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Those Good Old Cardassian Days

Words/Music © by Deborah Baudoin

This is a little soft-shoe number dedicated to our favorite Cardassian tailor, Garak. We were lucky enough to perform it for Andrew Robinson, who seemed to enjoy it.

I wanna go back to those good old days of yore.
Those wonderful days of my youth can be no more.
Bajorans were meeting the Prophets by the score -
Where have they gone?
Those good old Cardassian days?

Remember the days when a gaze would make 'em shake?
A blink of an eye and a spy would begin to break.
A simple request and the best would be on your plate!
Where have they gone?
Those good old Cardassian days!

And now I spend all my time as a tailor
On this revolving Stuckey's in space.
My outlook on life couldn't be any paler
If I were looking the Kai in the face!
(And we're talkin' Opaka!)

Being a villain today you know is just no fun!
They used to beg me for mercy, now it's "forty-two-long."
I used to be feared as a god of pain and grief -
What have I become? Comic relief - oy vey!
Those good old Cardassian days!

And now I'm stuck here forever in exile
And on my homeworld I'm thought of with scorn.
I break up the boredom by taunting the doctor
And spikin' the drinks of some loser named Morn -
MORN!

I wanna go back to those good old days of yore.
Those wonderful days of my youth can be no more.
I may not be scary, but at least I'm not a bore...
Where have they gone?
Those good old Cardassian days...