again?"

Her head snapped back down too quickly for her liking, in reply to his "innocent" pondering. Damn that blush was threatening again.

"I'm not," she counter acted.

"Yeah and I'm a Klingon," he grinned knowing that he had once more hit the bulls eye where she was concerned. After knowing Kathryn for so long and fighting with her in the Maquis, he was an expert on her facial expressions and this one was lined with guilt, like a small child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"And anyway, I still have a big pool open on you two."

"Your wasting your time Tom," she told him for not the first time. "There's nothing between us..."

"Not yet," he added with a quirky grin, "but maybe..."

Choosing to ignore that comment she decided to turn the tables on their head.

"And talking of Klingons," she said lightly, "what's happening between you and a certain Chief Engineer?"

"Nothing," Tom answered smoothly wondering how she had hit home so quickly.

"Not yet I see," Kathryn grinned, "but maybe." She winked quickly at him rising from her seat. Picking up her tray she turned to suddenly come face to face with... with who? The man of her dreams? Sometimes perhaps, but she pushed that far from her mind. Anyway, someone like him would not be interested in her. They were friends, just good friends.

"Captain," she greeted, hastily retreating before finding herself falling into the dark murky depths of his eyes.

Chakotay found himself gazing at her as she left. The way she walked, how she carried herself. He could not help it. She was just there, but so inaccessible.

Where had she just appeared from? Oh there, sitting with Paris. Well that settled it then. Maybe they were a little more then just friends.

*-*-*

Chakotay awoke panting, a small bead of sweat running down the side of his face. What the hell?

Scrambling out of bed, he quickly made his way to the bathroom, bending down to splash water over his face. Damn he was warm. Looking up he caught his reflection in the mirror. His face felt and looked flushed and slightly darker then normal. What the hell was happening to him?

He had had disturbing dreams before, but nothing quite like this. This was unreal.

Kathryn.

Her name had been on his lips when he had awoken and it would not take a genius to discover just what he was dreaming about. Certainly not if they saw him in his present condition.

Damn, this was not happening. This could not happen. He was the Captain damn it. The Captain. He was not allowed distractions like this. This had to stop, and he had to stop it. He had a ship to run.

*-*-*

Kathryn made sure that she was not late for the staff meeting. She had got a slightly earlier night, declining Tom's offer for another game of pool. Instead she had opted to return to her quarters and maybe read or something. Or maybe not. For a lack of anything better to do she had decided to finish that report for the Captain.

Walking into the conference room she found one person already in there.

"No pool last night Commander?"

She watched as the Captain turned from where he was stood gazing out of the window. He looks tired she thought immediately. He obviously did not get a particularly good night rest.

"I decided to give Paris' offer a miss," she smiled handing over the PADD with her report on. "Here's the report you requested."

He nodded taking it from her, oddly quiet. Sitting he quickly scanned it as the other officers began to enter. Almost silently they all took their seats.

"Anything to report?" Chakotay asked glancing up. "B'Elanna?" His eyes shifted to the half Klingon engineer.

"Everything's working at optimum conditions Captain. Engines, weapons, transporters, not a hitch."

"Good," he acknowledged shifting his gaze around the table.

A puzzled thought suddenly crossed Kathryn's mind as she sat there. Was it her or was the Captain purposely not looking at her?

"Urm Captain, if I may." It was Neelix that finally spoke up. "As I said in my last report, we're starting to run low on some supplies, foods in particular. I predict that we have around a month left, but that's it."

A smile ghosted the edges of Chakotay's lips.

"We've got that one sorted Neelix. There's a planet twelve light years from here and it appears to have everything we need. We'll be there in a few days. Anything else?"

No-one moved.

"Good, dismissed."

Kathryn slowly rose from her seat and joined Tom as they made it onto the Bridge, Chakotay not following.

"I've never seen him so up tight about something," Tom whispered behind her. "What the heck did you say to him in there?"

