Why did the Chicken cross the road?
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross
the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross the
road before you
believe it?
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken
did not cross the road. I repeat,
the chicken did *not* cross
the road.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone
cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone
ever think to ask, "What the
heck was this*chicken*
doing walking around all over
the place anyway?"
Bill Gates: I have just released
the new Chicken Office 2000, which will
not only cross roads, but it
will lay eggs, file your important
documents AND balance your
checkbook. Unfortunately,
when it divides 3 by 2 it gets
1.4999999999.
Oliver Stone: The question
is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
But is rather, "Who was crossing
the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked in our haste to
observe the chicken crossing?"
Louis Farrakhan: The road,
you will see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the "black
man" in order to trample
him and keep him down.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I
envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having
their motives called intoquestion.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't
ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken
had crossed the road,
and that was good enough for
us.
Albert Einstein: Whether the
chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends
upon your frame of
reference.
Buddha: Asking this question
denies your own chicken nature.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In
the rain.
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
Pat Buchanan: To steal a job
from a decent, hard-working American.
Thomas de Torquemada: Give
me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find
out why it crossed the road.
Darwin #1: Chickens, over great
periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are
now genetically
dispositioned to cross roads.
Darwin #2: It was the logical
next step after coming down from the trees.
Saddam Hussein #1: This was
an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons
of nerve gas on
it.
Saddam Hussein #2: It is the
Mother of all Chickens.
O.J.Simpson: It didn't. I was
playing golf with it at the time.
Joseph Stalin: I don't care.
Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken
cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the
road, but why it crossed,
I've not been told!
Darth Vader: Chicken, I am
your father.
Homer Simpson: Mmmmmmm, chicken!
