LouFA
1Q. Many young and elder women want to lose weight to "gain back" the approval of society. Does society refuse BBW at all?
Yes I think that unfortunately society does indeed, as you say, refuse BBW the approval they rate as members and their size shouldn't have anything to do with anything. It's just another form of discrimination which is so rampant, not the least of the reasons for this being, I think, that there are just too many people around-this is another story entirely-but in its mad rush to make the grade of secure existence, too many fall prey to this 'toe the line' mentality which is fueled by the popular media. If there is a 'Big Brother' it is certainly this and it is a sobering and frightening thought. So much misery could be avoided if people just accepted themselves and others and practiced more tolerance and that is our manifest duty at this juncture-to fight this tooth and nail and put discrimination aside and make sure it disappears and stays gone.
2Q BBW's and size-discrimination...What's your opinion?
Much of that opinion is revealed in the first answer, but to continue, alot of this is fueled by fear generated by the perceived disadvantages of the failure to fit in. and more and more it seems people have completely forgotten what it is to relax, smell the flowers and enjoy themselves. The popular fear of fat is the oddest thing I've ever seen and it reflects a righteous need on the part of many to not ever seem to be lazy or slothful which popular culture, and popular religion define as a sure road to hell, and anyone who demonstrates a propensity to reveal themselves as opposed to this ideal is the sure target of the backlash which is certain to follow according to the strictures imposed by our present popular culture. And many of those who demonstrate this very discrimination towards fat women(people) are the very ones who wouldn't be caught dead demonstrating it in any other theater.
3Q. Please...tell me three false stereotypes about BBW's you hate more. And why.
1. They're lazy, and don't have the ability to lose weight-nope, not at all, no more than anyone else, and as far as losing weight goes. . . well all of us here know that story. Much 'obesity' is simply genes and not a pathological condition at all. Seems no body ever points out that many of the northern european peoples who now inhabit this country came from far, farther north on the surface of the earth and it is natural to have more fat on the frame as a protection to the cold weather which predominates in those regions, something which just can't be genetically unlearned in just a few generations.
2. They don't have any self respect-sad, sad assumption on the part of those who don't understand. I've had people I know and otherwise communicate fairly well with make such statements and just completely lose me-in any and every sense you could take that word.
3. They can't keep themselves clean-believe it or not I've actually seen this one-though I hesitated to put it down here; of all of them, this is the dumbest. What an absolutely small minded, infuriating thought. Not really worth addressing. I hope I offend no one by mentioning it.
4.Q. When did you FEEL to be a FA?
I knew I liked fat women at a very early age-I forget exactly-but it was when i was old enough to experience sexual feelings(though definitely prepubescent)-because the very first time I ever experienced a sexual turn on, shall we say, was the direct result of seeing a fat woman in a bathing suit. LOL I had never had any sexual feelings(consciously) before that, and so for me it was a defining moment and one I'll never forget. All of a sudden I was higher than I had ever been in my life and though I didn't quite figure out what was going on, it surely felt wonderful. And it was certainly a moment that set the course of my life. I never could understand how dudes could get turned on by looking at pics in Playboy or whatever, because for me, nothing would happen. And it goes without saying that this can be a bit unsettling, because you're not going to tell your friends this for quite obvious reasons. But to see a BBW, say just to catch that suggestion of her rippling stomach under that t-shirt, or whatever else, now that, my friend, is sexy . . . just little subtle things too, it doesn't have to be blatant-the very subtlety of it amplifies it immensely. And needless to say my sexuality is quite strong and never at any disadvantage when in the presence of BBW.
5Q. Being a FA in Lousiana...
I don't guess this is any different than elsewhere except that the SA movement seems to be a function of urban Armerica and with LA being as rural as it is in places as well as perpetuator of an older culture, there are less size-confident BBW here in our sense of the meaning but cajun women may tend to run a little heavier as the cuisine here is unbelieveably superior and VERY fattening. However there is one notable difference and that is New Orleans- and for the lack of a better way the put it I find the sexual energy to be sky high in that city and alot of eating goes on too LOL. I address the issue of sexual energy because I , quite frankly, the attraction the BBW have for FA's is inherently sexual. Talk about stating the obvious. LOL Of course it is DUH-but I don't hesitate to affirm it goes further than that.
6.Q. Why are FA's less proud of being that than BBW's are?