Kathryn just shrugged a little concerned herself. "Nothing," and that was the honest truth.

*-*-*

Two days passed since that meeting and Kathryn was not an inch closer to explaining the Captain's strange behaviour towards her. It was odd. They had hardly seen each other since, just while they had been on the Bridge and then they had not spoken much. They had also stopped meeting up for lunch. It was like... like he was avoiding her or something. Yes that was it, he was avoiding her. Whenever they met anywhere off duty he would quickly make and excuse and leave. Why?

Sighing she picked up her drink just in time to see Tom plonk himself down opposite. Off duty they were in the holodeck sitting in one corner of Sandrine's.

"Do you want a game of pool?"

She shook her head not wanting to rise to his enthusiastic grin.

"Hey," reaching over he gently picked up one of her hands, gripping it gently in his own he forced her to look up.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she answered with a soft sigh.

"To hell there is," he protested. "I haven't seen you so depressed for a long time. The Captain still giving you a hard time?"

She could only drop her head.

"**** him," Tom swore. "Well not literately," he corrected drawing a smile from his friend's face.

"I just don't know what to do," she admitted more to herself then to him.

"Do? Don't do anything. You haven't done anything wrong. If he wants to ignore you that's his problem, don't let it got to you."

She smiled nodding cheering up suddenly.

"Come on, a quick game of pool with Uncle Tom will make it all better," he grinned pulling her up with him and that was how Chakotay found them a few minutes later.

Ever since his dream he had been making a conscious effort to see Kathryn as little as possible, but it was not working. He was thinking about her just as much, if not more then before. Hell this was some continuous circle, so he had decided to drop in at Sandrine's on the off chance that she would be there.

Walking in the first thing he noticed was the sound of laughter echoing from the pool table. Then he saw them. Kathryn had her back to the door, bending over so her trousers were tight across her arse. Damn. But that was not the worst thing. Tom was with her, stretching over her body, his hands on hers as they gripped the cue. His body was practically indecently over the Commanders as they lined up the shot together.

He watched in fixation as Tom dipped his head to whisper something in her ear that elicited a soft laugh from her. Then their arms moved together, the cue ball striking the black into the far right corner pocket. It fell in with a quiet "chink" and the game was over.

Standing up straight, Kathryn was laughing as Tom helped her to remove her blindfold.

"See didn't I tell you that'll be fun," he grinned.

Kathryn could not help but smile. It *had* been fun. Being with Tom was always fun. He was one of the few people guarantied to make her smile. Mark had been another, before...

Facing Tom she laughed, noticing the doors swinging behind him and for a second a small portion of her mind wondered who it was that had just left.

*-*-*

Chakotay was restless that night. Images of seeing Tom bending over Kathryn like that was at the forefront of his mind. He couldn't sleep, didn't want to. If he did he just knew that he would dream of her and at that moment that was the last thing he wanted.

Tossing he tried to find a comfortable position without much luck. He wanted her, that much he knew. He needed her. It had been a long time since he had been with a woman and felt even half of what he felt for Kathryn.

Kathryn.

Turning again he found himself facing the bulkhead and with a start he realised that Kathryn was probably asleep on the other side of that wall. Just a room away. Always a room away.

Sighing deeply he tried to close his eyes, determined to get a few hours asleep even if it killed him.

*-*-*

As it was, Kathryn was lying just on the other side of that wall, but she was far from asleep also. She could not and neither could the Captain apparently.

Lying still, she stared up at the ceiling listening to the faint noises coming from next door. The rustlings told her he was tossing about, probably trying to get comfortable. Then the sigh that told her that he had given up and it went quiet after that.

She continued to lie there thinking about her own problems. Many of them to do with that man next door. He was ignoring her and she did not even know why, but what was worse was that she did not know why this hurt her so much. Many people had ignored her over the years and she had never given those a second thought, but not now. No not now. Now she was wide awake with concern. What was going on?

