Contact
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Lonestar takes this category on the strength of his strong
softball performance in the leadoff spot.
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Guru and Hall's single-oriented hitting styles allow them to
cut down on strike outs and also be among the premier contact
hitters
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Nash and Puffy's long ball style makes both of them prone to
strikeouts. The both also have larger than average strikezones
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As reigning strikeout king of softball, the Gimp has some
proving to do in order to climb out of the last spot here.
Power
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Puffy takes the Ding King (copyright GodKing enterprises) title going
into the tourney. Will he have the bat to carry it out of the tourney
as well?
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Number two contender, Nash has the prototypical long-ball hitter build.
Can he continue his sweet swinging stroke that won him a 20-1 victory
over the Guru last season?
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The Gimp and Lonestar both have shown long ball prowess with a softball
bat. But as the game shifts gears to a breaking-ball, fastball type
of game, and they leave the short right field porch of Harbin Not-so-lighted
will their homerun swings come with them?
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Hall and the Guru are both hampered from longball potential by their Gwynn-esque
approach to hitting. More concerned with contact than lift-off anything more
than one homer from each of them would be suprising.
Eye
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Lonestar takes another category based on his strong performance as a lead-off
hitter the past two seasons
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How the Gimp is ranked 2nd even I'm not sure ... it must be that reconstructive
eye surgery he's getting
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Nash and Guru are both here because they have the pitcher's mindset, which
allows them to guess what is coming more often than not
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Puff and Hall bring up the rear. Puffy for his complete lack of a history
and Hall because of his aforementioned tendancy to watch curveballs go
right down the heart of the plate
Clutch
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Notice that noone gets a first place point here as none of players have proven
true consistency in the clutch. Hall gets his nod for his left-handed hooks in
key spots, and Lonestar gets his points for his complete inability to comprehend
pressure, and his skyhook three over Gillen
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Nash gets this slot just because he is less UNclutch that everyone else left.
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Guru: 0 career championships, 0 career intramural finals appearances (Soccer
freshman year doesn't count), he wears the curse of the Bambino worse than
the Red Sox
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Puffy has yet to prove that he can produce down the stretch
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Gimp ... 10 seconds left, up by 3 ... whatever you do (a) don't give up the 3
and (b) don't foul them. Guess why he's ranked last?
Pitching
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Nash is the man to beat. Lot's of hype around both his curve-ball and his
fastball make him the most highly touted pitcher since Ben McDonald
although he hopes to perform more like Kerry Wood.
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Guru, the master of the dreaded palmball, and changing speeds is the runner
up in this category. His control problems can sometimes dominate him, but
if he's throwing strikes he can be dominating using a variety of fastballs
(he claims to have 8 versions of his cut fastball), a changeup, a developing
curveball (learned under the tutelage of Avon), and, of course, the dreaded
palmball which he claims will lead his team to the championship.
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Lonestar gets the third slot based merely on the potential he has as the league's
only left-handed pitcher, and the off-chance that he played when he was younger
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The rest of the list is a pickem. Hall has a deadly knuckler, and an interesting
sinker pitch, but has yet to show he can produce in the outdoor environment.
Gimp and Puffy are both question marks, with there being little info on
what types of pitchers they are, or even if they have any ability at all.
Defense
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Again Lonestar leads the field. After demonstrating a great glove at firstbase
and more than ample range, he will need to transfer these skills to the gloveless
wiffleball style of play.
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Puffy and the Gimp fill the next slot. Puffy because of his range and the Gimp
because of his consistency at catcher, and his all-around play.
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Nash and the Guru come next. Guru has shown flashes of greatness in the field
remember the sweet scoop toss to Lonestar, but has also shown an inability to
make the routine play on occasion. Nash was a solid second bagger, but needs
to show he can field from the pitching position he will most likely play
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Hall brings up the rear after an adventurous tour of duty in right field. It
remains to be seen whether he can play the type of defense his team will need
to maintain competitive or whether Nash will be forced to K everyone with his
deadly breaking stuff.