I don't know that that is a truth, David, and from what I see around here in my virtual home in cyberspace is that the FA's and BBW are both present and well externalized, though it is obvious that we wouldn't be seeing those FA's or BBW for that matter who weren't-those who are 'still in the closet', so to speak. I know I'm quite ready to state and defend my likes and don't think I was ever in the closet about this-I dated fat girls in my adolescence-and younger adult years, and even thought the girl I married had good odds of going in that direction, as she was nice and plump; but she soon disabused me of that notion.
Inas much as there may be some truth to this, we must realize the reach of the internet is in the process of ameliorating alot of what could just be termed normal feelings on the part of people who don't understand why they have feelings that are, as far as they can see, definitely off the norm, and who deal with these feelings in as many different ways as there are BBW and FA's out here. It can be a conundrum to the max to have to live in a world where you are definitely a member of an, as far as can be seen, undesirable minority. The net is allowing us to reach out and find each other in a way that was only mildly possible by comparison just a few years ago through magazines and personals.
Perhaps I live on the fringes of civilization(here just about literally) LOL, so it's no real surprise to me that I knew nothing of the Size Acceptance Community such as it is until I got online, as the fleeting contacts I had with anything relating to it were confined to either tabloid TV or tabloid pulp, and it is quite impossible for me to take anything seriouly in that setting. That's not entirely true though as the woman with whom I was last in a relationship in the mid 80's would make mention of the term BBW-as she was one herself-and even perhaps mention the magazine BBW. But since I was with her I needed to look no further and when we drifted apart, I was just into other things because 'on a need to know basis' i guess you could say, for me, it was a bit moot. I wasn't looking for a mate, because I was just out of a relationship and was strongly into doing things that were not of a partnership nature.
Even in the short amount of time I've been around I've seen new people coming in so I know that this is an ongoing thing that will snowball as time goes on-just watch.
7Q. What're good manners for a FA?
Good manners for an FA are to always stand up for and support that which he loves so dearly-BBW. Whenever I am in the presence of a BBW I always do my best to gravitate toward them(I mean physically get closer to them if it means walking across the room), always make full eye contact with a smile and if at all possible engage them in conversation. In short, what any man should do when in the presence of a lovely lady. Just reach out-in other words. There is something, to me, incredibly comfortable about the presence of a fat woman and it's easy for me to act accordingly. Fat women really do set me free in a way I just can't begin to describe to you. So having good manners in their presence just comes as naturally as it can, and I don't mind saying I think I have good manners anyway.
8.Q. A BBW you cannot forget...
This would be an old girl friend from my adolescence with whom I carried on a long distance relationship for several years, while seeing her in the summer, though sadly we drifted apart as the early 20's descended upon us. Quite possibly we'd have been married had things gone differently and we even saw each other again during this period though my involvement with another BBW eventually precluded our relationship going any further. However we did reunite for a final time in the mid 80's for several months till we both determined that there was a certain imcompatibility between us and we parted friends. She was a gifted actress with a great singing voice and even today I wonder how things might have been. I wonder how much misery I could have saved myself. We stayed in touch more or less till the early 90's when cancer took her life. I'll never forget her, and I'm sure I'll see her again.
9Q. Being a FA on the WWW
This is wonderful:-) This is the best thing I've seen yet. This is easy. When I got this computer in late August I had had a computer for over four years and knew I would get on line eventually, but just kept putting off the inevitable. But in late October I stumbled upon The Dimensions Web Site and haven't looked back since LOL. I'm meeting the most wonderful people I have in years and feel as though I've finally come home to my own people. It's just wonderful that there is the community of people out here that there is, and I still marvel at it. If I had known sooner I'd have been here sooner, but that's not in the least a problem nor does it affect in the least my percieved viability or legitimacy as a member of this community as my FAness is quite intact and always has been. Life will be better for this though.
10Q. Patrick and his passions...
Hmmmm good question-guess you could say I am passionate about alot of things, but i think if you get too passionate you can drive yourself crazy. Is this a soap box? I passionately hate the inequities(iniquities too) of society and culture-something that around here we are no stranger to. Anything which is unfair-yet we could get real metaphysical and argue that it is just this which we need to deal with in order to grow. I passionately love beauty in all forms. I'm also in love with love:-)
Speaking of passions, there is nothing like the feeling of how high you get when you are playing music and everything just clicks. It is a truly transporting experience, and a self generating passion if ever there was one.
