Wilson
1. Many young and elder women want to lose weight to "gain back" the approval of society. Does society ostracize BBWs at all?
Despite the size acceptance movement, I don't think that there's been all that much headway in the War on Attitudes. I don't blame anyone for wanting to lose weight. It's a psychic battle just getting through the day when Anti-Fat Attitudes are so pervasive. This isn't just a BBW issue: in America, you're hard-pressed to find a woman of any size who doesn't think she's "too fat."
2. BBWs and size-discrimination...What's your opinion?
As an FA, I feel a need to do what I can to counteract fat bashing: because I love and am married to a fat woman, I have a vested interest in this. Basically, our climate of fat discrimination has poisoned the atmosphere of openness that is necessary for any relationship to develop. There's nothing more frustrating than trying to tell a fat lover that you are attracted to 'em - and having them say, "You can't be attracted to me - I'm fat!"
I met and married my wife before either of us had gotten involved in the size acceptance movement, and it took forever for her to be able to accept a simple compliment from me. When we first started dating and she mentioned me to her mother, the first question that came out of her mother's mouth was, "Is he gay?" She just couldn't conceive that a heterosexual male would be attracted to her fat daughter.
3. Please...tell me three false stereotypes about BBWs you hate the most. And why.
The basic stereotype of a fat woman as sloppy and asexual drives me up the wall. There's even a clich in psychological literature that super-sized adults have become fat as a way of discouraging sexual interactions. I loathe it when any class of people gets stereotyped on the basis of a few aberrant individuals.
I also dislike the Fat-and-Lazy stereotype, but I think I can see where this 'un comes from: a go-getter culture's misperception of basic movement. Because very fat people often move differently - slower and more deliberately - it's perceived as being indolent. You see the same thing in American attitudes toward Southern Hemisphere cultures. It makes sense in warmer climates to move more slowly, but to American eyes, this is seen as reflective of a whole people's laziness.
Temperamentally, I'm suspicious of all forms of stereotypical thinking, yet as a writer of FA fantasy, I frequently find myself playing with many of these same stereotypes. The most flagrant example: we know that fat women (and men) aren't typically the kinds of super gluttons that they appear to be in FA fantasy, yet it remains a potent part of this fiction. I think some stereotypes hold because they are so appealing to us. One of the basic ideas behind my s-f series, Adipost Zone, is of a future world where folks are able to select their own body types based on their affinity with the positive stereotypes each body type holds. To me, that's the best of all possible imagined worlds.
4. When did you first FEEL you were an FA?
I think I've always felt like an FA, though I initially was raised to disregard these feelings. For years, I believed that there was a unbridgeable gap between our desires and the lives we are supposed to lead. But I can recall even as a little kid being fascinated by fat women (still remember my first glimpse of a side show fat lady from the early fifties - was at the circus in Madison Square Garden). I don't think this is so unusual. The fact that so many adult male FAs are able to remember fat cartoons or comic books from their childhood indicates that the FAdar was starting to work pretty early. As an early adolescent, I used to draw from photos of average sized women, then endlessly redraw them in fatter and fatter permutations until the paper grew unusable from all the erasures.
5. Being an FA writer...
. . .is the best thing in the world. Nothing quite matches the feeling you get when the writing clicks, when a story comes alive.
As a starting writer, you repeatedly are told to write what you know. Well, what I know best are my own FA fantasies. In some cases, I've nurtured 'em for decades. I love having the chance to express these fancies in print, taking the opportunity to examine their hidden assumptions.
I also enjoy it when true FA artists illustrate my stories. Even if it isn't quite the way I visualized it (and it very seldom is), I love seeing concretely what my writing has suggested to someone else. I've had some great illustrators doing my stories for the men's mags (Delacroix, Sonntag), and it almost always enhances the work.
6. Are FAs less proud of being that than BBWs are?
I don't know. Most FAs can, I suspect, recall a time when they were unwilling to admit their preference out loud to their peers. It's particularly hard in adolescence (when pack consensus is of paramount importance). But I don't feel comfortable trying to speak for the population of FAs out there: all I know for certain is myself and I've grown fairly comfortable with my FA Nature.