Sighing she closed her eyes and was relieved to find herself drifting into a peaceful sleep, the Captain still on her mind.

*-*-*

The first shift started off pretty regularly. The Captain spent much of it in his ready room avoiding his first officer, but thinking about her to distraction.

Kathryn meanwhile sat on the Bridge in her command chair reviewing crew evaluations whilst trying to ignore the Captain's lack of presence beside her.

"Commander, the planet is now coming into rang."

Looking up she nodded at the young Ensign at Ops.

"On screen."

A bright blue and green ball appeared on the screen resembling Earth in everything but its content structure. A pleasant sight if there was ever one, apart from the slight homesickness it brought about.

"Take us into orbit Mr Paris, slow to one quarter impulse."

Standing up she quickly tapped her badge.

"Captain to the Bridge."

Less five seconds passed before Chakotay was gracing the crew with his presence.

"We're approaching the planet Captain," she said crisply founding her arms, "and have slowed to one quarter impulse."

Chakotay nodded trying desperately to ignore the faint smile of perfume emanating from his first officer's hair. Damn, there should be a rule about perfume on duty.

"Mr Tuvok, scan for any ships in the immediate area," he ordered.

There was a pause as the command couple continued to gaze at the beautiful planet below them.

"Sensors reveal no vessels in the vicinity," Tuvok announced with his calm Vulcanlike voice.

Well that was a relief.

Chakotay turned to face his first officer a slight smile on his lips.

"All yours Commander."

Nodding she made her move, tapping her commbadge in the process. "Janeway to Neelix, meet us in transporter room two. Harry, Tuvok," she nodded at them as she reached the turbo lift, "you're with me."

*-*-*

Kathryn looked up as yet another away team materialised near to where they were. The planet itself was extremely beautiful, a close representation of Earth, but still different enough in other ways. The climate was pleasantly warm, but not so hot that it was uncomfortable. There was a wide variety of planet life, most of it edible, but luckily without a leeola root in sight. One thing to be grateful for.

Gently scratching her neck, she stood up from where she was picking berries that resembled Earth's blackberries. Chakotay had just beamed down with a group of hyperactive young Ensigns and Crewmen who appeared to be suffering from what had been called 'Cabin Fever' centuries before. They looked so relieved and happy to be off the ship and in open space that it brought a smile to her face. Had she ever been that young?

"Commander, what's the situation?"

Well at least he was no longer ignoring her.

Handing her basket to an unsuspecting Ensign, she opted to giving him a quick tour of the excavation site.

"Here as you can see we have berries," she pointed out. "Over there Neelix's group are digging up some sort of root vegetable."

"Leeola roots?" he asked almost fearfully.

She laughed glad that he shared her own view on the subject.

"No, thank god." Continuing she pointed at the fruit trees before stopping near a dark damp area. Bending down she brushed away some of the wild growth. "And here we have..."

A wry smile lit up his face as he bent beside her. "Mushrooms," he grinned.

"Exactly."

His hand flew quickly to his neck just as he moved to stand. Awe that had hurt.

"Anything wrong Captain?"

Looking up, he found Kathryn's concerned face gazing down at him and he quickly stood, his fingers itching at his neck.

"I'm fine," he breathed quickly. "Just an insect bite, that's all." Removing his hand he attempted to recover and smiled slightly at her. "Good work Kathryn, at this rate Neelix will be too occupied to bother us for, oh a least a day." And grinning he moved away, joining back up with his group.

*-*-*

All in all it had been a very successful day, or that was how Kathryn viewed it when she looked over the reports for the day. Everyone had been down to the planet some time during the day and had thoroughly enjoyed themselves. It was a marvel what a few hours of "real" sunshine could do for the crew. They appeared to have come back refreshed, alert and with a boost of enthusiasm injected into them.