Oh yeah, I love fat women, with a passion. They make my world go round.
11Q. Please, tell us about yourself ( life, beliefs, fears)...in no more than 20000 words!LOL...
Well as I say two questions down, I wish that for the first time in my years on this planet I could come to some sort of agreement with myself and the world that yes indeed, I too, have finally figured out what it is I am here for, and at the risk of sounding cosmic I will continue. Since I have come to the SA community here in cyberspace I have for the first time started to dare to think that I have, as curiously enough, something now has taken root, as it were, and I feel as though I may be on the right track at last. I don't mean to imply that this is because I have finally accepted something about myself which I heretofore have not, because I've always accepted this(my FAness-however odd I might have thought I was), but because I have found, much to my great delight, that I have so much company:-) I'm home at last.
My great loves in life, not to speak of big motorcycles, are music, astrology, and anything to do with the celtic culture. I've played music all my life in one form or another, and I've played lead guitar in rock bands to violin in a university orchestra, though my greatest musical love is fiddling-which is a specific and directy celtic thing. I am entranced by anything that has to do with the celtic culture, and as a corollary, the native american culture, because, believe it or not, they were amazingly close to each other, both in form and spirit.
I love to travel.
Ever since I was fifteen years old I've been very likely to ask someone when is their birthday. This is something I naturally gravitate to, and my years of study have wound me up doing it professionally in the last thirteen years. It is something I feel I'm quite good at-my clients in Austin would always return for further consultation. I have run into many who just can't understand why a seemingly otherwise intelligent person would waste their time on such tripe, but I can honestly say that I've not the slightest inclination to want to convert anyone to my beliefs or ways of thinking, and that contrary to their assumptions-educated or not-astrology really works.
I believe in a Higher Being, A Creator, and that we are all part of a Grand Plan, the unfolding of which and the joys of which we've not even the slightest inkling at this point.
I fear being misunderstood and mistrusted as to my motives. I try to be as out front as I can, though that isn't always possible or desirable. Sometimes dealing with people requires infinite levels of finesse. I fear fear. I love love.
12Q. Patrick and divorce.
Divorce is a failsafe that we use to repair a mistake that shouldn't have been made in the first place-a mistake that is made with alarming regularity-guess it just goes to show how humans are imperfect rather than perfect beings- and it also speaks to the fact(not generally known) that there are marriages made in heaven and there are marriages made on earth. Divorce is something we use to undo marriages made on earth. Marriages made in heaven don't need it. They seem to be somewhat rarer though.*loves understatement* The marriage ceremony is something that likes to optimize the union to be as one made in heaven but alas. . . . . .*also respects irony* Did you ask me this because I'm divorced? Well, yes, I've been there and speak from experience, and committing your life to somebody is nothing I ever want to make a mistake about again. Rather than settle for less I will do without, and by less I only mean that which is less for me and this other person, whoever they may be, from a optimum point of view for both of us. I will not compromise, and if the match is good there need be no worry as the benefits are mutual. That's why I've been alone for so long these last thirteen years, and I'll wait till my next lifetime if I have to.
13Q. Let's imagine you can make three wishes and they'll come true...
Again-let's see how easily I can mold myself to the question. I have more trouble with filling out forms and questionaires because none of the above ever wants to pertain to me. Here is where I can show how innately selfish or big hearted I am LOL and I always thought that if I were given even one wish-I would wish for an infinite number more. Okay. . . 1. That I find happiness with and through another person-something that has so far eluded me-this completing of oneself which is one of the major searches of every human being. Incidently I may be closer to that now than ever before, because I feel for the first time I'm looking in the right place. I think there is one perfect person out there for each and every one of us-though the search can be maddening and fraught with pitfalls. Oh the joy when that person is found, though-and it is my belief that an amazing amount of happiness may be had here on earth.
2. That I come to realize the reason I am here in the first place, this time around,and that I may then become that which I was meant to be before my time to leave comes. I look around and think I see some for whom this is not so great a task, but then I think-maybe that's just my perception, and we're all lost to one degree or another. lol
3. That we as a race may realize more success when it comes to dealing with each other-and that at least some form of sanity may start to prevail-even if to a small degree- over the insanity which reigns so rampant. I know nothing is perfect-especially in this world-and that there are reasons for it-but history seems to show that some sort of steady helm is needed if we aren't to wipe ourselves off the face of the earth-something we bid fair to accomplish at this point if we don't watch it.
