Mr. Wonderful Current Events,Page 13

Mr. Wonderful Explains Current Events

4/27/00: Bush Brush
4/24/00: Traffic in Phoenix
4/19/00: AZ Kid's Care
4/15/00: Consumer Report's Poll
4/13/00: Border Patrol Cuffed
4/12/00: Kozmo Racist Rap
4/07/00: Crap Art In NYC
4/06/00: Internet Health Insurance
4/03/00: MW Faces Excommunication
3/28/00: $ Coin Debuts at Wal*Mart
April 27, 2000: Celebrity Bush Brush

Ms. Wonderful, while she worked at an exclusive Phoenix hotel revealed that one night, stationed at the front desk she picked up the phone 24th Steet & Camelback Road to hear a familiar voice ask,
"Are there any messages for Mr. Bush?"
Ms. Wonderful replied, "Don't you mean 'Mr. White?'"
President Bush then answered, "Oh, yes, that's who I am today, Mr. White."

April 24, 2000: Mr. Wonderful Explodes at Commuter !

Ignored Traffic Signals This morning, as your Mr.Wonderful, prior to making a right turn at a red traffic signal was creeping to a complete stop (that's the one where the tires on your vehicle actually stop turning) when he heard a "beep-beep-beeeeeep!" Glancing in my rear view mirror I noticed a piece of Jap-Crap car on my rear bumper as I heard another "beep-beep-beeeep!" Apparently the driver of the vehicle behind me thought I was being a sap by actually coming to a stop because the traffic I was pulling into was halted by an opposing green left turn arrow (an arrow that also allows U-turns.) As we both turned right, she zoomed past me on my driver's side, but my big cast-iron American-made push-rod V-8 easily allowed me to pull up next to her, roll down my window and politely scream at the top of my lungs, "You have to stop at a red light!" It's bad enough when Valley drivers, risking their own lives and the lives of others, blindly run Stop signs, sail through dark-red traffic signals, and swerve back and forth across numerous lanes while chatting on their cellular phone; but to crawl up on Mr.Wonderful's bumper and demand that I break the law too and join them in their crimes. Well, that's when I snap. Of course this insistent lady turned down a residential side street rather than risk pulling up beside me at the next intersection and recieving further driving instruction.

April 19, 2000: Kid's Care Cures All. Except Cancer ...

Grant Woods, struggling tennis star, commends the Arizona Legislature for passing 'Kid's Care.' This program will use money garnered by The State of Arizona from the much heralded 'Tobacco Company Settlement.' Since these funds are to be earned in the future, they will be generated by the 'evil' tobacco companies sale of millions of cigarettes ... cigarettes which cause cancer. Har! Do you see the irony? Kid's Care is Arizona's plan to purchase health insurance for families who, because their earnings are too high, cannot qualify for AHCCCS coverage. Of course, Grant & Eddie "I'm a Socialist" Basha, guarantee that if the money does not arrive as expected from the above mentioned settlement, the program will dissolve. They promise (as private citizens, I guess) that dollars will not be taken from the Arizona General Fund to extend the program. Right! I'm still confused, why should some families qualify for free health insurance while others do not? Who decides where the earning line should be drawn? Will it be at $20,000, $30,000, $40,000, $50,000... ? Will the fact that the recipient chose to purchase that new Mustang Convertible in the driveway at $300 per month rather than buy health insurance become part of the calculation? This is a fraud-fest waiting to happen and a gold mine for the medical community.

April 15, 2000: Consumer Reports Surveys Moi

Oh-My-Gawd! Mr.Wonderful, via Snail-Mail today, received the six page, covered in size 10 font, 2000 Consumer Reports Annual Questionnaire. If you didn't know, Consumer Reports is a tentacle of the giant whack-job organization of Ralph Nader.Ralph killed the Corvair & his airbags kill children You remember Ralph? The grown man who is so proud of having worn the same pair of shoes for forty years? This is the guy who ran for President of the United States in 1996 and filed no list of donors with the Federal Government because he supposedly spent less than $5,000. Really! If you thought the Government's long Census 2000 form asked a lot of questions, you should see this 'consumer entrance exam.' Hell, to fill out the 'Automobile' section, you'd need a Doctor of Automobiles degree, which I have, but still ... Cheesh! Oh! By the way, they want you to spend hours, yes hours, filling out their form and then they ask for six dollars to cover its cost! (Think what these guys would have mandated you to do under a Gore Administration!) What does this mean to you? It means that since your Mr.Wonderful finds this 'Consumer Census Form' so incredibly time-consuming, unnecessarily complicated and expensive, that I will not be filling it out, many, many other readers of Consumer Reports will also not be filling it out. Which means that any reports the 'Union' prints using this data will be based on a sample so small as to render the results meaningless. Keep that in mind when you are reading any Consumer Reports publications.