7. Being an FA and husband...
Being a husband is a lotta work. Any long-term relationship is. As a writer and a strong introvert, I tend to get wrapped in my own inner world very easily: not the best thing when it comes to maintaining on-going communication with your partner. But, fortunately, I have an extremely patient spouse.
This is my second marriage, incidentally. My first was to an average-sized woman (back when I still believed that fat attraction and married life were two separate entities), and it ultimately was a disaster.
I'm going to contradict myself now. I said before that I didn't feel like I could speak for all FAs, and that's still the case. But I have to admit to being suspicious of FAs who say that they can sustain a relationship with all kinds of women ("It's the inner person who counts!") when that hasn't been my personal experience. For me to maintain a sexual relationship with my first wife, I found I had to revert to many of the fantasies that got me through my adolescence. While it probably added to my pool of fiction, it ultimately worked against the relationship.
These days, I look at my BBWife and think how lucky I am to be with her. We're going into our sixteenth year of marriage, and while we've had some patches of misunderstanding, we're both still committed to each other. She's my lover, friend and partner.
8. Being an FA in the US...
I criticize America a lot in writings like "Notes from the Land of Anti-Fat" (critical discourse is an essential part of democracy), but I can't see living in any other country. Scaremongers may decry the growing number of fat Americans; me, I see it as one more plus to living in this great land! Walk through any mall in America - it can't help but be an inspiring experience.
I do wish we as a nation were closer to living the ideals we espouse. I grew up with the idea that America was a Melting Pot, but as the millennium approaches, we've grown less and less tolerant of diversity. You see it in our xenophobic approach to foreign policy as well the promotion of an increasingly more restrictive physical ideal. Diversity is the key to growth and survival, yet the cultural tendency is to promote conformity and stasis.
9. Wilson and the fat acceptance movement...
My relationship with the fat acceptance movement is rather tenuous, I suspect. Some folks aren't comfortable with my brand of fantasy; others see it as actively counter-productive. Some self-proclaimed spokesfolk for the s.a. movement have tried to demonize me for my fantasizing, and, to be honest, this never fails to irritate me. On the other hand, most folks in the movement seem capable of separating fantasy from reality. I've done workshops at two NAAFA regional cons and have generally been treated positively there.
I do think that my FA fiction can play a small role in the War of Attitudes. If nothing else, the creation of fat affirming genre fiction is a positive act. Even if some folks don't like the way my fiction gets its point across, it remains fat positive.
10. Are there any stories you'd like to write, but haven't?
Not really. I've generally been able to translate my FA fantasies into fiction, even the goofiest ones. The main restriction I feel writing is one of time constraints: free-lancing is my second occupation, and there's never enough time to tell all the stories that you want.
11. Please, tell us about yourself (life, beliefs, fears)...
I'm a middle-aged bourgeois American, married with no children (but a house full of animals). I live in the American mid-west (big surprise: I set so many of my stories there!) and have worked in the field of social services/child welfare for more than twenty years. I've been an English teacher, a bookstore manager and a counselor. I'm an inveterate pop culture junkie and have spent time both as a comic book and rock music critic. As my personal website shows, I'm also strongly into fat collectibles.
I came of age in the late sixties, and there's no way I could have been unaffected. As a journalism student in college, I helped to start an underground newspaper that exists to this day. I teeter between liberal and anarchist tendencies; I vote but don't feel good about myself in the morning. I was raised Catholic but live Unitarian. Though some folks may not see it, there's a spiritual dimension to a lot of my stories that reflects the way I feel.
My life is generally quite dull: writing is a passive activity. My idea of action is to go to a movie. My wife often has to prod me out into the real world, and while I don't regret the experience, I'd still rather be at my desk.
Some of my writing influences: Al Capp, R. Crumb, Ron Goulart, Michael Moorcock, Thomas Pynchon and Thorne Smith.
What do I fear? Ignorance - my own, especially.
12. Wilson and his spare time...
I'm a great fritterer. And cyberspace has made it even easier to waste one's time. These days I spend way too much time at on-line auctions like eBay, looking for neat fat-themed stuff.
Recently for exercise, I've taken to walking the dog. In the last year we adopted a long-haired Australian Shepherd named Ziggy Stardust. He demands regular exercise, and much to my surprise, I've found I enjoy taking him out in the community.
