letter to a love lost
i feel as though i have fallen into a vast dark endless hole
falling to depths never before imaginable
i feel as though my very heart and soul have been ripped from my body
leaving me to carry on in an empty shell, a lifeless being
sometimes i feel as though i am taking up space on this planet
i always thought of myself as a good person
i still do not feel as though i am a bad person
i simply am not
i look back on happier days when your love filled my existence with happiness
warm thoughts and feelings, the very gentleness of your magical touch
when i was with you my life was complete and meant something
and now, i just am, yet know not what exactly it is that i am
a life with no direction where once upon a time the direction didn't matter
i simply ran in happiness and joy, bathed in the wonderment of your love
no matter how hard i try to stop, the tears fall hot and fast and i am filled with pain
yet hate and anger will never even begin to enter into the realm of my world
for all i have are happy memories of days past when you and i were one
you were the greatest love my life has ever known
i finally thought i had met the very person to make my life complete
perhaps i was too needy and suffocated you with my very being
asking for things that you simply could not or maybe did not want to give to me
and for this i am sorry
for in all the world, i would have never done anything to hurt you in any way
yet it seems as though it is the only thing that i managed to give to you
i will not seek out another relationship and let someone into my life again
for to do so would serve as an injustice to that person
for that person could never measure up to you and the love i feel for you
it is a good love, yet it cuts me to the bone
is that perhaps a contradiction then, and something i should not do
it matters not, for it is the only way i know how to be and think and feel
my love for you is an undying love, it is tried and true and will always be there
my love for you is the only comfort that i can manage to find
yet i will not allow myself to wallow in self-pity
i only pray that someday i will learn not to cry, but to smile again
be safe, be happy, and be that wonderful person that i fell in love with
oh such a magical day in the month of love, hearts, and Valentines
i wish that things would have been much worse so that perhaps i could understand
but all i remember are differences of opinion that do not change my love for you
everyone disagrees, everyone is a little different, everyone marches to a particular tune
but all of these tunes can blend together to form a song if only the heart allows it
i will close in thanking you for entering my life and sharing it with me.....
you will always be my greatest love, the love of a lifetime!
1/16/98
12:40am
simply sam
Email: sam@sinosa.com
