....ok so this guy goes into a mental hospital to visit his mom, and there's 2 people in the room as his mom's, and to get to his mom, he has to walk by this guy, so as he's walking by, he sees the guy balancing peanuts on his penis, and the visitor goes "what the hell are you doing?!" and the guy goes "i'm fucking nuts!"....

what do you call 10,000 black people jumping out of a plane?
darkness

there's a plane, with a polish pilot and co-pilot, and they start to land, but they have to use all the emergency equipment and it's a huge ordeal and all, and when it was all over, one of em goes "wow! that's the shortest landing strip i've ever seen!" and the other goes "wow! that's the widest landing strip i've ever seen!"

somewhere in the world, there's a mirror in the girls bathroom, a magical mirror, and once, a really fat brunette walks in, goes up to the mirror and says "i think i'm the most skinniest girl in the world" and then POOF! she's gone, and then, a really ugly redhead walks in, and she says "i think i'm the prettiest girl in the world" and automatically POOF! she's gone, then a really hot blonde walks in, goes up to the mirror, and says "i think..." and POOF! she's gone