13. Let's imagine you can make three wishes and they'll all come true...
That every man, woman and physician who's tried to profit off people's insecurities would wake one morning to find themselves massively, irrevocably fat.
That every other fat woman, man or child would be afforded basic human respect, plus given the chance to live happy and healthy lives.
As for me, I wanna go live with my wife in Adipost Zone. . .
1Q. Many young and elder women want to lose weight to "gain back" the approval of society. Does society refuse BBW at all?
I think many women still diet simply for the approval of todays society. There may be a gradual acceptance of BBWs (and BBMs) in the US going on now - television shows with BBW actresses in serious roles etc, but I'm not sure that the general population is so accepting. In my field of work, for instance, software development, female engineers often make remarks that they cannot eat this or that or they'll get fat - as though it were a disease. So I think the process of acceptance may have started, but its a long way from being the norm.
2Q BBW's in the US...
Plenty of them around for admiration. And related to the question above, more and more of them are realizing just how beautiful they are and letting the world know it! The beauty of these women is magnified as they themselves realize their beauty and no longer try to fit into societies ideal of beauty.
3Q. Please...tell me three false stereotypes about BBW's you hate more. And why.
1 - BBWs are unattractive. People are attracted to differing body types. A BBW with a high level of self esteem, is always attractive. 2 - Fat people are fat because they eat way too much. Genetics - some folks just cant be "thin" without being miserable due to constant dieting. 3 - Fat people cannot be physically fit. Okay, so they won't win any races, but they're not "sickly" simply because they're fat.
4.Q. When did you FEEL to be a FA?
When my wife and I got married, she was not even plump. After our first 10 years of marriage, she blossomed into a BBW, and when she thought she was too fat and needed to diet, I realized how much more attractive I found her, in her larger size and told her so. During the last 10 years, I have grown to not care what others thought of my preference - the only person who's opinion on the subject matters was, and still is, my wife.
5.Q. Why are FA's less proud of being that than BBW's are?
Social acceptance among other guys. Speaking for myself, it isn't so much being less proud, than it is not having a preference which is common with other guys. I do not personally know any other FAs - so for a long time, I felt alone. I've met several BBWs & FAs in cyber-space and it has made a difference in my behavior - I'm not on a crusade to preach my preference, but today, I do discuss it with friends, when the opportunity presents itself.
6Q. Why all your cartoon BBW are supersize BBW's?
Well first, not all the comics on the BBW Comics page are supersize. Maggie from Love & Rockets, for example is plump and I would not even call her fat. I can only post what has been printed in comic books to date, and most of the artwork containing fat women, illustrates them as super sized. I try to respond to all the feedback received from the pages - many of which offer information about other comics and BBW characters of different sizes. Ive added these to the online lists and I look for them in the comic shops, to add to my own collection. Over time, I expect these pages to become more of a community effort.
If you are refering to the non comic book artwork of Biggie, .. I, as well as other FAs on the net love this kind of "fantasy" art. There has been little, new material like this, posted. So together, Biggie & I thought we would make an attempt to share his work with the rest of the BBW/FA community. Ive met another FA online, who happens to live close by, who also has done some great drawings of BBWs, in a different style and I hope that together, we can share some of his work on the web in the near future.
7Q. What're good manners for a FA?
In general, the same manners as any individual should have. While it is easy to treat a BBW properly in private, I think its important to do the same for her publicly - I really like to be seen with my BBW, as other's might like to be seen with a super model from some glamour magazine. I think this is how an FA can show a BBW his true colors.
8.Q. A BBW you cannot forget...
This is easy; my wife! It would be impossible to forget the BBW I share my life with. Not only does she have a great personality, she knows how to really excite "her personal FA" using all of the physical attributes only a BBW has.
9Q. Being a FA on the WWW
I've been invloved with the internet and telecommunications since the early 80's. Not only have I watched it mature, I've been involved in companies producing some the advances in technologies. I enjoy visiting many BBW related sites on a regular basis. For a long time though, Ive been a silent lurker. I follow the discussions on the Dimensions Weight Gain board daily. I enjoy the variety of BBW stories and art which can be found on several sites. I enjoy visiting the tasteful sites of several BBWs who regularly share new pictures of themselves, with the rest of the BWW/FA community. When I began creating my web pages, I wanted to do something different, as well as contribute in some way, to this same community - and the BBW Comics page is the result. Since the launching of the site in Dec 98, Ive made several online friends whom Ive trade email and chat with online - FAs and BBWs interested in comics and BBW art.
