Words/Music © by Elizabeth Burnham
Well hello there, do you remember me?
Did you come in for a drink or three?
Let me tell you what I'm gonna do,
Since I'm growing quite fond of you.
We could go up to my holo-suite,
I have a new program that just can't be beat...
And then she slapped me.
She just hauled off and knocked me clean over the bar!
I was only trying to be her friend,
But you know how these deep-spacers are.
And after all that nonsense, she didn't even pay for her drink!
Well hello there, friend, do you remember me?
Our last deal went bad, unfortunately,
But I know some one who has a friend
Who needs the help of someone who will bend
A small regulation here and there,
And do it all with your special flair...
And then he went for me.
Came right 'cross the table, got me by the throat!
I was only trying to be his friend,
And what's worse is, the jerk tore my coat!
I had to take it to the tailors. Is there any profit in this?
Well, hello my dear, do you remember me?
You look depressed and sad from what I can see.
Here, just drink this lovely pousse-café,
And listen to what I've got to say.
You know, that young doc's not right for you,
So, let me tell you what I'm gonna do...
And then she laughed at me!
I’m telling you, that was unkindest of all.
I was only trying to be her friend.
Trills just won't take advice at all.
Don't understand it.
They laugh or they jeer, or they turn and walk away.
I was only trying to be their friend,
Making enemies just doesn't pay.
Be friends with everyone. That's the 75th Rule of Acquisition... or is it the 79th?