Even the Captain had appeared to have enjoyed himself whilst down there, laughing and chatting with the lower ranks, talking to people he would not normally come across during the normal running of the ship. Although at least one or two of the young Ensigns had suddenly become tongue-tied and awkward when asked by the Captain how they were finding their jobs. It had been meant in a friendly way, but they had Chakotay on a pedestal so high it was a wonder he did not fall off and break his neck. They just did not know how to cope when they came into contact with him, like a fan meeting their idol.

Now though, she felt tired. Electing to forgo her long hot bath, knowing that she would probably fall asleep whilst in it, she had a quick shower and changed for bed. Even so, she was asleep almost before her head hit the pillow.

No more then a few hours later, she awoke with a start, a fine sheet of perspiration covering her body, her satin nightdress clinging to her like a leech. What the heck?

She felt hot. Hell she was hot.

Stumbling out of bed, she made her way to the replicator, ignoring the faint pounding of a headache starting to form.

"Water, two degrees."

She grabbed the glass almost before it had even fully materialized. Cold. It was cold. Gulping she finished it before another thought. Man that felt good.

Gently she placed down the glass, her eyes suddenly drawn to her shaking hands. Shaking? She was shaking? Almost dropping it she was shocked to find shivers running up and down her body, complete with hot and cold flushes.

Making a fist she clutched at her head desperate to still her body as she collapsed onto a chair. The pain. The pain! The headache had increased till it was all she knew. The constant pounding of a tribal drum across the inside of her head. Groaning she knew this was not right, nor was it just exhaustion. She needed help. She had to get to sickbay.

"Computer," she rasped, her throat as dry as the Sahara. "Activate the Emergency Holographic Doctor and the emergency transport. One to beam to sickbay."

Three seconds later, she disappeared.

*-*-*

Chakotay tried not to yawn as he hurried down Voyager's corridors. He had just been rudely awaken by the Doctor from yet another dream involving Kathryn. The Doctor had not been too specific over the comm line, but it had made out that this was very urgent and no, this would not wait for tomorrow.

Entering he blinked trying to get accustomed to the dim lights. Looking around he noticed the Doctor bending over a number of test tubes by his office.

"What is it Doctor?" he questioned tiredly trying to keep the hint of annoyance out of his voice. "You said it was urgent."

Standing up, the Doctor faced him, his bald face grave.

"It is Captain otherwise I wouldn't have bothered you. Commander Janeway has somehow contracted a virus probably whilst on the planet." He pointed to where Kathryn lay peaceful on a bio-bed, now dressed in a blue sickbay robe.

Suddenly wide awake, Chakotay quickly moved over to her a look of concern flooding his dark features.

"How is she?" he asked simply, reaching down to gently caress her soft face.

The Doctor breathed deeply. "I've stabilized her condition for now, but I'm not sure how long that will be effective for. The virus had already spread across her body and I haven't come up with a way of stopping it. In short, she's dying."

Dying? Chakotay's head snapped up in an instant. Dying? Surely not. This could not be happening. Closing his eyes he tried to dawn on his inner strength, calming his soul.

"Isn't there anything you can do Doctor?" Even to his own ears he sounded hoarse.

"I'm working on a vaccine right now Captain, but I'm not sure how successful I can. It is a very resilient virus. I may not be able to find a cure in time."

Restless, Chakotay fiddled aimlessly with his collar suddenly feeling hot. Turning away, he nodded slowly glancing up at the Doctor."

"Do what you can Doctor," he commanded, his thoughts being echoed by the faint beating of a headache. "I know that..."

Stopping he suddenly stumbled, clutching at the console to keep his balance.

"Captain are you okay..."

The Doctor's voice seemed to come from a long way away, floating into him like a summers breeze. Water, he needed water. He felt hot all over, tired, his head hurt. In a daze he felt hands supporting him, guiding him to a bed where he lay down, grateful to be off his feet. He heard a hiss by his ear, but no more...

*-*-*

On To Part Two