10Q. Comics!
Comics are under rated medium of story telling and art, as well as fun to collect. There is something for everyone - super heroes, science fiction, fantasy, romance, and horror. Additionally, technology today provides great variety in kinds art found in comics. There is still plenty of traditional color and black & white art. But today, theres also some fantastic color images and photo realistic artwork. Many of the stories are geared for mature readers. As for collecting, I love the hunt for specific issues necessary to complete a series or expand my collection of comics featuring BBW artwork.
11Q. How much do adult men/women like comics? Is it a passion which go on increasing with the age?
An interesting question. The owners of two comic shops confirm my observation of the folks who buy comics today - most buyers are adults. Ive only seen a small number of kids buying comics. And of the adult collectors, I would guess there are perhaps one woman for every four guys collecting. And I should mention, a third of those women are BBWs! My recommendation to anyone considering visiting a comic shop for the first time since childhood is to talk to the store owner. Tell him/her what your interests are and let them show you what is available. Browsing is fun, but with the many thousands of books which have been printed, getting help finding something from a knowledgeable person is the fastest way to discovering if its a hobby for you.
12Q. Please, tell us about yourself ( life, beliefs, fears)...in no more than 20000 words! LOL...
Im 41 year old FA, married for nearly 22 years to my favorite BBW. Im a software developer specializing in software automation testing. Living in central Mass, my wife and I are now guiding our three children through their teenage years. My interests include science fiction - Babylon 5 and Star Trek. Collecting figures and other collectibles related to these shows led to start collecting and reading comic books (which after 3 years, now number over 4000 books).
13Q. Who's the person you love more? Why?
My wife, Carolsue is the person I love the most. Shes a very caring woman, manages the day to day tasks which make our house hold run smooth - freeing me to focus on day to day career issues. This enables us to work well as a team, in the game of life. After over twenty years of marriage, she still makes me feel as special to her now, as when we were teens. When I look at the marital problems my peers, I find myself being thankful of what we share together. I just cannot imagine being with anyone else.
1Q. Just to start...The BBW expression...Is beautiful a too politically correct word? I mean...You're beautiful only because you're big...
^David, there is a lot of truth in the thinking that being big is why you are beautiful. Some BBW are truly beautiful, many outside of FA would say inspite of being fat. We would say even more so because they are fat. Take the example of the "Two Fat Ladies" TV series. We are talking mad posh people, riding around on a motorcycle side car, cooking fattening food and speaking in sexual innuendo. One of whom is extremely ugly, the other of course is hideous. Now I love them and the TV series, I also still call them BBW. Beauty is more than skin deep, but being really fat helps.
2Q. BBWs are OFTEN victims of stereotypes...They cannot be dressed up, wear skirts and bikinis, show their female beauty, eat in public. What's your attitude towards such things?
^The morning TV shows are always pandering to these stereotypes while trying to bend them. For example, fat girls ware black, because it's slimming. The programs seem to dress these women and say how slim all these various clothes make them look. But recently they have been complementing them on their figure and stopping them wearing the sack dress which hides everything. One problem is that fat girls are shy, they won't fight back when someone disapproves of them eating in public. Another stereotype is that all fat women are on a diet and want to get slimmer. So it seems OK to complement them by saying they look so slim. Oh you're not fat. Oh heres a good diet tip. Oh and I won't offer you any cake as you are probably on a diet, poor thing. What about the men who have to not want their wives to get fatter. It seems it's OK to call your wife a fat cow.
3Q. Your relationship with Fat Acceptance movement...Please, tell use everything you can say... and even more!