April 13, 2000: 9th District Court Handcuffs Border Patrol !

Great! The Gene Rodenberry fans who costume themselves as judges and then sit on the U.S. 9th Circuit Court in California have ruled against 'race-based' Border Patrol inspections. (Note that four of the eleven judges voted against this ruling. So your Mr.Wonderful is not out of line here.) Understand, we catch hundreds of thousands of illegals streaming into lower Arizona from our neighbors to the south. These countries contain millions and millions of proud Latinos. Latinos who themselves are proud of their darker skins. (A darker hue that many, many Caucasians unsuccessfully strive for their entire lives.) With this ruling, the Border Patrol, when eye-balling the thousands of individuals entering through our legal Ports of Entry, cannot consider race as a reason to stop and question individuals. Har! These judges must have decided that not enough illegals are getting across through the desert, so they've decided to make it much easier for them to just DRIVE ACROSS OUR BORDER with little chance of being caught. Apparently these same richly robed jurists are unaware of the murders, rapes, robberies, assaults, shop-liftings, alcohol induced car crashes, welfare frauds and neighborhoods decimated by these same criminals. (Note: an 'illegal alien' by definition has committed a crime, hence, they are criminals.) Criminals who when faced with American justice, vanish back across the border leaving their victims, wounded, winded, and wondering why. Why, and where. Where is the justice for Americans?

April 12, 2000: E-Mail from the Killing Zone Cramps

Today, Kozmo, the rapidly expanding internet shopping and one-hour delivery enterprise, is accused of being 'racist.' Why? It seems that even though they have warehouses located near the New York City enclave known as Harlem, they will not deliver to addresses within Harlem. Mr.Wonderful, while never having been to NYC, has always understood that Harlem is a low income area of mostly blacks. Free Enterprise ! A low income area of mostly blacks and also a high crime area. It is evident that Kozmo doesn't wish to risk the lives or the property of its delivery people by dispatching them to a high crime area, regardless if the area is mostly black, Jewish or Amish. However, the real racist's, who frequent the waiting rooms of every Bus Stop Bench Lawyer in this country, are terming Kozmo's delivery decision as illegal red-lining and racist. I don't personally know about Harlem, but my brother, like myself, an 'evil' and doomed caucasion, did at one time find work for the City of Phoenix, painting buildings within a city provided 'low income housing' area known as the The Projects. Phoenix, at the time was a city of less than 400,000 population, and its Projects were not nearly as large or as populated as most Eastern metropolises. However, his supervisor, knew that my brother's only chance of surviving his white washing experience, was to pair him with a huge city employee who happened to be black, as were most of this Project's residents, and who had, between paint brushes, previously killed a denizen of the Projects who had assaulted him. Now, if it was that dangerous in Phoenix twenty five years ago, I cannot even imagine how dangerous it currently is in New York's Harlem. In Phoenix today, these same Projects are near an inner-hospital, where a nurse stepping outside for a smoke, was recently dropped (and killed) by a stray bullet wending its way from a gun battle within this area of low income housing.

April 7, 2000: Places Where Crap is Art

Guiliani protest art We keep hearing of 'artists' screaming of the censorship of their works. Works of art such as "Piss Christ" where an image of the person hundreds of millions believe to be God is immersed in human urine. Or the exhibit in Brooklyn titled "Sensation" which features a painting titled "The Holy Virgin Mary" adorned with elephant dung and images from porno magazines. Knowing that they can always hide behind the flabby arse of our courts while claiming their First Amendment Rights, these 'artists' are so courageous as they deface and defame these Christian articles of faith. I propose that these so very brave artists deface and defame the prophet whose teachings so many millions of Arabs adhere to. Come on ye brave artists take aim at a religion whose followers don't give a piece of dung about your claimed rights. Prove that your backbones are stiffer than your sopping $150 camel hair brushes. (If you would like more information from the 'Giuliani' poster artist visit: Highlight link, cut and paste to your address window.)

