I'm the old prospector these nice folks were talking about who were kind enough to give me some space to let off steam. I kinda gave up on prospectin' for gold and silver years ago, but I've been doing some 'digging' around for strange things that everyday people say and do.
Does it amuse or irritate you when people can't pronounce a word the way it's supposed to sound?
Do you ever wonder why they do such strange and stupid things on television?
And, I've got more questions just like those. I've been makin' notes about these wacky things and would like to share them with you. I'll bet you've been wonderin' about the same things, but couldn't get someone to let you use some space on their web page.
Many years ago I worked with an old geezer who took his wife out to dinner. The next morning he told me, "We had shrimps and clam." He also told me about a friend of his who got in trouble with the law -- and they put him in the goosehow. Another time he bought a new table and chairs and they had Castros on the bottom.An old buddy of mine went to a Chinese restaurant. His comment about the food was, "I like Saskatchewan food."
A lady was telling me that her son and his wife installed a hot tub in their basement. Her contribution was, "They have a Watusi in their cellar."
I overheard a guy telling his friend he was having trouble with his prostrate.
[I guess it just hurts like heck to lie down.]One old fella got my ear about his recent stay in a hospital and was describing the trip to the operating room. He said, "They took me down the hall on a Guernsey."
[ Now you really have to form a "movieola" in your mind about that scene.]A reader happened across this page and submitted the following:
"My mother always 'warshes' the clothes". (Thanks, Diana)
This was the only counter I could afford.
When the police have some bad guy cornered in a building -- why does he always go UP? You can only go up so far and then what do you do -- fly or jump?
[Those bad guys don't always play with a full deck.]Why do car tires squeal on a dirt road?
Why does the TV show Prime Time Live call itself that? -- when it's on tape.
Why do they always show TV advertisements for Preparation H and female hygiene products while you're having dinner?
Why is it that 150 men with machine guns can't hit the hero while he's skiing through trees picking off bad guy after bad guy with only a pistol?
Why is it that TV commercials are never interrupted with "Special News Bulletins"?
Why is it that no matter what the affliction, someone always has the cure in her purse?
Well, speakin' of dinner, I hear that dinner bell a clangin' so I better get movin'.Oops, I almost forgot. Here's another thought, but it doesn't fit in like the other ones. I sold off my mules and bought a '78 Chevy Station Wagon. I always tell people I have a "78 Chevy". What are we all gonna say in the year 2000? "I got a "Zero, zero Chevy" or I got a "Oh, oh Chevy"..... Food for thought.
And, I'm off to get some of that real food. . .
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