^I have a FAT wife. She was fat when I met her ten years ago. But now she is even fatter. I rather hoped she would get fatter. I bide my time and make sure she always has enough to eat, and guess what! She becomes more beautiful and I love her more and more. You could say I should have found myself an extremely obese woman to start with. In fact I remember just such a girl, seeing her now I wish my wife could have grown as much in this time. For me we are not talking about some holy crusade for what ought to be. Not some Politically Correct righteousness. This is simply how it is for me. How it is for many men. Women are simply want to be loved and fancied, why else do they diet. The Lad culture means that we all go around saying "Look at that ugly fat slag". If when with "The Lads" we say, "coor, look at that fat bird, you know I really love 'em that fat and fatter" the Lads would all turn on us. This is why women all want to be thin. I am not some virtuous angel deciding its right to love fat women, I just do.
4Q. Being a BBW in Europe..Is it harder than being a BBW in the US?
^We don't eat quite the amount of junk food as people in the US. Also we have not had as long driving everywhere as the US. Now that the car has made it unsafe for people to let their children walk or cycle, it will become easier to be a BBW. I believe that fattening food and less exercise makes you get fat :)
5Q. Being a FA...What does it mean?
^ It means you have discovered you prefer fat women. It also means you don't bother to hide this from people. Only recently has it been OK to say this. Before the Internet I have had two people tell me they are FAs. They did not use the term, but described the women they like.
6Q. Beauty and femininity for a FA...
^Big big fat wobbly everything. Anything from cellulite to waddling. Anything which is a result of being fat.
7Q.Feederism! Tell us everything. And maybe more! LOL...
^If a fat woman is beauty, then feeding her will make her more beautiful. It is fun to let a woman who likes food, get fatter and fatter. Watching her over the years and she gets increasingly obese. Finding things for her to eat, and ways to get her fatter. What would be more satisfying would be a feedee. A woman who wants and enjoys what you enjoy, her getting fatter :) These women exist, I chat to them.
8Q. Think of ...the other half of the world! Is love such an awfully "desparate" experience for BBWs?
^Talking with some BBW it's clear that the problem they have is too many FAs, so they treat us like crap. Other BBW seem to think that they want only to be loved for their minds, since they are so fat they must be ugly. If you actually fancy them for how they look, they don't know what to think of you. They often prefer slim men but feel they only deserve someone fat. It need not be like that as we know, leave the fat men to women who prefer fat men.
9Q. A ...traditional question! Many young and elder women want to lose weight to "gain back" the approval of society. Does society refuse BBWs at all? Is something changing?
^My wife says she can't get a job because she is a BBW. She also says she is too fat to stand all day. I say well then sit down. Things are changing. Many young women are smart, they figure things out, they do their own thing. I have seen many teenagers dress in sexy clothes when they have quite a tummy on them. Girls in bands like All Saints have performed whilst pregnant, they are proud of their bodies, quite happy to show their heavy bulge in a sexual way.
10Q. Personally, do you believe old good manners are still "au vogue"? Have FAs special duties towards BBWs? What shouldn't they ( FAs)ever do?
^The FA has a bigger job caring for his woman than your average man. THe BBW should be given a large powerful automatic car, so she can easily get about in comfort. She should not have to walk any farther than she wants to. The FA should take her out for meals and cook for her often. Bring her flowers and chocolate. Complement her continuously on how attractive he finds her. Give her plenty of money to spend how she pleases. Go clothes shopping with her to get her to buy sexy clothes. When walking with your BBW walk at her pace, never be in a hurry if she is not. Remember that life as a BBW is harder than normal. The FA has to work much harder to help her, he needs to earn very good money.
11Q. This is.. a personal question of David...According to my opinion, a man ( better...a lover!) can love his sweetheart a part from every size-related idea. Do you need to be a Fat Admirer, i.e. a man who explicitly deserves BBWs, to love a big woman?
^It is a shame to waste a lovely BBW on a man who does not prefer her fat. However there are many forms of love and most relationships have a combination.
12Q. )Who're you in his soul? What are your goals, dreams, thoughts, ideas?Is family important in your life?
^I can't help but be a Dad to my children and anyone else’s children that might want a 33 year old kid to play with them. I do tend to be absorbed in my work, this is important because as I said earlier, you need a lot of cash to be an FA.
13Q. Imagine you were another person. Who'd you be?
^I want to be two people, I would have one of me work and the other play. Then we would swap round. There is not enough time in this life, and too meny responsabilities.