April 6, 2000: Health Insurance on The Net has Big Holes !


I know you've seen the ads to make it easy for you to buy individual health insurance on the Internet "...without ever seeing an agent." Mr.Wonderful is a student of health insurance policies. Unlike the majority of agents I know, I take the several hours needed to actually read the stupefying legal mumbo-jumbo that most health insurance contracts consist of. I'll always remember the time, in an attempt to uncover why my acquaintance's current policy was cheaper than my own, I spent a weekend going over the competitor's plan. The policy seemed to cover every medical contingency I was familiar with. Why was their monthly premium so much less? It was not until, in desperation, I examined the usually ignored 'sign-up' page. All the options available were listed and preceded by a check-box. However, the check-box for the 'Out-Patient' coverage was empty. X-rays from Planet-X Aha! For most individuals, most of their health insurance coverage is provided under an 'Out-Patient' option. For most insurance companies, likewise, funding the 'Out-Patient' coverage option is a large percentage of their out-go. An insurance company could save a lot of money and sell a cheaper policy if they offered a very limited option and labeled it 'Doctor Office Coverage.' They would do this knowing that the ignorant consumer would assume that this option covered anything that could happen in a Doctor's Office. 'Doctor's Office Coverage' however, as most professionals realize, almost always only includes the amount the doctor bills the insurance company for his own hands-on services. It does not cover any injections, supplies, lab tests, x-rays, CT scans or anything else! Monday, I returned the competition's policy to my acquaintance. I advised her that if she ever required anything other than her past simple office visits she would be faced with not only a $15 copay but with 100% of her medical bills up to her $2,500 policy deductible. She chose to stay with her current policy. Two months and $2,515 later she called to make an appointment with me so that I might suggest a full-coverage health insurance policy. 'Nuf said?

April 3, 2000: Mr.Wonderful Faces Excommunication !

200lb BumbleBee

Mr.Wonderful has been threatened with expulsion from the somewhat popular actor's, California-based bulletin board known as "Wolfesden". I would have to guess on which basis the moderator of the BB wishes to disallow entries by your Mr.Wonderful. He claims it is because I use a pseudonym, however there are more than a few entries posted by others who use less than revealing monikers. I have the feeling that due to my postings I have been labeled 'homophobic' and that worst of all sins in the eyes of any Californian, out-spoken! Speaking of Californians, may I recall the time I was competing in the famous Barstow (California) to Vegas desert race? Even though I had synchronized my race plans with pit crews only spoken to on the phone and even though I had to halt my frantic pace to repair a cactus covered rear flat tire, I placed forth in this historic race. Why? Because California's thousands of desert racing motorcyclists were terrified of rocks! Understand that this course, although mostly following existing dirt roads, also was littered with plenty of rocks. And hitting a rock at highway speeds can cause a motorcyclist to crash or to be thrown into a prickly cactus. These Californian's I was racing against weren't about to damage their silken soft tans by risking hitting a rock and crashing. I took fourth place because these pansies apparently were conditioned to race only on perfectly rockless desert or sand courses. Compare this to California's based Wolfeden's bulletin board. Mr.Wonderful is the rock in the trail, and these wimps are afraid of colliding with MW and being tossed off of their feel-good rides into the cactus of reality, logic and conservatism.

March 28, 2000: Dollar Coin for the Common Consumer.

Granted, most of my readers won't be aware of this fact - which is exactly why you are reading this. The National Mint, part of the Treasury Department, decided rather than release the new golden dollar coin to banks first, they would release it where most Americans spend most of their time and money, Wal*Mart! How sad is that? The Law-Givers along The Beltway have burdened our average citizen with taxes so high that they must throw all dignity aside and shop at Wal*Mart. Your Mr.Wonderful, being a realist, being an individual who consumes, collates, and corrects massive amounts of data on a minute by minute basis, is normally possessed of an emotional state that would be termed "clinical depression." However, on the rare occasion that I have dared trek the shiny aisles of my nearest Wal*Mart, I have been shocked by glancing into the eyes of the employees and patrons. Most of these orbs reflect only emptiness, hopelessness, and sadness on a level that would label my aforementioned "clinical depression" as outright joy. In other words, these are the same consumers I see at the convenience stores buying their lottery tickets and Marlboro's.

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