Mona
Thinking of Mona and how she was, I remembered all the tears I cried, the ("experienced") people who advised me to get rid of her or (more painful) to put her down.The well-meant advice I got, the people who told me "just let me, I'll fix her" and then the horrible things I had to watch. Although my HEART told me there had to be another way, I was unable to stand up for her. I never competed so I have never won any ribbon, and for some reason that seemed not to give me the right to question the things people told me.
>>> Would love to hear some of the things that mona did and that she now does not do. <<<
I couldn't make up my mind to which I would like to respond. I can come up with 1000 things and I could write a book about the two of us, and still I wouldn't have revealed all that is important to me.
I have made up my mind now, and -without going into detail- I think I can paint a picture.
Mona was bought by a farmer I knew, for the sole purpose of decorating his land. He had stopped farming and had let his land become grazed by a few sheep and some ponies for trading. Then one day, he bought Mona in a local market. I fell in love with her because of her intelligent eyes. She had definitely gone through a lot and with the farmer there was more to come. She didn't trust people, especially men. When approached she showed the white of her eyes. Whilst being brushed she tried to kick with her forelegs or hindlegs. She shied away from everything. She was just so insecure!
The farmer had his own ideas of horsemanship. He put her on a chain in a stable, where she could barely lay down. Given that he could not approach her (although she was on a chain) he took his hay fork and would stab her in her ass so that she would "go" forward and he could enter the stable next to her and give her food. It was too much trouble to put her outside in the winter, so once she was "stalled", she had to stay in that stable for 7 months. It probably was also too much trouble for him to clean up her dung . So when I saw Mona again (that farmer wasn't exactly my friend) she was standing with her hindquarters in a pile of dung, in a stable were she could go one step forward and one back. That's when I started to take care of her. I've seen much animal abuse in my life, but in this case I could not just turn my head. Although I told myself don't do it Els, these kind of people will always exist and you're the one who will end up with a broken heart, being exploited as a stable-maid.
Well lets skip thousands of incidents and frustrations and move on quickly to the part where the farmer dies. (That was the same year I started to take care of Mona). His wife had to take some decisions about the inheritance. For some reason Mona was not valued. Her neighbour (who was "into" horses) came to take a look at her and he was one of the people who advised to put the pony down because it was dangerous. But, over the months, I had taken care of Mona, It became possible for me to walk with her/ lead her. When I think about it now, I have to laugh. I had absolutely no control over her, when she shied I had to take care because she did so as if I didn't exist, leaving me with bruises. Well (again I tell myself "mind the headlines") for some reason the farmer's wife was impressed and she told me I could just have that pony, provide I would promise not to sell Mona, that was something she could do herself. She told me I was nice to the pony, that her husband had been an asshole with animals and that it had been a relief to her once he sold the cows. She said : if anyone can "fix" this pony, it'll be you.
Well the rest is history and I'm now at the point at where I started this mail: the tears, the frustration etc etc. In the beginning I looked for "experienced people", I also tried the ones who won prizes, I looked up to everyone. I felt so SMALL. It seemed to me that they didn't encounter problems. Well, one or two, but not every problem you can imagine occurs with the same horse. And even though the progress was slow, I started feeling insecure, as if it was my fault. Still my heart kept saying there had to be another way.
Believe me, I can write a book about how Mona made me grow. I had first to go through a deep pit.
Then about 10 years ago, I started assisting a biologist while he was doing research on wild horses. As you know, we Dutch people create our own land by reclaiming parts of the sea. We don't do that constantly but the last time it was done they made a lake out of a bay. Without any tides, the nature started to develop and the Dutch Government had a herd of horses run wild. The biologist was hired to research the effect the grazing of the horses would have, on the development of the natural habitat. I assisted him in writing and collecting data, as no one from the autorized persons, was allowed to enter the area alone. (It was closed to the public)(I'm talking about a huge area here). So, doing that kind of work, I traveled miles and miles by foot amidst a herd of more than 50 ponies (we started with 25 mares and 25 stallions). Part of the job was to watch the behaviour of the ponies. (I realize it is odd to write about this, since M Robberts has made such a fuss about studying a herd for a couple of days. But that's how it was.) When you are in a herd for almost 11 hours daily, you can't helping noticing things. I could write you another book about that part of my life but again I'll skip that.
I will just tell you this because it was important for me. I was able to see the horse in its purest form. I was able to discover, that none of the experienced and ribbon-winning people, had ANY idea what was going on NATURALLY. "They" told me I was crazy to spend my days in a herd of mares, with 25 stallions around. They told me it couldn't work. Yet I saw those horses all living together and they had a COMMUNICATION going on. For the first time I saw a stallion who wasn't been raised as a rapist, putting days and days into "fore-play" before finally mounting.
I have seen stallions sleeping next to each other one with his head over the body of another, just like a pile of puppies. I established "friendship" with a stallion who was sure not going to be a leader. Once a day he came to me, and I had to stroke him. (Not going to spend another page about how this was got started) There, in those fields, my belief that there had to be another way grew every day. Each day I discovered that most people basically know NOTHING about REAL horse-behaviour. I decided to find out how to handle my "horrible horse" myself. Well the rest is history (hm ha ha). I did a lot of experiments with Mona, in which I tried to act like a horse. The breakthrough came when I met Pat, he told me I was a predator. That was the key !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From that day on a baby-horse-woman was born I guess. So here I am, just learning how to walk now; I'm going for level 1. Gosh, real scary.
Just one thing: Mona is absolutely far from perfect. But she is perfect to me!!! I have "done" a lot of things to her because ......... I vowed to myself that Mona is just Mona, and that no-one is ever going to stand between her and me . Not even Pat. I guess she deserves that. I don't establish goals for and with her anymore and maybe that's my fault as well. I don't know. The one goal I had: being able to ride trails with her, has been fullfilled. Thanks to Pat, and lots of input from myself.
Els van der Zanden
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