If you have any niggling comments or queries for contemplation - please feel free to drop us a line - and if you can, by all means, PLEASE EXPLAIN!!!
p.s. All of the stuff here, (in fact, the whole "please explain" concept) is inherently Australian so you other doobies - don't expect to understand it ok?
Australian Video Copyright Laws
Have you ever noticed at the beginning of hired videos they stick in a really stupid message warning the unknowing viewer of the dangers of pirated videos. It goes something like this...
Have...You...Got...What...You...Paid...For...
Two things here ladies and gents...for one thing, may I ask WHAT HAPPENED TO THE QUESTION MARK??? I'm sorry but this does appear to be a question that they are posing. What sort of example is this that we, the wider educated (well obviously not as educated as we first thought) community giving to our innocent, less educated younger generation...I mean, gee!
Moreover, we generally assume that those of us intelligent enough to pirate a video and sell it to make money...(well, that's usually what selling is for...but anyway..) they would also be smart enough to pirate the copyright warning as well...wouldn't they? I mean, the warning warns about how only genuine videos have that little holographic sticker thing.....but...hands up anyone who's ever looked for a sticker....????? (not me!)
Also, what's the use of being warned that you may have been ripped off? I mean, you've got the video, you paid for it, you stuck it in the machine and then you find out...ooh! I may have been ripped off. Well, TOUGH LUCK BABY! You've been ripped off! That's the end of it and there's nothing you can do about it - knowing that you have been ripped off won't make things any better. Perhaps not knowing would be better - you know the old saying, "What they don't know can't hurt 'em!" ....anyway...SO THERE!
Silly, boring ads...why bother?
Well, I guess the title explains the whole thing...DUH!!! I'm sure everyone out there with a television has seen those really stupid ads where you have various articles of furniture, shall we say, flashing across the screen accompanied by a really, really, tres, tres annoying, loud and usually male (typical) voice blaring over the top. Now, tell me this peoples...WHO WANTS TO HEAR IT?...no siree, not me. Those adds really give me the irrites. If you are going to pay people to make up an ad campaign, wouldn't you want it to be good, facinating, engaging even? Not the sort of crap they come up with. Dammit, even I could do a better job. Alright, that's it...I'm going into advertising...I'll show them...GRRRR!!!
Concise
I'm sure we've all seen publications such as "The CONCISE Oxford Dictionary" or "The Times Atlas of the World - CONCISE Edition", etc,etc.
Now...please explain...does this or does this not imply that there are other editions or dictionaries which are called names like, "The Almost Right Oxford Dictionary" or "The Times Atlas of the World - Rough Sketches Edition"...????
Two words: ???? ????
Is this not dumb? Are the intelligent people who compiled these compilations not so intelligent as we first thought? Where are these editions that seem to be absent from the local bookstore's shelves? ...I dunno - maybe they don't sell so well... But that's understandable - I mean, who needs "The Times Atlas of the World - Concise Edition" let alone the "Rough Sketches Edition"????
...righto, we get the picture...I'm gonna stop babbling before I wreck this.
The Mystery of the Middle Button
I have a very big and juicy bone to pick with the manufacturers of the three buttoned mouse...no this is not your animal variety of mouse that goes "squeek!" (not that these had buttons anyway), this is the mouse of the technological kind.
My problem is that ok, sure, we use the left button to click on many useful and wonderful things we find on our computer screens, and the right one, though not quite as popular for some strange and unique reason (maybe the left side in general is getting its revenge for it's being dominated over by the more common right hand side in the wider part of the community) is used for showing up little menus and bringing us more options (what a wonderful little button...how kind!).
BUT...and that's a very big and juicy but...I have yet to discover what the hell that silly little middle button is for. My theory is that whenever some curious and unassuming person put pressure on this button with their finger (or nose if they're in that frame of mind) some little, insignificant place somewhere in the universe blows up. This may be an asteroid, a far off unexplored planet, or even an innocent little cow, grazing happily in the fields. Whatever the case may be, if my theory proves to be correct there are hundreds upon thousands upon millions upon pretty little flowers with pink polka dots of miscellaneous items combusting because of you silly people who venture to this nasty, horrible button...shame on you! So the moral of the story is...well I don't know...but just think twice about pressing that button 'cause the next thing to blow up could be YOU!
