"Do you have a name?" The speaker was dressed entirely in black, a woman in her early thirties, dyed peroxide hair poking out from the corners of her robe.
"No." he replied, thinking why would I be here if I didn't want to forget everything- including my name and who I am. This isn't a bar for people who are proud of who they are.
Especially after what had happened.
The blonde lost interest as he displayed no further inclination to talk, directing most of his attention into the half-empty tankard in front of him, his reflection swimming in it. A slight man in his early twenties, his flame-red hair falling in careless strands to his shoulders. The man's face was empty, the blank look he used to use in training when he got bored or something else captured his attention, some secretary walking past or a dirty joke Rude was telling-
Rude.
He couldn't kid himself any more. This previous evening had happened- dammit, he'd allowed it to happen- and it was causing his soul to fall apart. He felt so....confused, so full of emotions quite unusual to him. He wasn't even sure he had a job to go back to anymore, let alone a partner to do it with.
It had been late at the office. He'd been sitting with his feet on the desk, drinking something- what had it been? Vodka?- when Rude had slipped in through the door. Yes, admit it Reno, you were pretty smashed, he cursed himself. Why? Why had he felt the need to drink so much? Had it been the mission that day? The work had been getting depressing of late, the body count rising and including civilians. Whatever the reason. He'd had too much. had barely been able to slur a reply when Rude asked him if he was okay. Then he remembered Rude sitting down, clearly wanting to talk. He hadn't had the heart to tell his partner he couldn't make out a word he was saying, so he'd just nodded at what seemed like appropriate intervals. But Rude had got angry, hadn't he....had been yelling, standing in the field of Reno's blurred vision. Reno had tried to placate him, but with little success. Rude seldom got angry but when he did, you didn't want to be on the recieving end.
He'd felt so weak. He'd been ill for days, some strain of Mako flu going around had taken most of his strength, otherwise he would have been able to leave. Would have got up out of that chair and hitch-hiked the distance to his house, if need be. But Rude's hands, pushing him down into that seat, were the last clear sensation he remembered. After that, all that remained of the night for him was half-recalled images, things he wasn't sure were real or not. Had he really felt Rude kissing him, so rough, so demanding, so...in charge? Had he really heard his own voice crying out for mercy as Rude satisfied his own desires, the feel of office carpet rough and scratchy in his clenched fist? No. Surely he was wrong, surely that couldn't have happened. He'd always known how strong Rude was, but he'd never expected him to use that strength to any advantage. Usually, he'd have been more than able to cope.
Then why was there a small, sadistic voice inside him saying, Yes, it had. It happened, and you were too damn weak to stop it, too weak to even protect yourself. One thing was for sure: he'd woken up half-dressed on the office floor, his clothes almost torn apart as if in some storm of passion. With bruises all up his arms, and in other places too. Reno sipped his beer with a shudder as he recalled how he'd dragged himself off the floor, heard noise coming from outside- the morning staff were arriving- and lowered himself onto the fire escape, every second fearing discovery, humiliation, or worse- Rude. How he'd lowered himself down the fire escape, his body screaming obscenity at him with the pain burning in his limbs. And then the past part of the torture was over, and he'd made his way here. To escape from the voice he heard in his mind, telling him to be quiet or he'd regret it later. To forget the humiliation and worst of all, the pleasure he'd experienced, despite everything, despite hating himself over and over for it. He slouched lower at the bar, reluctantly reliving last night, feeling his dignity rend itself apart inside. Because there was no stopping Rude doing it again, was there? He himself was currently off active duty due to his illness, and Rude only ever worked when Reno did- they shared an office, for Christ's sake!
"Are you okay?"
He raised his head to deliver a scorching retort to the peroxide blonde, but stopped abruptly as he realised it was, of all people, Tseng. Astonished, he reluctantly asked Tseng to join him, unsure of the motives of his rather mysterious team member and worried that Rude......Rude would have told him of the horror Reno had endured last night. Tseng ordered a beer and turned to Reno.
"So," he said with a conspiratorial grin, "which secretary is the famous Reno currently displaying his affections too?"
Notes from the author: This story is by no means over! Kerry
