ABOUT THE AUTHOR Carlton Mellick III writes trashy child-like novels set in surreal versions of modern or future day Earth, with an emphasis on nightmarish absurdities, punk perversions, and social satire. Interests: sideburns, razor sausage, Japanese punk, vodka, Jesus porn, zombies, retard music, bald tattooed girls, hamburger sculptures, Live Action Role Players, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Influences: Dr. Suess, Jan Svankmajer, Kathy Acker, H. R. Giger, Kurt Vonnegut, Brothers Quay, Russell Edson, Shinya Tsukamoto, David Lynch, Franz Kafka, Francesca Lia Block, John Waters, Chuck Palahniuk, Roald Dahl, William Burroughs, Luis Bunuel, Kathe Koja, Mr. T, and Troma movies. Favorite Bands: Melt Banana, Boredoms, Hardcore Dude, Devo, Sockeye, Cauliflower Ass and Bob, the Imperial Butt Wizards, the Frogs, Guitar Wolf, the Skatalites, the Slackers, the Paragons, Prince Buster, Ween, the Kids of Widney High, that crappy Corey Feldman band, Merzbow, Upside-down Cross, Anal Cunt, Mortiis. Pretty much all japanese punk, retard metal, black metal, motown, oi!, rocksteady, or anything stupid. Favorite Actors: Debbie Rochon, Fairuza Balk, Eve Salvail, Asia Argento, Bruce Campbell, Crispin Glover, Klaus Kinski, Udo Kier, Steve Buscemi, Gary Oldman, Gary Coleman, Christopher Walken, Brad Dourif, Malcolm McDowell, Tom 'Tiny' Lister Jr, Chris Eliot, and Hulk Hogan.